Adrian's POV:
It read positive.
The tiny stick I am holding in my hand, says positive.
My heart had sunk in my chest and now I felt like it would stay there.
My emotions were out of control and I truly just wanted to crawl into a corner and never come out.
How could I do this to myself and the guy that is starring out of the window? He is too innocent and way to nice to ever deserve any of this.
He didn't deserve to not be the father of my women he loves child, and he surely doesn't deserve to be the father of a girls baby he doesn't love.
Ben stood there, gazing out the window watching his father and step-mother dancing in their fairy tale wedding while guests also danced; enjoying their time. I knew Ben wished he was one of them and not in the situation he is in now.
As I stood behind him, I contemplated all these things in my head. My stomach was doing flips, and my train of thought was doing double time.
I didn't want this, and neither did he.
I could somewhat see the reflection of his eyes in the clear glass window. They were filled with worry yet his face was calm. I stood there holding the test in my hand with shaking fingers.
He took a deep breath and turned in my direction. I looked at him and his bottom lip was trembling a smidgen. I took in a deep breath wishing the words I was going to say were the complete opposite of reality….
"It's positive"
His face stayed the same. He looked me straight in the eye and we looked intently at each other. His hazel eyes were starring deep into my chocolate brown ones. Finally he looked down at the floor. He took a step forward and embraced me in a deep hug. The comfort radiating off of him felt soothing.
Were these the same hugs he always gave Amy? Well, used too.
I truly, with all my heart hoped not because I wanted to be the only one he gave these hugs too. I had no clue why I felt this, I had no reason to make him mine and I showed little interest before, why now?
Ben was the type to walk quickly throughout the hallways. To avoid eye contact with the more popular kids, to endure high school with his best friends and have a crush on a girl he knew was out of his league.
That all changed when Amy Juergens entered Ben's life.
His heart melted for her, he devoted himself to her and yet, deep down he knew that there was no way they were ever going to last. She had Ricky's child and it would never be his, but he wished. I must give him credit for sticking around that long and never giving up even when times got tough, but you can only wish so much until you finally have to accept it.
That's what he did; for the sake of Amy and his sanity, he accepted it. He wanted to move on with his life, but he knew how tough it would be.
He knew he needed to move on, but saying is one thing, doing is another.
I know he still loves Amy and I don't think he ever will stop loving her but I wish she would stop playing these mind games with him.
I saw her beginning to walk towards him earlier. I saw the look on her face. She wanted to dance with him or kiss him or even hug him, but I wouldn't let it happen. For the sake of Ben, I took him away from her before she could hurt him anymore.
Maybe, just maybe if they were to get back together, it wouldn't last. She would end up falling for Ricky or be too busy for Ben like she used to be, and she definitely would not give him what he wanted, and we all know what that is.
I contemplated this while still in the loving arms of Ben. He released me from his embrace and I immediately missed the warmth and contact.
I knew what I needed to do. I wasn't about to ruin my life, his life. Our life.
"Ben, I cannot have this baby."
His expression went from calm, to panic. His eyes widened and he took a step back.
"Like, abortion?" He barely choked out the word. I could tell it strained him to even utter that two word sentence.
"It would be best. I can't ruin my life, I can't ruin our lives." Ben closed his eyes. A single tear slowly trickled down his cheek and ran to his jaw line where it stayed until I took my finger and wiped it away.
He opened his eyes and looked at me. His eyes were glistening. He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his tux and sighed.
"I can't let you do that Adrian. I can't let you kill our baby."
Our baby.
Those words sent shivers down my back.
I inhaled and exhaled.
"Ben. It's what's best."
"Killing a baby is what is what's best?" Ben spat. He was now frantic yet trying to be reasonable at the same time. I automatically knew he was trying to keep calm and his emotions in check so he could help me.
"I'm not Amy. I can't raise a child and maintain my school work and work at a church and hang out with my friends. I won't be a good mother. I have a life ahead of me so how could I love someone knowing they totally changed and ruined my life?" Ben had a look of shock spread across his face.
"Ruin your life Adrian? It's a baby and it's your baby. Our baby."
For one brief seconds I contemplated this before I spoke it and I instantly regretted it.
"Do you just want me to keep it so you can finally have a baby of your own? I'm not Amy, Ben."
Those words hurt Ben. He finally snapped.
"You think that Adrian! You really think that much of me that I just want to keep my baby because I want to have a kid that's finally mine? Far from Adrian! I want this baby because I can't kill a baby. I already love this baby! I want to be here for you, and for him or her." I just looked at him.
"I will be here for you Adrian…"
Those were the words I wanted to hear for the longest time, I just didn't know they would ever be from Ben's lips.
I felt the water slowly build in my eye and my vision become cloudy. I took a step towards him and embraced him in my own loving hug.
I never gave these kinds of hugs.
Not only was I comforting him, I was comforting myself.
We were truly in this together.
Forever.
