Promises

Warnings: Contains one kiss of boylove nature.

01: Make a promise to yourself

He had promised that they were going home together.

Loz pulled the white sheets over his head as he huddled into a corner of the bed. He hadn't realized that it would be this home. This room, this bed. Still, he had thought that it would be ok, because Yazoo said they were going home together. Then he had looked around.

Yazoo wasn't there.

The room was painfully bright, as he remembered, but there wasn't the second bed pushed up against the other wall. There wasn't his brother sitting on beside said bed, casually re-shaping the metal into something interesting to play with. It wouldn't have been that bad.

Then the white people came in. And he realized that he had gone back, back to when he was only a small, helpless child, when he was so frail that the white men took special interest in him. He'd screamed, he'd screamed and screamed.

He started at the sound of the bed creaking, drawing the stark white sheets closer. It was stupid, bloody stupid, but maybe, if he couldn't see them, they wouldn't be able to see him. Maybe the white camouflaged him.

Maybe Yazoo was coming soon, and Yazoo would frown at him and Yazoo would tell him that that was no way for a boy to behave. And he would cry and aniki would look around awkwardly, before giving him a hug and telling him that it was ok. Everything would be ok, because they were together.

He wasn't going to give up. He wasn't.

He only wished that it wasn't so hard.

-

He had promised that they were going home together.

Yazoo slammed his fist against the invisible wall that materialized whenever he tried to leave the place. Kadaj was gone, as far as he knew. He could feel it the same way he could feel Sephiroth smirking calmly at him. The same way he could feel Loz crying.

But why was Kadaj forgiven while they were holed up in this emptiness? Was this to be their punishment? Why, then, was he trapped in this emptiness, as if he had been forgotten, when he could hear Loz crying for him?

Or was that his punishment?

He could only too well imagine what Loz was going through.

The screaming was starting again, desperate and despairing. Loz had stopped calling him by name some time ago, though he couldn't tell how long; time had no meaning here. All he knew was that desperation was creeping into that voice and it was a matter of time before Loz was broken.

He swore loudly when the screams dissolved back into choking sobs. There was laughter in his head and he spun menacingly.

"What is it, puppet? Why so upset?"

"Stop laughing, you bastard," hissed Yazoo. He wanted Velvet Nightmare and Sephiroth in front of him, just so that he could use the former on the latter. Ever since he had entered this place, Sephiroth had been a constant presence, not saying much, but irritating the hell out of him.

It was a constant reminder that they had all been used, even Kadaj, who'd seemed to be Mother's favorite. They'd all died to bring him back for a brief moment, only to have him defeated by nii-san and sent tumbling back into… wherever the hell he was prior to his resurrection.

And thus, Yazoo was trapped in this nothingness, listening to Loz reliving their worst memories…

Wait a moment. Memories? But, they had never lived, not like that… Then it clicked.

"This is your doing, isn't it?" breathed Yazoo. "What we are remembering now are your memories. But different?"

"Poor, confused little puppet. I'm sure you're wondering right now, how much of 'you' is really 'you'."

"Shut up." Memories. They belonged to Sephiroth, he was sure of it. Yet, why did he remember two beds? Why did he remember Loz being there? Why did he remember the tears, the nights, the warmth of the other half of his soul?

Sephiroth's will. His eyes widened as he saw the implications of his situation. He was arguing with Sephiroth. He, as a separate entity, was arguing with Sephiroth. Even though he was formed from a part of Sephiroth, he was also himself. There was no point wondering, no point pondering the past. He was himself.

"Ah, give the boy a round of applause. You're much better at this than Cloud ever was. Of course, I have to claim some credit…"

"Damn it, just shut the hell up, won't you! I'm not so weak as to fall for your tricks." He glared vaguely at where he supposed Sephiroth was located. "I won't be distracted."

"You want to go to him, don't you?" purred that voice in his head.

"If you can't help, it's none of your fucking business," snarled Yazoo, fingers twitching for a gun that wasn't there. He stiffened in surprise. It was there. He was back in his leather attire and Velvet Nightmare was exactly where it was supposed to be. "What the…?"

"Happy to get your gun back, puppet?"

"Sephiroth…"

"Yes, I can do that," came the voice, sounding cruelly bemused. "And more. Why don't we make a deal?"

Yazoo narrowed his eyes, cradling his gunblade. "What are you saying?" he demanded.

"It's simple, really. Though the Planet has been leeching my abilities during my stay here, I have also learnt to control the reality to some extent."

"You can bring me to Loz."

"Clever boy."

"And you tell me this NOW? After he's been suffering for HOW LONG?"

Another bemused chuckle. "I had to be sure that you would agree to the deal."

"What. Is. It?" growled Yazoo lowly.

So Sephiroth told him, slowly, with great relish.

"You fucking lunatic, NO!"

"Are you sure about that?" asked Sephiroth calmly, smirking.

Yazoo shut his eyes. The low sobbing at the back of his head was dying down to a simple, repeated prayer.

"Aniki, help…"

He looked up to where he presumed Sephiroth would be.

"I knew you would see things my way."

-

Loz winced as he heard the doors being flung open. Not again, please, not again. The sheet, being pulled back slowly…

"Loz?" called a familiar voice softly, tinted with anger and sorrow.

It… it couldn't be. Wide-eyed, Loz looked up.

"Aniki?" he whispered. No, it couldn't be. It had to be some illusion, some new form of torture. Besides, if he was like this, why wasn't Yazoo back to this age as well?

Yazoo stared as the boy backed away from him, huddling against the wall, eyes wide and frightened. He remembered that expression, from their shared memories. It never happened… but it was real. Here, it was real. And, if they were to commit themselves to live, it would always be real.

He could tell Loz now, he could tell his brother that none of this ever happened, that their memories were mere perversions of their progenitor's, but where would that leave them? They wouldn't be 'Yazoo' and 'Loz' anymore. It could wipe the pain off that face, but he was a selfish creature. He wanted to exist.

"Yes, I'm here. We're getting out of here," he told the boy, reaching out to take the trembling hand, fighting to suppress a bitter smile.

His hair fell forward and, in that bent-over position, it touched the white floor. Loz stared at his brother. Yazoo's hair wasn't that long, right? But it was Yazoo. That was Velvet Nightmare holstered where it should be.

"Loz…"

He looked up into the person's eyes.

"Aniki…"

His hand looked so fragile on top of his brother's leather-clad one.

"Let's go."

-

Loz was frailer than he'd expected. He could hardly feel the weight of the boy in his arms. Then again, while he was, more or less, back to his normal form, Loz had remained a boy of six. At least… at least he was here, right?

"Don't forget your part of the deal…"

Yazoo's lips twisted into a snarl briefly, holding his brother a little more tightly. His eyes softened when the boy stirred.

"Aniki?"

"Don't worry, I'm here," he told the boy gently.

Loz stared up at him, then buried his face in his brother's jacket. From the trembling shoulders, Yazoo knew that he was crying.

"Why did you take so long?" mumbled the boy between sobs, nearly incoherent. "You promised…"

Yazoo ran his fingers through the short silver hair, hugging Loz closer to him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I was late. But I'm here now, and I won't let you be hurt anymore."

He drew the boy up so that they were face to face. Tenderly, he brushed the tears away, then leaned forward and kissed his brother.

Loz felt his face heat up a little, but Yazoo was just so warm. He shut his eyes, allowing his brother to just hold him. It felt so safe, safer than a mother's breast. For once in his life, he felt truly loved.

Gently, Yazoo drew away, the taste lingering on his lips. Loz opened his eyes, looking shyly up at his elder brother. His brother looked right back at him, eyes not-quite hiding some strange emotion.

"Aniki? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing," replied Yazoo after a moment. He bit his lip as Loz snuggled against him, smiling up at him. Suddenly, he tightened his hold on Loz and held the boy close. "I love you, okay?" he told the child. "No matter what happens, I'll always love you."

He watched the pure joy spread across his brother's young face, bending forward and placing a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead. Then, he cast Sleep.

Holding the limp body close to himself, he turned toward Midgar and began to walk, long silver hair blowing in the wind.

170406