Always Have, Always Will
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. DX
"Botan?"
"Eh? Kurama…"
They just stood there; emerald met amethyst for the first time since long years ago and neither thought they would meet each other again.
He didn't think he'd see her again.
How long has it been?
Four? Five years? It seemed so long since he'd last seen her.
But now, she was here. Standing right in front of him, feet attached to the same place his were. The same place they'd spend countless times together; the park.
Now that he looked at her, he couldn't help but notice she was still as beautiful as ever, if not, even more. Her now longer sky blue hair was braided, and her jewel like purple eyes were as big as they had always been. Her pearl white skin, pink rosy lips, and long eyelashes… Everything seemed the same.
But it wasn't.
There was something different about her.
She was taller now.
Last time he saw her, when they were still in high school, she always stood shorter than him, only reaching his shoulders. And now, even if she was still shorter than him, Kurama realized she was now reaching his neck. For a moment, he wasn't sure if he was used to seeing her this tall. For as long as he could remember, she had always been shorter than she was now.
But then he was reminded that people change over time. Their height; and everything.
But somehow, she was the same as ever.
Nothing much except her height was different in her appearance.
She was the same; the most beautiful girl in town – as he would always call her years ago. He knew that description didn't fit her; she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Nothing and no one else could compare to her.
She was the same beautiful girl he had fallen in love with those five years ago.
He still was in love with her.
He hadn't loved her in the first place, when they first met. He never intended to love someone like her, all of people. Yes, he'd never seen someone as attractive as her in his life, and yet, they were complete opposites.
Like the moon and the sun.
He was calm, she was panicky. He was cautious, she was clumsy. He never talked much, she was too talkative. He didn't have a lot of close friends, she had millions of them.
They were complete opposites.
But perhaps that was what drawn him closer to her anyway.
She light him up; Botan was the one who light up everything in his life to him. That cheerfulness, that big, jovial smile he'd always see on her face – nearly everything about her was too bright for him.
They'd been together before. He didn't love her then; no, he didn't think he would. It had all been a dare, a stupid dare made by his friends. He was to go out with her, make her fall for him – that was the dare he was supposed to do. Everyone in school knew Botan was a hard girl to get, and that was probably why his friends would dare him such a thing. That he was Shuichi Minamino, aka Kurama, who was the most popular guy in school. If he couldn't make her fall in love, who else could?
It was all just a game.
But, as more time passed, the more he got to know her. He knew she loved the color blue, that basically everything she had was blue. He knew she loved watching clouds, stars, anything beautiful. He knew she loved eating ice cream; that she'd always get excited everytime an ice cream parlor would pass by. He knew everything about her; from her liking to sew puppets of the people she knew, to her habit of biting her lower lip if she was hiding something. But most importantly, he knew that smile of hers was just a façade, a mask she'd cleverly put on everytime; of course he had always known that, but he would've never thought that façade would fall apart only when she was with him. He knew her deepest secrets, her problems. Everything that troubled her, she told him.
She trusted him.
She loved him.
To everyone else, she was a puzzle, but to him, she was a book he could always read. He'd always figure her out.
He was the only person who could.
And without even knowing how, when or where, he felled for her. Hook, line and sinker. He was hooked. Entranced. Charmed by the girl he initially thought was just a friend.
Kurama had never been in love; never thought he would. Especially not with her.
But he was.
He still was.
She didn't know that.
When everything fell apart, when she finally found out that he was just dared to go out with her; that was the darkest times of his life. She had gone to him, crying and yelling at him. She threw things at him; he couldn't blame her. And after all that was done with, she finally calmed down; eyes red with tears and face equally as red with anger. Asking him what he was intended to do.
"Were you supposed to date me, and fuck me? Was that it? Was this just some stupid bet you and your goddamn friends made? Was I supposed to sleep with you, Kurama?!"
He could still remember her exact words. He didn't know why Botan would even ask him such things, but he figured she was just so furious at him and she had every right to be. He hadn't answer her then; shocked by her words. But such a thing… he would never do it. He would never touch her. He loved her, but everytime he was with her, the guilt creeping up his skin was always too great to bear, he couldn't think of touching her. He didn't even dare to kiss her, only forced to when she cried on their fifth date at the park when he wouldn't. So he had kissed her, as he couldn't stand seeing her cry, especially when it was because of him.
She had probably been crying because she assumed he didn't want to. He did, he wanted to touch her, to make everything about her his, but he couldn't.
Kurama just couldn't.
The night they broke up, she cried again. Even harder then. The tears streaming down her face so uncontrollably that he had been afraid that she wouldn't stop.
When she left him, he had punched the wall, and before he knew it, he himself was crying, too. The hot liquid tasted salty as it entered his lips, but he didn't care. He was just so angry at himself for making her cry, and sad that his heart ached that she was no longer his. He knew things would mess up eventually; that she would find out anyway, and no doubt leave him – he was even prepared for it to happen, certain that she should be with someone else that was better than him. But probably not as prepared as he thought he was, as the pain was far too painful for him to bear, and he knew that his heart wanted her back.
That night, he put photos of Botan, and the two of them together, in frames… and hung them on the wall of his room, put them on his desk… or wherever else he could in his room. He wanted memories of them together to remain; he was sure he could never talk to her again, and that she surely hated him. These photos were all what was left of their relationship.
Yusuke had gone to his house, apologizing for what happened, saying something about how he accidentally blurted out the whole thing to Keiko. No doubt the brunette was the one who told Botan of the dare. His friends – Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei – the three of them knew how much the redhead had came to love her, and they had even planned on letting the dare be a secret they take to their graves, if it meant not messing up what he and Botan had.
But she was supposed to know; going to anyway. Kurama had told Yusuke that it was okay; that things were better off this way even if he was heartbroken. He couldn't think of what his heart wanted; not when Botan was more hurt than he was, and that she deserved to be happy. And he didn't make her happy.
Yusuke had said something about how he told Keiko she shouldn't have went and done that, but Kurama had dismissed him, saying that his friend's girlfriend only did what she thought she should be doing for her best friend and Kurama could never blame her for that.
He went to school, but he didn't see Botan.
For weeks, there had been no signs of her.
His friends told him she didn't want to see him, and that she was at her house. Keiko even went and said that when she went to Botan's house, the girl was curled up in her blanket, and everything in her room was messy; anything with glass broke, the whole place seemed like a tornado hit it. The brunette had said she was sorry, but Kurama just told her what he told Yusuke.
After what seemed like a long time, she finally came back to school. Everyone had missed her, but no one missed her as much as he did. But, as he had expected, she avoided him. She didn't even look at him. It was painful, but Kurama had told himself to bear with it. It was what he expected she'd do anyway.
Two months passed, then it became three… and that was when he got a letter from a university abroad which wrote he was accepted. Kurama had been so overjoyed he told everyone about it, and they all congratulated him. When it finally came; his last day at the town, his mother had hugged him, kissed every inch of his face she could, and said that she'd missed him, and that she was proud of him.
Then his friends came. It was all hugs and tears and 'I'll miss you's; it was the saddest day of his life to be apart with all the only people he had known and cared for in his entire life. But what made it even sadder was the fact that Botan wasn't there. She was the one he hoped would be there, but Kurama figured as much as he didn't even tell her about him going abroad. Though there was something in his heart that held hope she would be there; that maybe somehow she would find out he was going away. But it was merely his childish thoughts.
Or so he thought.
When he went into the airplane, he had distantly caught the sound of her voice calling his name before the door finally closed.
He didn't manage to tell her how much he loved her.
He didn't see her broke into tears.
Ever since that day, he lived his life normally, at least as normally as he could. She was still in his mind, where she would always be. Everyone he knew at the university kept trying to set him up with some hot chick, but he declined every offer as politely as he could, all the while inwardly laughing the idea off as something foolish.
No one knew his heart already belonged to someone.
Not one soul.
Four years became five… and he finally decided to visit this town again. He'd come every once in a while when it was during the holidays, and everytime, he thought he'd see Botan again. But he never did. Keiko told him she moved away when her father got a job outside of town, a few months after he went on his way out of Japan. Of course, he had asked her if Botan hadn't come back to the town, and Keiko had answered by saying that she visited a lot of times, but never during the holidays as all of them knew that during those times she would have to visit her grandmother.
He hadn't thought he'd ever get to see her.
Not until now.
For a moment, Kurama wasn't sure what to do. He thought of talking to her, but then, was she still angry at him? At the thought, he turned his back on her on instincts, intent on leaving the park.
But when a hand grabbed his, the touch so familiar to him, he stopped on his tracks. Turning around with a surprised look on his face, he wasn't able to say anything when two hands and a head came to rest on his chest. It took him only a mere fraction of a second to realize she was crying.
"Bo—"
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" the girl's voice cracked, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably against his black turtleneck shirt.
He could feel wet, warm tears against his clothed chest, and he wondered why she was apologizing.
Kurama was afraid to do it, especially after all these years, but he did.
His arms enveloped her in a hug, slowly pulling her closer to him. He felt her body stiffened, and he was about to let go; assuming she wasn't comfortable but was stopped when he felt her grip his shirt in her two fists, burying her head deeper into his chest – if that was even possible.
He was so surprised he couldn't even move a muscle.
"I'm so sorry…" she said again.
And with that, Kurama snapped back into reality, and he brought a hand to her face, lifting her chin with his finger, tilting her head up to meet his gaze. And there it was, the face he'd seen five years ago; those tears trailing down her pink, round cheeks uncontrollably.
He didn't know why he did it, maybe it was to make her stop crying, but he did;
he kissed her.
His lips coming in contact with those lips he had missed so much over the years. The only lips he'd ever kissed.
Strawberry filled his taste buds, and he was instantly reminded of the time she had cried when he didn't kiss her, and how he had kissed her to stop her tears five years ago.
And now it was happening again, at the same exact place he'd first kissed her.
History was repeating itself.
Kurama didn't know why, but Botan kissed him back, if not, deepening the kiss. He had thought she would push him away, which was why he was beginning to wonder if this was a dream. But there was her scent, that vanilla scent… and he was sure that this was really happening. This was reality,
and he was kissing her again.
After what seemed like ages, they finally broke off the kiss.
And Kurama took in her appearance. Cheeks red in embarrassment, eyes slightly half-lidded, and lips bruised by his kiss… she was absolutely beautiful.
"S-sorry… I did that, to make you—" A finger came to rest on his lips, immediately shutting him up.
"I missed you," her words came out in a mere whisper, and he wasn't sure if he actually heard it. As if fate was trying to make him believe that those words were real, he heard it again when her hands pulled his face down closer to hers and warm lips came in contact with his own again, a mere kiss quickly broken off as it was brief, and came that whisper again, only a little louder this time, "Oh God, Kurama… I missed you. I missed you… so, so much…"
"Botan… What—"
"Yusuke told me before… before you gone away… that you truly did love me, but I didn't want to believe him. I thought he was pulling my leg, but then… then I went into your room, and I saw pictures of me, of us… and I—I wanted to tell you how sorry I am, but it was too late, you were already gone… I'm so sorry… I hurt you…" she cried again, hiccupping now and then.
As if finally understanding why she had been saying she was sorry, Kurama pulled her to him, whispering soothing words into her ear,
"No, no… Shh, stop crying, darling… that wasn't your fault. I-It was my fault… I should be the one saying I'm sorry… I hurt you more than you'd ever hurt me… I hope you can forgive me, Botan."
With that, he pulled away; emerald locking with teary amethyst, as a finger wiped her tears away. "Please stop crying… you're the girl I love so much, I can't stand seeing you like this…"
Fortunately for him, she finally stopped. Wiping away the tears in her eyes, Botan bit her lip, telling herself not to cry again as she continued where she left off,
"When I went to look inside your room, I found that letter from the university, but I was too late because you were already supposed to leave that day and I ran as quickly as I could to the airplane, but you already left… and when dad got a job outside of town, I thought I'd never see you again… and I was walking at this park; I just wanted to remember the times we were together here… I'm just so glad we meet again, I couldn't help but cry… I-I'm sorry for that…"
A laugh erupted from his throat, touching his eyes with mirth and love for this girl in front of him as he said in a gentle and loving voice, "Silly girl, don't apologize for crying. You don't need to apologize for anything."
Pink tinted her cheeks, and she averted her eyes to her feet, now embarrassed to meet his gaze as she nodded her head once. "O-okay… and I already forgive you. I already did, five years ago."
Kurama smiled, more than slightly glad to hear her words. Relief overcame him, and a heavy weight was lifted from his heart. He now felt it was light as a feather. Cupping Botan's cheek in one hand, and grabbing her hand in the other, Kurama planted a kiss on her forehead.
When she felt something touch her cheek, Botan lifted her head, and her heart instantly swelled with love and happiness when the redhead kissed her forehead. The small, simple touch was enough to make her blush.
Yes, this was her Kurama. Sweet, loving, and gentle Kurama. How she missed him. How could she hate him before? How could she leave him years ago? How could anyone leave this wonderful man?
"I love you, Botan."
And that was it, she couldn't help the tears of happiness that came flowing down her cheeks when those three words left his lips. Those three words she had been dying to hear ever since she'd last seen him.
"Kurama… Oh, Kurama… I love you, too…" she sobbed.
The redhead didn't know why she was crying. Was she that happy to see him? The thought made him swell with pride, and made him feel somewhat giddy inside. His lips turned upwards into a smile as he wiped her tears again. "Now, didn't I tell you not to cry?" It wasn't a question, both of them knew it, but she still answered;
"S-sorry… I'm just so happy…" She sniffed, before smiling that smile he hadn't seen for too long.
He laughed. "Didn't I also tell you to stop apologizing?" he joked, flicking her forehead with his middle finger and thumb.
She made a sound when he flicked her forehead, and rubbed the spot a bit, her mouth forming into a small pout. "Geez, Kurama…! How many times have I told you I don't like it when you do that?"
Kurama smiled for the umpteenth time that day, but said nothing. Of course, he didn't know how many times had she told him that already. But he did remember how she'd always scold him for flicking her forehead when they used to go out in the past; though that never stopped him anyway.
"So does this means we're back together?" Botan's voice snapped him out of memory lane, and back to reality.
He looked at her, loving the way her cheeks were tinted pink – probably because she herself was embarrassed by the question that had left her lips.
A chuckle escaped his lips, his emerald eyes glinting with mischief and yet, they still held his love for her, as he replied lovingly, all the while touching his forehead with hers. "What else would it mean?"
She smiled shyly at his answer, but the smile soon felled when she realized that he was slowly closing the distance between their two lips. She was even about to close her eyes when…
"AHHH! WOW! KURAMA AND BOTAN ARE BACK TOGETHER!"
The loud shriek caught both of them off guard, and they almost jumped at the sound. The two pulled apart, turning their heads to the source of the sound, and was greeted by the sight of all of their friends, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Keiko, Yukina, Shizuru and even Hiei was there.
"Shh!" Keiko put a finger to her lips. "Yusuke! Stop yelling!"
The black-haired man grumbled something under his breath, which Keiko paid no attention to, before saying out loud, "I was just shocked, you know…"
Keiko rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but you didn't need to shout…" she mumbled.
Yusuke was about to make a smart remark to that, only to be cut off when Yukina clapped her hands. "That's wonderful! Oh, but wait," she gasped, cupping a hand to her mouth as she quietly asked, "Botan-chan, I thought you were going to your grandmother's again?"
Botan waved a hand dismissively at the girl. "Yeah, but I figured why not visit here for a while. I mean, I could go to her house anytime. Plus, it's been so long since I've seen you guys!"
"Oh," Shizuru's voice chimed in, "I thought you and Kurama made a plan to meet here and you know," she teased, making kissing sounds.
"Yeah!" Kuwabara agreed. "When did you guys start dating each other again anyway?"
"And why didn't you tell us?" Yusuke butted in.
"Just now," Kurama retorted simply, his right eye twitching slightly at his friends' questions, and the assumption made by Shizuru.
Keiko giggled. "Well, does it matter? It's good that they're together again."
"Yeah," Yusuke mumbled under his breath, scratching the back of his head, before sending the couple an ear-to-ear grin, "Good to see you two again."
Kurama and Botan smiled back. "It's good to see you again, too, Yusuke," they replied chorusedly.
"Of course I mean, good to see you two "together" again," Yusuke teased again, resulting in Botan blushing beet red and Kurama, too, except he wasn't blushing as red as Botan, his now girlfriend was.
Girlfriend.
A smile unconsciously formed on his lips at the word.
After so long, he finally got what his heart wanted.
"Anyway, Shiori's waiting for us; she can't wait to see you, Kurama. And I'm sure she'd be surprised to hear that you and Botan are dating again," Keiko giddily said, letting out a giggle as she skipped towards her boyfriend, wrapping an arm around Yusuke as they all started to walk towards the direction where Shiori's house was.
"Yeah, I'm sure she'll be so surprised and happy for you guys, she'll probably start planning your wedding," Kuwabara laughed, along with the others at the thought.
"Yeah, yeah!" Yusuke nodded in agreement. "I can soooo see that happening."
Blood rushed to Botan's cheeks at Kuwabara's words. For a moment, she conjured up an image of her, wearing a white, lacy gown and Kurama, in a matching white tuxedo in her head, causing her face to grow hotter and redder.
"S-shut up, Kuwabara!" Botan indignantly cried out, albeit she was happy at the idea of her marrying Kurama. She hoped it would really come true one day.
"Ooohh, someone's getting shy!" the carrot top teased her, knowing that it would embarrass her even more.
He was right; as the blush on her face deepened – if that was even possible. She was as red as a tomato. "I-I am not!"
Kuwabara laughed, but said nothing else, and instead turned his gaze towards Hiei, the shortest – except Yukina – in the group, "Hey small fry, you've been really silent… Aren't you happy for your best friend?" he asked, saying 'best friend' instead of Kurama as he knew Hiei admitted Kurama as the only one closest to him besides his twin sister.
Crimson eyes rolled to the side. "I don't care," he nonchalantly answered.
"Man… the midget's got no feelings…" Kuwabara muttered under his breath.
Hiei smirked, and was about to say something only to cut himself off when a hand patted his head. A vein popped dangerously at the back of his head and his smirk soon fell.
Kurama patted the top of Hiei's head. "Aww, of course Hiei's happy for me!"
The redhead merely chuckled when his best friend slapped his hand away, shot a death glare his way before crossing his arms with a 'hmph'. He could tell that Hiei was just holding himself back from cursing at him.
His chuckle was abruptly stopped, when he felt a hand grabbed his, intertwining their fingers together. Averting his gaze towards Botan who was walking next to him, Kurama couldn't help but smile when he saw the red color on the girl of his dreams' cheeks.
Gently gripping her hand back, Kurama could only thank the heavens for granting him another chance to be with this girl.
And this time, he wasn't going to mess things up again.
Because she was the girl he loved.
And this girl, Botan,
she'd always have, and always will be the only girl he'd ever love.