So this is my first installment for Loveless. I hope you all like it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless, it strictly belongs to Yun Kouga
Song: When I'm Gone
Artist: 3 Doors Down
Lyrics: italics
Bold/italics: Quotes from volume 1 of Loveless
Mai Iri Cho: My Caged Butterfly
Tossing in his sleep, blonde hair sprawled across the pillow and violet eyes clenched shut, Beloved's fighter once again battles the reoccurring nightmares of his past. Sweat trickling down the sides of his pale face, his heart rate soaring, Soubi jolts awake. Iron grip causing the soft bed sheets to crinkle under his touch, he slips into the black oblivion of closing darkness. Falling back onto the mattress, ragged breath escaping his restricted airways, the college student peers over at the still sleeping Kio before giving way into slumber himself. This wasn't the first time he'd been plagued by fearful thoughts…they'd been attacking him his entire life.
There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There're secrets in this life
That I can't hide
"Ritsuka-kun, Soubi-san is here!"
Cat ears perking slightly, a small blush spreading across his cheekbones, Ritsuka peers out the clear glass window. There waiting as usual, muscular frame leaning against the school gates and a cigarette balanced between his lips, Soubi waits silently. His composure radiating off a calm essence, his violet eyes piercing the day, and the smoke drifting from his mouth sending up a wordless message into the sky; Ritsuka can feel his beating appendage pounding mercilessly inside his chest. Although Soubi had been Seimei's fighter in the past, the valiant adult now belonged to the easily disgruntled twelve year old now. Running outside into the middle school's courtyard, his feet pounding hard against the cold pavement, Ritsuka doubles over panting heavily. Smirking slightly Soubi places his hand atop of the youngster's head rubbing his fingers against the soft skin of his ears. Blushing heavily, Ritsuka swipes the hand away and stares up into the amethyst tinged orbs. This guy…Ritsuka, I leave my fighter unit to you.
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away…
Or maybe I'm just blind…
Maybe I'm just blind…
Walking across the dew stained grass, the wild greens sticking to the bottom of his white sneakers, deep violet orbs cast their gaze upon the amethyst eyed elder. Looking curiously at Soubi's composed expression, Ritsuka reaches his hand foreword to grab the soft appendage slightly swaying by the fighter's side. Feeling their skin brush, Soubi pulls the warm thin fingers into his cool palm as he continues to walk along the pale and slightly moist green of the park. Stopping at aging picnic table, Soubi turns to face Ritsuka who is already digging into his pockets for the tiny sliver digital camera. The boy was always taking photographs…We have to take pictures. Otherwise you'll forget all about me.
So hold me while I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
Hold me while I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything you need
I'll also be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone…
Finally having fished out the pocket sized digital camera, Ritsuka looks to Soubi with an eager expression. Letting a small smile grace his lips, Soubi treads lightly to the pre-teens side and wraps an arm around his waist. Blushing a deep crimson color, Ritsuka holds the camera out arms length, positioning it at just the right angle. Letting wide grins spread across their lips, sacrifice and fighter make yet another memory to add to their growing collection. The flash temporarily taking away his vision, Ritsuka blinks once or twice before pressing the review button on the device. Flipping through the pictures he finally finds the newest memory. Holding up the photograph to Soubi, the blonde takes in a sharp drag of his cigarette before nodding in approval. There was another picture he'd have to frame and place on his already loaded bureau. Letting the listless gray smoke escape his slightly pierced appendages, Soubi closes his eyes; if only for but a moment. I admire you, Ritsuka. For your strength. I love you.
When your education x-ray
Can not see underneath my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Spreading the photographs across the length of his entire bed, the amethyst orbed blonde admires the pictures his master had printed out for him. Each photo was a precious memory belonging to the two of them alone; nothing in the world could replace those moments that they shared together. Feeling a light hand touch his shoulder, the college bound student turns around to face his roommate. Kneeling down beside him Kio curiously observes each picture on the heavy quilted mattress. It was rare to see a smile creep across Soubi's normally nostalgic face or illuminate his usually vacant gaze. Why? Why was it that this kid could suddenly change his entire outlook on life? Why was Ritsuka so special? Furrowing his eyebrows, Kio turns to Soubi who is trailing his finger slowly over Ritsuka's jaw line in their most recent photo.
"Sou-chan, why is it that you're smiling there?" Kio questions pointing to the photo nearest to him.
"Should I have not smiled?" Soubi wonders cocking his head slightly.
"No, it's not that. It's just you hardly ever smile." Kio notes pointing to a picture of Soubi and Kio on the nightstand.
"I don't like posed pictures." Soubi shrugs glancing at the faded photograph. "They're not natural and you have to fake a smile so that people actually think you're happy."
"These aren't posed?" Kio murmurs grip tightening on the flimsy sheet of glossy paper.
"No." Soubi chuckles smiling softly. "These are memories. They're precious to me."
I hate this. I really hate this. Sou-chan, you're going to become a slave to Aoyagi again?
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
Sweat pouring down his face, Soubi awakes once again from another restless night of dream. The nightmare still running thick throughout his core, he pulls his knees in close to his chest breathing in ragged breathes. Resting his head on the soft skin of his knees, Soubi turns his head to the nightstand. There sitting in frame, untouched by time, is the first memory Ritsuka had ever asked Soubi to make with him. Sighing softly as he draws his lower lip into his mouth, the young fighter attempts to banish the haunting ruminates of his shattered past. Would he ever experience a calm? Would he ever be rid of the shackles that bound his wrists so tightly? The chains that drew blood to the surface of his skin and forced him to shed unwanted tears. His answer had yet to have appeared. I shall influence and invade you. I shall infiltrate, and prevent your escape. I shall take away your freedom and lock you down.
So hold me while I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything you need
I'll also be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
"Sou-chan, are you sure about this?" Kio questions as the two walk side by side.
"I'm positive." Soubi nods talking in a big inhalation of sweet oxygen.
"But I thought piercing were more your thing." Kio murmurs sucking his lower lip into his mouth.
"I like the piercing I have, but this is a little self-cleansing." Soubi smiles as the two reach a rather large shop.
"You call getting a tattoo self-cleansing?" Kio mumbles shaking his head as he lifts his head to stare at the tattoo parlor's shop sign. "You really are a masochist aren't you?"
"Masochists like pain, Kio." Soubi chuckles rolling his violet colored eyes. "And I just so happen to hate it."
"Then why are you doing this you loon?!" Kio exclaims grabbing a hold of the soft skin of his wrist.
"So I can never forget." Soubi murmurs calmly as he enters the shop.
Sitting down in the parlor, the tattoo artist already have seen his design, Soubi pulls the shirt off of his back and leans foreword. Needles piercing the soft skin of his back, the intricate handy work soon is displayed across his shoulder blades. The wings of a blue butterfly soon start to unfold from under the ink of the needle as the name LOVELESS is etched into his back. An eternal memory of the one who keeps his heart held captive. A steel cage forming around the cho, it isn't long before the masterpiece is complete. Pulling his shirt back on Soubi looks to Kio with a light smile before departing from the shop. I want to see you.
Maybe I'm just blind…
I don't want to see you
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything you need
I'll also be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love when I'm gone
Fingers tapping lightly at the glass of the sliding bedroom doors, Soubi waits patiently for his sacrifice. Ritsuka as if on cue, comes to the clear glass window blushing madly as the tall blonde enters his bedroom. Stepping onto the soft carpeting, his long hair dripping soft droplets of moisture onto the carpet, Soubi stares intently into Ritsuka's worried mocha gaze. Touching Soubi's cheek, Ritsuka narrows his brows curling his lips into a tiny frown. Then reaching for a towel on the bed, he runs the white cloth-like material over his fighter's head. Letting a small chuckle escape his lips, Soubi lowers the two of them to the floor so that Ritsuka is sitting on his lap. Turning a deeper shade of rouge, he continues his assault on the blonde's head, drying each lock of hair carefully.
"Haven't I told you a million times to use an umbrella, Soubi." Ritsuka sighs his voice tinged with worry.
"Will you beat me for it?" Soubi chuckles as Ritsuka 's eyes widen with fear.
"Soubi!" Ritsuka growls deepening the furrow of his brow.
"Gomen." Soubi apologizes shaking his head softly. "You're just so adorable when you become flustered."
"Don't say that!" Ritsuka demands as the blush increases in color and in size. "You say such embarrassing things."
"I love you, Ritsuka." Soubi whispers pecking his forehead softly.
"What did I just say…" Ritsuka moans wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "You shouldn't say things like that. It's embarrassing."
"I only say it because it is true." Soubi replies as he just barely but noticeably winces.
"Soubi?" Ritsuka questions as anxiety runs up and down the length of his spine. "Are you hurt, Soubi?"
"Not at all." Soubi smiles pulling at the fabric of his shirt. "There's something I want to show you, Ritsuka."
"Show me?" Ritsuka wonders cocking his head slightly as Soubi turns around.
"It's a memory, Ritsuka." Soubi says as he removes his shirt letting it fall to the ground.
"That's…that's my name!" Ritsuka exclaims as the tattoo across the length of Soubi's shoulder's is exposed.
Your real name, Ritsuka…is loveless.
Love me when I'm gone…
Loveless: "One Without Love."
Love me when I'm gone
When I'm gone
When I'm gone
When I'm gone
He softly traced the outline of the caged butterfly with the tips of his fingers.
"It's true that you name is loveless, Ritsuka." Soubi breathes softly. "But you are indeed loved."
"Soubi." Ritsuka whimpers looking down at his hands resting in his lap.
"You have captured my heart…just like the cage has captured this butterfly." Soubi murmurs pressing his lips to the boy's forehead.
How could I have known…that I would come to love him so much?
Well, that's it folks. I hope you review!
FYI: Oh and that tattoo design is the one I hope to get eventually. The design is a blue butterfly trapped in a bird cage that has thorns crawling up bars and white roses forming at the top. Intricate yet very mesmerizing and gorgeous. I'll try to find a pic so that I can paste it to my profile.