This fic takes place in the 'Triptych' universe, an AU story in which Connor and Abby are in a polyamorous relationship with another Connor from an alternate timeline. In Evenstar Estel's fic 'Frozen', which also takes place in this same AU, an 'incident' in Lester's office between the two Connors was referenced. I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to write a little smut. This fic takes place between the ending and epilogue of the fic 'Triptych', some time after the alternate Connor decided to stay with them. They're getting a little frisky together at work, the Connors!

Warning: Extremely mature content! Lemon! Slash! Technically it's autoeroticism, considering Connor is having sex with another version of himself.

Disclaimer: I do not own Connor or Abby, or Primeval, or any of the established characters that you recognize. Eye Patch!Connor belongs to Evenstar Estel, who invented him for her fic 'Cloudy With a Chance of Connors'. You don't have to read that fic to understand this fic, but I would recommend reading 'Triptych'.

o…o

It was late, after a very long day. Everyone else had gone home for the night and the only people who remained were the two Connors and Abby, and the small handful of soldiers who worked the graveyard shift in the empty Arc. Connor was supposed to perform some routine updates on some of the Arc's systems, which was supposed to be a quick thing. That was four hours ago. He was encountering problems left, right, and sideways, and he'd enlisted the aid of Eye Patch Connor, whose skills with computers were rusty but still very useful.

"You've got no reason to hang around here all night," the older Connor told Abby. He needed to stretch his legs and get another cup of coffee. That computer chair was damn uncomfortable and his back was in knots. "You should go home and get a good night's sleep, and take my ol' bitch with you. We can get a cab or something when we're done here."

"What, and go home all by myself and go to bed alone?" She teased, putting on another pot of coffee in the staff lounge. She stood on her toes and nuzzled his neck. "Fat chance. I'd rather be here with you guys."

"Can't be any fun for you," he said, groaning as he cracked his back.

"Sure it is. You're in some very tight jeans and bending over that computer desk a lot. It's a nice view."

He laughed softly and kissed the top of her head. "As long as you're sure."

"Look, if I weren't here, you two would stay here all night and we'd find you in the morning asleep at your desk, face-down in your own drool. Someone's gotta keep the two of you from working too hard. And anyway, if I get really bored, I can distract you from overworking by taking my top off."

"I like that idea," he purred in her ear, reaching around to grab her backside and rolling his hips into hers.

"Finish what you need to finish first," she told him, kissing him. "We'll have fun when we get home. It's a Friday night, we don't have to be in tomorrow unless there's an emergency."

"Hm, I like this idea even more."

He took Connor's tea and his own coffee back to the computers and Abby went to take Eva for a walk. Connor was on his mobile when he got there, having a rather one-sided argument with Lester.

"Look, Les—Lester—I know you're annoyed. It's not a walk in the park for either of us, you know! I just need—I need—Lester, I just need a file!"

Eye Patch sighed. They'd figured out they were going to need information from some files, but they were in Lester's locked office. They could finish the work tonight if they had what they needed, so Connor called Lester at home in hopes of getting the code to get into his office. It sounded like he was in a significantly less than receptive mood, because of being interrupted at home by one of his least-favourite people in the world.

Connor winced and held the phone away from his ear; Lester could be heard ranting from the other end.

"I don't appreciate that kind of language when I'm putting in overtime."

"And I'm not appreciating being bothered at home! Why didn't you do this during your regular hours? If you're spending your working day in a threesome, I'm going to be extremely angry with you."

"I didn't know I needed the file until me an' Conn—Drake—figured it out. It's just one file, we'll change the passcode to your office door and you can change it to something only you'll know on Monday, okay? It's not that hard—"

The other Connor reached over his shoulder and took his phone, intent on threatening Lester into complying with their needs.

"Look, Lester, if you really want the week to start off with us having to make all the updates and adjustments first thing on Monday morning because we couldn't finish it tonight, then by all means that's your call."

Lester sounded uncommonly bored as he groused, "Oh, god, who am I talking to? It's too hard to tell the two of you apart. Are you Laverne or Shirley?"

He knew that that was meant to get a rise out of him, but it wasn't going to work; insults like that worked on the younger Connor, but not on him. He had far too many hashmarks in his life to let anything less than a nuclear holocaust bother him. "It's Shirley," he said flatly. "Now are you gonna tell me and Laverne how to get into your office or are you going to have the week start off on the wrong note?"

Connor snorted into his mug and dribbled tea down his front; Eye Patch smirked.

There was a few more minutes of arguing between the Connors and Lester. The grouch grumbled and harrumphed but eventually relented—he probably knew it was the best choice all along, but James Lester wasn't one to agree with Connor Temple, either of them. He disagreed with both of them frequently, purely on principle.

They got the code and entered Lester's office. It was immaculate, as usual. The place felt strangely forbidden as they walked in and flicked on the lights—Lester's little corner of the Arc was absolutely, strictly, and unequivocally off-limits to anyone who wasn't James Lester or Eva, on whom he secretly doted. It was one of the only areas of the Arc that Connor didn't have, and couldn't get, access to. No one liked going in there, anyway. Everyone liked to avoid Lester and Lester liked to avoid everyone else, like a king who didn't want to soil his hands dealing with the filthy underclass. Being summoned to this office felt weirdly like being a kid summoned to the Headmaster's office. It wouldn't have surprised anyone who worked there if he had a cane behind that desk.

"Christ," Eye Patch said with a grimace and a shudder upon entering the office. He ran his hand over the desk, leaving a faint streaking over the otherwise spotless glass top. "This place is so clean it makes me feel... filthy."

Connor laughed quietly, looking around. Everything was so anal-retentively perfect and organized that he positively ached to mess it up a bit, just to piss him off. Even the computer keyboard and mousepad, and the pens on the desk were aligned exactly parallel to each other. There wasn't a speck of dust anywhere. He probably forbade it from entering his office and it freaking listened. Lester could order dust around. A thousand years ago, he'd've been burnt at the stake as a witch, Connor thought.

He made his way over to the file cabinets. There were two of them and Lester wasn't nice enough to tell him where the desired information was being kept. "You wanna start on that one and I'll start at this one?"

"Hm, I dunno, I bet he's got the really sensitive stuff hidden in some compartment under his desk."

"What makes you think that?"

"Don't be daft, love," Eye Patch said, flicking his ear in affectionate animosity. "We watch all the same spy films, yeah?"

"Films aren't real life."

"That's what they said about 'Jurassic Park', and look at what we're doing for a living."

"Oh, god, we're not gonna start on 'Jurassic Park' again, are we? We'll be here arguing until one of us is dead!"

As alike as the pair of them were, and as head-over-heels in love with each other they were, the two Connors could sometimes butt heads over the most ridiculous things. They could argue for hours about comic universes and science fiction. Once they'd argued so vehemently that they didn't even notice Abby had stripped naked in an attempt to shut them up until several hours later, when they gave up and went to bed and found her clothes in a pile on the floor near them.

"Let's not, I would like to get home this weekend," Eye Patch said. He leaned in and kissed the ear he'd just flicked, then rested his lips on his temple, flattening a hand on his lower back and rubbing gently.

His counterpart was very tactile, Connor had noticed early on in their relationship. Moreso than he'd ever remembered being himself, but then their lives and experiences had skewed many years before he came through his anomaly and into this world. Living so very long without any affection of any kind, no loving human touch, had changed him—and now that he did have that human connection again, people to love and who loved him in return, it was almost as if he felt he had to keep physical contact with them as much as he could to assure himself that it was still real and not some cruel hallucination or dream.

Either that, or their strange three-person love was still so new and interesting and shiny that it was still novel. Like a honeymoon.

Maybe a bit of both.

Connor turned and gave him a quick little kiss, then nudged him towards Lester's desk. If they got started on something right now, there'd be no turning back, and they had work to do.

"The sooner we get done with this, the sooner we can all go home," he reminded him. "Go on, have a look in the desk. I'll start in the cabinets. If I find anything, I'll let you know."

He nodded and they each got down to their searches.

"Mind you don't find something horrifying, like his porn stash," Connor said, flicking through the folders and papers in one drawer after another.

"Fucking hell, there's a thought I didn't need or want."

"You're welcome."

"See, now I'm gonna be stuck wondering what the hell kind of porn stash he'd have. And I don't want to think about that."

"Neither do I, but I've just put the idea in my head, haven't I? Well done, me. We may need trauma counselling after this."

The files they were looking for didn't turn up in either file cabinet. Mostly they were expense reports, stories to satisfy the public regarding creature sightings, dossiers, monthly reports, invoices for supplies for the animals pens, and insurance claims for the damage they incurred—or caused—in their line of work. The only unusual things Connor found in those cabinets were a list titled 'Things I Would Rather Be Doing Today', a bag of Milk Bones presumably for Eva, and a collection of tiny bottles of gin and vodka, the kind that were served on planes and in hotels.

"I crapped out over here," he said, slamming the last drawer closed with his foot as he stood up. "Anything over there?"

Eye Patch had moved from the desk to the bookshelves, prodding for any secret compartments.

"I don't think—ah-hah!" He reached and grabbed a book from the shelf. When he opened it, it was revealed to be a dummy shell with a stack of papers tucked inside. A quick scan proved it was exactly what they were looking for. "Finally! Thank goodness."

"Well done," Connor congratulated him, standing behind him and hooking his chin over one shoulder and wrapping his arm around the other. "How'd you figure that out?"

The other Connor flipped over the dummy shell to reveal the spine; it read A Short History of Nearly Everything, a title they both knew. "Because why in the world would Lester have a copy of a Bill Bryson book? He's the most humourless prick that ever broke wind."

"Clever," he laughed softly. He hugged him around the shoulders with one arm and kissed his neck. He'd meant it to be a little peck, but he let his mouth linger far longer, unshaved stubble scraping on is lips. He smelled of cigarette smoke, leather, mouthwash, and Connor. He sighed a little against his neck and breathed in his warm scent for several moments. He kissed his neck again and the other man purred lazily.

"Feels good," he rasped.

"You taste good." To emphasize this he flicked his tongue out and licked a line up his neck to the little soft spot just under his ear, a spot where he was deliciously sensitive and that worked like an erotic on-switch.

Eye Patch rumbled with a gentle purr, leaning into his lover. He brought a hand up and cupped his dimpled cheek, then turned to kiss him slowly and sweetly. The kiss got deeper and more intense, teasing his lips with his own and running his tongue along the soft pad of his lower lip. Connor moaned into it, slanted his head, and opened his mouth to him. He wrapped one arm around his shoulders and the other around his hips, pulling the older man tight and flush against himself; Eye Patch cupped the back of his head in one gloved hand and slipped his other hand into his back pocket, grabbing his ass and squeezing possessively. Every action said 'mine!' loud and clear. He didn't share Connor or Abby with anyone in the world and showed that at every opportunity.

He turned them around and backed Connor against the edge of the desk. Connor knocked down a cup of pens and hopped up to perch at the edge of the desk, leaning back and spreading his legs to let Eye Patch get as close as he could to him. He pulled his hand from his pocket and moved it to the inside of his thigh, kneading through his jeans. It felt good—really good.

Eye Patch braced his hand on the edge of the desk behind him and gave a hard thrust against him. Connor broke off the kiss and groaned loudly.

"Oh—oh god, yes," he panted happily. He grabbed him by the front of his deliciously tight jeans and pulled him towards himself; Eye Patch took the hint and ground against him again, and again, each time harder, with a little grind against his hardening cock that made little stars erupt behind his eyes. He was dizzy and his head spun and he was so turned on he couldn't think.

Their kisses intensified, open-mouthed and wet, with tongues tangling and stubble scraping. Neither of them shaved often if they could get away with it—their cheeks were always dusky and coarse with their unshaved whiskers and they left little red patches and scrapes on one another and on Abby, who made dirty comments a lot about having barber's rash in unlikely places. Privately, Connor always thought it was one of the sexiest things in the world to see pink raw spots on both of his lovers, on their bellies and on the insides of their thighs where his face rubbed against the soft skin as he made them squirm with pleasure.

He whined softly and the other Connor kept going. He could feel the telltale bulge in the man's jeans, his erection digging into his groin and heightening the pleasure. He tore his lips away roughly, sucked his lower lip into his mouth, and mouthed behind his ear. Connor started making embarrassingly needy mewls, rolling his pelvis back against his lover's. He licked his neck, bit his throat, tugged his earlobe with his teeth; he pulled his shirt and waistcoat up and kneaded his waist slowly and luxuriously, sending jolts of electricity and excitement up Connor's spine. It felt so good he'd stopped thinking about the fact that they were still in Lester's office.

Suddenly, almost as suddenly as they started, he jerked in shock and planted his hands on the other man's chest, pushing him backwards.

"Oh my god, we've gotta stop!" He panted. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was slightly damp with sweat. He slid off the edge of the desk and steadied himself on wobbly legs.

"Why?" Eye Patch countered, still nuzzling his neck and massaging his thigh with skilled fingers. He didn't let him stand fully and didn't back up more than six inches.

"Because—just, because. Oh my god..." He put his hand on his forehead and rubbed one temple. His hand was trembling slightly.

"Are you all right?" He asked worriedly. He took one glove off and stroked his cheek bare-handed.

"Yeah. Fine. I just... we need to stop."

"You worried we'll get caught?"

"No—yes. No. I... oh my god..."

"What happened?"

Connor's face was burning now, a mix of embarrassment and arousal at once. "I—I just—I just—I can't even say it!"

"What is it?" Eye Patch pressed again, purring and licking around the curve of his ear. Oh, he was good, getting whatever information out of him that he liked just by licking and kissing. Both he and Abby were quite adept at that kind of manipulation.

He felt his face burn and he rested his forehead against his shoulder before quietly answering, "I just came in my pants."

His embarrassment compounded when he felt Eye Patch laugh heartily, smothering the sound in the junction between his neck and shoulder.

"It isn't funny!" He protested, indignant and totally humiliated.

"Why isn't it?"

"I just got off dry-humping you in Lester's office!"

"Well, that's understandable. You've got an obscenely hot guy who wants to fuck you into the wall."

He moaned softly at his forwardness and frankness. "I can't believe I got off that quickly."

"I can't believe you creamed your pants."

"What d'you want me to do, drop trou and prove it?"

He sucked gently on his neck. "Mmkay. Do it."

He should have known better than to ask Eye Patch a rhetorical question of a sexual nature. Because he always answered them and then demanded the answers be honoured. It was very hard to refuse him, too. So Connor unbuttoned the top button of his jeans and ran his fingers through the wet mess in his shorts, shuddering slightly. He pulled his hand out, the fingers white and slick with his own cum.

Eye Patch smirked a crooked, sexy, delicious little dimpled smirk and firmly grasped his hand by the wrist. He closed his eyes and pulled his hand towards his mouth, slowly and deliberately sucking and licking his fingers clean, humming happily as he did it. Connor moaned as he did so—it was ridiculously erotic, watching his boyfriend suck the semen off his fingers, his tongue soft and slow. He made a totally undignified noise that turned into a yelp when he slipped his hand into his jeans for more, licking his fingers clean. He was starting to grow hard again, his hips beginning to jerk of their own volition.

"We should—probably—get outta here," he gasped, trying to convince himself to stop and having no luck.

"You should clean up first."

"Unh—yeah, I, uh, should. You could—" he gasped a little when Eye Patch tugged his zipper down slowly. "You could get me some tissues or something."

"No fun in that," he declared frankly. He pulled the zipper down and tugged hard on Connor's tight jeans, dragging them down and taking his messed boxer-briefs with them. He licked his lips greedily. "This is much more fun for both of us." To emphasize this point, he pulled him close by his shoulders and kissed him roughly, then sank to his knees before him.

"Oh yes. Oh, god yes—yes." He gripped the edge of the desk behind him and held on for dear life as he felt the other Connor give his semi-hard penis a long lick from the base to the head, licking the cum up and making him grow hard again.

Eye Patch grasped his legs by his thighs, suckling the head of his cock into his mouth. He pushed the foreskin back with his lips and continued to lick up the semen, making him mewl and groan and pump is hips shallowly. He licked, suckled, skimmed the tender skin gently, gently with his teeth; he eagerly swallowed down everything he could reach with his tongue, making Connor moan slowly. He pressed down on his belly to keep him still, forcing him to go at his pace rather than picking his own.

He panted, rolled his hips, babbled incoherently in between gasps and moans.

"So good," he sighed.

Eye Patch pulled off of him with a wet slurp and looked up at him through his shaggy fringe. Even his blind eye glittered mischievously and his lips glistened with saliva and semen. He licked his lips.

"You taste good," he purred.

He whimpered.

He went back down, suckling gently. He eased one hand into his own jeans, cupping the straining bulge in his shorts and trying to get a small measure of relief; the grunt reverberated in his throat and vibrated on the cock in his mouth. Connor gripped a handful of his hair, whining low in his throat.

"More," he begged. "Just a little more."

His lover laughed softly and sat back, letting him slide from his lips. "Eager, aren't you?"

"Horny." He tugged his hair again. "More?"

He leaned in and kissed his thigh warmly before going back to the task at hand.

When he wanted to do so, Connor could last quite a while and hold an orgasm back for some time. His embarrassingly quick orgasm moments ago had taken the edge off and he held off the second for a long time, wanting to feel the other Connor's hand on his belly and his lips around his erection, sucking and slurping and tongue swirling and teeth grazing, for as long as possible. It was different when he did it than when Abby did it; Abby's ultimate goal was to see how fast she could make him completely lose control, how quick she could make him moan and beg and howl with pleasure, whereas Connor's was to stretch his pleasure out as long as possible and keep his mouth on him for as long as he could. Different approaches, but no less enjoyable. But a blowjob was a blowjob, and he loved both Abby and Connor very much.

He felt the familiar feeling curl low in his abdomen, his breath hitch and come erratically. He drew a hard, ragged breath as he came hot and hard into his mouth. It made the blood rush in his ears and his knees buckle. He sucked him dry until there was nothing left of him and he stood there gulping huge breaths of air until his head stopped spinning. Eye Patch pressed a gentle kiss just below his navel, rubbing soft little circles on the little bumps of his hipbones with his thumbs. He stood up and took his face between his hands and kissed him breathless, sending his senses reeling again.

"I love you," he whispered. "God, I love you."

What was left of Connor that wasn't already quite liquid promptly melted. He never figured himself for a smooth, cavalier Han Solo 'I-love-you,-I-know' kind of guy, but neither did he figure himself a total schmaltz-merchant; but something about this man turned him into an absolute sap all over. Even more than Abby did. It was probably the abandoned-puppy quality about him, so eager to love and be loved that sometimes it was heartbreaking. It would have been embarrassing if he didn't love him so much. He kissed him slowly, leisurely, hotly, his desperation temporarily sated and his need quelled. His kiss tasted like sweat and semen now, and he melted into it.

"I love you, too," he sighed back. "So much."

"Fucking hell, we're a couple of saps, aren't we?" He asked rhetorically.

"Completely," he said with a loopy grin, drunk on his orgasms and being head-over-heels in love.

Eye Patch nuzzled his neck affectionately and reached down to tenderly pull his shorts and pants back up, giving his crotch one last soft pat before zipping his jeans and fastening the button.

"We should probably... you know, finish up," he suggested, taking the folder from the desk. "The work, I mean," he added with a cheeky grin.

"Yeah," Connor agreed. He kissed him one last time, quick and warm, before he backed up and let him get off of the desk. He cast a glance at Eye Patch's jeans, a pair of really tight-fitting skinny jeans with a hugely pronounced bulge in the front. He rubbed him slowly and deliberately, giving him a smirk. "When we're done, I'll return the favour."

"Good," he rasped, thrusting his hips into his hand.

They locked Lester's office back up and made their way back to the computer hand-in-hand like a pair of teenagers in love for the first time. Abby had taken over the computer chair, smiling secretively at them as they approached. That 'cat who got the canary' look made them glance at one another and then back at her, immediately suspicious.

"You guys know what?" She asked. She didn't even wait for them to so much as shake their heads before the answered, "Turns out there really is a camera in Lester's office. It's not connected to the main security feed, though. It's privately owned, Lester looks in on it at night when we're not here."

Two sets of eyes went huge and wide and Connor's mouth popped open ever so slightly. Busted! Absolutely, totally busted.

"Oh shit," Eye Patch whimpered piteously, ducking his head and turning a remarkable shade of purple. "Fucking hell. Shit. Fuck!"

"Yeah, I know," Abby said, an obvious double-meaning in her words. She grinned when they both turned funny colours. "Lester phoned me and told me to tell you guys to stop fucking each other on his desk or he'd make you pay for a new one. I have to say, though—the show was good fun."

They were still flushing with total embarrassment and it was then that they noticed her jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped, her bright pink mesh knickers slightly pulled down in the front and a wet spot evident in the gusset. Whether Lester showed her the footage himself—perhaps to prove to her that they were doing what he said they were doing—or whether she found how to get a look at it herself, they didn't know. Either way she'd clearly liked what she saw and they both groaned quietly, imagining her sitting there with her nimble little fingers sliding in and out, fucking herself, getting off on thoughts of the two of them together.

"We should—we should definitely finish up here," Connor said after swallowing several times and regaining his voice.

"No arguments from me," she said cheerfully, vacating the computer chair. She leaned up to kiss them both, Connor first and then Eye Patch. He ground his hips into hers and thrust his tongue into her mouth, making her mewl excitedly as she tasted Connor's spendings in his mouth. That never got old, knowing that her Connors got off on each other just as much as she got off on them and they on her.

"Let's finish up," Connor suggested again, his voice rasping sexily this time.

"Then we can go home and finish with you," Abby said. "And me."

Neither of the Connors could remember a time when they'd worked faster. A little incentive was all they needed, really.