Angela awoke startled, her breathing quickened and her heart racing at a
million miles an hour. There was something about the dreams that seemed so
real, that it scared her beyond rational thought. She'd awake with the
same throbbing between her legs, and the void in the pit of her stomach.
Angela would feel the cold sweat dripping from her brow as she tried not to
recoil in horror at the arm around her.
And then she'd remember that it was Tony's body spooned against hers, his arms encircling her and holding her tightly and lovingly. She'd wonder how she ever thought they might be Greg's, because he never held her, let alone with such love.
Tony's hands would be resting, palms flat against her now curved stomach, and his body would be aligned perfectly with hers. Every night they went to sleep this way, and every morning they'd awake the same way.
"You okay?" Tony asked, moving his one hand to her shoulder.
"I'm fine," she lied. "Just woke up very suddenly."
"You had another nightmare, didn't you?" Tony pressed a kiss against her shoulder.
"It wasn't as bad as some of the other ones," she said as she rolled onto her other side to face him.
"Still," he said, wiping a tear from her face, "it isn't good for you to be dealing with all of this."
Angela knew what Tony was saying-she wasn't sleeping as well as she should have been and she was finding it difficult to relax. Most of the house reminded her still of Greg. The living room still made her stomach do flips.
"I'm okay."
"You're underweight. Still." Tony ran his finger over her abdomen, and straightened the silk that swaddled her body.
"I'm trying," she said truthfully. Angela was doing her best to eat healthily and in abundance, but she still felt the nervousness sometimes and more than anything, she was certain that Greg would be back.
Tony pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You're almost six months pregnant, and you're barely showing," he observed. "The doctor says the baby is growing, and it is still healthy, but that you should be gaining more weight, and that ultimately the baby will grow bigger and healthier."
"I know." Angela closed her eyes, imagining the little life inside of her.
"I'm going to make you a super-mom's breakfast," Tony declared, disentangling their fingers and getting out of bed. "All your favourites."
"You are way too good to me," Angela said, smiling at him as he put on his slippers.
"I wish I could do more for you," he said honestly as he opened the door. "Sleep for a little bit more, and before you know it, I'll be back with food."
2***
"Mona, I'm worried," Tony said as he organized the ingredients for Angela's breakfast.
"I know.You should have seen her when she was pregnant with Jonathon-she was a RV waiting to happen." Mona laughed at her own joke as she poured the cream into her coffee. "In fact, the doctor said she gained too much weight last time-said she should stop using the excuse that she was eating for two."
"Well we don't have that problem this time." Tony sighed. He realized that the greatest contributing factor to Angela's diminished appetite was that she was still scared and stressed from all of the happenings from the past year. He had hoped that he would be able to help her rebuild her life, but Angela seemed reluctant to talk to anyone about her dreams, and she barely spoke to her doctor about them.
"And she has you cooking for her," Mona teased. "You'd think by now she'd be back to RV size, waiting on becoming a small house."
"I don't know what to do.I want to help her but I'm not sure how to. There are all these things I'd like to do-all these expectant parent things. And I don't want to overstep the bounds. I don't want her to feel like I'm pushing her to let me in to her life, or that I expect to be this baby's father." Ultimately, he wanted Angela to welcome him, open armed, into her life, and to tell him that she wanted him to adopt the baby, but Tony refused to push her. He'd just have to wait for her to give him the go- ahead.
"Even if she hasn't said it, you know that is what she wants of you, right? She loves you Tony, and although my daughter isn't very good at showing things like that all of the time, she does tell me. But you have to remember what that bastard put her through. For the longest time she was scared to come home. Angela didn't want to go to sleep, for fear of what might wake her."
Tony cringed at the description. Angela had barely spoken to him about what Greg had done to her, and although he knew that she had been raped and abused both emotionally and physically, he wasn't sure of what he could do to make her feel better.
"She's still nervous when she's in the living room.Have you noticed? And she's paranoid about going to bed still-have you been able to spend one night out of her room?"
Tony thought about it. "I haven't really wanted to," he began. "But no, we always go to bed together."
"What kind of things do you want to do? You said you want to do the 'expectant parents' stuff."
"I have a list. A huge list," Tony laughed. "More than anything I want to know that Angela trusts me, so I know that I am helping by being here, and not hurting."
Mona stood up and walked over to Tony who was now cooking bacon and scrambling eggs. "She couldn't be doing anything right now, if it weren't for you Tony. Angela trusts you more than she's trusted anyone in her entire life, and she loves you with everything she has in her. But she's still scared because the last man she let in tried to destroy her."
"I know," Tony said quietly. "Hey, Mona, I have a plan. Do you think you might be able to help?"
3***
"You kids have fun," Mona laughed. "Not too much though-remember, baby on board." She winked at them as she went to the door, and then stopped. "Wait-it's you two. Okay, try not to bore that baby into delivery now, okay?"
"Thanks Mona," Tony said sarcastically. "You really know how to boost a guy's confidence!"
Angela laughed. "You have enough ego already. You don't need any boosting." Angela patted Tony's hand and squeezed it. "Mother?" When Mona turned to look back towards the table, Angela began again. "Thank you for taking the kids for the weekend. We really do appreciate it. It will give us a chance to get the nursery finished and to just relax."
"You're welcome honey," Mona said as she pulled the door closed behind her.
"You'd think she'd never take the kids camping again.considering Jonathon's last find."
"Well, she's braver than I am," Angela agreed.
*~*~*~
"Ang, can I borrow you for a minute?" Tony had been setting up the living room for the first phase of his plan for more than an hour. He'd been working at a hectic pace the entire time.
"Sure. One sec," she called down the stairs. He had managed to convince her to figure out how she wanted the nursery organized so he could go and start building the furniture that they'd chosen.
Making her way carefully down the stairs, Angela gasped at the sight of the living room.
"What did you do to my living room?" She grinned as she saw the look of disappointment on his face. "Okay okay, you big baby. *OUR* living room."
"Better.We'll work on that." Tony smiled as he led her to the couch.
"So, what are you doing?"
The couch was covered in plastic, and there were two large bowls on the table, as well as a jar of Vaseline and what appeared to be a bikini.
"This looks all too strange," she teased, wondering what the connection between the things on the table and the cover on the couch was.
"Get your mind out of the gutter," Tony said, acting offended.
"Well you should feel complimented that my mind wanders to the gutter with you," she commented casually. "So, what's going on?"
"You are going to go and get changed into the bikini here, and I promise, I'll leave the living room. When you come out, I want you to lie down on the couch, cover from your hips down with a towel, and if you want, there's a second towel to cover.ya know, your upper body." Tony blushed slightly, realizing that Angela would be wearing a bikini in their living room, with nobody home except for him, and despite her burgeoning pregnant belly, he still felt more than a little arousal at the idea of a scantily clad Angela.
"I'm supposed to put on a bikini?" When Tony nodded, Angela felt the go- ahead to continue her rant. "I don't put on a bikini when I'm, ya know, thin, never mind six months pregnant."
"Well now you do," Tony said, entering the kitchen. "Call me when you're ready." Angela stood in the middle of the living room for a minute, unsure of what to make of Tony's request. There was no doubt in her mind that she trusted him explicitly, but a part of her couldn't help but wonder what he was up to, and how much he had to do with Mona taking the kids away.
4*****
"Okay Tony, get your butt in here before I change my mind about all this," Angela called to him, slightly amused by all the secrecy to whatever he was doing.
"Eh oh, oh eh, no changing your mind until you know what's happening," Tony came through the door, having taken his shirt off.
"You're stripping now," she asked, swallowing a breath at the sight of his rippled chest-how the hell did he do it?
"Well, once you see how messy this will be, I'm sure you'll understand," he said mischievously.
Kneeling beside her on the floor in front of the sofa, Tony carefully tucked the towel underneath her, more than a little impressed that she opted out of covering her chest with a towel as well. "Lift your hips a bit," he asked as he tucked.
"For you, anything," Angela replied seductively.
He felt a blush creep over him as he tucked, wishing things weren't still so very near to platonic between them.
"Here's what's going to happen," he said confidently-his voice nearly betraying him. He didn't feel as confident as he was trying to let her believe but he was hoping she wouldn't call his bluff. "You get to lay there and first we'll rub some Vaseline on your stomach."
"Tony, it's been awhile since I've done this, but Vaseline? And doesn't it usually go somewhere else?"
"Your mind is back in the gutter again, isn't it?" He laughed as he picked up the container of gooey substance. "We're making a papier-mâché plaster of your stomach, so when the baby gets older he or she can see what it was like when they were still like this," he said softly.
Angela couldn't believe that Tony was being so sweet about all of this. He was doing all these wonderfully romantic and fatherly things, despite the circumstances of her pregnancy.
"You don't mind, do you? I thought it would be nice for us to.ya know?" Tony looked down at her, suddenly second guessing his idea.
"I think it's wonderful," Angela said looking up at him adoringly.
"So we start with the Vaseline so you don't have this stuff stuck to you forever, and then we'll start putting on the paper." Tony began to tenderly rub a thin layer of the goo on her stomach, carefully massaging her as he spread it over. "I tried to use warmer water so it wouldn't be too cold for you," he said as he picked up the first piece, "so I hope it worked."
"You're too great," Angela said, running her finger over his shoulder. "What do I get to do now?"
"Lay back and relax. I'll do this and you can just relax a bit, okay?"
"Sounds heavenly," Angela said, watching him very lovingly applying the paper to her stomach.
*~*~*~*
"It's getting hard now," Angela said as she tried to flex a stomach muscle.
"Good, so I won't have to hold you hostage much longer," Tony laughed. He moved closer to her as he pressed a kiss on her forehead. "You up for more food now?"
"I love how you make it impossible for me to move, and then force feed me," Angela grinned. "Sure, food sounds good."
"Well I have a special treat. Sounds very cliché, but we have chocolate sauce and strawberries, kiwis, banana and we also have cheese and crackers. You get to choose what you'd like first."
Angela's eyes lit up with the mere suggestion of the food. He had chosen her favourite 'snack food' appetizers. "You really know how to spoil a girl."
"If only you knew," Tony said slyly, then realizing he hadn't intended to make such a comment. The last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable. "I'm.I'm sorry," he said, rising to his feet to get the food.
"Tony?" Angela looked up at him, and felt horrible for his sudden reluctance to treat her like he always had.
"Yeah?"
"You know that I'm not going to break if you flirt with me, right? You know that I'm not a mess 100% of the time?"
He felt embarrassed at the implication that she needed to feel bad for him. "I think we need to remember our priorities-you need to gain weight and we need to get things ready for baby Bower soon."
Ducking into the kitchen to get the food, Tony felt sudden remorse for his comments. It seemed like no matter how hard he tried to keep things simple between them, he'd screw it up, and put them in an uncomfortable situation.
"Tony?" Angela called into him. Picking up the trays he had organized, Tony quickly made his way back to the living room.
"Yeah Ang, everything okay?"
"Just fine. Well, sort of. I want to talk to you for a minute though." Angela shifted slightly and looked at him. When she was sure she had his attention, she began. "I know you're trying your best to keep things.comfortable.between us. I really appreciate how sweet you are. Really. I love that you're trying to make me feel like there isn't any pressure to get things back to normal, but I feel the pressure I'm putting on myself."
Tony wasn't sure he understood what she was saying. It seemed too much like there was still ambiguity in their relationship.
"I really can't thank you enough for being here for me, and caring as much as you do for me and this baby," Angela fought the threatening tears. "You have been absolutely amazing."
"You don't need to thank me Angela-I wouldn't want it be any other way." Tony took her hand in his and waited for her to acknowledge his words. "I know that I've been walking on eggshells lately, but I'm scared to pressure you. And I know you think that seems silly, but I can see what this whole mess has done to you, and I don't want to make it worse."
"You couldn't make it worse if you tried," Angela said pensively. "You've helped me come so far, and you've been wonderful with keeping everyone functional around here."
"Well, we're family. Family does that." Tony didn't mean to seem so non- committal, but he felt the need to let her speak.
"But you know you're more than just family, right?" Searching his eyes, she tried to decide a way to say what she was feeling without coming across as too aggressive. She wasn't ready to make love with him yet, but Angela wasn't sure when she would be either.
"I'm your housekeeper too," he said wryly. "Best paid help on the eastern seaboard."
"I love you," she said softly. "I love you, and would never think of you as just my housekeeper. I've never been able to." Tears began to trail down her face, leaving streams of water that glistened in the light.
"Shhh, don't cry," Tony moved closer to her, wiping the tears with his thumb. "I know. I know what you're saying and I understand. You've never been just my boss-from the minute you opened the door that first day.I felt this warmth, or something, for you, and it's only gotten stronger. I've never felt like this before."
"If we don't get this plaster off me soon, I might crack it with my tears," she observed, trying to lighten the mood.
"We wouldn't want that, now would we?" Tony grabbed a face cloth from the table and dampened it while his other hand slowly started to lift the papier-mâché. Rubbing in small circular motions over the skin he revealed, Tony smiled when the mock belly maintained its shape.
"Looks good," Angela said, sitting up. "But I'm glad to be free."
"It does look pretty good, doesn't it?" Tony admired their handiwork. "Let's set this down to dry, and if you'd like to grab a shower, you could. I'll get today's next activity underway while I'm waiting."
Angela laughed. "I feel like I'm in summer camp."
"Just don't go kissing strange boys behind rocks and everything will be okay." Tony felt more than a little nostalgic at the memory and more than a distracted at the sight of Angela moving away from him, in only a bikini. How did she do that to him? How could she make him so incredibly hot for her when she's six months pregnant?
"Aw, but it worked out so well for me last time," she teased as she made her way up the stairs.
5****
"Since you didn't say anything about dress code, I decided I'd stick to good ol' fashion long skirt and blouse, okay?" Angela walked into the living room, shocked to see fake palm trees once again decorating the living room. "What is all this?"
"Well, I've decided we needed a nice peaceful evening and the best way to do that would be to be on vacation. So, welcome to Hawaii." Tony picked up the grass skirt he had bought at the costume store and fastened it right below Angela's belly. That was the first time she had seen his grass skirt, and sandals.
"So a night in Hawaii, huh?"
"Complete with a pig roast and dancing. And a lei for you, m'lady." Tony placed pink flower lei over her head, and then decided to take her on a tour of the 'island'. "Come with me," he said, taking her to the area near the tv. "This is the fortune house-here you can see the future, and the present, broadcast via the psychic Buddha network." Angela laughed at Tony's vastly mistaken interpretation of Hawaiian culture, and the way he managed to be adorable, even when he was intentionally making an ass of himself. "And this," he said, pointing towards the fire, "Is the volcano where we worship our Gods. But we've run out of virgins to sacrifice. Now we use whoever we can find." Tony winked at Angela as he led her behind the dining table and towards the bay window. "You have to love the ocean view," he said, pointing towards their neighbor's swimming pool.
"Wow, do you see that sea monster? It must be.three feet long and.green and pink?"
"Didn't ya know, Heather got new floaties for the kids," Tony smiled, knowing she was finally starting to get into the role-play.
"It's a monster," Angela corrected. "What's that," She asked, pointing towards the corner.
"Oh, that.Yeah, it was supposed to be somewhere else, but I decided not to use it." Tony anxiously tried to move her back towards the couch, which he had turned to face the 'volcano' and the 'ocean'. "Your wicker chair, madam."
"You're too much," Angela laughed. "Well this is quite the tropical night."
"It is, and the temperature's just right."
"Thanks to mother thermostat, no doubt."
"Ahem," Tony corrected. "Mother Earth."
"Yes, of course. So what was that rock all about?"
"Nothing, really," Tony said, lying.
"Yeah, right." Moving closer, Angela moved her face very close to Tony's ear. He could feel her breathing tickling his neck. "What was the rock all about?"
Taking a big breath, Tony wondered if he was able to compose rational thought. "It was.uh.it was supposed to be kissing rock."
"Does the island have a myth for it too?" Her lips had moved even closer still, brushing against his ear lobe.
"It's supposed to mean.uh.The first person you kiss there will be your soulmate for life." Tony could feel his arousal pressing against his pants and was certain she'd have to move further away from him if he were to avoid any mishaps. He felt like a twelve year old boy.
Taking his hand, she led him over to the corner and pulled him into an embrace. "We might as well just seal the deal," she said seductively, as her lips pressed against his, her tongue demanding entry.
Her hands rested firmly at the base of his neck, while his wrapped around her to the small of her back, holding her against him.
"There," she said with finality. "Now we know that we can take as much time as we want, and fate will still have us lined up for one another."
Tony stood there looking at her, his mouth agape. He and Angela had never shared a kiss like that, with such passion and intensity.
"Yeah," he agreed, going back to the couch.
"I love what the island does for us," Angela sighed, as she took his hand in hers and watched the fire crackle.
6*****
Waking up, his arms in their standard position, Angela shifted quickly to her other side and borrowed Tony's hands again. Resting them on her belly, she waited for him to wake up.
"Eh oh, Angela, if you wanted a snack I'd get up. You don't need to keep poking me," he said groggily.
"How do you think I feel?" Angela grinned, waiting for his eyes to open and to realize what was going on.
Opening his eyes slowly, he noticed that she was facing him, and his hands had been rested carefully on her stomach. "Is that? Is it.?"
Angela nodded. "It has been awake for a while now. I think we've got a gymnast in here," she teased. The baby had been doing what felt like cartwheels for close to an hour, and in the night, she had awoken once to the feeling of the baby rolling around.
"Oh my God," Tony said, moving his hand to follow the pattern.
"I know." Angela watched as Tony's eyes filled with joy, and the suddenly now awake man beside her looked nothing less than fascinated with the current happenings.
Tony couldn't help but feel immensely proud. Although it wasn't his baby, nothing would stop him from loving it like it was.
"Amazing, huh?"
Tony didn't respond as he moved down her body and placed his ear next to where the kicking was. "Ouch, right in the head," he said in mock pain. "Well little one, you're being really quite mean to your mommy, and normally I wouldn't tolerate that, but for some reason, it's making me feel a little better about everything that's happening. I'm glad that you are letting us know that you're okay in there." Tony pressed a little kiss just above what he though would be Angela's navel and then traveled back up her body, to the space he had occupied just a minute before.
He noticed Angela was once again crying and kicked himself. "I'm sorry," he said, as he wiped her tears. He was getting too good at that.
"No, don't be. I can't believe how much you love this baby already-it makes me so happy to see that." Angela couldn't have been more honest with him had she tried.
"Of course I love it-it's a part of you. It's a part of this family. I love it like I love Jonathon and Sam, and I'll never love it any less." Tony took her hand in his and entwined their fingers.
"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you in my life," she said simply as she watched him place their hands between them.
"You opened the door," he said softly, closing his eyes and just enjoying the feeling of her body so near to his, and their hands bound together.
7****
Tony served Angela breakfast in bed, on a tray laden down with all of her favorite fruits, as well as her favorite bread and of course decaf coffee and orange juice.
"Spoiling me," she said in awe of the tray in front of her.
"Spoiling both of you, and of course. I'm trying to fatten you up," he said as he passed her the napkin.
"Aren't you going to eat?"
"Nope, I have to run your bath water and prepare the bathroom," he said mysteriously.
"Do I dare ask?" Angela looked at him, wondering what he was up to next.
"You love bubble baths, and I don't remember the last time you took one, so I'm going to get it ready for you. I brought up your headset, and I also brought up a radio so you could listen to that if you get tired of conducting. Oh, and I have a surprise I want to finish off before you go in there." He winked at her, as he disappeared discretely into the bathroom.
She watched after him, wondering how he could be such an amazing guy and still borderline single. She hadn't done anything to really sink her hooks into him, and if he wanted to walk away from her, she wouldn't blame him. Angela knew that she came with a lot of 'emotional baggage' and that after a while, Tony might grow tired of taking care of her until she got things together.
Eating her way through her breakfast, she wondered how he had managed to stay in the bathroom so long, supposedly finishing off her surprise. Setting the tray aside, she stood and walked to the bathroom, knocking at the door.
"Safe to come in?"
"Sure, everything is finished," Tony said, opening the door to reveal a sea of pink roses.
"Tony! This is amazing!" She looked around the bathroom in awe. He never ceased to amaze her. "When did you get all of these in here?"
"After your morning bathroom break. I'm glad you're predictable sometimes," he said, leading her in further to show Angela around. "If you want anything more to munch on, there's a tray beside the tub, and we have a new housecoat for you to wear after you get out-as much as I love your old pink one, it needed to be replaced." Tony stopped at the foot of the tub and decided to leave her alone. "If you need anything else, let me know and I'll make sure to get it to you."
"You like bubble baths," she said seductively. "You could join me."
Tony raised his eyebrows, uncertain if she was indeed implying what he thought she said. "I uh, I think you should enjoy your bath, and when you're done, we have a day of fun for you."
"Well don't you think that you should keep me company?"
"No, I think you want to take a bath by yourself, and relax. We, uh.have all the time in the world for.uh, that." He backed further away, tripping over the garbage can by the sink. "Um.Yeah, I uh.I should be going."
Angela giggled at how easily flustered he became. As he left the bathroom, she couldn't help but call after him. "Thank you," she said.
"You're welcome." He called back.
8*****
"Back in the bathroom," Angela said, walking down the stairs in her robe, "I didn't mean thank you for what you were doing-what you had done."
Tony looked at her, unsure of what she meant.
"I meant, thank you for being such a gentleman. I was offering you something that I want to give you-I just don't know if it's the right time yet." Angela watched as he settled into the couch.
"We'll both know when it's the right time," he said quietly. "And when it is, it will be perfect."
"I know what you're doing," she said, watching him. When he didn't respond, she continued. "I know that you're trying to help me make all these new memories.I know that you want to make me feel better about myself. Don't you know that just having you around makes me feel better?"
"It's not working?" The disappointment was evident in his voice.
"It is," she said, her gaze visibly softened.
"Then?"
"I guess I just want you to know that no matter what memories we make, it won't change what happened, and I won't remember that any less." Tony looked disappointed. "I'll remember them less often though," she said softly.
"I just don't really want you to remember them at all," he said as she moved closer to him.
"I already have better memories about being here with you." she said
"But you still have all the awful ones of being here with him." Tony waited as Angela thought over her response. He knew that she couldn't deny that.
Angela moved in and pressed a kiss to his lips, demanding entrance into his mouth. When his hands wrapped around her, she pushed herself more firmly against his body, making sure she controlled every aspect of the kiss. "But that doesn't scare me any more," she said, seriously. "I don't cringe when you touch me, and I don't think of him when we kiss."
"I'm glad that's gotten better," he agreed, still shaken from the kiss.
"And when I don't have nightmares, I have wonderful dreams of you, and our baby."
The realization hit him. "Our baby?"
"If you wouldn't mind. I'd love for you to raise it with me. And I know that you'll be an amazing father. You already are to our other children."
"I wouldn't mind," he said tenderly. "I would be honoured." 9****
"One month to go Angela, and you're finally at a good weight-took you long enough," Dr White said as she finished writing down the important information about Angela's check up.
"We've been trying," she confessed as she stepped off the scale. "I really do feel like a small house. It's pretty nice."
The doctor checked Angela's blood pressure and then smiled. "Everything looks amazing. It's been a good change in the month and a half or so. I'm proud of you."
Angela rolled down her sleeve. "Well it was all Tony's doing. All I had to do was get out of bed."
"No more nightmares?"
"None at all," Angela admitted, happy to finally be free of most of what had been haunting her.
"Good, so go home, get some rest, and we'll see you in the delivery room."
"Ah, but question first." Angela bit her bottom lip, wondering how to phrase the question in such a way that the doctor wouldn't think it was crazy. "Is it too late in the pregnancy to still make love.?"
"Are you comfortable with the idea?" The doctor looked over her chart.
"I wouldn't ask if I weren't."
"Then I see no medical reason that you couldn't. Just make certain that your partner is disease free, and comfortable with the idea. You might want to try some new positions-standard missionary might be a bit uncomfortable for him." Doctor White seemed so cut and dry about it.
"There aren't any reasons not to?"
"Only doubt."
"Then there aren't any reasons," Angela smiled as she got ready to go home and have the talk with Tony.
****
"Oh Tony, I'm home," she said, practically dancing through the door way.
"How'd it go?" He raced through the living room and to the doorway, in enough time to close it behind her.
"Well." she said with a tone of reluctance.
"Well what?"
"Well, she said that we can still make love." Angela's voice was very casual. "I'm a good weight; my blood pressure is good and stable. She'd like me to work less, but you tell me that too, so I've grown accustomed to hearing that."
"I knew she'd like your weight. And I'm glad your blood pressure has leveled out finally. Do you think you might listen to her about working less?"
"If you listen to me if, maybe. We can make love still."
Tony was having a hard time processing what she was saying. "We can make love right now, if you want to. We can go up stairs and spend the entire evening in bed. The kids are with mother, and you and I are here, alone." Angela fingered the button at the top of his shirt.
"Angela!" Tony was frustrated-very frustrated. "Don't do this to me again. I swear, soon, I'm going to have to give in, and I don't know if you're ready for that yet. I'm just a man!"
"A very attractive, sexy, built man with rippling muscles and I bet you're a fantastic lover," she said as she continued to chew on her bottom lip. "I've thought about this. I've dreamed about this, and I've fantasized about it. And the doctor said we're clear to go right up until they wheel me into delivery."
"I did not need that image of us making love on a hospital gurney," he said, still in shock.
"Well, then, let's go upstairs so we can get rid of that idea. Make new memories?" Angela winked at him, hoping he'd follow. "Come on," she encouraged him.
Slowly following behind her, Tony wondered if they really were at that point where they could make love without risking some other part of their relationship.
10*****
Angela was already unbuttoning her cardigan when Tony came through the door. She was nervous, he could tell, because she couldn't stop chewing on her bottom lip.
"Ang, we can wait until later-until after the baby is born and you're feeling better." It wasn't that he didn't want to make love to her-he had been aching to-but he didn't want to pressure her and if she was still nervous, maybe it was too soon. "I'm sure that I want this, now," she said, opening her blouse to reveal her very pregnant belly and lace clad chest. "You know what they say about pregnancy and hormones-they make us very, very crazy."
"Well if you're not of sound mind," he tried to argue as Angela's hands made quick work of his shirt.
"I am." Angela kissed the skin she revealed as she stripped him of his shirt.
"If we're going to do this, can we do it my way?" He looked almost ashamed of his request, but when she silently nodded, he assumed control.
Leaning in to kiss her, he slowly pushed her blouse over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. They managed their way to the bed, where Tony gently laid Angela back against the pillows, and then from her side began to press gentle kisses down her neck and collar bone.
"Mmmmm, Tony, you are going to be the death of me, aren't you?" Angela writhed at his feather light kisses. He didn't respond to her, instead continuing his mission over her body.
Slipping one hand gently beneath her, Tony unclasped her bra and gently dragged the lace from one shoulder over, and then the next, freeing her of the material.
Her breasts, which now swollen from pregnancy, rested softly in Tony's hands and Angela looked up at him in anticipation. Gently, he began to suck and nip at the flesh in his palms. Tony would judge the veracity of his movements by the moans of pleasure. As she moaned more loudly, he'd move to her other breast and begin again.
Working his way down her body, he began to plant gentle kisses all over her swollen stomach, and when she arched her back and belly towards him, he took that as a sign to continue.
Unzipping her pants and easily pulling them over her legs, Tony pressed the most delicate and tender kisses that he could muster just inside her thighs.
"Oh my God, why did we wait this long?" Angela moaned as he pulled her panties down over her legs and pressed a finger to her centre.
"Because we wanted it to be perfect," he said, expertly corkscrewing his fingers inside of her and applying just enough pressure to bring her to climax quickly. As she bucked at his hand, he pressed tender kisses across her belly, and watched the expression of sheer enjoyment wash over her.
Angela's skin quickly became crimson and she moaned in ecstasy as the wave crashed over her, drawing her deeper into love with Tony.
As the shuddering subsided, Tony moved up Angela's side and pulled the throw blanket from the end of the bed to cover her.
"How do you do that," she asked, marveling at how he could evoke such emotions inside of her.
"I've been thinking about doing that for a very long time," he said watching her intently.
"But.I swear, I've never felt like that-never mind that you didn't even." Angela watched him.
"I love you," he said simply. "That's why it's so explosive between us- that's what love does."
"I love you too," Angela said, leaning in for a kiss. "And as soon as you think you might be able to maneuver around this huge thing I call a stomach, do you think you might.try something a little different?"
Tony grinned. "Yeah, we're ready," he said in agreement.
11****
Angela went into labour around three o'clock in the morning, inciting panic in everyone in the house.
Tony had done his best to remain calm and collected, but the more he thought about what Angela was going to do (something his friends from Brooklyn had described very caustically as pushing something the size of a watermelon through something smaller than a lemon) was creating more and more panic in him.
"Tony," she called as they put her onto the gurney to be wheeled into delivery.
"I'm right here." Tony appeared above the bed, caressing her forehead and moving her hair out of her face.
"You are coming in with me, right?"
He swallowed a lump in his throat and then realized that he couldn't not go with her. "Of course I am," he said, smiling.
"Thank you," Angela said as another contraction hit.
"Breathe through it," the male doctor said.
"Have you ever tried breathing through an earthquake in your." Tony's hand clasped over her mouth before she could say something she'd regret later.
****
"She's beautiful," Tony watched as Angela held the most perfect baby girl to her breast to feed her. Rubbing the soft downy hair on top of the baby's head, he watched as the two newest women in his life bonded.
"She's amazing," Angela said quietly. "I never thought I'd have any more children, and now.She's here, and she's perfect."
Tony sat in the chair, staring at the two adoringly. "You're both perfect. Like mother like daughter."
Angela smiled at the compliment. "You're not bad yourself. I'm really impressed by how well you held it together in the delivery room."
He snickered. "Yeah, right, 'cause there was so much work for me to do- unlike you who had to bring her into the world."
"You keep me grounded-that never changed." Taking his hand in hers, Angela noticed that Tony was more distracted than she thought he'd be under the circumstances. "A penny for your thought."
"I was just, uh." He tried to think of a good way to say what he was feeling. "I was just thinking how strong you are. Everything that's happened. Everything you've over come. And then when you were in there, you were so strong and confident. When Marie was giving birth to Sam, she told her mother she'd *never* go through that again." Tony was nostalgic at the memory. "I wasn't allowed in the delivery room. When I finally did see Marie, she told me that I'd be living on the couch-she didn't mean it, I know, but she just was so exhausted. Here you are, not even seven hours later, and you look beautiful, and you're taking care of this precious little girl. You've not said once that you regretted any of this-and if anyone might have had a reason, it would have been you."
"Look what we got out of the deal? We got each other, and we got this amazing little girl, who we might not have had otherwise, so we shouldn't have any regrets." Angela smiled at him. "And I never said 'never again' because I'm not convinced that I wouldn't want to do it again."
Angela and Tony exchanged loving glances and then looked back towards their daughter.
"We need to name this little princess," Tony said softly, watching her still sucking contentedly at Angela's breast.
"I had some ideas. How about you?" "I thought about a few names. But I want to hear yours first."
"Lauren, Lisa, Sarah, Alia, Shannon, and Nicole."
"I like those names, a lot," Tony said sincerely.
"Let's hear yours," Angela said sweetly.
"I only had two ideas." When she didn't say anything more, Tony continued. "Marian Catherine and Diana Lynn."
"Those are beautiful," Angela said, looking down at the baby. "What do you think?"
"I think if you're waiting for her to answer, you're on more drugs than I thought."
Angela shot him a glare, playfully. "What do you think of Marian Catherine?" The baby didn't once waiver from her meal. "I think we have our answer."
"Marian Catherine Bower. I like that."
"Marian Catherine Micelli. I like that more." Angela watched as Tony processed what she said.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Wow."
"I love you," Angela said, looking up from the nursing baby. "I got really lucky when you walked into my life."
"Not as lucky as I did," he said as he took her hand again.
And then she'd remember that it was Tony's body spooned against hers, his arms encircling her and holding her tightly and lovingly. She'd wonder how she ever thought they might be Greg's, because he never held her, let alone with such love.
Tony's hands would be resting, palms flat against her now curved stomach, and his body would be aligned perfectly with hers. Every night they went to sleep this way, and every morning they'd awake the same way.
"You okay?" Tony asked, moving his one hand to her shoulder.
"I'm fine," she lied. "Just woke up very suddenly."
"You had another nightmare, didn't you?" Tony pressed a kiss against her shoulder.
"It wasn't as bad as some of the other ones," she said as she rolled onto her other side to face him.
"Still," he said, wiping a tear from her face, "it isn't good for you to be dealing with all of this."
Angela knew what Tony was saying-she wasn't sleeping as well as she should have been and she was finding it difficult to relax. Most of the house reminded her still of Greg. The living room still made her stomach do flips.
"I'm okay."
"You're underweight. Still." Tony ran his finger over her abdomen, and straightened the silk that swaddled her body.
"I'm trying," she said truthfully. Angela was doing her best to eat healthily and in abundance, but she still felt the nervousness sometimes and more than anything, she was certain that Greg would be back.
Tony pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You're almost six months pregnant, and you're barely showing," he observed. "The doctor says the baby is growing, and it is still healthy, but that you should be gaining more weight, and that ultimately the baby will grow bigger and healthier."
"I know." Angela closed her eyes, imagining the little life inside of her.
"I'm going to make you a super-mom's breakfast," Tony declared, disentangling their fingers and getting out of bed. "All your favourites."
"You are way too good to me," Angela said, smiling at him as he put on his slippers.
"I wish I could do more for you," he said honestly as he opened the door. "Sleep for a little bit more, and before you know it, I'll be back with food."
2***
"Mona, I'm worried," Tony said as he organized the ingredients for Angela's breakfast.
"I know.You should have seen her when she was pregnant with Jonathon-she was a RV waiting to happen." Mona laughed at her own joke as she poured the cream into her coffee. "In fact, the doctor said she gained too much weight last time-said she should stop using the excuse that she was eating for two."
"Well we don't have that problem this time." Tony sighed. He realized that the greatest contributing factor to Angela's diminished appetite was that she was still scared and stressed from all of the happenings from the past year. He had hoped that he would be able to help her rebuild her life, but Angela seemed reluctant to talk to anyone about her dreams, and she barely spoke to her doctor about them.
"And she has you cooking for her," Mona teased. "You'd think by now she'd be back to RV size, waiting on becoming a small house."
"I don't know what to do.I want to help her but I'm not sure how to. There are all these things I'd like to do-all these expectant parent things. And I don't want to overstep the bounds. I don't want her to feel like I'm pushing her to let me in to her life, or that I expect to be this baby's father." Ultimately, he wanted Angela to welcome him, open armed, into her life, and to tell him that she wanted him to adopt the baby, but Tony refused to push her. He'd just have to wait for her to give him the go- ahead.
"Even if she hasn't said it, you know that is what she wants of you, right? She loves you Tony, and although my daughter isn't very good at showing things like that all of the time, she does tell me. But you have to remember what that bastard put her through. For the longest time she was scared to come home. Angela didn't want to go to sleep, for fear of what might wake her."
Tony cringed at the description. Angela had barely spoken to him about what Greg had done to her, and although he knew that she had been raped and abused both emotionally and physically, he wasn't sure of what he could do to make her feel better.
"She's still nervous when she's in the living room.Have you noticed? And she's paranoid about going to bed still-have you been able to spend one night out of her room?"
Tony thought about it. "I haven't really wanted to," he began. "But no, we always go to bed together."
"What kind of things do you want to do? You said you want to do the 'expectant parents' stuff."
"I have a list. A huge list," Tony laughed. "More than anything I want to know that Angela trusts me, so I know that I am helping by being here, and not hurting."
Mona stood up and walked over to Tony who was now cooking bacon and scrambling eggs. "She couldn't be doing anything right now, if it weren't for you Tony. Angela trusts you more than she's trusted anyone in her entire life, and she loves you with everything she has in her. But she's still scared because the last man she let in tried to destroy her."
"I know," Tony said quietly. "Hey, Mona, I have a plan. Do you think you might be able to help?"
3***
"You kids have fun," Mona laughed. "Not too much though-remember, baby on board." She winked at them as she went to the door, and then stopped. "Wait-it's you two. Okay, try not to bore that baby into delivery now, okay?"
"Thanks Mona," Tony said sarcastically. "You really know how to boost a guy's confidence!"
Angela laughed. "You have enough ego already. You don't need any boosting." Angela patted Tony's hand and squeezed it. "Mother?" When Mona turned to look back towards the table, Angela began again. "Thank you for taking the kids for the weekend. We really do appreciate it. It will give us a chance to get the nursery finished and to just relax."
"You're welcome honey," Mona said as she pulled the door closed behind her.
"You'd think she'd never take the kids camping again.considering Jonathon's last find."
"Well, she's braver than I am," Angela agreed.
*~*~*~
"Ang, can I borrow you for a minute?" Tony had been setting up the living room for the first phase of his plan for more than an hour. He'd been working at a hectic pace the entire time.
"Sure. One sec," she called down the stairs. He had managed to convince her to figure out how she wanted the nursery organized so he could go and start building the furniture that they'd chosen.
Making her way carefully down the stairs, Angela gasped at the sight of the living room.
"What did you do to my living room?" She grinned as she saw the look of disappointment on his face. "Okay okay, you big baby. *OUR* living room."
"Better.We'll work on that." Tony smiled as he led her to the couch.
"So, what are you doing?"
The couch was covered in plastic, and there were two large bowls on the table, as well as a jar of Vaseline and what appeared to be a bikini.
"This looks all too strange," she teased, wondering what the connection between the things on the table and the cover on the couch was.
"Get your mind out of the gutter," Tony said, acting offended.
"Well you should feel complimented that my mind wanders to the gutter with you," she commented casually. "So, what's going on?"
"You are going to go and get changed into the bikini here, and I promise, I'll leave the living room. When you come out, I want you to lie down on the couch, cover from your hips down with a towel, and if you want, there's a second towel to cover.ya know, your upper body." Tony blushed slightly, realizing that Angela would be wearing a bikini in their living room, with nobody home except for him, and despite her burgeoning pregnant belly, he still felt more than a little arousal at the idea of a scantily clad Angela.
"I'm supposed to put on a bikini?" When Tony nodded, Angela felt the go- ahead to continue her rant. "I don't put on a bikini when I'm, ya know, thin, never mind six months pregnant."
"Well now you do," Tony said, entering the kitchen. "Call me when you're ready." Angela stood in the middle of the living room for a minute, unsure of what to make of Tony's request. There was no doubt in her mind that she trusted him explicitly, but a part of her couldn't help but wonder what he was up to, and how much he had to do with Mona taking the kids away.
4*****
"Okay Tony, get your butt in here before I change my mind about all this," Angela called to him, slightly amused by all the secrecy to whatever he was doing.
"Eh oh, oh eh, no changing your mind until you know what's happening," Tony came through the door, having taken his shirt off.
"You're stripping now," she asked, swallowing a breath at the sight of his rippled chest-how the hell did he do it?
"Well, once you see how messy this will be, I'm sure you'll understand," he said mischievously.
Kneeling beside her on the floor in front of the sofa, Tony carefully tucked the towel underneath her, more than a little impressed that she opted out of covering her chest with a towel as well. "Lift your hips a bit," he asked as he tucked.
"For you, anything," Angela replied seductively.
He felt a blush creep over him as he tucked, wishing things weren't still so very near to platonic between them.
"Here's what's going to happen," he said confidently-his voice nearly betraying him. He didn't feel as confident as he was trying to let her believe but he was hoping she wouldn't call his bluff. "You get to lay there and first we'll rub some Vaseline on your stomach."
"Tony, it's been awhile since I've done this, but Vaseline? And doesn't it usually go somewhere else?"
"Your mind is back in the gutter again, isn't it?" He laughed as he picked up the container of gooey substance. "We're making a papier-mâché plaster of your stomach, so when the baby gets older he or she can see what it was like when they were still like this," he said softly.
Angela couldn't believe that Tony was being so sweet about all of this. He was doing all these wonderfully romantic and fatherly things, despite the circumstances of her pregnancy.
"You don't mind, do you? I thought it would be nice for us to.ya know?" Tony looked down at her, suddenly second guessing his idea.
"I think it's wonderful," Angela said looking up at him adoringly.
"So we start with the Vaseline so you don't have this stuff stuck to you forever, and then we'll start putting on the paper." Tony began to tenderly rub a thin layer of the goo on her stomach, carefully massaging her as he spread it over. "I tried to use warmer water so it wouldn't be too cold for you," he said as he picked up the first piece, "so I hope it worked."
"You're too great," Angela said, running her finger over his shoulder. "What do I get to do now?"
"Lay back and relax. I'll do this and you can just relax a bit, okay?"
"Sounds heavenly," Angela said, watching him very lovingly applying the paper to her stomach.
*~*~*~*
"It's getting hard now," Angela said as she tried to flex a stomach muscle.
"Good, so I won't have to hold you hostage much longer," Tony laughed. He moved closer to her as he pressed a kiss on her forehead. "You up for more food now?"
"I love how you make it impossible for me to move, and then force feed me," Angela grinned. "Sure, food sounds good."
"Well I have a special treat. Sounds very cliché, but we have chocolate sauce and strawberries, kiwis, banana and we also have cheese and crackers. You get to choose what you'd like first."
Angela's eyes lit up with the mere suggestion of the food. He had chosen her favourite 'snack food' appetizers. "You really know how to spoil a girl."
"If only you knew," Tony said slyly, then realizing he hadn't intended to make such a comment. The last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable. "I'm.I'm sorry," he said, rising to his feet to get the food.
"Tony?" Angela looked up at him, and felt horrible for his sudden reluctance to treat her like he always had.
"Yeah?"
"You know that I'm not going to break if you flirt with me, right? You know that I'm not a mess 100% of the time?"
He felt embarrassed at the implication that she needed to feel bad for him. "I think we need to remember our priorities-you need to gain weight and we need to get things ready for baby Bower soon."
Ducking into the kitchen to get the food, Tony felt sudden remorse for his comments. It seemed like no matter how hard he tried to keep things simple between them, he'd screw it up, and put them in an uncomfortable situation.
"Tony?" Angela called into him. Picking up the trays he had organized, Tony quickly made his way back to the living room.
"Yeah Ang, everything okay?"
"Just fine. Well, sort of. I want to talk to you for a minute though." Angela shifted slightly and looked at him. When she was sure she had his attention, she began. "I know you're trying your best to keep things.comfortable.between us. I really appreciate how sweet you are. Really. I love that you're trying to make me feel like there isn't any pressure to get things back to normal, but I feel the pressure I'm putting on myself."
Tony wasn't sure he understood what she was saying. It seemed too much like there was still ambiguity in their relationship.
"I really can't thank you enough for being here for me, and caring as much as you do for me and this baby," Angela fought the threatening tears. "You have been absolutely amazing."
"You don't need to thank me Angela-I wouldn't want it be any other way." Tony took her hand in his and waited for her to acknowledge his words. "I know that I've been walking on eggshells lately, but I'm scared to pressure you. And I know you think that seems silly, but I can see what this whole mess has done to you, and I don't want to make it worse."
"You couldn't make it worse if you tried," Angela said pensively. "You've helped me come so far, and you've been wonderful with keeping everyone functional around here."
"Well, we're family. Family does that." Tony didn't mean to seem so non- committal, but he felt the need to let her speak.
"But you know you're more than just family, right?" Searching his eyes, she tried to decide a way to say what she was feeling without coming across as too aggressive. She wasn't ready to make love with him yet, but Angela wasn't sure when she would be either.
"I'm your housekeeper too," he said wryly. "Best paid help on the eastern seaboard."
"I love you," she said softly. "I love you, and would never think of you as just my housekeeper. I've never been able to." Tears began to trail down her face, leaving streams of water that glistened in the light.
"Shhh, don't cry," Tony moved closer to her, wiping the tears with his thumb. "I know. I know what you're saying and I understand. You've never been just my boss-from the minute you opened the door that first day.I felt this warmth, or something, for you, and it's only gotten stronger. I've never felt like this before."
"If we don't get this plaster off me soon, I might crack it with my tears," she observed, trying to lighten the mood.
"We wouldn't want that, now would we?" Tony grabbed a face cloth from the table and dampened it while his other hand slowly started to lift the papier-mâché. Rubbing in small circular motions over the skin he revealed, Tony smiled when the mock belly maintained its shape.
"Looks good," Angela said, sitting up. "But I'm glad to be free."
"It does look pretty good, doesn't it?" Tony admired their handiwork. "Let's set this down to dry, and if you'd like to grab a shower, you could. I'll get today's next activity underway while I'm waiting."
Angela laughed. "I feel like I'm in summer camp."
"Just don't go kissing strange boys behind rocks and everything will be okay." Tony felt more than a little nostalgic at the memory and more than a distracted at the sight of Angela moving away from him, in only a bikini. How did she do that to him? How could she make him so incredibly hot for her when she's six months pregnant?
"Aw, but it worked out so well for me last time," she teased as she made her way up the stairs.
5****
"Since you didn't say anything about dress code, I decided I'd stick to good ol' fashion long skirt and blouse, okay?" Angela walked into the living room, shocked to see fake palm trees once again decorating the living room. "What is all this?"
"Well, I've decided we needed a nice peaceful evening and the best way to do that would be to be on vacation. So, welcome to Hawaii." Tony picked up the grass skirt he had bought at the costume store and fastened it right below Angela's belly. That was the first time she had seen his grass skirt, and sandals.
"So a night in Hawaii, huh?"
"Complete with a pig roast and dancing. And a lei for you, m'lady." Tony placed pink flower lei over her head, and then decided to take her on a tour of the 'island'. "Come with me," he said, taking her to the area near the tv. "This is the fortune house-here you can see the future, and the present, broadcast via the psychic Buddha network." Angela laughed at Tony's vastly mistaken interpretation of Hawaiian culture, and the way he managed to be adorable, even when he was intentionally making an ass of himself. "And this," he said, pointing towards the fire, "Is the volcano where we worship our Gods. But we've run out of virgins to sacrifice. Now we use whoever we can find." Tony winked at Angela as he led her behind the dining table and towards the bay window. "You have to love the ocean view," he said, pointing towards their neighbor's swimming pool.
"Wow, do you see that sea monster? It must be.three feet long and.green and pink?"
"Didn't ya know, Heather got new floaties for the kids," Tony smiled, knowing she was finally starting to get into the role-play.
"It's a monster," Angela corrected. "What's that," She asked, pointing towards the corner.
"Oh, that.Yeah, it was supposed to be somewhere else, but I decided not to use it." Tony anxiously tried to move her back towards the couch, which he had turned to face the 'volcano' and the 'ocean'. "Your wicker chair, madam."
"You're too much," Angela laughed. "Well this is quite the tropical night."
"It is, and the temperature's just right."
"Thanks to mother thermostat, no doubt."
"Ahem," Tony corrected. "Mother Earth."
"Yes, of course. So what was that rock all about?"
"Nothing, really," Tony said, lying.
"Yeah, right." Moving closer, Angela moved her face very close to Tony's ear. He could feel her breathing tickling his neck. "What was the rock all about?"
Taking a big breath, Tony wondered if he was able to compose rational thought. "It was.uh.it was supposed to be kissing rock."
"Does the island have a myth for it too?" Her lips had moved even closer still, brushing against his ear lobe.
"It's supposed to mean.uh.The first person you kiss there will be your soulmate for life." Tony could feel his arousal pressing against his pants and was certain she'd have to move further away from him if he were to avoid any mishaps. He felt like a twelve year old boy.
Taking his hand, she led him over to the corner and pulled him into an embrace. "We might as well just seal the deal," she said seductively, as her lips pressed against his, her tongue demanding entry.
Her hands rested firmly at the base of his neck, while his wrapped around her to the small of her back, holding her against him.
"There," she said with finality. "Now we know that we can take as much time as we want, and fate will still have us lined up for one another."
Tony stood there looking at her, his mouth agape. He and Angela had never shared a kiss like that, with such passion and intensity.
"Yeah," he agreed, going back to the couch.
"I love what the island does for us," Angela sighed, as she took his hand in hers and watched the fire crackle.
6*****
Waking up, his arms in their standard position, Angela shifted quickly to her other side and borrowed Tony's hands again. Resting them on her belly, she waited for him to wake up.
"Eh oh, Angela, if you wanted a snack I'd get up. You don't need to keep poking me," he said groggily.
"How do you think I feel?" Angela grinned, waiting for his eyes to open and to realize what was going on.
Opening his eyes slowly, he noticed that she was facing him, and his hands had been rested carefully on her stomach. "Is that? Is it.?"
Angela nodded. "It has been awake for a while now. I think we've got a gymnast in here," she teased. The baby had been doing what felt like cartwheels for close to an hour, and in the night, she had awoken once to the feeling of the baby rolling around.
"Oh my God," Tony said, moving his hand to follow the pattern.
"I know." Angela watched as Tony's eyes filled with joy, and the suddenly now awake man beside her looked nothing less than fascinated with the current happenings.
Tony couldn't help but feel immensely proud. Although it wasn't his baby, nothing would stop him from loving it like it was.
"Amazing, huh?"
Tony didn't respond as he moved down her body and placed his ear next to where the kicking was. "Ouch, right in the head," he said in mock pain. "Well little one, you're being really quite mean to your mommy, and normally I wouldn't tolerate that, but for some reason, it's making me feel a little better about everything that's happening. I'm glad that you are letting us know that you're okay in there." Tony pressed a little kiss just above what he though would be Angela's navel and then traveled back up her body, to the space he had occupied just a minute before.
He noticed Angela was once again crying and kicked himself. "I'm sorry," he said, as he wiped her tears. He was getting too good at that.
"No, don't be. I can't believe how much you love this baby already-it makes me so happy to see that." Angela couldn't have been more honest with him had she tried.
"Of course I love it-it's a part of you. It's a part of this family. I love it like I love Jonathon and Sam, and I'll never love it any less." Tony took her hand in his and entwined their fingers.
"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you in my life," she said simply as she watched him place their hands between them.
"You opened the door," he said softly, closing his eyes and just enjoying the feeling of her body so near to his, and their hands bound together.
7****
Tony served Angela breakfast in bed, on a tray laden down with all of her favorite fruits, as well as her favorite bread and of course decaf coffee and orange juice.
"Spoiling me," she said in awe of the tray in front of her.
"Spoiling both of you, and of course. I'm trying to fatten you up," he said as he passed her the napkin.
"Aren't you going to eat?"
"Nope, I have to run your bath water and prepare the bathroom," he said mysteriously.
"Do I dare ask?" Angela looked at him, wondering what he was up to next.
"You love bubble baths, and I don't remember the last time you took one, so I'm going to get it ready for you. I brought up your headset, and I also brought up a radio so you could listen to that if you get tired of conducting. Oh, and I have a surprise I want to finish off before you go in there." He winked at her, as he disappeared discretely into the bathroom.
She watched after him, wondering how he could be such an amazing guy and still borderline single. She hadn't done anything to really sink her hooks into him, and if he wanted to walk away from her, she wouldn't blame him. Angela knew that she came with a lot of 'emotional baggage' and that after a while, Tony might grow tired of taking care of her until she got things together.
Eating her way through her breakfast, she wondered how he had managed to stay in the bathroom so long, supposedly finishing off her surprise. Setting the tray aside, she stood and walked to the bathroom, knocking at the door.
"Safe to come in?"
"Sure, everything is finished," Tony said, opening the door to reveal a sea of pink roses.
"Tony! This is amazing!" She looked around the bathroom in awe. He never ceased to amaze her. "When did you get all of these in here?"
"After your morning bathroom break. I'm glad you're predictable sometimes," he said, leading her in further to show Angela around. "If you want anything more to munch on, there's a tray beside the tub, and we have a new housecoat for you to wear after you get out-as much as I love your old pink one, it needed to be replaced." Tony stopped at the foot of the tub and decided to leave her alone. "If you need anything else, let me know and I'll make sure to get it to you."
"You like bubble baths," she said seductively. "You could join me."
Tony raised his eyebrows, uncertain if she was indeed implying what he thought she said. "I uh, I think you should enjoy your bath, and when you're done, we have a day of fun for you."
"Well don't you think that you should keep me company?"
"No, I think you want to take a bath by yourself, and relax. We, uh.have all the time in the world for.uh, that." He backed further away, tripping over the garbage can by the sink. "Um.Yeah, I uh.I should be going."
Angela giggled at how easily flustered he became. As he left the bathroom, she couldn't help but call after him. "Thank you," she said.
"You're welcome." He called back.
8*****
"Back in the bathroom," Angela said, walking down the stairs in her robe, "I didn't mean thank you for what you were doing-what you had done."
Tony looked at her, unsure of what she meant.
"I meant, thank you for being such a gentleman. I was offering you something that I want to give you-I just don't know if it's the right time yet." Angela watched as he settled into the couch.
"We'll both know when it's the right time," he said quietly. "And when it is, it will be perfect."
"I know what you're doing," she said, watching him. When he didn't respond, she continued. "I know that you're trying to help me make all these new memories.I know that you want to make me feel better about myself. Don't you know that just having you around makes me feel better?"
"It's not working?" The disappointment was evident in his voice.
"It is," she said, her gaze visibly softened.
"Then?"
"I guess I just want you to know that no matter what memories we make, it won't change what happened, and I won't remember that any less." Tony looked disappointed. "I'll remember them less often though," she said softly.
"I just don't really want you to remember them at all," he said as she moved closer to him.
"I already have better memories about being here with you." she said
"But you still have all the awful ones of being here with him." Tony waited as Angela thought over her response. He knew that she couldn't deny that.
Angela moved in and pressed a kiss to his lips, demanding entrance into his mouth. When his hands wrapped around her, she pushed herself more firmly against his body, making sure she controlled every aspect of the kiss. "But that doesn't scare me any more," she said, seriously. "I don't cringe when you touch me, and I don't think of him when we kiss."
"I'm glad that's gotten better," he agreed, still shaken from the kiss.
"And when I don't have nightmares, I have wonderful dreams of you, and our baby."
The realization hit him. "Our baby?"
"If you wouldn't mind. I'd love for you to raise it with me. And I know that you'll be an amazing father. You already are to our other children."
"I wouldn't mind," he said tenderly. "I would be honoured." 9****
"One month to go Angela, and you're finally at a good weight-took you long enough," Dr White said as she finished writing down the important information about Angela's check up.
"We've been trying," she confessed as she stepped off the scale. "I really do feel like a small house. It's pretty nice."
The doctor checked Angela's blood pressure and then smiled. "Everything looks amazing. It's been a good change in the month and a half or so. I'm proud of you."
Angela rolled down her sleeve. "Well it was all Tony's doing. All I had to do was get out of bed."
"No more nightmares?"
"None at all," Angela admitted, happy to finally be free of most of what had been haunting her.
"Good, so go home, get some rest, and we'll see you in the delivery room."
"Ah, but question first." Angela bit her bottom lip, wondering how to phrase the question in such a way that the doctor wouldn't think it was crazy. "Is it too late in the pregnancy to still make love.?"
"Are you comfortable with the idea?" The doctor looked over her chart.
"I wouldn't ask if I weren't."
"Then I see no medical reason that you couldn't. Just make certain that your partner is disease free, and comfortable with the idea. You might want to try some new positions-standard missionary might be a bit uncomfortable for him." Doctor White seemed so cut and dry about it.
"There aren't any reasons not to?"
"Only doubt."
"Then there aren't any reasons," Angela smiled as she got ready to go home and have the talk with Tony.
****
"Oh Tony, I'm home," she said, practically dancing through the door way.
"How'd it go?" He raced through the living room and to the doorway, in enough time to close it behind her.
"Well." she said with a tone of reluctance.
"Well what?"
"Well, she said that we can still make love." Angela's voice was very casual. "I'm a good weight; my blood pressure is good and stable. She'd like me to work less, but you tell me that too, so I've grown accustomed to hearing that."
"I knew she'd like your weight. And I'm glad your blood pressure has leveled out finally. Do you think you might listen to her about working less?"
"If you listen to me if, maybe. We can make love still."
Tony was having a hard time processing what she was saying. "We can make love right now, if you want to. We can go up stairs and spend the entire evening in bed. The kids are with mother, and you and I are here, alone." Angela fingered the button at the top of his shirt.
"Angela!" Tony was frustrated-very frustrated. "Don't do this to me again. I swear, soon, I'm going to have to give in, and I don't know if you're ready for that yet. I'm just a man!"
"A very attractive, sexy, built man with rippling muscles and I bet you're a fantastic lover," she said as she continued to chew on her bottom lip. "I've thought about this. I've dreamed about this, and I've fantasized about it. And the doctor said we're clear to go right up until they wheel me into delivery."
"I did not need that image of us making love on a hospital gurney," he said, still in shock.
"Well, then, let's go upstairs so we can get rid of that idea. Make new memories?" Angela winked at him, hoping he'd follow. "Come on," she encouraged him.
Slowly following behind her, Tony wondered if they really were at that point where they could make love without risking some other part of their relationship.
10*****
Angela was already unbuttoning her cardigan when Tony came through the door. She was nervous, he could tell, because she couldn't stop chewing on her bottom lip.
"Ang, we can wait until later-until after the baby is born and you're feeling better." It wasn't that he didn't want to make love to her-he had been aching to-but he didn't want to pressure her and if she was still nervous, maybe it was too soon. "I'm sure that I want this, now," she said, opening her blouse to reveal her very pregnant belly and lace clad chest. "You know what they say about pregnancy and hormones-they make us very, very crazy."
"Well if you're not of sound mind," he tried to argue as Angela's hands made quick work of his shirt.
"I am." Angela kissed the skin she revealed as she stripped him of his shirt.
"If we're going to do this, can we do it my way?" He looked almost ashamed of his request, but when she silently nodded, he assumed control.
Leaning in to kiss her, he slowly pushed her blouse over her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. They managed their way to the bed, where Tony gently laid Angela back against the pillows, and then from her side began to press gentle kisses down her neck and collar bone.
"Mmmmm, Tony, you are going to be the death of me, aren't you?" Angela writhed at his feather light kisses. He didn't respond to her, instead continuing his mission over her body.
Slipping one hand gently beneath her, Tony unclasped her bra and gently dragged the lace from one shoulder over, and then the next, freeing her of the material.
Her breasts, which now swollen from pregnancy, rested softly in Tony's hands and Angela looked up at him in anticipation. Gently, he began to suck and nip at the flesh in his palms. Tony would judge the veracity of his movements by the moans of pleasure. As she moaned more loudly, he'd move to her other breast and begin again.
Working his way down her body, he began to plant gentle kisses all over her swollen stomach, and when she arched her back and belly towards him, he took that as a sign to continue.
Unzipping her pants and easily pulling them over her legs, Tony pressed the most delicate and tender kisses that he could muster just inside her thighs.
"Oh my God, why did we wait this long?" Angela moaned as he pulled her panties down over her legs and pressed a finger to her centre.
"Because we wanted it to be perfect," he said, expertly corkscrewing his fingers inside of her and applying just enough pressure to bring her to climax quickly. As she bucked at his hand, he pressed tender kisses across her belly, and watched the expression of sheer enjoyment wash over her.
Angela's skin quickly became crimson and she moaned in ecstasy as the wave crashed over her, drawing her deeper into love with Tony.
As the shuddering subsided, Tony moved up Angela's side and pulled the throw blanket from the end of the bed to cover her.
"How do you do that," she asked, marveling at how he could evoke such emotions inside of her.
"I've been thinking about doing that for a very long time," he said watching her intently.
"But.I swear, I've never felt like that-never mind that you didn't even." Angela watched him.
"I love you," he said simply. "That's why it's so explosive between us- that's what love does."
"I love you too," Angela said, leaning in for a kiss. "And as soon as you think you might be able to maneuver around this huge thing I call a stomach, do you think you might.try something a little different?"
Tony grinned. "Yeah, we're ready," he said in agreement.
11****
Angela went into labour around three o'clock in the morning, inciting panic in everyone in the house.
Tony had done his best to remain calm and collected, but the more he thought about what Angela was going to do (something his friends from Brooklyn had described very caustically as pushing something the size of a watermelon through something smaller than a lemon) was creating more and more panic in him.
"Tony," she called as they put her onto the gurney to be wheeled into delivery.
"I'm right here." Tony appeared above the bed, caressing her forehead and moving her hair out of her face.
"You are coming in with me, right?"
He swallowed a lump in his throat and then realized that he couldn't not go with her. "Of course I am," he said, smiling.
"Thank you," Angela said as another contraction hit.
"Breathe through it," the male doctor said.
"Have you ever tried breathing through an earthquake in your." Tony's hand clasped over her mouth before she could say something she'd regret later.
****
"She's beautiful," Tony watched as Angela held the most perfect baby girl to her breast to feed her. Rubbing the soft downy hair on top of the baby's head, he watched as the two newest women in his life bonded.
"She's amazing," Angela said quietly. "I never thought I'd have any more children, and now.She's here, and she's perfect."
Tony sat in the chair, staring at the two adoringly. "You're both perfect. Like mother like daughter."
Angela smiled at the compliment. "You're not bad yourself. I'm really impressed by how well you held it together in the delivery room."
He snickered. "Yeah, right, 'cause there was so much work for me to do- unlike you who had to bring her into the world."
"You keep me grounded-that never changed." Taking his hand in hers, Angela noticed that Tony was more distracted than she thought he'd be under the circumstances. "A penny for your thought."
"I was just, uh." He tried to think of a good way to say what he was feeling. "I was just thinking how strong you are. Everything that's happened. Everything you've over come. And then when you were in there, you were so strong and confident. When Marie was giving birth to Sam, she told her mother she'd *never* go through that again." Tony was nostalgic at the memory. "I wasn't allowed in the delivery room. When I finally did see Marie, she told me that I'd be living on the couch-she didn't mean it, I know, but she just was so exhausted. Here you are, not even seven hours later, and you look beautiful, and you're taking care of this precious little girl. You've not said once that you regretted any of this-and if anyone might have had a reason, it would have been you."
"Look what we got out of the deal? We got each other, and we got this amazing little girl, who we might not have had otherwise, so we shouldn't have any regrets." Angela smiled at him. "And I never said 'never again' because I'm not convinced that I wouldn't want to do it again."
Angela and Tony exchanged loving glances and then looked back towards their daughter.
"We need to name this little princess," Tony said softly, watching her still sucking contentedly at Angela's breast.
"I had some ideas. How about you?" "I thought about a few names. But I want to hear yours first."
"Lauren, Lisa, Sarah, Alia, Shannon, and Nicole."
"I like those names, a lot," Tony said sincerely.
"Let's hear yours," Angela said sweetly.
"I only had two ideas." When she didn't say anything more, Tony continued. "Marian Catherine and Diana Lynn."
"Those are beautiful," Angela said, looking down at the baby. "What do you think?"
"I think if you're waiting for her to answer, you're on more drugs than I thought."
Angela shot him a glare, playfully. "What do you think of Marian Catherine?" The baby didn't once waiver from her meal. "I think we have our answer."
"Marian Catherine Bower. I like that."
"Marian Catherine Micelli. I like that more." Angela watched as Tony processed what she said.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Wow."
"I love you," Angela said, looking up from the nursing baby. "I got really lucky when you walked into my life."
"Not as lucky as I did," he said as he took her hand again.