Through The Eyes of a Child

I am a demon. Now before you ask me if I am evil, consider the definition of the word 'evil'. We see 'evil' everywhere. Evil exists in nature as a force to contrast the good, to counteract the actions of mortals. Natural disasters, things that cannot be prevented that cost myriads of lives are a necessary evil. It is nature's way of cleansing itself of mortals defiling the purity of the land. Evil exists in the hearts of mortals, sometimes more prevalent in others. And then there are the monsters that steal and devour children in the night— the work of a megalomaniacal wizard that wants to destroy the universe for his own desires, whatever they may be.

I am a demon, yes. I am one of Nightmare's creations. He is my god, yes, but he is not my master. At one point in my existence, I would have considered myself 'evil'. I once did Nightmare's bidding as one of his most powerful monsters. I would burn soldiers and Star Warriors alive, not even leaving their ashes behind— even the ashes were reduced to nothing under the sheer power of my sunbursts. I devastated and pillaged hundreds of villages leaving very few survivors at the mercy of my so-called 'allies'. And through all of this, I always believed what I was doing was both for the greater good and… Fun.

Those that were lucky enough to survive were enslaved, and much of the enslaved eventually partook in mass suicides in which many of the more beastial monsters would gorge on their corpses as I would watch in silent disgust and contempt. What a damned fool I was. Arrogant because of my power, uncaring to the suffering of these people. That was the worst part. I knew they were suffering, knew that much of the survivors and the enslaved were children of all things, gods forbid.

Those poor children… They never knew who their families were, their parents or their older siblings. All because they took their own lives to keep from living in the gods forsaken hell that living under Nightmare's rule ultimately becomes. The children grow up behaving like machines, callous to the fact that all of this happened, not questioning the wrongful rule he has established. My heart even now after over one thousand years aches because of this.

I was one of his most prized demons. I was his 'final solution', his 'heart of the sun'. Nightmare has often consulted with me because of my ability to see into the foreseeable future. It was a gift that he gave to me; the reason for why still eludes my knowledge. Was he too lazy to use his own powers himself? Perhaps. At one point in my life I would have knelt down to my lord and hoped that he would merely acknowledge the fact that he was the one who created me. I would clean his boots with my very tongue if he had any… Gods forbid.

Now, I would much rather watch him burn and perish a slow, agonizing demise. Only fitting, considering he personally tortured a few of the high ranking Galaxy Soldiers before he created monsters to do that for him. Yes, at one point in time, he used to torture souls himself. Still does in a manner of speaking. Even if it wasn't physical, it was still torture all the same. Causing someone to go mad is a fate worse than death itself.

I am not the only one of my kind. There were two others, my younger sisters Luna and Moon. Obviously, they were based off of moons whereas I was based off of suns. They were harder to deter from Nightmare's control; they lacked complete souls. It was harder for them to learn the truth about what they were doing.

I have a soul. I am the only demon he created with a complete soul. It was partially how I was capable of learning just how truly wrong Nightmare's actions were. And to this day, slaying all of those people in the villages, torching the women, children, the elders… Hot tears still run down my face when I think about hearing the anguished screams and the children weeping because they had lost their parents. It hurts even more because I recall gazing into one of the windows to a small cottage once.

There was a family of five; a father and a mother, two young girls, and a young boy. They were all smiling despite their small house being in the brunt of a blizzard (it was winter on Floria when I attacked this specific village I was at). The small wooden cottage only had one room, a small fireplace, and the beds were packed together so tightly you would think that a member of the family would have to climb one over the other just to go outside and use the privy. I could see all of this from that window, even from a distance.

And then, I recall that very next day that the very same cottage was the first one to suffer the full force of my sunbursting flames among the several small houses within the village. Nothing was left when our party attacked, not even a single straggler that eventually becomes a slave. Nightmare was pleased to see that we had left a mark on the planet that will forever remain, even if they were to rebuild atop the sun scarred land where the bones and the ashes of the dead were all that remained.

I received much praise from Nightmare that day. I thought nothing of what I've done, that I was proud to cause such cataclysm and death. It even went to the point that Nightmare would use me for my powerful flames to torture Star Warriors and punish the slaves should they show signs of insurrection.

I remember one of those punishments, one of those torture scenes very well. As clear as the air in the Ripple Star's northern mountains when the sun begins to rise over the horizon. Nightmare called me to punish one of the slaves. Once I arrived, he cast a child toward me. A boy, probably twelve or thirteen years old. He was taken from his station because he was openly saying that their "master" was a monster. The boy was speaking the truth of course, but it was a shame that he was being punished just for speaking his mind.

Such is the pain of being Nightmare's slave.

Such is the pain of being in a war that was causing genocidal levels of casualties.

I stared at the boy, and he glared at me with a determination I've only seen in soldiers and Star Warriors. To see it in a child was both noble and saddening at the same time. He had no idea of what level of pain torture would bring. Nightmare cackled, looking down at the both of us in our little stare down.

"Solah, you've killed plenty of the arrogant little Star Warriors in the past, why do you hesitate to torture a little child? It isn't hard."

He summoned an energy whip and slashed across the boy's back, causing him to howl such an ear piercing scream I would have sworn I heard glass beginning to crack. Tears were forming in the boy's eyes, a scowl on his face with teeth clenched together tighter than a death grip. He would have looked rather intimidating if he had fangs.

"Solah. Stop standing around and do what I had just done to this child."

He handed me a whip, seeing as I was unable to summon one made of fire. I set it alight, the glow of the flames brightening the darkness of the room. I struck the boy's back once, generating the same reaction as before. Once, twice, three times. The whip moved so fast I was surprised the flames still remained on it. The boy's tears refused to fall. He looked at me in the eyes.

"Do you feel proud of serving this thing, demon? Are you so stupid that you don't even know what freewill is? Oh wait, you are. Why else would even be here?!"

I slashed the whip again, rising to the bait of the child's words. His words angered me, fueling my fire to burn even hotter. The cuts on his back were hardly to compare to the burns that blackened his pale skin. I continued to slash at the child's back until he stopped screaming and was reduced to a whimpering, burning ball on the floor.

Nightmare was howling with cruel laughter. An amused and remorseless smile hung on his face, and he wrapped himself in his cape, bowing his head in my presence.

"Very impressive, my dear. You may go now."

The boy looked up at me before I left. Despite being whipped with a fiery whip to the point he was quivering on the floor, his glare never faltered, not even once. It was the most surprising thing I had ever seen, the fact that a young boy could show so much bravery in the face of evil itself.

"You monsters killed my father! You may have the others fooled, but he knew what you beasts really were! Does it give you some sick glee to torture someone for speaking their mind? And you, fire demon. You look like you got some brains— even if you aren't using them. Think about what you're doing. You could at least save yourself from Nightmare."

Nightmare struck the boy in the back of his head, silencing him. He wasn't dead; that much I could sense. He scoffed and picked up the boy's unconscious body and casting it on a wooden cot. Doctors were already present in the room, waiting for the lord's word to tend to the wounds. No word came, but they got to work regardless.

"You answer to me and me alone, Solah. Don't let a brat's words turn you traitor, or you will suffer a traitor's fate."

I nodded, putting on the act that I was actually listening to what he was saying. In truth, I was thinking about the lad's words. Something about the way he was speaking and the bold, brave face he held. There was an admirable bravery in the child that I knew Nightmare recognized; he wouldn't have spared the child if the boy wilted in fear upon capture. I wouldn't have been needed.

I began ruminating over the boy's words, and for the first time ever, I questioned why I was doing everything. Nightmare was my creator, my father, my god. To turn against someone that had a literal hand in your creation… Well, that was basically disowning your parent. But then I started thinking about it more, and really…

Was any of this worth it?

Was pleasing my master worth exterminating the lives of mortals who were just living their lives the only way they knew how? Was making him happy worth destroying homes and permanently scarring the beauty of the lands that I've seen? Was his praise worth destroying entire planets?

It wasn't long before I began to see that what I was doing was… Wrong. These people, these children… They will never get the lives they once had back. The soldiers fighting this pointless war will always have the visions of their comrades falling in battle, due to my hand or any of the attacks that the other beasts performed. I was a true monster… And I will always regret everything that I have done.

The boy's words stayed in my mind for the longest time. I started thinking about what I could do, what I should start doing different. Defying Nightmare, defying everything that shaped my former life, it terrified me. I would feel intense anxiety, fearing just the simple idea of Nightmare finding out what I had done and killing me for it. There was a voice telling me to forget rebelling, forget what that boy said, and just continue fighting for him.

The boy's words won out in the end, and I decided to change my fate.

It was during another one of our raids, about a month later. I led a skirmish of our demonic soldiers riding on the backs of Wolfwrath that were torching the village. I was coordinating their moves, calculating which points to strike and when. I had enough experience on the field at this point to know what attacks from these beasts would hurt the most, psychologically. It made for people easier to enslave. Almost everyone in that village tried to escape. Better than sitting in your home only to be burned to death, I say. At least there's more of a chance to get away.

I watched the carnage from atop a hill overlooking the village, but I could not bring myself to enjoy what I saw. Thinking about what I saw with that family in the cottage and then beating the young boy was still fresh in my mind, and it was just… It wasn't easy to enjoy killing innocents when you saw them happy previously. Or if they appeared unafraid only because they desired change. I envied the mortals for that reason. They were able to express their emotions and how they felt without fear. And then the families.

I envied families too. They would always appear content with the life they were living, even if they didn't seem to have much. I never understood families back then. Family seemed rather… Pointless. Having spawn was only meant to repopulate species, but the bonds associated with it were always a mystery, at least in the past anyway.

I continued to watch the carnage but my eyes turned away when I heard a scream. A humanoid woman and her daughter were trying to sneak off. The mother had suffered some bad burns and blood was starting to flake into scabs from where she was bleeding around her forehead. Her daughter had only a few scrapes. Obviously, the mum had done what she could to keep the child safe. But even she couldn't hold her child back when she walked toward me to tug at my robe. I looked down at her, my orange eyes staring down into her green eyes.

"Are you a demon?" She asked me. Naivety always was a specialty for children. I never understood why or how they could be so damn clueless back then, but nevertheless, they were, and there was nothing that could change that besides time's cruel shaping.

"Yes, I am, little one." I answered her. The child's mother screamed and started throwing rocks at me. None of them managed to hit me, and a few barely missed her daughter.

"Get away from that monster, Lily!"

Lily ignored her mother's pleas. I stared at the young girl with an honest interest, unsure of what I should do with her. Staring into those eyes… Her beautiful emerald eyes. They shined with something unfamiliar to me at that time. It was innocence. I never understood how children could be so naive until I learned about the concept of innocence. They always hoped that everything could be better. They always looked to the bright side because they lacked no better understanding of the real world, of how horrible and cruel it can be.

I always envied children for that reason as well; their ignorance of the nature of the world keeps them from suffering in the hardest of times. Children are stronger than adults in that sense. They're able to move on from hardships easier because they forget the harsh times. Time is both a blessing and a curse.

"Why are you doing this?" Lily asked me. "Why are you hurting everyone?" I asked myself those same questions, thinking about what she said, remembering the boy in the process. Why was I doing all of this? Why was I hurting the villagers? The basic answer, of course, was because I was serving Nightmare, and these were his orders: find anything of use in the village as you destroy it. Kill as many people as possible, take the survivors and turn them into slaves. It was the same orders every time we did raids.

I wasn't sure of what I wanted to do anymore; I wanted to help them escape, but the voice started talking to me again. There was always a price to pay for disobedience, seeing as Nightmare took insubordination very seriously. The words of the boy echoed in my mind like an old rehearsed mantra, playing on repeat. Lily's question echoed in my head as well. What was I to do? What was to be my next decision?

Do the right thing.

I looked at Lily, then at her mother, who was curled on the ground, whimpering, afraid of what I was going to do to her child. I looked back at Lily, then pointed to her mother.

"I'm not going to hurt you. You need to get your mother and hurry. The demonbeasts will be coming back to report to me once they're sure that they've captured or killed enough villagers. See those woods over the hill? You need to go there."

"What makes you think we can trust what you're saying, you monster?! Look at what those beasts have done to our village! It will never be the same again!" Lily's mother screamed at me in a fit of outrage. I was unfazed by the outburst. It was to be expected; why would you trust the very person coordinating the attack that's killing or enslaving everyone you knew and loved?

"We didn't come from the woods. You'll be safer there than you will here. Do you really want to be burned to death or do you want to live a life filled with torture that just so comes with being one of Nightmare's slaves?"

"I don't want to be neither of those things! I don't want Lily to suffer that fate! I could never forgive myself if my daughter were to suffer… She's far too young for what I've heard he does to those slaves…"

"Then just do what I say. Go. They'll be back here any moment! Go!"

Lily's mother nodded at me, took one last glance at the ruins of their village with tears welling up in her eyes, then picked up her daughter and ran as fast as she could toward the woods. A small smile grew across my face. At least those two had a chance for survival. Slim, but a chance nonetheless. My smile grew bigger.

That was the first time I ever defied Nightmare, and I never looked back. He was none the wiser about what happened. Over time, more and more, I loathed the thought of even being sent to one of those goddamned raids to the point I would hide in the hidden rooms of the fortress while the monsters would fight without me. Much of the battles began going into the favor of the Star Warriors and Galaxy Soldiers, and for a time, I even thought that they were winning. More and more monsters were being created, and the peak of the war was starting to quickly kick off.

A new monster was finally revealed to me, about five hundred forty years ago. It was supposed to be Nightmare's heir. Just the thought of a child growing into a more powerful version of their father, it makes my stomach twist just thinking about it.

The plans were revealed to me five hundred forty years ago, but it wasn't until five hundred twenty-eight years ago that the production of the child began. I remember seeing the growth of it when I would check on the scientists to make sure they were doing their job. I was, in truth, more curious about the infant than interested in doing my "job". I watched it grow in the test tube for a very long time. It was like watching a pregnancy, only there was no mother except for the doctor in charge of monitoring the growth of the baby. The infant was revealed to be a boy. Unsurprising. It would be easier to train a boy to be a maniacal killer. They respond to their emotions in a less emotional way than women and little girls.

There was something about this child, this boy that drew me to him. I couldn't quite explain it at the time, only making the excuse that I was curious about him. Perhaps it was the fact that Nightmare invested so many thousands of years in drawing up plans for his heir only to make it look like a smaller, humanoid version of himself. I will admit this: this child was rather adorable, much more so than his father. But, who could say how long this cute, childish look would last once the child was born? Nightmare wanted the body of the infant to stay incubated for two years. The growth of it appeared like it was ready to be born, but it was only the arms that were fully grown, the torso and feet had yet to grow more.

Fate had other plans for this child, however.

If I recall now, it had been almost five hundred twenty-seven years ago. The incubation was halfway complete on Nightmare's heir. The Galaxy Soldier Army decided to attack the base head on. Explosions were destroying and damaging many functions of our home base, trying to destroy it completely. It almost seemed far too early for the soldiers to even consider attacking the base as recklessly as they were doing.

I was in a rush to make it to the laboratory to see if I could protect the tank so the child wouldn't perish. None of the soldiers I encountered were making their way to the lab, so it seemed that my worries were relieved, but only slightly. I managed to make it to the lab, but what I saw surprised me greatly.

The tank had shattered. The boy was on the floor, wet with the green fluid that was once responsible for keeping him alive. His skin was a lavender color, with hair a darker purple. I couldn't see what his eyes looked like; I could only see his back. Nightmare was already in the room with his cape wrapped around himself. He was staring the baby boy down, but I couldn't read his expression. Was it anger? Curiosity? Confusion? His face appeared expressionless, but his gaze appeared softer than usual.

"Show me what you are capable of, little one."

I watched from behind a metal spire. Most demons once born from their tanks could innately show their powers. The young demons are very dangerous even in this state; they have zero control of just how powerful they are. Considering the fact that Nightmare intended for his heir to be even stronger than he was, even going as far stealing some of the power from one of the three goddesses, should he show any of his power, it would be catastrophic.

Five minutes passed since Nightmare gave the order. The child had not shown even a sign of the power he was supposed to have. All he was doing was cooing, staring at his father with a strange curiosity I could not explain. Another five minutes passed, and it seemed Nightmare had lost what little sanity he had left in that very moment. He summoned the same energy whip used to beat that young humanoid boy and struck it across the back of the baby, causing it to screech in pain, crying instantaneously.

"SILENCE! Pathetic little whelp, I should have discarded you the second the tank shattered! Damn those Star Warriors! They ruined everything!"

He slashed across the child's back three more times. Blood was quickly pooling on the floor from where the quivering infant laid. I was surprised he wasn't dead, but my heart was burning. My whole body was burning. This child did not choose to be born, and here it was, being beaten for not even showing its power? My stomach was churning, I could feel the flames in my hair and my whole body burn hotter than ever before. I started moving without thinking, my form going into such a powerful blaze I was setting the room alight with my full power. I leapt out in front of the infant just as Nightmare was about to deal another blow, and slashed at his face, knocking the bizarre shades off of his eyes and burning the entirety of the right side of his face.

Time appeared at a standstill. Nobody moved for what seemed like ages. The burns on Nightmare's face slowly began healing and he turned to face me. Few have seen his true eyes and expected to see the morrow after seeing them. They appeared much like humanoid eyes, but the most striking differences were that his eyes themselves were blacker than the abyss and his irises were a darker red than the blood spilling from the back of the baby I had saved from a final lashing.

"YOU DARE STRIKE AT ME?!" He roared, eyes glowing with unbridled fury that had never before had been seen from him. It must have been why he hid his eyes under the shades— so that nobody could read what he was thinking.

I stood my ground, my own eyes glowing brighter than the yellow suns of the many myriads of planets in the galaxy. Nightmare narrowed his exposed eyes, although I wasn't sure if it was from anger or the brightness of my glow. Probably both.

"You dare attack your son? Look at what you've done! If I delayed, hundreds of years of planning and cultivation to get this right would have been in vain!"

"That weakling is a failure!"

"This so-called 'weakling' is your heir, Nightmare. Look me in my eyes. You know I'm right. Now look at the boy. Even if he doesn't have powers, he can still be used for other things. Do you not consider contingency plans anymore?"

Nightmare growled at me, casting a glare at his bleeding heir. The little one was whimpering, choking out pained sobs that could have easily melted the hearts of even the coldest people. Surprisingly enough, his gaze softened, and a sigh of annoyance escaped him. For a minute there, I almost thought that he was actually showing remorse.

"Take him to the infirmary. I'll tell Luna and Moon to see you. You three will decide who is responsible for the little one."

I nodded in affirmation. My body still glowed with fiery heat, and since I was now calmer than what I was, I returned to my normal state, picked up the child, and ran him to the infirmary.

The next several hours were a blur. All I can remember were the doctors cleaning the wounds. They would leave for a few minutes then go back to the treatment. Eventually, the whole of his back and the top halves of his arms were covered in bandages. I was holding him once everything was finished. The doctors even managed to find a small sleeping tunic for him to wear.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for the little one. The first day of life, and he almost lost it in just an instant. All because of events beyond his control. My sisters decided I was to be the one to watch over him and care for him. At first, I wasn't sure of what to do or what to think. It wasn't easy, keeping an eye on him. If I left the room for even a short second, he would start crying, but it almost always stopped immediately after I start holding him again. All he wanted was comfort. It was nothing bad.

He opened his eyes to me for the first time several hours after the doctors healed his wounds. They were a beautiful crimson that glowed bright, almost like my flames but with a darker glow. He looked into my eyes and smiled. It was small, but I could see what he was really saying with it. He nuzzled his head into my chest, sleeping, hearing my heartbeat race. I couldn't explain what I was feeling that day, but now, I know. It was love. The love of a child. The love of my child. My son.

The events from that day was the final nail in the coffin for my loyalty towards Nightmare. It was no more, no longer existent. I now understood many things very few of my kind would ever even comprehend: the strengths of being mortal. Mortals had family ties, they were unafraid to stand up for what they believed was right, even under impossible odds. They understood innocence, kept their innocence unless it were forcefully stripped away. Look into the eyes of a child. They have the answers, even if it is unspoken.

See the world through the eyes of a child. The view is pure, black and white, with very little gray in between. Consider the paths you choose. No fate is ever truly set in stone, not even that of a demon. I am not evil. Not anymore.