Disclaimer: Just by the way...I don't own SON, ... :(

A/N: Ok, so this is my first „SON fic". I hope you guys like it... and if not.. please go easy on me... I'm learning E for ...5 years now, but i could be better i guess... But here it is:

"She changed you.

In the very first moment she touched you.

When you were able to hold her hand you felt so safe, you felt like you could fly.

When she was near you she was everywhere, she was everything.

When you lost her, you lost anything.

You changed.

She changed you.

When you were kind of with her, you didn't care that there was something different because she was there and it felt like you could do anything.

You weren't afraid you didn't feel that small, now when she was gone, you felt so alone.

You saw all the things that changed.

No matter how much you tried to go back to the same old person you were you just couldn't.

Yes, you wanted to be yourself again, your old self.

But you can't, you never will.

You had to accept that you are different now.

So you got up once more, to find out what changed, what was so different.

You still don't have a clue.

Yes, you were disappointed, angry, sad and in some nights completely broken, but it wasn't what was different.

There were something else...not something that was missing, it was something you suddenly had.

The problem was you tried to cut it out, to stay the old you.

But then you realized that she touched you, touched deep down inside.

Every single part of you was filled with her and you just couldn't block her out.

So you had to accept, who you were with all that memories of her.

You had to accept how much you miss her, how much it hurt, and that you would have loved her

anyway if you had known.

Now you know you can be yourself with all the differences and changes, all the pain and love,

Because that's you, you with all your feelings, mistakes...and the best thing that ever happened to you...and this is how it feels when you loose your first big true love",

Spencer said and looked into warm brown eyes. "But you got ya love back, right, Mommy..?!"

The woman smiled, looked again into warm brown eyes, but this time they didn't belonged her daughter. Ashley smiled softly back when Spencer answered "Yes, I got my love back, my love, my life and your Mum."