I don't own Night World or Don't Forget by Demi Lovato. Don't hate me for this fic. Please. :'(
Jez and Morgead: Remembering
There are moments in which no words can be spoken.
Morgead... I thought.
My anxious face was reflected in the window. There was probably no point of me looking outside; the night was so dark. The darkest I'd ever seen it. Of course, it was the first time that I'd spent a night in a lonely cottage in the middle of the desert. And the reason I was staying by a window that was black as ebony?
My Soulmate. Morgead.
He and Thierry had gone hunting. I was left anxiously waiting. There was no point to be anxious. Morgead was well capable of taking care of himself.
I bit my lip, and my fingers went automatically to the ring on my left hand, twisting it. My gaze drifted down to the ring, and I smiled.
Jez Blackthorn.
That was going to be my name in a few months.
I touched the single diamond, watching it glisten in the little light that there was. My eyes closed, and I brought the ring to my lips.
I made my way unconsciously to Morgead's room and sat on his bed, picking up his pillow and leaning my face in it. His scent, a soft mixture between cinnamon, apple and moonlight, was strong on the pillow. I breathed it in, letting it calm me. I moved my head to the side, allowing myself to breathe, and spied something on the space where Morgead's pillow had been.
A photo.
I picked it up a carefully and looked at it. It was a picture of the two of us. His arm was around my shoulders and mine was tight around his waist. We were both laughing. I remembered the day this had been taken. It had been several months ago, when we'd gone on a holiday. It had just been us two. I closed my eyes, letting the perfect memories play out.
"Jez!" a voice called. Hannah. "They're here!"
I hastily put the photo down and the pillow on top of it. I sprinted down the rickety steps of the stairway and came downstairs just in time to see Hannah open the door, revealing one figure.
Thierry.
I frowned and walked forwards. Thierry hugged Hannah and kissed her as I came up to the door.
"Jez..." I heard Thierry say.
I turned round, fear suddenly taking hold.
"Where is he?" I heard myself saying. My voice sounded desperate. Strange, as I felt numb inside.
Thierry's eyes were pitying. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to hear the words.
"Jez, I'm so sorry. Morgead..." he took a deep breath.
My hands started shaking.
"He's dead."
I watched him in disbelief as Hannah gasped. It wasn't just my hands that were shaking now, it was my entire body.
I heard, from afar, Hannah whispering the words, "Jez... oh, no. I'm sorry."
I didn't pay any attention. My body collapsed against the wall and I slid down it, landing on the floor. I didn't notice that tears weren't pouring down my face, as they probably should have. I was weeping inside. My heart was wrenching itself into a million tiny pieces, and all of them went to the man I loved.
A last, desperate burst of energy came. I yanked on the silver cord, fighting to prove Thierry wrong. I needed to prove him wrong.
There was no answer.
There are moments in which no words can be spoken.
~ * ~ * ~
The next few days were the hardest. It was true, what people said about death. Once they die, you look for them, even where they possibly could not be.
I was standing, motionless, in the shower. The water was cold, but I hardly noticed. I closed my eyes and dropped my head forwards. I could almost imagine Morgead next to me, his arms around me. I could feel his warmth and his lips pressing against my neck. I moved my head automatically to the side.
I opened my eyes and turned around, looking over my shoulder, my eyes yearning to find his emerald eyes.
There was no-one there. My heart was empty; the silver chord wasn't attached to anything.
I closed my eyes again and raised my face to the cold water spurting from the shower. My tears, that I hadn't noticed had come, mixed with the water.
~ * ~ * ~
It had been seven-hundred and thirty days exactly since I'd lost him.
Seven-hundred and thirty days of not seeing his smile. Seven-hundred and thirty days of crying myself to sleep every night. Seven-hundred and thirty days of desperately trying to hold onto my sanity. Seven-hundred and thirty days of thinking about a million different 'if only...'s.
But the truth was that no matter how many times I whispered to myself 'If only I'd gone with him,' or 'Why couldn't have I died with him?' he was lost.
Nothing could ever change that.
~ * ~ * ~
I was slowly making my bed, trying to avoid looking in the mirror.
Why? Because whenever I did, I was reminded of what had happened. I was no longer fierce and beautiful; I was wasted. My eyes had purple shadows under them. I hardly bothered to brush my hair, so it stood out like a cloud. I was thin, and my cheekbones stuck out, as if they were fighting to break free from the skin.
I bent down to put the pillow in place, and a chain swung free from where it was usually put, behind my shirt.
I held the object that was attached to the chain and twisted to sit on my bed, staring at it.
My engagement ring.
The diamond was glinting, and the slim, white gold band reflected some of the light.
I should be Jez Blackthorn by now, I thought to myself.
The hole where my heart used to be ached and throbbed painfully. The sobs tried to claw their way up my throat, fighting to burst free. I held them back stubbornly and got up slowly. I found myself moving forwards unconsciously, as if it were a dream. My hand reached forwards to open the door, and my feet carried me to a room that terrified me.
Morgead's room.
I opened the door.
This room had been left untouched. Thierry and Hannah had guessed that I would clean it out when I could cope with it. Dust was covering everything, his books, his bedside table, and the clothes that he had left lying on the floor. I was moving towards his bed. I collapsed onto it. My hands were shaking, and I could barely breathe around the lump in my throat.
Why had I come here? Did I want to torture myself?
That seemed a logical explanation. Torturing myself for not being with him when he needed me the most.
It was the least I deserved.
I picked up the pillow and buried my face into it again, smelling the faint cinnamon, apple and moonlight scent that still remained. A sudden pain hit me, where my heart should have been. It shocked me with its intensity.
I moaned into the pillow.
"I should have been there. He must have been so scared..." I whispered to myself. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
I moaned again and the sobs that had tried to break free before came back.
I didn't bother fighting them.
I cried into his pillow, clutching it desperately, as if it were a lifeline, an anchor. It was. It was an anchor to my sanity. I had nothing left to tie me down anymore. I could feel that there was no-one on the other side of the silver chord.
I let my hand drift to the side, picking up the picture that I'd known would be there. Not that I needed it; I could see every detail. I brought it closer and turned my head to the side so that I could look at it. I focussed on Morgead's handsome, perfect face. His chiselled high cheekbones, his perfect, smiling lips, the shock of untidy black hair falling over his forehead...
And finally, his emerald eyes, so beautiful, so perfect. Shining with such stunning happiness.
I looked at the dusty clock, realised with a shock that it still worked, and suddenly realised how tired I was. I didn't move from the room, though. I got under the covers of Morgead's bed and put the photo next to my head. I was the happiest I'd been in two years.
Surrounded by his scent, I fell into a deep sleep. The first time I'd slept properly in seven-hundred and thirty days.
~ * ~ * ~
I woke up slowly. I was still in Morgead's room, clutching the photo. I felt the most rested in what seemed like decades.
I sat up and looked around.
It still hurt me to be in here, as it always would, but I could look around without bursting into tears. I hoped this would be the start of getting better, being able to focus on other things.
First things first, I had to sort myself out. I pushed my hair back and got up, keeping hold of the photo. I felt curiously light, almost empty. I'd been carrying the sorrow everywhere for so long. I made my way back to my own room to get my clothes. My reflection shocked me. Instead of the pallid, wasted girl that I would have seen only yesterday, I saw my old reflection.
Well, almost the same. I was still skinnier than before, and my expression was one of impossible sadness, but my eyes were bright. My skin was no longer the blank white it had been before; it had a shine to it again.
I looked away and went into the shower. I washed my hair, trying to get it to how it had been, before. When I was done I put some makeup on, for the first time in two years. When I'd finished, it was almost as if, physically, the past two years had never happened.
I walked downstairs slowly. Hannah and Thierry were at the table, talking softly.
"Oh, hey, Jez," Hannah said. Her eyes were slightly wider than usual as she took in my appearance.
I forced myself to smile and greeted them both. I could feel their confusion in the air, a tangible weight. They said nothing more as I got some cereal and poured it into a bowl. I didn't bother with the milk.
Hannah's obvious astonishment was clear on her face as she watched me. She put her head to one side.
"You feeling alright?"
I looked at her and faked being surprised. "'Course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
Her eyes narrowed and she turned away. I finished the bowl of cereal. The room was silent.
My gaze kept on being drawn to the window. I hadn't been outside in the past two months, but I had a longing to go out. The sun was already high in the sky, and the sky was a deep blue.
"I'm going to go outside for a bit," I said to Hannah and Thierry.
Thierry frowned and looked as though he was about to argue, but one look from Hannah stopped him. He smiled gently. "OK. Be careful."
I nodded and put the bowl in the dish-washer, then walked out the door.
It was warm, and the hard, cracked ground was searing hot through my shoes when I stepped on it. The sky was immense, white-blue as it met the golden sand in the horizon and deep, almost sapphire blue above me. The sun was white.
As soon as I stepped out of the shade the small wooden cottage created, a hot wind hit me like a wall. I narrowed my eyes against it and kept on walking. I had no idea why I was out in the searing hot desert, but I had an urge to just walk.
I was going in a mostly easterly direction, but turning whenever my feet wanted me to. I was getting used to the heat, and after about an hour I turned back and realised that the cottage had almost disappeared over the horizon.
I started jogging, a long-strided lope that covered a lot of ground. I felt myself relaxing, and when I closed my eyes and ignored the heat, I could almost imagine being back in the forest in San Francisco. I could almost hear Morgead...
Tears leaked out behind my closed eyelids. I opened them again, forcing my legs to go faster. I was sprinting. Suddenly, I skidded to a stop, sending sand everywhere.
A black shadow was in front of me. It was about the size and shape of a man. I thought, stupidly, that he must be absolutely roasting in the black robes. I was thinking about that instead of defending myself as he raised a wooden club and hit it hard against the side of my head. I felt myself hit the hot ground before I sank down into darkness.
~ * ~ * ~
A jerking woke me up. I was being tossed about and I could feel a slight tremor on the ground that I was laying on.
I tried to force myself to open my eyes, and a pain flashed through my head. I moaned and forced myself to sit up. I squinted through my fingers, then dropped my hand and looked around. Déjà vu was stifling at this point.
I groaned. It was a truck, moving quite quickly. The only difference from last time was that Claire, Hugh and... Morgead weren't here.
I sighed and struggled onto my knees, trying to fight the feeling that I was about to faint. I ran my hands along the sides of the truck, but, also like the last time, it was stripped.
I gave up after a while and leant against the side of the truck. The déjà vu was getting stronger and stronger...
The thought died away as I remembered what I'd discovered that day. Not just that I loved Morgead, but that I was a Wild Power. Power in the blood...
I bit my lip, hard enough to draw blood. I lifted my hand, palm facing forwards, and called upon the blue fire to help me.
Nothing happened.
I frowned and tried harder, biting my lip again. I thought I felt a bit of heat, but then it stopped.
What was happening? Why wasn't my Power working?
Suddenly, the van skidded to a stop. My shoulder slammed against the side of the van and pain exploded in my shoulder as a piece of jagged metal dug into it, deep enough to draw blood.
The door opened, letting in blindingly bright sunlight. I held up a hand and let my eyes adjust.
"In case you're wondering, your Power isn't working. You can't vaporise me," a low voice said.
I focussed on the man. It seemed like the same one who'd attacked me, even wearing the same cloak. The hood was down, and I could see that his hair was a dirty blond, and his eyes a washed-out greenish blue. He stood to the side and let me see that there were about five gigantic men, all shapeshifters. They had either guns or wooden spears in their hands. I ignored them.
"Why isn't it working?" I said. I was pleased when my voice stayed steady. I watched the man with what I hoped was an unreadable expression. He raised his overly-heavy eyebrows.
"The best Witches in Circle Midnight, and incidentally, the best in the world, have put some restraints on you. You won't be able to use the Blue Fire until the Witch who cast the spell on you takes it off."
I tried to keep my expression impassive, but inside I was panicking.
What the hell am I going to do now? I thought desperately. For over three years, I'd depended on having the Blue Fire if I ever got into trouble. How would I cope without it?
The man nodded to a couple of the thugs and they came to me, yanked me roughly to my feet and pushed me forwards to the open door. I glared at them and then walked calmly forwards, just out of their reach. One of them growled threateningly, but I didn't pay attention to them. I looked at the man. He didn't seem as much of an idiot.
"Why did you take my Power?" I said.
He sighed and started walking. I followed him. "I suppose you deserve an explanation. First things first, though. My name is Sumac Redfern. Although, I would have thought that the answer to that question would be obvious. I don't want to be roasted." He chuckled. "We're going that direction," he said, gesturing north to a small house.
We were still in the desert. It seemed to be late afternoon.
"You shouldn't have left, Jezebel. You would have been safe had you stayed with Circle Daybreak."
He took hold of my arm and smiled savagely. I tensed and felt my eyes widen with fear. His smiled suddenly switched from savage to pleasant in a heartbeat. I shivered.
We came to the house after ten minutes of walking silently. Sumac opened the door and ushered me in. Conscious of the thugs still behind me, I got in without arguing. To be honest, I wouldn't have wanted to. I could feel the air conditioning from inside. It was soothing after the blaring heat of the desert.
One of the thugs came up close behind me and grabbed hold of my arm. I turned round to glare at him and tried to pull my arm away. He didn't let me.
"Holding my arm like that really isn't..." my voice died away. I stopped dead, my eyes widening.
The reason? I'd just been pushed into a room and turned my head back to the front to make sure I didn't walk into something and embarrass myself, and looked right into the most beautiful eyes in the entire world.
Morgead was here.
He was alive!
"Morgead..." I whispered. I kept on staring at him, my eyes hungrily remembering his every feature. That photo under his pillow did him no justice.
I could feel the hard, metal ring under my shirt. It suddenly felt like it weighed a hundred pounds.
I started walking towards him, but froze again, uncertain.
He was staring at me with green eyes, cold as glaciers. He didn't look at me with the soft, loving expression he'd looked at me with before. He didn't show any recognition, just a slight raising of one eyebrow. His mouth was hard.
"Could we just get this over and done with? I have other things to do," Morgead said.
His voice was beautiful, but stark and filled with boredom. He wasn't looking at me, but at Sumac, who was standing next to me.
"Morgead, it's me," I said desperately. I started for him again, but one look from him froze me.
He raised his eyebrows and looked at me as if I was... nothing more than an annoying stranger.
I realised now what was on the other side of the silver chord. Not nothing, but indifference.
I turned to Sumac. "What have you done to him?" I said angrily.
His expression was carefully confused, but his mental voice resounded in my head.
We have talented Witches and Vampires here. We wiped away every single memory of you, and replaced it with others that make him a true vampire.
Dread filled me. Tears pricked me eyes, but I fought them stubbornly, not wanting to seem weak in front of this monster.
"You... you...!" I couldn't keep on talking. Instead, I jumped for him, my hands in claws. Something stopped me from behind. I growled and span, hitting out at one of the thugs. My fist connected with his face, but someone came up behind me, pinning my arms against my sides. I span round and froze again.
It was Morgead.
"Stop that. Now," he said. His eyes were blazing like green fire.
I stopped and just looked at him, trying to find some recognition in those beautiful, emerald green eyes. I breathed in the apple-cinnamon-and-moonlight scent of him.
He frowned and looked at me closer. One of his hands lifted from my arm to touch my cheek and his eyes were lighting up, gentleness in them again.
Yes, I thought.
A yell suddenly came from next to me, and in the instant before I span round, I saw that the gentleness had gone from Morgead's eyes.
Sumac had come up and was brandishing an uneven wooden stake with jagged lines and splinters erupting from everywhere. He didn't seem like a talented fighter. He went straight for it, stake pointing towards my chest.
I twisted to the side, yanking Morgead with me. He moved just enough to the side to not be staked. He tried to hold me back as I shot next to Sumac, but missed me. I wrenched the stake from his hands, and bit my lip as splinters dug into my hands. Without thinking, I shoved the stake into Sumac's midsection.
He screamed and dropped to the floor. I was breathing quickly, in gasps.
I turned back to Morgead and realised that the thugs must have scattered, too scared to stay.
And that Morgead's eyes were filled with hate as he watched the man next to me gasp his final breaths.
"You called him a monster. You're the true monster here."
My mouth opened, but I didn't say anything.
"There was no point killing him."
"Morgead... he was about to kill me," I said.
"And what makes you think that I care about that?" Morgead said coldly.
Hate was in every expression, every word, every line of his body.
My Soulmate hated me.
"Morgead... please... What do you remember?" I said. I walked closer to him and raised my hand to touch his cheek.
He slapped it away harshly and bared his teeth at me, which were lengthening into fangs. "Don't touch me, you filthy vermin."
Pain lashed through my body. My heart, which had just been about to fix, was wrenching itself apart again. It was worse than the last time. I knew last time that Morgead wouldn't have gone if he had a choice.
Morgead wrenched the stake from my grasp, and I gasped as splinters ripped through my skin. He moved closer to me again, and again his expression was confused. As if he was looking at someone he knew, but didn't know where from.
"Morgead..." I whispered. I pulled on the chain around my neck, lifting the ring from behind my shirt and snapping it off. I handed it to Morgead and his fingers automatically closed over it. He looked at it, seeming more and more confused.
"What is this?" he said. His fingers tightened on the ring.
I stepped forwards, closer. He didn't try to hold me back. "You gave it to me. Before you left. I thought you'd died..." I shivered slightly, but kept looking into his eyes.
They were even more confused. They searched mine.
"Morgead..." I lifted my hand to his face...
And my universe exploded in pain.
My breath started coming quicker as I collapsed back, falling on the ground. I looked down and saw the stake that Morgead had ripped from my hands was buried in the middle of my chest. One of the splinters had just gone into my heart; I could feel it.
There was no hope. The world was fading so much quicker than it had last time. I looked up at Morgead, who was just about to turn away, the ring still in his hand.
At least he's alive. That's better than anything...
My eyes closed. I could feel myself detaching from my body. The pain was numbing, replaced by a comfortable warmth.
I heard a gasp, and felt my head being lifted from the floor.
"Oh, Goddess. Please, no," I heard someone say. Their voice was broken, and filled with a pain that surpassed any of the pain I'd felt.
I forced my eyes to open and realised that Morgead was the one holding me. He was crying. I lifted a hand to brush his tears away.
"Morgead...?" I whispered. He looked at me.
Almost everything was playing out as it had before. Everything was starting to go silvery and golden, and Morgead was shining with a beautiful light. I watched him in awe. Had he ever really belonged to me? He was so beautiful, so perfect...
"Jez, don't... don't leave me," he whispered brokenly.
He pulled hard on the silver chord, but it didn't do anything. I could still feel myself distancing from the world.
"I love you," I whispered back. Try as I might, I knew I could never come back. I could never show him how much I truly loved him.
My eyes were closing again. It was too much to keep them open. The last thing I felt was Morgead's arms, tight around me. The last thing I smelt was his apple-cinnamon-and-moonlight scent. And the last thing I heard...
"I remember."
~ * ~ * ~
Did you forget Did you regret But somewhere we went wrong So now I guess We had it all But somewhere we went wrong Somewhere we went wrong And at last But somewhere we went wrong
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget
I won't forget us
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About us
Don't Forget by Demi Lovato.
The beginning was sad enough, but I'm not so sure about the ending... Doesn't seem as good as it did in my head. It's always like that. :(
By the way, my personal ending is that Jez dies (I do love her and Morgead, but I'm seriously nasty to them. All my good story ideas are sad ones!), but you can make up whichever ending you want :) Once again, please don't hate me for this fic :) Oh, and review with your personal endings, especially if they turn out to be funny ;)
Sheesh, gotalotta smilies (and saddies^_^) :) AND ANOTHER!!! O_o - My personal fave of any smilie! :)