A/N: Ok this is my first ever fan-fic so go easy on me. I don't know if a story like this has ever been written about Twilight or not….. but it killed me when I read the book and their was nothing said about those months after Edward left and I know a lot can be done in four months…so the story shows what could of happened if Bella didn't wallow away for all those months.I also made Jacob and his friends werewolves early(I needed band members) if your confused about why their all friends. Bella also can still hear Edward's voice in her head like she does in the book.
Summary-What if Bella woke up(out of her lil coma) and went to la Push a little earlier after Edward left, and meets ALL of the la Push gang who are now all werewolves(Jacob, Embry, and Quil) and Instead of working on cars their working on their band?……Who knew Bella had such a good voice?……. This is just what she needs….to release her pain and hurt through signing……maybe her words will reach the one who caused their creation…..before an old danger comes to take away Bella's new life and dreams away.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, that would be Mrs. Meyer…but this story is mineJ
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Chapter 1- Waking up early
"Come for a walk with me"
"NO!" I scream from the shadows as I watch the scene again from my endless nightmare.
"Okay lets talk"
"Stupid, stupid Bella don't let him" I shout again, but there's no use. For in this nightmare I must watch our last encounter over and over again with my words never reaching their ears.
"Bella we're leaving"
"I'll come with you"
"I'm no good for you, Bella"
"Hah your so full of SHIT YOU BASTARD", I yell hoping to relive some of my pain. God I was so stupid to think he gave a shit about me.
"You can have my soul"
How pathetic….. to offer that jerk my soul? I thought as I watched the tears begin to form in my other self's eyes….. while trying to fight off my own.
"Bella I don't want you to come with me"
"You…..don't….want me"
I should of punched him in that gorgeous face so he could of felt the pain he was causing as he broke my heart. "NO" I scream again.
"No"
"I would like to ask you one favor"
"Anything"
"God damnit Bella your so pathetic, smack him in the face or something" I yell as I get ready for his final blow.
"Don't do anything stupid or reckless"
"In return I promise, this will be the last time you see me"
"Goodbye Bella"
Beep……Beep..….Beep
Beep…..BEEEEEEEP!
"Ugh damn alarm" right on time to wake me up AFTER my nightmare has ended I thought as I rolled over to shut it off, as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes . I rolled onto back at stared up at my ceiling.
This is how it has been night after night ever since he left. The same nightmare of our last meeting.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid" I laughed at the memory of his words as looked at the newly made scare on my wrist. I had done it two days after he left. Maybe I did it because I thought he would of came back and stopped me from trying to take my own life or maybe deep down I new he wouldn't and I would be free from the hurt. Wishful thinking I guess because here I lay without him and full of so much pain. It was actually my mother who stopped my attempted suicide. She had called me the minute after I had done it to say how much she loved and missed me and if I was ok after what happened with me and him…she sounded so sad and concerned and I couldn't imagine if she had called and found out her baby girl was dead….. and god what would Charlie of done if he found me dead on my floor….and I couldn't …..I couldn't do it…...but god how I wanted to end it all then and everyday since.
"Damnit Bella get over him" my strong half says
"You cant live without him and you know it" my weaker half says. How I hate the weaker part of me which seems to be growing stronger everyday.
It has been two months of this endless depression and I think Charlie is going to send me to a mental institute soon because of the way I just mop around all day like a zombie. Not eating, not going out anywhere but school when I decided to drag myself out of bed, and I barley speak more than two words to him a day.
I rollover to face my alarm clock and then it hits me.
I sat up in my bed with a start. " I didn't set my alarm its Sunday!" I say out loud. With that last thought Charlie entered my room.
"Bella…..Morning……Great your awake you can come help me get some things from town" he said with a big smile on his face
I eyed him suspiciously and then I spoke, "Um I don't really feel like it…..why do you need me to come?".
His smile quickly faded. "Damnit Bella" he shook his head and then looked back at me. "How long are you going to sit around here and mop over this boy?…..You never go out, your skinnier than stick and your paler then ever". he walked into my room and sat at the edge of my bed. "Your not taking care of yourself Bella and your really starting to worry me. I feel like I'm living with a ghost that was once my little girl…….I'm sorry Bella for yelling like this but I cant take seeing you like this".
He was looking right at me and I could see his eyes getting watery and what was left of my heart began to sink in my chest. I could see just how painful this was for him and at that moment I cursed myself for being so selfish…. it just hurts so much I don't know how else to act…. but in that moment I realized I had to at least try to act ok for his sake….. I am not going to hurt him over that jerk! I thought.
"It's ok dad your right" I pulled off my covers and got up and sat next to him and gave him a big hug and he hugged me back. "I'm so sorry for acting like this". I said and then put on a smile, "I think going into town will do me some good"
I think he was in shock for a moment that I was agreeing with him but then the smile came back to his face again. "Great will leave as soon as your ready…..and this", he got up from the bed and handed me what looked like a book. "I got this for you, it's a journal….after your mother left I found it helped to write down how I felt….. it made some of the pain go away…..maybe it can help you to do the same"
I took a good look at it. It was a good size not as big as a notebook but not as small as a diary. It was black and on the front was a picture of a sliver heart with a sword going through which was raised off the cover. It was perfect I thought
"I love it dad thanks so much" I got up and gave him another hug then I remembered something.
"Dad not to kill the moment or anything but did you happen to set my alarm clock?" I said giving him a confused looked.
He grinned at me and then took a step back and started to walk out of my room. "Hurry up and get ready ill be downstairs" and in a flash he was gone.
That sneaky……he had planned this whole thing I thought.
I smiled and looked at my new journal again, I walked over to my desk draw grabbed a pen and sat down. I opened the journal to the first page and began to write……..
November 19
A new beginning to a tragic tale……
Be prepared for the new and improved Izzy Swan. A girl who takes chances and lives dangerously. And there is nothing HE can do about it!
I closed the book and put in my draw and ran to into the bathroom to try and make myself look a little presentable. Then I went back into to my room threw on a pair and jeans and a black hoodie and headed downstairs where Charlie was sitting watching television.
"So what are we going into town for?" I say as I start to put on my shoes across from him.
" A turkey" he said and laughed at the confused look I was giving him.
"come on Bella you do know what Thursday is don't you?"
I thought to my self for a minute……today is November 19. What the hell happens in November?….my eyes opened in shock, how could I have forgotten thanksgiving!
"Its Turkey Day" I shouted at him. He looked at me and shook his head.
"Now that's the Bella I know"
"Actually dad……how does Izzy sound?" he smiled again which made me happy and said "it sounds great Izzy but lets get out of here before we have to go and hunt a turkey because there's none left at the store"
"don't worry dad I'd knock an old lady right on her but to get the last one" I said with an evil grin
"that's comforting to know….the police chiefs daughter knocking out old ladies …a funny thought Izzy but I don't know how well that would go over with the to people in town…… now lets go and try not to get into any fights" he said laughing as we both walked out of the house.
It felt good to see him laughing this past month must have been really hard on him.
a/n-please review and tell me what you think. If no one likes it i won't post anymore chapters-plz go easy on me i've never written like this before.