Disclaimer-I do not own any of the trueblood or twilight characters or scenorios. im only playing in the writers sand boxs.

I was perched on my window sill staring out at the night sky. Charlie was in bed as he had an early shift tomorrow. No matter how many times i tried to talk my mind into letting me slumber , it refused too. It kept racing like a merry go round about the last six months. When Edward first left me i lost it. Looking back know it really worrys me how much i let my life crumble around me. I was like an extra to the Walking Dead. Everything was numb apart from that excruciating hole in my chest. I was terrified that Edward was right. My mind would let him slip away from me fully. So i spent my time in a crazed manner of picturing just his face so i wouldnt forget. But then i started doubting myself. Was his eyes really shaped like that? Am i picturing the right shade of bronze? That first month was the worst of my life. I was alone , petrified and in some sort of stasis.

The second month was just as bad. I honestly believed that i could not live without him. He was what made me , well me. Without him i would just be this open void of nothingness. Then like little flecks of snow i started to remember things. I started seeing how manipulative Edward was. How they all were. Edward made me act like i was from the 1900s. I was cautious about what i would say and do because he got affended so easily. He told me how to speak , how to act. Alice told me what to wear. They did it so slowly and gentle that i didnt see it at all until they where gone. What had happened to me ? I was independent. For god sake i looked after my own mother. i sorted the bills , i washed , i cleaned and i cooked. All before i turned 7. How could i let those bastards turn me into a mindless drone.

Then i started to realise how strong i really was. Ive never had anyone there for me before , i raised myself. It was about time to get back to me. It wasnt easy but i learned how to get along. On the fourth month i found the little black box of my birthday gifts and photos. I snapped. I snatched the contents up and raced to the bathroom. Dumping them in the sink. I pulled out a lighter and lit it on fire. Like a dramatic scene from a movie the photo of me and Edward was on top. As i watched his face bubble and crisp as it burned i felt a huge amount of relief. I didnt need him or his saddened/pained look he always sported around me.

I had enough of people walking over me like a doormatt. That if they pushed hard enough that i would bend to there will. Jacab was just as bad as Edward. He thought that if he pestered me enough i would relent and magically fall in love with him. Not going to happen. If Edward ever even bothered to come back he would find that i changed the locks so the spare key i gave him wouldnt work. I knew that he was strong enough to bust through the door with one hand but i quite liked the symbolism of the whole thing.

I needed to get out of here. I just wanted to walk out the door and never turn around again. This place wasn't my home. Pheonix wasnt my home. I needed time to find me and to simply be. So i rang the one person i could always rely on. My grandmother on my mothers side. She understood me. We were alot alike. She was ecstatic about me coming to live with her and my cousins. One of my cousins Was extremly happy. We used to play when we were little. Nana had to stop him from driving down here right then and there. They comprimised that he would drive down tonight. That was why i was waiting for him. I blew out a puff of air and watched as it fogged the window.

I wonder if Edward expected me to get back on my feet. or if he would think that i crumbled so much that i couldn't even piece myself back together. I hope in the future i would run into him agian. Just so he could see that that i'm stronger then he could ever give me credit for. That he was the weak one. That a human got one over on a vampire. I wished vampires could cry , just so i could see him hurt the way i did.

I wish he could see how many nights i cried myself to sleep because he wanted to play human. Not anymore. Im Bella Swan. If Nana ever tought me anything it was no matter what hold your head up high. A whisper that sounded alot like Jasper resonated it my mind. Because your worth it Bella. And god damn it i the bigginning i could hardly breath through the pain. Know ive never breathed so deep. I always thought i wouldnt be me with out him , but i see clearly know. Maybe he thought i would fade away. But im still here. stronger then ever.

I heard a honking out side and grabbed up my luggage and ran down stairs. Thankfully with out tripping. When i got outside i dropped my bags and dived into my cousins arms. he laughed and swirled me around on charlies driveway. "God i missed you baby cuz!" "come on Jay lets get going i wanna see Nana." i said as i helped him load my bags and climbed into the passenger seat of his truck. " Well wouldn't want to keep the princess waiting know would we? its good to have you with us Hells Bells." he whisped the last part and lent over and kissed my forhead. "Its good to be with family Jay" He grinned , ran a hand through his blonde hair and winked. " We stackhouses stick together Bells."