Late afternoon confessions

The first half of this fic was written before the episode aired. The second part, after (with some big changes at the start). I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I had writing it. The events that are referenced in this fic about Danny's dog were mentioned in 2x08.

A short fic that was supposed to be just a talk between Danny and Eddie turned into something more, and well everyone that knows me has figured by now that I don't do short under 600 words ;-) Never happened before, see if it actually happens to write something short.

Big thanks to Lunedd and Praemonitus Praemunitus for giving me ideas and helping me shape it. Thanks ladies. Also thanks Prae for the title, too (we are both awful with titles, but she gave it a thought before she suggested it, and well it fits, so I used it).

She was also the one that stopped me (pulled the plug) from making Steve and Danny be too aggressive and snappy to each other when they talked and put the brakes on when I went too far with making their roles reversed (which was not my intention really, I was just in not a good mood when I was writing this story).

Leave a review on your way out and let me know what you think.

…

Danny didn't know what brought this. One moment he was happy. And then for that one moment, there were ten moments where he was sad, miserable, angry, and bitter, you name it. For a long time he took it out on his partner. He was bitching for nothing, he would just yell to get it out. And Steve knew and understood what happened with him. He was there.

Then they started drifting apart, and Danny wasn't sure who caused it. Maybe it was him, because he had to admit to himself ever since his brother died, many things went downhill and maybe he pushed Steve away. Or maybe it was Steve after the whole ordeal (and last encounter ever with the man!) in the hands of Wo Fat.

But, then Steve was a jerk towards him and that made Danny question himself if Steve was still his best friend, if he loved him as much as Danny did, or even if he still wanted him on the team. Danny had his suspicions for a long time that it was connected with Catherine and her leaving Steve again, but then more things were piling up and their dynamic was more than off. It pained Danny that he and Steve came to a point in their lives that they couldn't talk like normal people without snapping at each other with the malice they never did before.

It came to a halt with that life-churning situation where he had to donate half his liver to Steve to save his life. And that made Steve even more of a jerk, where he couldn't just face Danny and tell him what was really wrong between them, because Danny couldn't take the distance between them.

Then Danny became the jerk. He pulled away from Steve, he practically growled at him that he is better off him, and maybe, just maybe Steve realized that he made a mistake and tried to fix it, but Danny wouldn't let him. Because he suffered for far too long and it wasn't fun anymore. Not that it ever was fun or something.

There was the mad serial killer situation that happened not long after the transplant that almost killed Steve. Danny felt really awful afterwards, he chose going to New Jersey, right before that, and something horrible happened to Steve. After that, the feeling of hostility between them kinda ceased, but it was soon back to "normal", their "normal" anyway, and Danny was getting tired from the same old dance. The fact that Danny blamed himself, because every time that he wasn't around, it was bound for shit to happen to McGarrett, was not helping at all.

Miraculously to add insult to an injury Steve's ex-girlfriend and mommy dearest appeared out of thin air shortly afterwards, and rustled Steve even more. Steve was even angry with him because Danny called their friends and colleagues to help. Because once again, faith or maybe his stupid choice of timeline when to go to New Jersey, were guilty for Steve being on his own when the visit from Catherine happened. Maybe Danny was feeling guilty for not being there, by Steve's side, for pulling away, once again. And maybe he just wanted to make things right and apologize in a way, but no, Steve had to be mad at him for doing that.

That was about the time Danny stopped showing off his feelings when he was sad or angry. It wouldn't make a difference, not like Steve cared anymore. One of the reasons why he didn't mention his retirement plans to Steve. He was the one pulling away now, and Danny hated himself for it, when he actually stopped for a second to think about it. But, there was no turning back, not now when they were too far away to get back on the right track.

Then there was that bomb, and that uranium that resulted in Steve getting that godawful radiation poisoning. It seemed like Steve was getting back to Danny for him being snappy, and rude, and just lashing out for no reason. It was like they were spinning in circles who would hurt the other the most, instead of addressing their problems and issues like adults. He was hiding that for weeks, months even, and when Steve finally broke the news to Danny, Danny almost lost it. It left him reeling. Because deep inside, he didn't blame Steve for it, he blamed himself. Because, he pulled away from Steve, right when Steve bared his soul in front of him.

Right when it mattered to Steve, Danny was the jerk. Danny was the one that ignored the proverbial elephant in the room- in the truck, not entirely, but he didn't say anything to Steve. He just let the guy pour his heart out and he stopped himself before he uttered a word, because he was scared of crossing some imaginary line, he himself put there. And that's where the sane part of their situation stopped. Up until then it was both of them taking shots at each other, pouring gasoline on the fire while it was still burning.

But, Danny came to a realization as soon as they were out in the clear spot in the woods and the truck exploded behind them. He was guilty for that look in Steve's eyes, and nothing he could say or do could change that. He gave up without even trying to fix it, because he knew he won't be able to do it. No matter how positive and optimistic he wanted to be, to change, for him and for Steve, he couldn't help but retreat to the dark dungeon his tortured mind was.

Letting the negativity take his reins now, Danny conceded defeat even before the battle started. Because he didn't want to see that same look in Steve's eyes, like ever again. Because he didn't want to be the source of pain for his best friend, for the closest he got to brother, after Matthew. The most important person in his life alongside his little Monkey and Tiger.

The man that meant more to Danny than life itself.

They were on a broken road now. And they were both on the opposite end, with no bridge between them.

Danny tried to relent, to let go, he started to open up again, he was hell bent on repairing what he broke himself, but what Steve started, or they started it both, Danny can't be sure of, that cannot be repaired. It turned out that they were still the friends they were before, Danny gets that feeling like back in the day, they go out, they have fun, they hang out with the team, a barbecue, just them watching CHiPS and relaxing on the couch. It gets a semblance of normalcy again.

Which is short lived.

When it happens again, Danny is not sure he'll be able to recover from it.

It happened in the form of Chin Ho Kelly deciding to accept the offer to run his own task force in San Francisco. With him Danny at least got to say goodbye. His cousin Kono is an entirely different story, because she left for Carson City without even saying a goodbye, and that hurt more than it should have. Because they were his friends. His friends, and he lost them all at once.

Danny was sure that Steve is feeling the same as he does, he can see it and feel it, whenever they talk about them or someone meets them and asks "Hey, brah, how's Kono?" Or, "Howzzit, brah, Chin still around?"

Steve is suffering too, and if Danny can make something about it, he would, because Steve does not deserve that. He's suffered a lot in his life. And here it is, Danny is worrying about Steve again, and disregarding his feelings, and that they should actually sit on the same table and talk, really talk and solve this tension once and for all.

The funniest thing of all, according to Danny is that he hasn't cried in a few months. He hasn't let himself grieve and get it out. And from the looks of it, neither has Steve. And Danny hurts because Steve is too strong to bear all of it alone. He doesn't turn to Danny for support, he just goes on and on and on, with that burden on his shoulders, and he never lets go.

Danny wants to cry, for both of them, but he can't. He can't show emotions now. Not now when they are all working double their strengths because they are a man short, two people short, and things are changing, and they go in bed at night, and get up in the morning to do as much as they could, before they become a crumpled heap on the floor from exhaustion and lack of sleep.

There is a semblance of normalcy when Tani joins the team. They are allowed a breather, even tho their schedule is already full. They can share it with her, and with her determination and eagerness, she is ready to help them. And it's so relieving, Danny lets himself to take a breather. To stop. And unwind.

Then Eddie happened. That sweet and cute Lab that stole everyone's hearts with the heartbreaking story of his handler in the DEA being killed in front of his eyes, and he himself getting shot. Danny couldn't bear the thought of watching Eddie die, so he kept a distance. Seeing how Steve became attached to the dog, it didn't come as a surprise when Steve said to him one day that Eddie's new home would be McGarrett's house. Danny smiled then, that sad smile he always did, put on a happy face and hugged Steve.

In reality he was happy, he really was, and it was just the memories that dog and what happened to him brought for Danny was overwhelming. Danny swore he wouldn't let his feelings get the best of him. He swore he wouldn't get hurt again. But, he was proven wrong one day, when all of what he wished for came true, and him and Steve came to a turning point.

...

Eddie could feel that his current owner and his partner were tense. The last case was hectic and they were trying to ride all that adrenaline. They got an intel around 3 a.m. and by the time they finished with it, it was already mid-morning, the exhaustion evident on all of them. Steve sent all of them home, with strict orders to take the day off, dragging Danny and Eddie with him. He had adopted the dog soon after their first case together, and he was happy to use his insight in cases like their recent one. It's been three weeks in which he enjoyed the dog's company.

So, now Eddie found himself watching intently at Steve and Danny. He knew he'd get the blonde man's attention if he just waggled his tail, but decided to wait on him to be alone. As much as Eddie liked his new owner, he felt the detective needed him right now. He was on a mission. Not backing down from it.

Danny eased himself in the chair with a beer in hand, trying to relax, to unwind. Steve went to take a shower, so it meant at least a little peace and quiet. Because McGarrett didn't do peace. Nor quiet.

And clearly his dog didn't either. He could feel the soft footfalls of Eddie's paws approaching him and he smiled inwardly. Steve may not have the dog for a long time, but the little guy (no pun intended) liked him already. And Danny loved him to pieces. He loved dogs. He was a dog person, after all.

Eddie placed his head in Danny's lap. Danny in turn scratched him behind his ear and the dog leaned into the touch. It felt somehow soothing.

Danny spent a long time not having a dog, and he missed that.

"Never figured Steve would get a dog you know."

Eddie immediately lifted his head to look at Danny when he mentioned Steve.

"He was always the cat person. If you met him beforehand, you couldn't tell he was a dog person. Or maybe he had that well hidden from me." Not that I'd blame him if he did. The dry chuckle that escaped Danny sounded odd even in his ears. "Or maybe it's just you."

He sighed. Loudly.

Danny was thinking about Steve taking the dog in after what happened and how keen he was on doing that, when Steve was so indifferent that one time Danny poured his feelings in front of him. When he told Steve about the dog he lost to the divorce. The one that died in quarantine. The one he loved so much it hurt. The one that he wished never got old and caught up in the mess his divorce was.

Danny was sad. Sadness was a companion that sat next to Danny almost on regular basis in the last few months. He didn't take well his coworkers' (and friends' per se) departure. But, he never really allowed himself to be sad and just take it out. Instead kept it bottled inside, framed that smile he always had on when things weren't okay, when he didn't want people to worry about him. Specifically he didn't want Steve to worry about him. The guy had too much on his shoulders already, he didn't need Danny on top of that.

So, he suffered in silence. But, when Steve took Eddie in it was too much for him to hold it inside. The reminder of what he once had brought an onslaught of emotions he couldn't keep in check. Made him wonder how long it was before Steve felt it too, and confronted him about it.

Danny never realized he said all of that out loud nor that Eddie seemed lost in thought, and that he moved next to his feet now.

"You know what's the worse of all, Eddie?"

The dog looked at Danny with his soulful eyes, tilted his head like he was listening intently, like he wanted to offer comfort to the blonde.

"I get emotionally attached. Once I'm in, I'm in for life. That's how it was with Steve, he irritates the hell out of me, always reckless and driving me crazy, but I love him nonetheless. My partner, my best friend, my brother. He is the shoulder I lean on when it's too much. He's always there for me when I need him. And there is this fucked up trait of mine to get too invested emotionally. With people. With dogs. Almost 6 years ago, there was this case... A woman was murdered, and when we went to her home there was this dog..."

Danny wiped a lone tear that escaped.

"He was really cute, but you are cuter. Don't tell him that, because he'll get jealous of me. He belongs to Gracie, by the way, my daughter. So, I insist we keep the dog, Steve is like 'the hell we would', but I didn't care, I brought him with us. Can you imagine, it was one of the days I got to actually drive my own car and Steve was in the back seat." Eddie woofed then, and Danny smiled. Eddie was damn perceptive. And that sounded like a dog laugh.

"I didn't have the heart to part ways with him... I gave it to Gracie. And last I heard he wasn't complaining of my choice for a new owner. Now, I had this dog... Back way when I and Rachel were married."

Eddie leaned closer to where Danny sat on the chair and put his head on Danny's right foot.

"I lost my dog to the divorce. I would say Rachel ripped me off for good. Lost the house we lived in, the dog, everything I worked for, everything we worked for. And you know the saddest thing of all was... He died shortly after the divorce. Life is strange Eddie. It gives you a blow after blow after blow. The dog was old, had him even before I got married, but nonetheless it was a hard blow."

Danny stopped for a second, tried to collect himself, took a few deep breaths before he continued.

Man, this was hard.

"I was visiting my dog while in quarantine. You know, we were in the middle of the divorce and he had to be put in quarantine. I have no idea how Rachel managed to take him away from me. You see, she wasn't invested in him as much as I was. And not once while he was in there she went to visit. Not once. Because I signed on every entry and exit and her name was not in the logs."

He sounded so angry, so bitter, thinking of that fateful moment of his life that it hurt now as much as it did when it happened.

"She said she never had time. I guess planning her new wedding with Stan the millionaire was keeping her busy. Anyway, I went to see my old man whenever I had the chance. One night, they were closing the veterinary station and I had to go, no matter what I couldn't stay longer. I could see it in his eyes he didn't want me to go when I placed a kiss on his head. He was a sucker for kisses and belly rubs the devil." Danny laughed at that memory.

"Then I say to him 'See ya' tomorrow, pal' and I have to leave. He whined. I had this nagging feeling in the back of my head, didn't sleep well that night. So, the next morning first thing I did was go to the station, but my dog was not to be seen, instead this little German shepherd was in his place in the kennel. I went crazy, started screaming, asked to see a doctor, just where the hell is my dog you know."

Eddie shifts to his lap again, sensing that here comes the hard part. And Danny lays his palm on Eddie's head, lets it to rest.

"A doctor finally came to see me. Tried to calm me down because I fucking panicked, you know it was not just a dog, it was a part of my family. I don't remember much past the 'He died' part. I tuned out, more like zoned out and freaked the hell outta the staff. I still wish, to this day, I begged them to stay. He spent his last hours alone. And I'll never forgive myself for it. If I had a say in the matter, I'd spend his last hours with him. Life, Eddie, life is not fair."

Danny finished.

He leaned into the chair and closed his eyes, letting himself rest for the whole one sided talk was emotionally and physically draining.

He never heard another pair of footfalls, nor did he feel Eddie lifting his head to look at Steve who gently put his index finger over his mouth to shush Eddie. The last thing he wanted to, was to give Danny a scare.

He noticed the lines of frown and fatigue on Danny's face and he heard a good portion of the "talk" between his partner and his dog.

Steve carefully shook Danny.

"Hey, buddy, why don't you get inside, get cleaned up and rest?"

Danny tiredly looked at Steve and nodded, taking the offered hand to lift himself up off the chair. Steve laid a supportive hand on Danny's shoulder as they walked in the house.

"You can shower and take a nap if you like. You look exhausted."

"Says the guy who looks worse than I do."

"Nah, I'm fine Danny. You on the other hand need that rest now. So, don't argue."

Danny snorted as he took Steve's advice and showered. More like scalded his skin until he could see it was beginning to get raw and red. He needed to chase away the sadness and the pain he felt. He just needed to sleep for a long time and wake up happy and lucky and all he ever wished for.

But, life was never like that. Never taking your wishes as they are and fulfilling them. Sometimes you had to wait for it. And sometimes luck and happiness would knock on your neighbor's door, not yours.

Danny rested his forehead on the shower tiles as he turned off the water and let himself cool off.

Toweling himself dry, he managed to pull on one of Steve's white t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. The minute his head touched the pillow, he was out like a light.

…

Danny woke up to the sounds of the waves crashing against one another and for the first time in years, it felt calming. It felt soothing. He squinted to adjust his eyes on the semi darkness in the room. He could see the sun disappearing behind the horizon.

Somehow there was a significant amount of time that passed between his decision to take a nap and now. He looked at the watch on the nightstand and realized it was past 6 in the afternoon. Just how long did he sleep?

He winced as he tried to get up. His everything hurt. Then he remembered the shower. The most probable reason for the pain.

Danny navigated the stairs trying to be quiet in case Steve took a nap of his own, but as he entered the kitchen he found him doing the dishes. Apparently he wasn't napping.

"Hey, Danny."

"Hey."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. It was supposed to be a nap, remember?" Danny laughed at that. "And look at me, I slept more than 6 hours. I must be getting old."

"No, Danny that was just your body's natural reaction. We were all exhausted, working for 36 hours straight, and that raid… I managed to grab a shuteye myself, just woke now. Decided to do the dishes. What do you want for dinner?"

"Um, actually I was going to ask you to take me home. I don't want to bother you, if you want to rest. You really look like you need it. And I…"

"Oh, come on, Danno. Stay with me."

Danny opened his mouth to argue, but Steve was faster.

"I know what you are going to say. You are not a burden. You are not bothering me by any means. And I'd like you to stay, I miss to hang out with you, just sitting on the couch or on the lanai and doing nothing. Well, actually, Eddie is here now, so we'll have to share with him, not the beers, but you know what I'm trying to say."

Danny smiled that sad smile again, and Steve thought the guy was going to bolt through the door.

"Okay, I'll stay."

"That's already better. Besides, we need to talk."

"Talk about what?"

"Chinese or pizza?"

"Wow, way to throw off a topic, Steven, what is that you want to talk about with me that can't wait till tomorrow?"

"Let's just get something to eat and drink a beer or two, and then we'll talk."

Danny eyed Steve like he grew on a second head but rolled with it.

"Pizza."

That one word rolled off his tongue in a manner that told Steve he was getting angry by the minute. Maybe he should have switched to the main topic of the conversation, but Steve needed to build up the courage to get out what he wanted to say. Danny was pulling away from him with every passing day and irritated the hell outta Steve. If Danny didn't want to fix this, he would.

The pizza arrived, and both of them sat on the couch, eating and sipping beer, watching one of those cop shows they showed on Tuesday nights, and didn't say a word. Steve kept staring at Danny every other second, trying to see if he could make out what was Danny thinking, but his partner's face was an unreadable mask.

"What did you do to yourself?" came Steve's voice all of a sudden, just now noticing the red tinge of Danny's skin.

"Uh… nothing?"

"Danny, your skin is red! And raw! Oh, my God, you didn't get a hot shower, did you?"

"I… may have…"

"What the hell?"

"I wasn't feeling well, I needed to let some steam, well look at me I literally let some steam. By the time I realized it was too hot, this happened."

"I'm gonna get you a cream or an oil. You have to put something on it. And keep the skin hydrated."

"No, don't, it will pass. I don't need you to…"

"I'm going Danny. And you will fucking put it on the worst parts of your skin, or I'll do it. And I won't be gentle!" Steve's patience was at an end and he hated himself for yelling at Danny, for how the guy visibly winced. "Sorry… Just, stay put."

Danny stared at Steve as he went to the bathroom and came back with handful of ointments, skin oils and whatnot.

"Why are you yelling at me? I didn't do anything wrong…"

And there it was. That hurt tone in Danny's voice that stabbed Steve through the heart. That tone of his voice that he hadn't heard since… Well, since the cousins parted ways with the team, and he knew it was there, he knew Danny wouldn't let himself grieve, and let it go.

But, he didn't actually expect for Danny to be so open raw in front of him after what happened this morning. Or the last few years, as a matter of fact. It was like he had his old friend Danny back.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, alright? It's just I don't want to see you hurt yourself Danno."

"Hurt myself? What are you talking about?"

"I know you are not feeling well. Haven't been for a long time. And that maybe I contributed to that."

Danny was blinking at Steve, trying to make sense of what he said in the last minute.

"Steve, can I ask you something? Please start from the beginning and talk more clearly, 'cause I didn't understand a word from what you said."

"You are like this, sad, and angry, and bitter, and you are fucking trying to convey it with smiles and laughs, and I don't want to see you like that. And with me bringing Eddie home with me, with me taking him to work to help us out… I did this to you. I heard you… What you said to Eddie, today."

"You did what?"

"I finished showering and decided to come out to tell you that you can use the bathroom when I found you and Eddie cuddled up on the lanai. And I guess I just froze."

"And you just happened to eavesdrop on what I was talking with your new friend, huh?" Sarcasm was dripping from the words.

"Danny…"

"Why? Just, why can't I, for once in my life get it out, and you to not be involved in it, huh? Like you cared the first time around. How much did you hear?"

"Enough."

"Enough as in 'I heard the whole goddamned talk', or enough like 'I know you had a dog and it died, but I didn't give a shit about it' enough?"

"I said enough Danny. And I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you are. Sure."

"I am, Danny. I am truly sorry. Would you let me talk for a second and try to explain that?"

"Explain what, Steve? What is there left to explain? You pretty much voiced it vocally, besides your limited vocabulary, your love for cats and them being the more superior animals, blah, blah, blah, and now all of a sudden you get this dog and you are best friends with him? I thought you didn't get this stuff."

"I didn't get it how? Now you lost me."

"Well, last time I opened up about that time in my life when I had a dog, and I lost it to the fucking divorce, you said nothing. You couldn't give a damn even about the dog of that dead agent. So what I was supposed to do, Steven? Huh? What? Come and cry on your shoulder because that dog reminded me of my dead dog? Huh?!"

"So, that's why you kept your distance?"

"Damn right, why I kept my distance! Because seeing Eddie, shot, his blood on your hands… I just couldn't. Couldn't let myself get attached again. Because it was too much the last time it happened. I was not gonna make it if Eddie died then and there. Do you understand now?"

"Yes, I do. Yes, I do, now. After I've taken Eddie with me, I do understand more where you come from."

"Great insight, Steven. Stunning detective work." Danny spat the bitter words, as Steve contemplated what he was going to say next.

"I'm sorry, Danny."

"Stop it. Just stop apologizing. You didn't do anything. It's just me and my fucking mind that is so negative I think I should go and get my brain removed. I should concentrate on the here and now and the happy things, and look what I am doing, a trip doing memory lane with always the bad things that happened."

"No, Danny, listen. I'm sorry I said that. Or if you like, what I didn't say then. It's just… I never had a dog before. I never even had a pet as a kid, man."

That stopped Danny's retort and made him look away. Because he could feel the tears stinging.

You are not going to cry! You are so not going to fucking cry, Williams! Just gather yourself!

"I'm sorry, Steve." Danny's voice was more of a waiver, barely above a whisper, and he knew, he just knew that the time for that talk he dreaded has come.

"This is not just about the dog, is it?" Steve asked, and it looked like he didn't fare much better in the emotions department.

"No, it's not."

Danny looked at Steve with that longing look he had always when he wanted to say something, but stopped himself before he uttered a word. Steve had caught early on, but never pushed it, knowing Danny would come to him if he needed the talk. But, did he really think that?

"We need to talk, Steve."

"Yeah, I know."

"It's been a long time since we actually talked, and I was dreading this moment. I just didn't think today it would be the day, but present is as good time as any, right?" Danny didn't wait for an answer, he continued talking. "What are we doing to ourselves, babe?"

"I don't know, Danno."

"I mean look at us. We are talking, but we are not saying anything, we drifted apart, and there was this time when I couldn't even think of having to get a number so I can have an appointment with you, to have a talk."

"I…"

"Before you even say that it's your fault, don't, Steve. Because it's not. It's entirely my fault. I shut you out, and I didn't know how to get us back on track, I practically hid in the attempt to fix things, and I messed up. I'm sorry. This is not going to get fixed by itself or with just one apology, but I have to move from somewhere."

"Danny…"

"I apologize. Sorry for being such a rude person, for treating you like I didn't care, because the truth is I care, Steve, I care more than you think, but then I thought you didn't appreciate me anymore, and that you didn't want me to be your partner. I felt like you are trying to get away from me, and I let it slide, because you are important to me, and I couldn't ask this from you. I shut you out, I said to myself it was for the best, but it turned out to be for the worst."

"Oh, Danny, I would never shut you out, never. And I need to apologize, too. I was being a rude person myself, as much as you, because I had the same thoughts you had. I thought you wanted an out of the team, you didn't share that much with me anymore, and then all that shit that happened between us, and to us… It was too much to bear alone, but I couldn't force it on you, so I backed down. Worst thing I ever did, I guess."

"We are both idiots."

"Yeah, I guess we are."

"We need to work on our communication, eh?"

"How about we start right now?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"I'll go first." Steve said, determined.

"You sure?"

"Yes. Someone said to me once that it was okay to open up."

"Well, that same someone failed to open up himself, so not sure if it was the right advice."

"He may be a loudmouth, but his advice was one of the best I've gotten in my entire life."

Danny ducked his head and smiled, a tear escaping him again.

"It's okay, you know?"

"Okay, what?"

"It's okay to let it go. God knows I haven't done it, and look where it got me."

As if on cue the tears trapped behind Danny's eyes started to fall freely, and he let them.

…

It took Danny some time to calm down after the particular emotional outlet, when Steve thought it was the time they made good on their communication.

"You know, Danno, I am really sorry that I've been an ass to you. More than once. I guess that most of the time is some sort of defense mechanism, and instead of turning to you to ask for help and a talk, just to get through it… I guess I didn't think it would ever be the same with us as it was before."

Steve looked at Danny meaningfully, unable to tear his eyes away from his partner, a watery smile greeting him.

"Yeah, me, too. I mean, look at us babe. What have we done to the Steve and Danny we were before? You are not the only one that has to apologize. I have to apologize, too, because I was really pushing it, and in a way I pushed us over the edge in the last year or so, and I am so, so sorry about that, you have no idea."

"I think I do." Steve reached then and caressed Danny's temple with his knuckles, a sad look in his eyes.

To anyone else, it could have been just an inappropriate touching, but they knew each other for a long time, and they never really had boundaries or sense of personal space before. They cuddled together, two grown-ups, so why should the touch be any different than just being full of love and understanding, and everything that was left unsaid between them?

Danny was the type of guy that wore his heart on his sleeve, but he could close to himself on occasions. Still, he was always communicating the best with words, rants were his thing. He was vocal about everything that happened to him, every feeling. Steve used to joke that Danny would eat one tape for breakfast and it was enough to last him for the day, and sometimes even for the next day.

Steve on the other hand was the type of guy that never really understood what he felt, before he thought it through. He was military after all, and all that tough guy exterior wasn't for nothing. He had difficulty expressing emotions, because he was told for a long time that it was a weakness. But, when he met Danny, he learned that you could bear the world's weight and you could still cry and be the strong person that you are. So, he tried to let go, to open up, but it never worked well with him. He was better with showing what he felt, through gestures, hugs, small deed.

They gave each other so much. Steve found family in Danny and his family, and Danny found that not all about Hawaii is bad when Steve is around. Steve gave Danny a home, a place where he now belonged. But, Danny's home was more than a place, it was the feeling.

Maybe that's why they knew each other so well, and were understanding when it came to talk about feelings. Danny had no problem sharing, and encouraged Steve on many occasions to do the same, and listened. And stayed. No matter what the situation between them, if they were fighting or drifting apart, Danny always stayed.

"Hey, not that I don't appreciate this expressiveness of feelings contrast to your neanderthalism, but what's this all about?"

"Worry wrinkles."

"M?"

"Worry wrinkles. You have a lots of worry wrinkles. And I put them there."

"That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not Danny. I've probably stole years off your life with how much I have worried you throughout the years ever since I made you my partner. I'm sorry."

"Hey, there. You have a fair share of them yourself, babe. It's not like I haven't worried you as much as you did worry me. Probably even more. I'm sorry I put you through some shit with me. But, have to admit, those look good on you."

"Geez, thanks, Danno, first time I hear anyone saying that wrinkles look good on someone."

"You are not someone. You heard me well, I said they look good on you. Not that your ego needs to overinflate, but what I said is the truth, so bear with me. Besides, there are lots of wrinkles that come from the numerous times you made me laugh, so I think we are even."

Steve laughed then, and with every second of it, the tension was leaving his body in waves, affecting Danny in a good way, one he hadn't felt in a really, really long time.

"Hey, babe, promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me that when I act like a jerk, or pull away from you, that you'd slap some sense into me, not with just word, use fists if you need to."

Steve laughed some more.

"It's not funny, Steve. Please, just do. I need you to promise me. Because I don't want to be the one that worries you, ever again, not if I can help it."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I said okay, Danno, I'll do as you said. But I expect the same from you."

"It comes with the territory, I guess. You do for me what I do for you."

"LOL that actually sounded funny, since you are a funny guy."

"LOL?"

"I have a teenage niece, have to catch up with the language and all that."

"Well, that's good to know my baby has that kind of influence of you."

"It does, huh?"

Danny just smiled at Steve, feeling at ease now that they actually talked for more than couple of minutes without killing each other, and that they cleared the path between them, found that bridge between the two parts of the broken road. And it calmed him. It healed him. He had his old Steve back, and he was sure Steve felt the same for him. All this talk ended with him feeling tired, more than he ever was in the last… lifetime?

He carefully placed his head on Steve's shoulder and grinned as Steve placed his arm, his tentacle, since he was the octopus in their "marriage" and hugged Danny tighter to him. Danny missed this. The closeness the two of them had, the easiness with which they both held each other, comforted each other. Just some down time between friends and brothers. Being themselves.

"Hey, Danno?"

"Mhm?"

"You think you can climb the stairs before you fall asleep on my shoulder and I wake up with crick in my neck in the morning?"

"Mhm, I think I can manage that."

"Okay."

Steve removed his arm from Danny and helped him stand. The sudden movement sent Danny's world in a spinning whirlwind, and if it weren't for Steve's strong and steady arms he would have kissed the floor, face first.

"Easy there, buddy, easy. I've got you."

Danny wasn't stable on his feet, and Steve ended up half carrying and half dragging Danny up the stairs and in his bedroom. Because the bed there was comfy. And Danny needed it.

"You need to stop fussing over me, you know. I could very well sleep in your guest room, like I have many times."

Several years ago, Danny's sleepover place migrated from the couch to the guest room.

"Well, Danno, for your information I have a very comfy bed, and you look like you need it, so I see no point in arguing with me on where you will sleep tonight."

It was pitch dark, but there was enough light from the moon outside so Steve knew where they were headed. Danny was already in a t-shirt and sweatpants so he didn't need change of clothes. Steve gently brought him to the bed and tucked him in.

When he was sure Danny was comfortable, Steve opted to leave the room, but a hand on his forearm stopped him.

"Can you stay, please, Steve?"

Danny's voice sounded so small and vulnerable, and it was in that tone Steve could never refuse anything to Danny, so he rolled with it, and sat on the edge on the bed.

"Yes, I can. Don't worry, Danno. It's all good between us. Actually, it will take us a lot to work on our relationship, but we'll do it together this time. And you go to sleep, I'll watch over you. Promise."

"Promise to watch over me, or promise, promise? You know what I mean."

"Both."

Danny smiled and closed his eyes, his hand still on Steve's forearm. After a while he opened them to look at Steve's concentrated face directed his way.

"You know, babe, this is your room, and technically this is your bed, so instead of standing like a bean pole over there, you can get in bed with me."

Steve's eyes widened at the suggestion, and no matter how tired Danny was he had to laugh at the sight of Steve's aneurysm face.

"I know what it might imply, dear, but it's not like we haven't done it before."

Steve visibly relaxed, and tucked himself under the covers, smiling as he saw Danny do the same.

Just before Danny drifted off to sleep, he heard Steve next to him. "Just so you know Danny, neanderthalism is not even a word."

The soft huff of breath gave him all the reassurance in the world, that all was good.

…