A/N: Hi Guys! So here's this thing, haha. I wrote it because I seem to like AU stories, they just appear in my head like wildfire. I wanted to say that I appreciate and love every single one of you who take the time to read/review/follow/favorite any of my stories. This is unbeta'd and it's the first chapter out of three. I hope you enjoy it, please read and review to let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I own nothing! I do not own Glee or the characters involved, they are property of Ryan Murphy and Fox.
I Belong With You, You Belong With Me (You're My Sweetheart)
(Part One)
Rachel Berry was quite literally living the dream.
Well, maybe not the dream, but it was still something worth living.
She was living in NYC, attending NYADA, and married to her highschool sweetheart. Sure, they lived in a shoebox of an apartment and yeah, it did suck that they spent more time apart than they did together. But Rachel refused to rate her life based on her current circumstances alone. All that mattered was the fact that they were still together. No matter how hard the days were, nothing was better than lying next to Finn at night and realizing that they were both going somewhere. More importantly though, that they were going there together.
Sure, it was exhausting, but achieving your dream usually is.
Things are hard, even with the money that Rachel's fathers constantly sends them. Rachel pinches and bargains and eats Easy Mac a lot more than she'd like to just so they can skate by, and somehow they still barely manage. It's overwhelming because she had always known that New York would be expensive, but it seemed like the expenses had tripled now that there was another mouth to feed.
It takes three weeks for Rachel and Finn to stop eating out, six weeks for them to start using candles instead of heat, and eight weeks (overall) for Rachel's "first year of college fund" to completely dry out. Her fathers are outraged, and Rachel honestly agrees that they should be. They had never signed up for 'Rachel and Finn', they had only ever intended for there to be Rachel, and it must have been tiring to see her share so many things they wanted for her...with him.
Kurt offers to help, to move in and save them money, but Rachel and Finn are both too proud to allow it. They're both determined to make this-everything, work on their own.
Marriage is...something else entirely. They spend too much time trying to figure out how they should be and very little time on how they actually are. Rachel doesn't enjoy doing Finn's laundry and he doesn't like sitting through any of Rachel's (many) Barbra movies.
They do it though, without much complaint, because that's what marriage is. That's what you do when you love somebody.
Finn gets two jobs a few weeks before Rachel's first official day at NYADA.
Both jobs suck and Rachel can immediately tell that he's unhappy. She has half a mind to tell him to quit, to convince Finn that he didn't have to try so hard to impress her. She wants to tell him that their marriage was one that was equal and that meant that she didn't need him to take care of her. She wants to tell him to go after his dreams. She wants to be the Rachel who didn't push people unless she meant well.
She wants to do those things, but she can't stop looking at the growing pile of bills on the thing they pretend is a dinner table. So, she says nothing. Rachel let's Finn continue working at the corner store/warehouse because she's starting to realize that something is always better than nothing in New York, and it doesn't matter how you got that something. It just matters that it's there.
Rachel gets a part-time job at a bakery shortly after. It isn't the "don't do this" that she's wanted to say to Finn. Instead it's a "I can do this, too", and she hopes that Finn understands that Rachel isn't just referring to making money.
Their schedule is insane. Most days have Rachel and Finn waking up at five am and turning in at almost eleven pm. It's hard work, they would both willingly admit that, and it was finally starting to seem a little more worth it. Finn was excelling at his warehouse job in so many ways that they offered him a full time position. It was hard labor, but it meant that Finn could finally quit Walgreens and still make more money than he had before.
Rachel was doing well, too. She's finally getting the hang of her dance classes and she's more than excelling in her singing workshops. Her co-workers love her and she often got keep the food that right sell. The "mistakes" her co-workers called them. The "rejects" her work labeled them.
It's funny, Rachel often thinks, to be food. Because even if someone calls a food a reject or a mistake...someone, somewhere, would still be willing to have it. That's a much better situation than a lot of people have it.
It must be nice, Rachel thinks to herself as she watches Finn scarf down half of the donuts she brought home, to always be wanted.
It takes awhile for their routine to set in.
But when they hit their stride (and boy do they do that), it's almost like magic. At their best they're this communicating entity. The bills are paid ahead of time, Rachel gets a lead in the Thanksgiving and Christmas musicals that are put on by the freshmen, and Finn receives three bonuses from work.
It isn't the destiny that either of them imagined, but it's working, so Rachel leaves it alone. They sleep together (sexually) at least once every couple of weeks. The sex isn't what it used to be, at least not for Rachel, but at least she has it. Rachel knows of a lot of couples who have stopped trying all together. Maybe Finn is inept at trying to be romantic, maybe it does feel like they're going through the motions, but why fix something that isn't technically broken?
They work on most levels. Yeah, it does suck that Rachel always thought her future would be great and it felt like she was settling for just okay. Yeah, it was awful that she found herself taking care of Finn more than her took care of her.
However, every relationship has it's problems. Rachel had to be thankful that Finn was there. She had to be grateful that she even had a marriage that worked most of the time.
They could always get better with time, anyway, and fix the problems as they go along.
About halfway through her first year, Finn gets promoted to a job that requires a little bit more labor but a lot more hours. It's better money and Rachel is thankful that he's trying to provide for her.
For whatever the money brings; security, comfort, happiness, it also takes away just as much. Finn becomes too tired to put in the effort to do much around the apartment. He stops wanting to hang out with any of Rachel's friends and she finds herself resenting the fact that she has to stay home with her husband when everyone else gets to go out and live.
The resentment manifests itself and Rachel starts avoiding spending time with Finn. She's still present when she has to be, but she starts spending more and more of her free time with Kurt. It's nice to be around Kurt and talk about the newest gossip at NYADA. It's nice to not have to think about laundry, dinner, or bills.
It's nice to feel eighteen again.
Finn doesn't seem to mind the fact that Rachel's gone, as long as she's with Kurt. It irks her that he feels he can control her. It grates on Rachel's nerves to realize that Finn thinks he has some sort of claim on what she does and where.
Rachel tells Kurt as much while they're waiting in line at Starbucks. He's trying to buy Blaine a generic NYC mug for Valentine's Day because Blaine has "always wanted one". It's all a little bland if you ask Rachel. She's always been one for exaggeration and dramatics, a cup didn't seem like enough to her.
Kurt turns around to look at her. He's wearing a ridiculous top hat and a wool trench coat. He kind-of looks like Sherlock Holmes, but Rachel doesn't want to offend him, so she just smiles. He continues to look at her sternly before sighing.
"Rachel, he sorta does have a claim on you."
Rachel bristles at Kurt's response. "What do you mean?"
Kurt narrows his eyes and Rachel senses that he's starting to piece some of the thoughts together that Rachel hasn't even strung together yet. "You guys are married. Husband and wife. Did you forget that?"
Rachel tenses.
She kind-of did.
Finn forgets about Valentine's Day and Rachel pretends not to remember. It's easier than acknowledging the fact that she'd rather spend an evening alone then spend it with someone who she doesn't even know anymore.
It's not the fact that Finn's away or the fact that Rachel spends more time with Kurt than she does Finn. It's the fact that they don't communicate, that they never spoke about anything besides making it, and now they don't seem to know what to say. It's the fact that Finn thinks she wants a husband instead of a companion, it's the fact that they both don't care very much about talking or figuring out who the other person is turning into. They're both trying and that should count for something, but Rachel can see that Finn doesn't like the fact that he's resigned himself to "husband".
Rachel isn't very fond of the fact that she's resigned herself to "wife".
For the first time (and most likely not the last) Rachel finds her thoughts straying to Quinn. She wonders if Quinn found her happy ending, if she finally blossomed into the social girl she could have always been. Rachel wonders if she's popular or a bookworm, if her classes are difficult or easy, if she still speaks to Santana.
Most of all, Rachel wonders if Quinn feels free. Free of obligations, free of anger, free of the shackles that binded her to be ordinary.
Rachel thinks about emailing her before hesitating. She wasn't quite ready to hear Quinn's 'I told you so'.
Rachel and Finn continue their dance for the next few months. Neither of them say anything. It becomes so easy that Rachel feels like she just blinked and ended up at her freshman graduation.
Finn doesn't show up because he doesn't want to miss work. It's both the problem and the solution to their current circumstances, and Rachel can't help herself when she blows up at him later. Every little thing she'd ever held in comes bursting out and she almost regrets it. She almost regrets saying anything until Finn looks at her. He looks so confused and tired. He looks at Rachel like she's being crazy and selfish and it just spurs her on until she has nothing left to say except for 'sorry'.
She's about to say it when Finn stands up and does some weird gesture with his hands. He flings his head around as if he's trying to make sense of everything before settling on Rachel. He's so much like the boy she loved back in High School. He's caring and gentle and he genuinely loves her, but Rachel is starting to believe that marriage is more than that. Marriage is about hard work and about being ready, both of which they didn't seem to possess.
"I thought you were happy, Rach?"
It's enough to set her off and cool her down all at once. The fact that he took silence as happiness is enough to let Rachel know that this marriage was ill advised. It was probably a mistake, and there was no point in denying it.
Rachel makes the decision to tell Finn right then and there. She decides that she's going to tell him about how he works somewhere that he hates, that they barely play music anymore, that they don't even try to have sex. She decides to tell him about the boy named Brody who kissed her last week and made her feel more alive than the past eight months ever did. She wants to tell him about how her future was written in the stars and nowhere was it mentioned that she'd be unhappy.
She wants to tell him that people fall out of love every day and that she got so caught up in being all the wrong things that she forget how to be herself. She's going to tell him about how Kurt and Blaine still act like they're in high school, how their affection is sickening to see in person, how her and Finn haven't been like that since they started trying to survive New York.
She's about to speak and let it all out when her phone rings. She picks it up when she notices that it's her daddy Leroy, and she let's Finn pick her up as she listens to her daddy tell her how her dad passed away.
It's ironic: the phone call saves their marriage.
The irony: it destroys Rachel in the process.
They stay together because Rachel would rather be around someone than be alone.
Finn helps her plan, attend, and coordinate the funeral. He helps her pick a white casket, he helps her go through her box of old photos, he even speaks to Mr. Schue and gets the new glee club to perform some sort of medley.
In all honesty, she's tuning the whole horrendous thing out. The medley, the fact that Finn looks more happy watching Glee than he has ever looked with her, the obnoxious reality that people kept coming up to her saying things like, "It gets easier" and "I know how you're feeling" and "you're so strong".
It takes all of Rachel's willpower to not punch any of them in the face. Instead, she excuses herself to the ladies restroom. It's easier to hide in a bathroom than it is to listen to that Marley girl sing Mariah Carey's Bye Bye or to hear old classmates talk about her father (like they knew him, like they knew her).
Rachel sneaks her way into the bathroom and stealthily locks the door behind her. She had every intention of spending the rest of this awful night alone and without any more words of pity. She exhales in relief and doesn't hear the stall unlock behind her.
Santana stumbles out of the bathroom looking like how Rachel wants to feel. She gives Rachel a curt nod and stumbles to the sink next to Rachel before sizing her up and down.
"Berry, you look like shit."
Rachel smiles because she could always count on Santana to never change. "Don't start sweet talking me now, Lopez."
Santana barks out a laugh. Rachel's close enough to smell the liquor and far away enough to be jealous that she's not Santana. "Don't hate me because I keeps it real."
"The only thing you've ever kept is your juvie record."
Santana placed a hand over heart and did her best to look solemn. "Your lies cut me real deep, Berry." Santana pulls out a flask from the clutch that she's been holding (the one Rachel didn't even notice until now). Santana unscrewed the cap and extends her arm towards Rachel. "Here."
Rachel scrunched her nose up in distaste. "What is that?"
"Apple juice." Santana quips. She rolls her eyes when Rachel continues to eye her warily. "What the hell does it look like?"
Rachel grabs the flask and holds it up towards her nose. She grimaces when she's overcome with the smell of whiskey. "Why are you giving this to me?"
Santana shrugs. "Why do I ever do anything?"
"To kill me?"
Santana snorts. She shakes her head before softening her gaze. It catches Rachel off guard because the only time she's ever seen Santana look so vulnerable was when she was around Brittany. "Look, Berry, I'm not going to say that I get it, because I don't. But I will say this...when my grandmother rejected me, everything seemed a lot better and easier to handle when I was numb. Even if it was only for a little while."
Rachel eyes the flask and soaks up Santana's words. It's the most sincere that Rachel has ever heard Santana be and it gives Rachel the courage to down the rest of what's left in the flask.
It's not until later that Rachel finds out how right Santana was.
It isn't until Rachel's crying behind the reception hall, her mind foggy from alcohol and her body sagging with defeat, that Rachel wonders if Quinn felt this way too. She wonders if Quinn is the one who helped Santana feel better just like Santana helped Rachel.
Again, Rachel wonders if Quinn is happy.
She hopes that Quinn is and Rachel hates that she isn't.
It takes three months for Finn to realize that Rachel isn't going to be Rachel again.
She currently spends less time with Finn than she ever did. She spends more time at Kurt's apartment, at school, and more time with Brody than she even spends thinking about Finn. He's trying to be a good husband and a good partner, but Rachel isn't trying at all.
Rachel barely speaks when she's at home and when she does, it's usually brash, harsh, and negative. Finn doesn't seem to know what to make of her and he doesn't really seem to want to try. He isn't ready to give up yet, that much is clear, because he sticks with Rachel and it just makes her angrier.
She doesn't want Finn to stick with her. She doesn't want to be nineteen and married, she doesn't want to be an "us" anymore, she just wants to be an "I".
Rachel starts doing more and more things that are not very Rachel-like. She starts hooking up with Brody once a week. It isn't love, but it's hot and he knows how to make her feel good. She makes sure to go with him to bars where she can feel numb for just a few hours. She kisses men and women, she let's Cassandra July grope her during rehearsals. In all honesty, it's easier to be this Rachel. It's easier to not give a flying fuck.
Finn doesn't catch the hint. He starts trying harder and Rachel can't stand it.
Sometimes, she feels like she's drowning and that she can't say anything. It makes Rachel angry, so very angry to have to share everything with Finn, for Finn to constantly get what he wants.
For once, Rachel just wants to be selfish and get away with it.
It takes three more months for Finn to enroll in a few acting classes at the local community college. He says it's because he refuses to be someone who just "sat around waiting for their wife to be a wife again".
Rachel can't help but be relieved, she didn't need Finn hovering over her constantly.
She didn't need a husband.
Marriage: a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other.
Rachel can't help but wonder if this is where they always went wrong, because instead of pledging, it seems as though they just resigned themselves to one another.
Rachel tries not to think about her dad Hiram. It's easier that way. She pushes the memories of birthdays and christmases and days where it was just her dad and her so far down, that Rachel almost makes herself believe they don't exist.
She certainly gets points for trying.
Finn keeps telling her that she isn't-that this isn't healthy.
Rachel wants to tell him that staying in a marriage that was never going to last because you were afraid of being a failure isn't healthy either.
Rachel doesn't say anything because she's afraid, too.
Rachel pushes everything away and focuses on school, ignoring Finn, and pretending to be old Rachel. She spends so much time focused on all of that that before she knows it, it's the anniversary of her dad's death.
It's scary how time works. It's scary that it doesn't matter if you're ready or happy or scared, life will still continue without you, and if you're lucky, you'll get to go with it.
The unlucky ones stayed stuck.
Rachel couldn't be one of the unlucky ones.
It hits her then that she was pushing everyone and everything away because she didn't want to except the fact that her dad was gone. It occurs to her that no matter how hard she tries, no matter how hard she hurts or how much life burns, he's never going to come back. Her dad will only ever be alive in her dreams.
It's enough to crumple Rachel into a sobbing mess.
She's heaving because she can't breathe. She's gasping for air because even though a part of her was aware that her father was dead, this small unreasonable part of her was still under the impression that if she didn't acknowledge it, he'd just come back to her one day and pretend like this whole thing was one big joke.
It's devastating, denial. It alludes and allures you, it makes you believe that all things are possible as long as you have faith. But faith is the falsest of all things, because not even faith could provide Rachel with her perfect happy ending.
Her perfect ending would probably never be perfect.
Her dad would never be anything but dead.
Finn couldn't be anything other than her husband.
And Rachel was doomed to be crushed by all of that.
Rachel hurries home after her panic attack. She decides that she's going to try and do it right, that she's tired of feeling so fucking lonely. Rachel decides that she's going to try and make this whole thing between her and Finn work because he's trying, and God, Rachel forgot how to try somewhere along the way.
She belonged with Finn, he loved her and he was trying everywhere that Rachel wasn't. For the longest time she felt like their life was just a song that was on repeat. It hits her now that she was the one that was preventing either of them from pressing play.
Rachel pushes through the doors, feeling a little bit like her old self with her old smirk. She's ready to kiss Finn, to tell him that she's ready to try again.
What she isn't ready for is a half-empty apartment.
What she isn't ready for is a note and a ring.
What she isn't ready for is a girl named Stacy who Finn had met in Lima during Rachel's father's funeral. A girl who stole his heart and then stole her husband.
What Rachel isn't ready for is the fact that she's finally alone, and she isn't quite sure if that's what she wants to be.
The crazy thing is though, is that she thought something like this would crush her. And it does, for a while. But Rachel still wakes up every morning and goes to sleep every night, and sometimes if she's lucky, she gets lost in pretending like nothing has changed.
Except that it has.
It's the little things, she realizes, that knock the wind out of her and remind Rachel that it's sometimes difficult to remember to breathe. It's easy for Rachel to get distracted with the minor details of each day. It's easy for her to be consumed with the idea of "constantly moving forward"; it's easy to pretend, until something comes along that crushes her all over again.
It's remembering to buy lactose free milk, and never quite deleting Finn's number from her phone. It's losing a hat (that was never hers and could never be hers). It's forgetting why she used to smile during Journey, Bon Jovi, or any of the classics, really. It's thinking endlessly and in circles whenever there is silence.
It's forgetting to say, "they loved me once" instead of "he loves me now."
It's the moments where Rachel has to convince herself that it won't always feel like she's suffocating, like she's a failure.
Kurt offers Rachel the second room that Blaine usually took when he visited. Rachel takes it in a heartbeat, she packs all of her things and gets ready to leave her old life behind. It'd been three months since Finn had left her and she was ready to start this new school year as a new Rachel.
She still felt like a failure, but with Kurt around her, Rachel felt like it was less obvious.
At least she had her health, right?
It's her moving day and literally three days before her Junior year at NYADA when Quinn Fabray makes a startling return to her life.
She's packing-more like burying-everything from the past two years (everything that she'd like not to remember) when she hears a knock on her door. She yells at Kurt that she's got it (because, really, she thinks that she finally does) and heads to her door for what's probably the last time.
She opens it in a rush and is completely shocked to see Quinn Fabray standing in front of her. Mostly because Quinn had no idea where she even lived, partly because Quinn Fabray has never spoken to her in the past two years and it's strangely alarming for her to be on Rachel's doorstep.
Quinn leans on the cane in her right hand and Rachel immediately feels her heart sink in guilt. Quinn notices and cuts Rachel off before she can apologize.
"I heard you needed some extra hands while moving?" Quinn asks, a tight smile on her lips.
Rachel leans against the door frame and crosses her arms. "So you decided to just take a train from New Haven to New York on a whim?"
Quinn shrugged. She lifted the carrier that was holding the two coffees in her left hand. "And I brought coffee."
"That's thoughtful, Quinn, but I can't. I have heart palpitations."
Quinn smirked. "That's sweet, Berry. It's nice to know I give you heart palpitations."
Rachel frowned. She shook her head furiously, everything about her completely caught off guard by Quinn's statement. "Excuse me for being impolite, Quinn, but you have to understand my...hesitation. I haven't spoken to you in two years and you show up acting as though we're best friends."
Quinn sighs and decides to cut straight to the chase. Quinn starts fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Santana wrote me. About the divorce."
"So you're here to gloat?" Rachel asked, her hands moving to her hips in anger.
Rachel had been in contact with Santana ever since her dad's death. The girl was often crass and sometimes cruel, but she understood Rachel in a way that most didn't.
Quinn grabbed a paper that was squeezed in between the two coffees and shoved a newspaper article in front of Rachel's face. "I'm here to wallow with someone else who understands."
Rachel grabbed the article from Quinn's hands. She barely has time to absorb the sentences, 'Quinn Fabray files for divorce from Yale alumni Morgan Wilson' and 'she cites irreconcilable differences, Wilson (who is the son of the Yale Dean Scott Wilson) states that Mrs. Fabray never showed any sign of unhappiness. In fact, he was caught unaware when she fled from their marriage after only six months', before Kurt comes loudly over to the door.
"Rachel, who the hell is at the door? We still have to do more pack...ing." Kurt trails off as he spots Quinn. He shoots Rachel a confused look as to why the former Ice Queen of their high school is standing near her. He's two seconds away from grabbing the scissors from the floor to use them to defend himself when Rachel steps to the side and gestures for Quinn to come in.
"It's a friend."
Rachel is fascinated to learn that somehow her and Quinn both managed to take the same route in life. It was amazing that after all these years, they still were basically the same person. It's cleansing, in a way, to learn that your biggest competition turned out to be just like you did.
It makes Rachel feel like less of a failure.
It makes Quinn seem more real.
"So, because of this whole debacle, I'm actually transferring to NYU for my last two years."
Kurt dropped his mouth open in surprise. "You're kidding. They forced you to leave?"
Quinn hesitates. She looks at Rachel as if she'd much rather be sharing this knowledge with her. Eventually she caves and gives Kurt a tight smile. "Not exactly. The only thing they did was make my living...hard. It's the students at Yale who were starting to become a problem. Morgan is used to getting what he wants, and he's very good at making that happen."
"Where are you going to live?" Rachel asks before she can stop herself. She pulls away from the little circle they've formed on the floor and pretends to be interested in the lint on her jeans.
"I don't know." Quinn answers honestly.
Rachel looks over at Kurt (who's already shaking his head in a firm no) before looking back at Quinn. "You can stay with us."
"Really?" Quinn asks in surprise at the same time that Kurt exclaims "No!"
Kurt flushed as he tried to backtrack. "I mean, not that you're not great, Quinn. It's jus-"
"I understand." Quinn answers before Kurt can finish.
Rachel shakes her head. She's tired of being the Rachel who only did things for herself, she needed to try and be the old Rachel again. "Actually, Quinn, you can stay with us. As long as you don't mind sharing a room with me."
Quinn raises her eyebrows in amusement while Kurt looks like he's ready to strangle her. Rachel laughs in response (like a full belly, whole hearted laugh) and it's the first time Kurt has heard her laugh like that in months, so he relents. Maybe Quinn will be good for Rachel, he thinks.
"Okay, you can stay with us in Rachel's room." Kurt answers. "As long as you can pay half of her rent and promise to not be a bitch again, you're in."
"Kurt," Rachel scolds, her eyebrows furrowing in disappointment. "That's rude."
Quinn stuck her hands up to keep the two divas from arguing. "No, no, Rachel, it's cool. I get it, and I can promise to do my best."
Kurt shrugs. "Then you're in."
It's weird at first. Rachel's not completely sure how she went from sharing a bed with her ex-husband to sharing a bed with the girl she initially stole him from. She honestly doesn't know if she should hate Quinn or like her. A big part of her is tired of all the hating though, but this small part of her still holds on to everything Quinn ever did to her.
Regardless, Quinn was a pretty decent roommate. She cleaned daily, she cooked when she could, she would pick up movies or books that she thought Rachel and Kurt might like and she had the tendency to leave little notes everywhere.
Rachel could tell that Kurt didn't want to admit it, but Quinn grew on him very quickly. It only took a month for him to turn from her biggest hater into her biggest supporter. In fact, Rachel was almost certain that if Kurt wasn't gay, he would have been all up in that.
Quinn didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to embrace it with grace and poise and everything else a Powerpuff girl possessed.
It took a month for Quinn to become employed at the NYU library. She was majoring in literature it seemed to fit her personality perfectly. When Quinn wasn't at home she was usually in that library. As a consequence, Rachel started finding herself in that library more often than not.
"So what did you say?" Quinn asked. She was wearing a blue cardigan and a white baby doll dress. It was what she called her "librarian getup".
Rachel shrugged and handed Quinn another book from the return rack. "I told him that drunken booty calls don't equal exhibitionist behavior."
Quinn laughed, her shoulders shaking as she tried to keep herself quiet. "Seriously, only you could pick a guy who likes to perform naked in public."
"At least he wasn't the Dean's son." Rachel retaliated.
Quinn looked at Rachel, her eyes soft and amused. "Touché."
It was nearing Christmas time when Kurt finally admitted out loud that Quinn was a good fit. He had noticed it beforehand, but he wasn't willing to give Quinn power before he was ready.
"I like Quinn." Kurt stated one December morning over breakfast. He looked down at his Kelloggs cereal and decided it was too mushy to be edible anymore.
Rachel looked up from her daily crossword. She had her dance class in the afternoon on Thursday's which meant that she could actually have breakfast with Kurt before he headed to his fashion internship. He was working hard at being in the world of fashion and still succeeded at NYADA, it was killing him, Rachel knew, but it was also saving him.
"I should hope so, she's only been living with us for almost four months."
Kurt rolled his eyes in annoyance. "No, seriously, Rachel. She's good for you. You've been better with her around."
Rachel smiled. "I know."
Rachel pushed her way through the double doors at the NYU library. With it being Winter, she decided it would be much safer to walk Quinn home after work. The sky darkened earlier than usual and it gave Rachel the perfect excuse to get some exercise, not think about how Hanukkah was her dad's favorite holiday, and walk Quinn home.
Rachel grinned when she spotted Quinn saying goodbye to the other librarians. She waltzed up towards Quinn, the grin still on her face. "Good evening, my lady, your chariot awaits."
Quinn laughed as Rachel curtsied. She raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Do tell, what is my chariot exactly?"
Rachel pointed to her feet as if it was obvious. "Why these feet, of course!"
"You're such a goofball."
Rachel wagged her finger at Quinn. "Ah, but I'm the best goofball you know."
Quinn followed Rachel towards the double doors and laughed as they pushed through them. "You're right about thaaaaat." Quinn finished the last part of her sentence with a bit of a wail.
Rachel looked over at Quinn concerned. "What's wrong?"
Quinn swatted Rachel's arm dismissively. "It's nothing."
Rachel didn't buy it but continued to walk, anyway. They talked about school as usual, Quinn told her about a new story that she was writing. This one was about a girl named Aurora who suffered from insomnia. Rachel laughed as Quinn continued to tell her story. Quinn just had such a way with words, it was no wonder she was studying to be a writer.
"And then she wakes uuuu-ow." Quinn stops in pain. She bends over and places her hand on the small of her back.
It isn't until Rachel gets closer that she notices the thin layer of sweat covering Quinn's forehead. "Quinn, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing," Quinn huffed.
"Quinn." Rachel replied sternly.
Quinn nodded, getting the point. "I just-it hurts to walk in the cold sometimes, because of the accident."
Rachel stops moving when she realizes what Quinn is saying. "Where's your cane, Quinn?"
"Not with me." Rachel stared at Quinn unwaveringly until the blonde eventually rolled her eyes in defeat. "I wanted to do this on my own, okay? I don't want-I don't need that stupid cane."
Rachel deflated. "Quinn, it's okay to need something."
"No, it's not."
Rachel didn't want to get into an argument, not out in the middle of freezing weather. She didn't want to have this conversation when Quinn looked like she was going to keel over from the exertion that this walk was causing her. So she walked until she was standing in front of Quinn and then turned around so that her back was facing Quinn's front.
"Hop on."
Quinn laughed. "You're the size of a child, you have got to be kidding me."
Rachel didn't budge. "We're wasting time."
"Oh my God, you're serious?"
Rachel shrugged. "It's either this or you wait for me to go grab your cane."
"It's eleven blocks, Rachel! Are you crazy?"
"I'm waiting."
Rachel heard Quinn sigh before she felt Quinn grab onto her shoulders and leap. Rachel caught her fairly quickly, jumping to make sure Quinn was on there securely. Quinn was warm and her hair ticked Rachel's forehead. Her perfume was fruity and it made Rachel dizzy, she wasn't really sure why, but everything felt like a little too much for the moment.
"Hold on tight, Quinn."
"This is so embarrassing." Rachel felt Quinn's hot breath against her ear and she shivered in response.
Rachel laughed and started walking towards their apartment. "Yeah, well, maybe next time you'll remember to bring your cane."
"I hope you cave under my massive weight."
Rachel snorted, her grip tightening on Quinn's legs as they passed a large group of bums. "If you're massive than the granola bar I had for breakfast must be gargantuan."
Quinn groaned. "I hate you."
"Naw, you don't hate me. But you will hate me after I tell Kurt."
Quinn started wailing over dramatically and all Rachel could do was laugh in response.
One block down, ten more to go.
Damn, it sure was cold.