Pokemon is owned by Satoshi Tajiri, Ken Sugimori, Nintendo, and Game Freak, this fanfiction is owned by me.
I hear him.
I can recognise instantly when my brother's having a panic attack. He'll lock himself away in his room, desperate to hide his emotions from me, to deny them to himself. More than anything, more than anyone, he hates having these attacks. Paul, the trainer known for his cold, calculating battle strategy, his brute strength, and his stoic exterior hates being reduced to a terrified, sobbing mess in the face of anxiety.
He's struggled with that and low self-esteem for most of his life. But I guess that's what happens when you grow up with parents like ours. No matter what the two of us did, it was never good enough. If we came home with a single B on our school reports, we were stupid. If we defeated another trainer, but some of our pokemon fainted, we were terrible, weak trainers. There was no winning over our parents.
It was only last year that I managed to scrape together enough money to get us our own house. But it was too late, Paul and I were both reeling from the damage they did, and though I was hurting too, I had to be there for Paul. Who does he have left to turn to, if he doesn't have his big brother?
So for now, I go to Paul's room. I find him hyperventilating, crying uncontrollably, and balled up on his bed. I pick him up gently and let him bury his face in my chest. I hold him and let him cry himself hoarse out while I whisper sweet nothings like it's alright and I'm here now. Because I'm his big brother. I can't make his demons go away, but I can at least be there to hold him when his anxiety takes over…
I hoped to finish this on Friday, but then I went and had a panic attack! Weird, huh? Anyways, thanks to all who gave me stellar reviews on my previous story, and I'll see y'all later!
Kitty x