Kate:

"So how was your day?" Mom asked quietly. She stood in my doorway and watched as I rolled over on my bed to face her.

"Eh," I mumbled as I sat up and kicked off my ballet slippers. "The usual. I taught my students how to do arabesques today."

Mom smiled a little wistfully and moved to sit down next to me. At the last second, I tossed my sweater into her seat so she couldn't sit. She backed off respectfully, but I couldn't help feeling a little bad. I just wasn't in the mood for a mother-daughter bonding session today.

"You always wanted to be a dancer," she said.

"I know," I replied, glancing at my slippers, which were gathered in a heap on the floor. "Never thought I'd do it because of the APL."

We were quiet for a moment at the mention of my old cancer. I felt my cheeks flush as I hazarded a glance at my mother. She was beautiful, but there was something very old and tired about her eyes that made her seem unattractive. I couldn't imagine a time when Mom hadn't looked sad. Even when everything was good, she was always scared for the next big emergency. I guessed it was because she'd seen death enough to realize we weren't invincible.

"Well," Mom said.

"Well," I said back.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Will you come down to set the table? We're having pasta tonight."

"Uh. . .sure. Is Dad home yet?"

Mom shook her head, letting a few strands of her shiny brunette hair slip out of her low ponytail. "Another ambulance call." She sighed, then said in a more optimistic tone, "But Jesse's going to be home for dinner tonight."

I felt myself brighten a little. Jesse wasn't home often, ever since he found an apartment of his own. Lately, I'd been pining for some of his pranks and dry humor. I stood up and smoothed my wispy blond hair, then followed Mom downstairs to the kitchen.

Feeling lighter, I turned on some of the jazzy dance music I played for my ballet students and danced along while I set our places. Mom smiled and laughed as she drained the pasta, and if I squinted, I could see her bob her head to the beat. "Come on, I'll teach you the steps!" I beckoned to Mom and grinned.

Mom laughed again and shook her head. "I'm not much of a dancer," she said.

I felt a tiny stab of disappointment, but willed myself to let it go. "What kinds of dances did you do back in your day?" I asked, trying to make conversation. "You know, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth?"

Mom set the drained pasta aside to cool and began to absentmindedly stir the tomato sauce. "Let's see. . ." She looked to be deep in thought. "Have you ever heard of the Macarena?"

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Sadly, yes," I replied.

Mom smiled and put her hands out in front of her. I giggled as she started to dance, flipping her hands over and over. When she wiggled her hips, I joined in. We danced facing north, east, south, and west. Soon we were in a fit of giggles, barely able to move without doubling over with laughter. I leaned against the counter and sighed, "Boy, if Anna could see us now. . ."

Suddenly, the kitchen fell silent, and I realized I'd said the wrong thing again. It was always happening. I screwed up everyone's life: first with cancer, then with my stupid comments. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I turned back to folding the napkins.

Sometimes I was able to believe that I was moving on with my life, that I was finally forgetting Anna's death. But there was no forgetting. I could convince myself that everything was okay, I could pretend I was having fun. But just when I wasn't expecting it, the littlest things about Anna came back to haunt me.

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Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic ever. I'm definitely going to keep updating this story with new chapters, so please review my story! I would appreciate helpful comments only! No mean comments please.

-girlnextdoor14