Owari no Seraph / Seraph of the End: Going Bananas

….

Okay, people. This is gettin' unreal. My muse is beating me over the head with these things. Here's yet another prequel / split off / reality divergence / more double talk about the universe's oddest of couples, before they were actually a couple. Can a couple be a couple without coupling? I guess we're about to find out….

…..

I don't own the Owari no Seraph / Seraph of the End franchise, of course.

…..

Chapter 1: Something Yellow This Way Comes…

"...and stop calling me 'Maru'!" shouted the Black Demon, across the living room, his voice clearly audible in the kitchenette where Yuichiro Hyakuya was trying to prepare dinner. "We're alone now, so you don't have to call me by that stupid, demeaning...nickname you've conjured up from the blackest depths of Tartarus just to annoy me! My name's Asuramaru!"

"Okay, okay, already! Just keep your voice down! I'm supposed to be living alone here, you know."

"Oh, how I wish to all the gods you still were," muttered Asuramaru, throwing himself down onto the love seat in the living room, scowling. He picked up the remote off the coffee table in front of him, and clicked on the TV. He rapidly cycled through all the channels. Typical mortal entertainment; just when you needed something good to take your mind off your troubles, all you got was a bunch of damned game shows and talent contests. Like he cared who could sing or dance the best. Though the dancing pig was pretty good.

Asuramaru had been accidentally translated over into the physical realm by means of an ancient scroll Yu had chanced upon during his journeys overseas. That had never been Yu's intention; Yu had intended, at least, in the short run, to tease the demon by sending him "gifts"-merchandise Asuramaru would have no use for…

….at least, that was what he told himself. But lately, he was wondering. Had he, maybe, been using the "teasing" thing as an excuse to remain in contact with Asuramaru? He'd contacted the demon upon being rotated out, on leave, from his old company. He'd stolen the Sword of Asuramaru from its padlocked coffin, and, using the rituals provided in the scroll, once again traversed reality to Asuramaru's realm. Said demon had not responded favourably to his intrusion, to put it mildly. So, he'd decided upon the teasing angle to...what?

Stay in touch with Asuramaru? But why? The demon clearly wanted nothing to do with him. And why should he want anything to do with the grumpy, treacherous demon? Hadn't the demon tried, on more than one occasion, to possess him, to break him, to turn him against his friends, his family? Why would he even want to associate with this foul-tempered little creature?

Well, he'd promised to be the Black Demon's friend. There was that. He liked to think of himself as a man who kept his word, even to demons. And, for some reason, perhaps due to the spell itself, Asuramaru seemed to have no powers over here, aside from some minor dream powers. And being completely foreign to the whole physical world, he essentially needed someone to take care of him. Needless to say, that did nothing to improve his temper, and, quite naturally, he blamed Yu for it all.

But perhaps it is all my fault, thought Yu. I didn't have to contact him again, did I? And did I really expect a warm welcome from him, considering that we didn't exactly part on the best of terms, anyway? So, yeah, maybe some guilt, there, on his part.

Asuramaru wandered into the kitchenette. He wrinkled up his nose at the smell of meat, cooking. "What pile of dog crap are you cooking up for dinner, tonight?"

But Yu had long since become accustomed to his unusual guest's demeanor. "Nobody's forcing you to eat it, you know. But this is an American dish: fried chicken."

Again, another nose wrinkle. "Smells horrible."

"Probably tastes worse," agreed Yu, cheerfully. He'd learned the best way to deal with Asuramaru was just go along to get along, so to speak.

In spite of his words, Asuramaru's mouth was watering. Ever since coming over to the physical world, he'd discovered the wonderful world of taste, especially the taste of food, food other than blood or negative emotions. And the smell of this particular food was intoxicating, but he'd sooner die under torture than let the crazy human see that. "When will it be ready?"

"Five-thirty minutes. Take a seat at the table, and I'll bring it to you. You like white meat or dark meat?"

Again a glare. "You really have to ask?"

Yu sighed, without turning around. "Not really."

But just as he turned to go, Asuramaru's attention was drawn to a small bowl on the table. A yellow curved object protruded from it, catching his attention. "What's this?" He picked it up.

Yu half-turned. "Hm? Oh, that's called a 'banana.' Have one; they're quite tasty." Besides, if it'll keep you quiet, even for a few minutes…

Asuramaru eyed the fruit. Yu glanced out of the corner of his eye, just in time to see the Black Demon about to put the entire banana, peel and all, into his mouth. "No, no, Maru, not like that. You have to peel it first. Here. I'll show you." And he got another banana from the fridge, peeled it, and bit into the soft, white interior. "Like that."

Asuramaru brightened. "Oh! I see. The good part's on the inside."

"Yes."

"Like bone marrow."

"Uh, right."

"And don't call me 'Maru.'" He peeled the banana, just like Yu had showed him, and took a huge bite out of the juicy inside. Then his eyes widened. "HrmmmMMMPH!"

"Huh?" Yu turned back around, to see Maru doubled over, holding his stomach, his eyes almost comically wide, cheeks bulging out, waving the half-eaten banana around. His face was flushed; Yu couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. "Maru?" He rushed over to his side. Too late it occurred to him that Maru might not be able to eat just any old thing he had lying around. He pounded Maru on the back, trying to get his arms around him for a Heimlich, in case Maru had swallowed it down the wrong way. "Maru, spit it out! C'mon, don't try to swallow it! Just—*"

But Maru had already chewed and swallowed the mouthful of banana. He straightened up, eyes still wide and watering, mouth agape. "That...that…

"That was the best thing I've ever tasted in my entire life! Gimme more!"

An hour and a half later: one extremely full Black Demon was sprawled in Yu's recliner, still licking bits of banana from around his lips, a satisfied yet definitely uncomfortable expression on his face. "Oh, gods, I am soooo full…" He patted his tummy through his dress. Yu thought his tummy did appear to be visibly distended.

But now an expression more of misery than satiation passed over Asuramaru's face. "Ohhhh..." he groaned.

"I told you," said Yu, just then coming into the living room from the kitchen, where he'd been cleaning up the remains of a certain Black Demon's Banana Eating Marathon. "I told you you'd be miserable. Maru, when will you learn I know more about these physical bodies than you do? Now look at you. You can barely move." Yu had had to help him get to the recliner.

Maru patted his stomach. It was displaying a definite bulge. "But they were sooo good! How could something that tastes so good make me feel so bad?"

"'Cause you ate too many, that's why! Everything in moderation, Maru. There's nothing wrong with bananas, per se, it's just you can't eat 'em until you're ready to pop and expect to feel good."

"Ohhh…" The Black Demon saw the wisdom in the crazy human's words, but he'd never admit it. In that dress and everything, he almost looks like he's in the first trimester, thought Yu, then turned away before Maru could see the smile on his face. Too late he remembered Maru was an empath. "What—? You find my predicament amusing, human?" He glared at Yu from his place in the recliner. He had his feet spread wide in front of him, trying to take some of the pressure off his stomach. My poor stomach, he thought.

And it's all that crazy human's fault.

I just haven't figured out how yet.

Yuichiro sighed. "No, Maru, I don't find it funny. I don't want you to hurt; you should be able to tell that, now can't you?" Maru just continued to glare at him. He could, in fact, tell that Yu didn't want him to suffer. But where had that trace of amusement come from? "Now, come on. It's nearly time for bed. You need to get out of that dress and into your pajamas. I think it safe to say you won't be able to eat any of this chicken and rice I prepared."

A spasm of pain crossed Maru's face. "I, I don't think I can get up…"

"Here. I'll help you." He came over and began to lever the demon up out of his recliner.

"I...I don't think I can get into my pajamas, either…"

Another sigh. "I'll help you with that, too, Maru."

Asuramaru was too busy being miserable to glare at him.

….

"Ohhhh…" Yu hadn't had more than a few minutes sleep the entire night. The Black Demon had been moaning all night long. ("It's all your fault, human!"

"Me?! How is it my fault?"

"You're the one who stuffed me full of bananas!"

"I told you not to overdo it!"

"But you didn't snatch them out of my grip, now did you? So it's all your fault!"—and so on, throughout the night.)

Finally, he got up, walked around his bed and picked Asuramaru up, putting him in his bed. Pulled out a damp, warm washcloth. Then he sat down beside him on the edge of the bed. "What! What are you doing, human?"

"I'm gonna rub your tummy for you."

"No! Keep your filthy mortal hands to yourself!"

Yu turned away, getting up. "Okay."

"No…" Asuramaru's look turned almost pleading. Almost. He did hurt. "I...okay. Just...I...it...be, be gentle, okay?" Great. My humiliation is now complete.

"Of course, I will be." I'll always be gentle with you, Maru.

Whoa. Where had that thought come from? Well, I have been up most of the night. Sleep deprivation, and all that….

At least, that's what he told himself. Then.

"Here," he said, pushing Maru's pink pajama top up slightly, to where it was just over the bulge in his guest's tummy, and tiredly (but gently) began to rub the belly thus displayed...

…

Later: Asuramaru thought it must be at least five-thirty, and Yu had been at his labors for at least two hours. He was literally out on his feet, sitting on the edge of the bed, still massaging Maru's belly. Every so often, Asuramaru thought he could hear him snore, just a bit. Still, he kept at his self-imposed task, and Asuramaru had to admit, it had helped quite a bit. Part of him (a very small part, true, but a part's a part) felt just the tiniest, teensiest bit of guilt at letting Yu go on and on, ignoring his body's own need for sleep, to continue to rub his tummy with the washcloth, but that, too, like the bananas, had just felt so good. With a start, Asuramaru realized that this was the first time in a thousand years that he'd actually been physically touched. Humans got touched, massaged like this, all the time, and thought nothing of it. For him, though…

...this felt pretty damn good.

Had he...missed this, all these centuries?

But another part of him immediately chimed in: of course he hadn't. One of the reasons he'd become a demon, a spirit being, in the first place was to get away from these dirty, disgusting creatures who befouled the Earth with their loathsome fingers and hands, always putting them where they were most definitely not needed or wanted. The fact that Yuichiro had been permitted to touch him in the first place was simply because he needed it. After all, it was all his fault Asuramaru was here, in the physical realm, going through this horrible ordeal. Of course it was his responsibility. Who else's could it be?

Still, he couldn't have the human passing out on top of him, possibly falling right across him. With his still-distended belly, that would no doubt hurt. He had this horrid mental image of Yu collapsing across him, and the contents of his tummy spraying out both ends. "Okay, Yu, that'll do for now." He glanced down. It still took work to see his feet. He sighed; just remember to watch this, next time, Ashura Tepes, and don't overdo it. That just puts you in his hands again...ugh! He shuddered. To think: he'd let that filthy human actually touch him, all night long! "I'll let you know if I need you again." He halfway pushed Yu up off him, as the human was on the very cusp of falling into a coma. "C'mon, Yu. Wake up."

"'m...I'm awake, Maru." He got up and staggered over to his armoire, where he kept his sleep pants, staggered into the bathroom to change. When he came out, he seemed a little more awake. "Good thing today's an off day," he said, yawning. "I can sleep in. How are you feeling?" He sat down on the edge of the bed by Asuramaru, who turned his usual glare on him. But this time, he turned his glare away. "Better," he said, in a low voice that Yu could barely hear. "Maybe I can make it to my futon…" He began to struggle to get up.

Yu put up his hand to stop him. "No, Maru. You keep the bed for tonight. You can get up and back into it easier. I'll swap out with you for tonight." And he turned to Asuramaru's futon.

"Oh, no, you don't! I don't want your filthy human germs all over my nice, clean futon!"

Yu sighed. "Okay. I'll sleep on the couch in the living room."

"That thing's so small, a cockroach couldn't sleep in it. Come to think of it, that's probably the only reason it's not overloaded with 'em."

"I've slept in worse places. Think you can sleep, now?"

"Maybe," grumbled the Black Demon. He snuggled down into Yuichiro's bed while Yu got a blanket and two pillows. It amused him to think of Yu having to scrunch down into that tiny sofa, probably twisting and groaning all night long. He, on the other hand…

He snuggled even deeper into his borrowed bed. It was very soft. And, hm… He could smell Yu's scent on the pillow. It was an oddly soothing scent, one he found to his liking. Now, that's just simply ridiculous, he told himself. Go to sleep, Ashura Tepes. Things'll be different in the morning.

…

Things weren't different in the morning.

His belly was still distended. And he awoke craving a banana.

Still struggling with his overstretched tummy, he managed to crawl out of the bed and waddled his way into the kitchen. But instead of a banana in the fruit bowl, there was a sign: Ah ah ah!

Damn him!

To be continued…