A/N: Well now I can safely say I appeased my muse who's been throwing a fit for months about the lack of romance in my full length story. Now we should at least be good for a few more chapters. Hope you like it.
Sidelines
"All you seem to do...is look right through me.
I've dreamt of you a thousand times. But
you don't even bat an eye. It doesn't
matter what I do, or how I try
I'm always the girl on the
sidelines."
-Payton Rae, "Sidelines"
"Who says, who says you're not perfect? Who says
you're not worth it? Who says you're the only
one who's hurting? Trust me, that's the
price of beauty. Who says your not
pretty? Who says you're not
beautiful? Who says?"
-Selena Gomez, "Who Says?"
Pain shot through me as I leaned heavily against the side of a giant oak, its sturdy branches brushing gently along my spine as the wind blew through the woods. I was a warrior, a protector of my people; this ridiculous mourning had to stop. I was the alpha female, I was strong, strong enough to take on this burning fire that shot through me every time he invaded my mind. I only hoped he would leave soon.
Shaking myself I lapsed back into my stride, baring my fangs when one of the wayward pups got too close to my side. I was a solitary runner despite the wolf in me whining in contradiction, I didn't rely on anyone. Brady, the youngest, whined pitifully as he slunk off, his ears drooping. Guilt hit me momentarily, he had been my brother's best friend for years, a second little brother, and he didn't deserve to patrol with me. Hell, I was worse to work with than Paul.
The pines brushed my coat as I shot by, running full speed, the leaves nothing but an orange and green blur as I dodged tree trunks and thorns. Sliding to a halt I stared down into the churning waters of the ocean, my heart racing as my claws flexed against the edge. The crisp sting of sea salt made my nose twitch as the sweet song of evening birds echoed in my ears. The sun was setting, my patrol was up.
Huffing I turned around, waiting for Brad y to catch up to me, his string of apologies running through my head annoying me slightly. Biting my tongue I filled his mind with forgiveness and images of the setting sun bathing the ocean a beautiful deep blue as green moss grappled against the pull of the currents. His excited yip caused me to roll my eyes as he ran out of the forest, his enthusiasm knocking me back as he stood beside me, his tail hitting me in the face.
Nipping him lightly I glared over my shoulder before standing a trotting away from the edge, knowing that like a few times before, I would likely end up being shoved off if I didn't remove myself promptly.
Quil and Embry emerged then, their eyes dancing with laughter as Quil went over the latest costume Claire had forced him to. I snorted, shaking my head at the duo, wondering how these two pups could possibly be considered men now. They both glared at me at my thought, but I shrugged my shoulders and trotted off into the cover of the bushes, still uncomfortable of standing nude in front of them.
Brushing back my now longer hair I twisted it up off my neck and slipped on my tank top, grumbling at the stains that appeared on its front. I supposed I should be use to it by now, it wasn't like I had any good clothes after the curse.
Brady had already changed back, his animated arms barely missing the muzzle of Quil as he stepped back, shaking his head at the younger one. It had been three years since he had changed and the weight that had strained the rest of the pack had yet to touch he and Collin. I thanked whoever was above for that, Seth needed some of his friends to be free from the burdens most of the rest of us saw, ones who were unused to the ways of war. I wanted Seth to stay the way he was, he was far too serious as it was.
"Hey, you two," I called, walking confidently over to the talking trio, Embry turned to me, smiling as he threw his thick arm around me, I scowled. "Keep your eyes open, the forest was too quiet tonight."
"Leech?" Emby asked as he ran a hand through his hair, an uneasy look passing over his features, I rolled my eyes, these boys and their imprints.
"No, nothing but the Cullens, I don't know what it was, just seemed off," I replied as Quil finally transformed, my eyes deftly looking only at his face.
"You worry too much, Lee," Brady commented offhandedly as he stretched, his body much leaner than the two that stood beside him, the wolf weaker in him than the others.
"We'll watch it, Leah, promise," Quil said as he glanced back towards the village, a scowl appearing before he looked away quickly. "Would you mind, you know…?"
"Yes, I'll make sure Claire is at Sam's, and before you ask Embry, I'll call Angela make sure she comes to La Push," I said.
"Thanks Leah, appreciate it," I glanced at my Beta, nodding my head in understanding before turning around, waving for Brady to join me.
Stepping through the brush I held back a few bushes for Brady to pass through, ignoring his continuous chatter as we walked back to La Push. My scowl going unnoticed and my earlier guilt keeping me silent as his prattling grew to new heights. If Jake saw me now he would be laughing his ass off, I thought, my own amusement showing as Brady stuttered in his rant before starting up again, his glances causing me further amusement. It really had been too long since I had smiled.
"…and she's just the most amazing girl you could ever meet! Oh I know, you should invite her over tonight! No, wait, that would mean I wouldn't get to see her…never mind," Brady prattled as I watched him walk forth, his shoulders brushing against the rough bark when he got too distracted by a wayward squirrel. It was definitely good he had never seen a real battle; he would have been done for in two seconds flat.
"I don't think Skylar would like being around us anyways," I commented as I twisted away from the branch he had moved, not paying attention to who was right behind him.
"Hmm? Oh, well, I guess not, she still hasn't gotten a handle on this whole imprint werewolf thing," Brady said as he stopped momentarily to pick a few berries and stuffing them in his mouth. "But she's such a great cook! I wonder if she would fix me supper…"
I tuned him out as I shoved in front of him, the mouth full of leaves the last straw, there was no way I was walking behind the pup anymore.
Glancing behind me I frowned, a hollowness filling my gut as I thought of the newest imprint, a sweet little Rez girl a year below Brady in school. I had only met her a handful of times, most of the meetings she often politely declined from attending. It seemed a room full of mythological creatures was just too much for the poor girl. None of us took offense to it too much, Kim had been the same way in the beginning, now she was pregnant and often in Emily's kitchen more than Emily herself was.
Glancing to my left I turned down the worn path, thankful when the trees started to thin and the dim lights of the reservation brightened the land. As much as I liked my little brother's friends, I had had enough of Brady for one evening. He was a good kid, but I wasn't up for his enthusiasm tonight, my jealousy spiking at the latest great Skylar ramble.
"'Night Brady," I called as I jogged off, hoping that he didn't notice that I was breaking away from him sooner than needed.
Heading towards home, I bit my lip, hoping against hope that Seth wasn't home; I didn't need to be surrounded by anymore simpering males following around their imprints with their tails tucked between their legs. All I wanted was a shower, a change of clothes, and a good night's sleep. I hadn't got more than a couple hours all week.
Opening the door, I winced as the sweet smell of spaghetti sauce tickled my senses, my eyes closing in pleasure even as my mind revolted at the idea. Despite my views and often surly thoughts towards the girl, I truly did like her. More often than not anymore she took the burden of cooking off my shoulders, something I was eternally grateful for after just a year of mom's move. Seth was a growing boy with an extra dose of werewolf genes added in, two things that were a potent combination.
"Hey Nicole," I greeted as I bit back any sarcastic remark my mind might have tried to conjure, no need to insult the girl who fed me.
"Oh," she gasped as she spun around, a wooden spoon held tightly in her hand as red sauce flung against the tiled floor. "Oh my gosh, you scared me Leah, it's good to see you though."
I smirked as she scrambled to clean up her mess, the streak of flour across the bridge of her nose going unnoticed as she bustled about. I rolled my eyes once before deftly pointing to the cabinet with paper towels surprised with the amount of time she spent over here that she didn't know the kitchen better than myself.
"Where's Seth?" I asked as I walked fully into the kitchen and plopped myself down on the countertop reaching for the box of frosted corn flakes on top of the fridge.
"Oh, he said something about picking up your mom, Charlie had to leave town for a couple days so he invited her over for supper," she answered with a cry of delight as she threw away the dirtied paper towels, the floor once again spotless.
"Hmmm, guess that means I should get cleaned up," I murmured as I looked at myself, wrinkling my nose at the scent of dirt and grime.
"Probably," she laughed as she turned back to the supper, "oh, and Jared called, said something about Kim needing to get a hold of Sue about setting up weekly visits, seems like only yesterday she found out she was pregnant."
I grunted in acknowledgement as I slipped off the laminate countertop to throw away the now empty box of cereal, displeasure twisting my mouth as my stomach growled once more.
Leaving the kitchen I headed upstairs to my room, quickly grabbing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before disappearing into the upstairs bathroom. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I grimaced at the woman looking back at me. At twenty-three I was as toned as any athlete with curves that had many of the local tribesmen drooling. Frowning at the melancholy that swam through me; I closed my eyes and leaned against the cool glass. I would have given anything to rid myself of the inhuman beauty that now haunted me wherever I went, all I wanted was to be a normal woman again.
Sighing I stripped off my clothes, thankfully noting that all could be salvaged, clothing was a precious commodity around here. Quickly stepping beneath the warm water I felt my muscles relax as I let the warm spray slow my rapid heart. Even after all these years, even after I had forgiven him, the pain that accompanied the abandonment still stung like a fresh scar, never truly healing. I glimpsed down at the fine scar along my hip, shaking my head at its iridescent glow.
I could still remember the overwhelming agony of that fight, grimacing as the memories flooded me, the tears mixing with the steam. I had been patrolling with Collin, teaching him the ways of the wolves as he had only transformed for the first time a few weeks ago. He had yet to grow accustomed to his new lithe tawny body as he was continuously tripping over his own paws, his energy outweighing his technique. I had volunteered for the job, trying desperately to escape from Jake and his unhealthy obsession with the newest Cullen.
I had known what I was entering the moment I became part of Jake's pack, knowing that despite any misleads, that the boy had the power to break my heart. And break it he did. The night before the small leech's birth he had held me within his arms, whispering words of comfort and promise beneath the full moon. I had been happy and reluctant to believe that his arms were real. The next morning I had found him holding the squalling bundle of his imprint.
So when Collin's transformation came I rejoiced in the opportunity to take the young pup on his first patrol, Seth graciously declining the position. He had known of my feelings towards our new Alpha and without complaint he quickly gave up the honor of introducing his friend to his surly sibling. Boy did I love that kid.
The wind had been from the north that day, a gust cooling our overheated skin as we went trotting back to the Cullen's mansion, our newest hole in the wall. As we had rounded the next been, there it had been, all sickeningly beautiful with grotesque scarlet eyes. Without thought the young pup at my side had attacked, his instinct guiding him without the proper training. I had never felt such fear before.
In a blink of an eye Collin had been tossed, the pale creature hovering over him as he descended upon him, intent on ripping my pack brother to shreds with his steel jaws. I didn't think, there wasn't time or need, with a snarl I had leapt forward intent on protecting what was mine. Collin was my charge, my pack pup, one of those that I would die for without hesitation and I had every intention of dying that day. Even now after the trauma had long since fled that moment was but a blur in my memories, still refusing to be regained.
I remember twisting out of the monsters grasp, seething as he nimbly out stepped my attacks, laughing as I staggered over Collin's prone body. In a rush of speed I lunged, snapping his arm off as he twisted around and bit deeply into my skin. Agony seized me as I turned, a fire twisting my frame as I tried in vain to keep my balance. With my last attempt I snapped in his body in half and flung him, hoping at least to buy some time for Collin.
I flexed my fists as I grazed the scar again, the crescent shape so cold in contrast to my overheated skin. Seth had found us that day, worried when we didn't return in time. I must have woken up at his arrival, the haunting roar of his voice still lingering in my deepest dreams. I had never seen such utter defeat in him as the time he leaned over me, whispering incoherent words of reassurance that I didn't need. I had accepted my death before the fight, the agony that ripped through me was my only regret. I wished he hadn't been the one to have found me, he had seen too many of his family die before him.
A knock woke me from my straying thoughts, the shower long since growing cold against my flesh. The swirling water at the bottom of the tub once brown with mud was now clear of any remnants of my earlier patrol.
"Lee? You ok?" Seth's voice startled me even though I knew it had to be him; no one else ever looked after me like he did.
"Yeah, Seth, just give me a minute, 'kay?" I whispered, fully aware he could easily hear me over the rush of the water.
His footsteps answered my question as he left me alone once more, my shaking hands reaching forward and turning off the water. The unnoticed tears fell without hindrance.
1111
I awoke unusually late, the warm sun ghosting over me, pulling me back into the comfort of sweet slumber once more. With a derisive snort I rolled out of bed, ignoring the pain that shot through me when my elbow connected with the bed frame.
Standing I frowned at the clock, noticing that it was far too close to noon for my liking. I had never slept this late; Seth's stumbling in the hallways always waking me as he tried to get ready for school. I blew out a breath of relief knowing that at least I didn't have to work today; Mrs. Robinson had been lenient enough as it was with my erratic schedule.
Running a hand through my hair, I stumbled into the living room as I switched the television on, not caring what was on. As a wolf I at least needed the illusion of company, suddenly I missed the days where quiet mornings were normal and welcoming. Now barren hallways filled me with loneliness far deeper than being the outcast ever could.
Grabbing a box of pancake batter I quickly mixed up what was left, pouring it into the sizzling skillet and mixing in a few fresh blueberries from the garden outback. I thanked my mom silently once again for her gardening ways, with my new abilities the chemically grown fruits and veggies of today's markets often times made my stomach curl in disgust.
Checking my phone I had left on the counter the previous night to charge, sadness washed through me when I noticed the lack of messages or calls. It came with the territory; I was the only female and had a bite out of me from our greatest enemy, a bite that would have killed any of my brothers. I had fallen into a coma for two months but had come out relatively unscathed. The elders had been astonished, working on the mysterious occurrence for weeks before finally deciding it was a gift from the Gods. I snorted, gift indeed.
Flipping the sizzling patty I retrieved my favorite plate from the cabinet and sat it on the counter beside me, my stomach rumbling at the smell of food.
Walking into the living room I sat the syrup on the coffee table as well as my jug of orange juice, knowing how outraged my mother would have been if she'd seen me. Placing myself into the couch's deep cushions I flipped the channel to the local news, habits dying hard as I searched for any signs of vampire activity.
A knock halted my fork on its way to my mouth, my lips frowning as I scented the air, curious as to why he was here. Sam's house or even Jake's was where we gathered, no one but Seth and I ever came here. What was going on?
"Come on in, Jake," I called as I went back to eating, deciding that he hadn't busted down my door so it couldn't possibly be that important.
He stepped through the door and momentarily my breath hitched as I took in his beauty. He was tall and broad, rippling muscles lining his shoulders as he closed the door behind him, the bashful boyish grin never leaving his face even after years of stress of being Alpha causing him to lose some of his youthful hope.
"Morning, Leah," he called as he stepped forward, his own stomach rumbling as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. I rolled my eyes as I pointed him towards the kitchen, if he was hungry he would fix it himself, I was not some little homemaker for the pack.
Pulling at my ear I set my plate back on the table before grabbing my jug of juice and happily setting it in my lap, content to watch the weatherman announce another dreary day in upstate Washington. Surprise, surprise.
Jacob walked back in, a huge bowl of Seth's cereal in hand along with a cup of coffee, a wide yawn stretching his handsome face as I turned quickly to stare back at the T.V., trying desperately to ignore my Alpha sitting just a chair away.
Another knock surprised me as I turned to the door, frowning. I called for her to enter, knowing at once that this was no coincidence; something was up and as I looked back to Jacob, I watched as he quickly looked away, avoiding my eyes.
Emily strolled in with Benjamin happily sauntering beside her, his gleeful gurgles delighting me despite the heavy ache that took my heart every time he came over.
"Hey there, Benjie," I called as I held out my arms for him to run into, a wet kiss readily placed on my cheek as he cuddled into my side.
"LeeLee!" Claire cried as she ran through my front door, her darting body hitting me full force, my werewolf reflexes the only thing that kept me from falling from my perch.
"Hey, Claire Bear, how've you been?" I asked as I kissed her on the forehead, grinning when she squealed and slipped away, waving her tiny finger at me.
"Nuh uh, none of that, I big girl now," she said her tiny hands fisting on her hips as she glared cutely at me from beneath her unruly bangs.
"Oh really, then I guess big girls wouldn't be interested in playing with my old dollies, oh well, guess I'll just have to get rid of them then," I said teasingly as she gasped dramatically and ran upstairs, the guest bedroom slamming behind her. I chuckled and shook my head before gesturing for Emily to take a seat, my nerves still tingling with dread.
"Ok, what's up guys?" I asked as I turned from the toddler in my arms who was slobbering over my hair, yanking at it joyfully as he squirmed.
"Nope, sorry Lee, you have to wait like everyone else," Jacob answered as I growled at him, my eyes narrowing as he laughed in amusement, Benjie squealing in delight as he tried to imitate the noise.
I glanced down at the boy in my arms, the ache in my heart growing as the emptiness in the pit of stomach grew and spread over me. When I had first shifted I hadn't minded the whole big burly wolf thing, no girl would scowl at never having to worry about gaining weight. But as the elders had dug through their shelves of legends, the devastating truth had hit me hard. My only anger towards my fate had been at the death of my father, something that still weighed heavily on my shoulders, but nothing had prepared me for the next slap in the face.
Female werewolves were rare, like once in a dozen generations rare, and I just happened to be the lucky girl. Normally, back when the last shift had taken place, the alpha female and the imprint shared a wolf, one ensuring pack stability and the other promising strong lineage. That thought sickened me and I had quickly dismissed it, not at all caring for such archaic practices until I had learned of the consequences. Unless I mated with another wolf, I was doomed to a life alone. Devastation had hit me hard.
For weeks I had been inconsolable, only allowing Seth to enter, not wanting to ever see any of the other male wolves who would surely break my only hope and too unstable for my mother to console. For female shifters the only way we could have children was through another shifter, another one of my pack brothers. And though I had always wanted children, the thought that had crippled me completely was the fact that I would always be alone. Females did not imprint. No imprint, no telling of the secret. My life would be a lie. I was the local old maid.
Jacob watched me as I played with Benjie, his eyes hollow before swiftly turning away, pain etching itself across his face. I swallowed thickly before turning my attention back to my little cousin, raptly ignoring the male to my left.
"I still can't believe how well he takes to you Leah, he screams a fit if anyone else tries to hold him for very long," Emily said as I shrugged my shoulders, grinning down at the tot as I rubbed my nose with his, laughing when he blew a spit bubble, not at all minding the drool that dripped down onto my wrinkled shirt.
As time passed and the news anchor switched out for an old sitcom my living room grew and grew in occupancy, Seth even stumbling in in confusion as Brady and Collin followed. They received the same response as my own however, their curiosity at being pulled out of class left unquenched.
Benjamin played at my feet, every once in awhile reaching up to tug on my sweat pants, pointing at his newest find before settling back in and giggling madly. I smiled fondly before turning back towards my pack mates, frowning at the overly full room. All but Sam and Jared were here, including the imprints, Kim now leaning heavily against the seat as she rubbed her swollen stomach remorsefully. Even Skylar had shown, her eyes darting back and forth between all us fairytales, her lips pulled tight as she settled even further back against Brady.
Just as my glaring was about to spark Jake's hair on fire, Sam entered, his ashen face scaring me as the whole room turned to where he stood. And to all our surprise instead of only one other man entering, two did, the unknown visitor sending all of us for a loop. Instantly the scent of unknown wolf assaulted all of those in the pack and even as my mind tried to figure out just exactly what was going on, the resonating growl shook my chest.
He was tall as we all were, but he seemed to tower even above that of Jared and Sam, easily leaning more towards the seven foot height than most of the others. I was sure he and Jake were about the same height, my thoughts confirmed when one of the few non-growling wolves stood, his hand resting on the other. In fact, squinting at the two, more and more similarities popped up.
Both had strong shoulders, wide and unyielding, the new one was wide as Jake was lean, but their strong jaws and eerily steady eyes made my mouth drop open. They looked like twins; the only telling difference was the slight dip to the new one's nose and the slightly fuller lower lip that Jake was lacking. From toe to toe the two resembled each other far more than any of the rest of the pack.
"Shit," the word flew across my lips before I could stop it, grimacing when Emily quickly yelled at me for using such language in front of her son.
"Sorry Em," I apologized as I glanced back down to the toddler, wondering if he should be present, things were about to get interesting.
Silence fell once more as I tried to absorb the new information as Embry stood to clasp hands in a weird shake with the new comer, his steady gaze drifting over towards me before turning away. I knew they expected me to stand as well, to welcome him into our folds, but I couldn't move. The wolf in me whined and stirred, gnashing her sharp teeth in rage. She didn't know this new one, this outsider; she didn't trust any who could be a liability to her pack.
Standing I carried Benjie upstairs and into the spare room with Claire, placing him in a play pen and flipping on the monitors, knowing that this conversation was not meant for young ears.
"Well, shit," I said again as I walked back down the stairs, trying desperately to keep my cool, this just couldn't be happening. "Jake…?"
"Yeah," he answered my unasked question as he finally turned to look at me, the dark of his eyes more vacant than usual, I gulped. "The elders are on their way; sorry about invading your space Leah, but we needed a big house."
I nodded my head, not at all caring about the monstrous group now sitting haphazardly all over my furniture, not when the world I knew slipped away. This was insane, horrific was more like it. The others turned to me, looking between myself and my Alpha, their questioning gazes burning through me. I made no move to answer their inquiries.
"How old is the kid?" I asked as I stepped forward, the dead weight attached my feet suddenly slipping free as I made my way to greet my new pack mate, the wolf still not happy.
I glanced at him again noticing how he had yet to look up at any of us, his shoulders hunched as his body shook. He had obviously just shifted not long ago; his control was minimal at best.
"Kid? Dude he's twenty-six," Jake said, causing me to frown as I looked at the boy…err…man who stood before me, trepidation flushing my paled skin.
"Twenty-six?" I questioned even as I stepped forward, brining myself side by side to my two leaders, my hand reaching out to grasp the man's large hand. "Welcome to the pack."
As his hands closed around my own I felt a jolt shock me as I gasped and stepped back, my brows arching as his body instantly fell into shivers, his shoulders hunching even further. I stepped back as the boys wrestled him outside, his whole form trembling as he tried desperately to keep his form. I glanced at Emily, my frown matching her own as she looked from me to the still slamming screen door.
"Leah?" I turned at the sound of my mom's voice, quickly shrugging off the weird occurrence in favor of my mom's warm embrace. We both laughed as Seth scurried over to greet her as well, lifting us off our feet as we giggled madly.
"How are you, Seth?" mom asked as she quickly switched into full on mom mode, her hands falling over my brother's face as he batted her hands away gently, flushing as she worried over him in front of us all.
I turned to welcome Old Quil and Billy into the house, my eyes meeting his dead on in a silent battle of wills, the wolf in me snarling. He finally looked away, a natural response, there were few who could stand against our wolf mannerisms and not be quickly subdued by them.
Quil quickly strode to the back door at my signal and called the five now much calmer men back into the house, a new pair of shorts adorning the new comer. I steadfastly turned away and sat down on my previous couch cushion, watching as Jake stood beside his father, his body tense as he tried desperately to remain calm in the face of this new arrival.
Billy sighed deeply, the wrinkles around his mouth and eyes suddenly much more pronounced and I felt my stomach clench. Sympathy swarmed in me as I glanced at Jake again, I couldn't imagine how he was handling this.
"A year before Sarah and I married, I met a young Makah woman, barely out of high school and spent a weekend in her company. I've never seen her since, never had any contact, I didn't know," his voice caught as he turned to stare at the young man that stood on the other side of Jake, his head still bowed. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Chase."
Rachel gasped as she stood abruptly and rushed to her father, her eyes searching his as tears formed in her own, her silent plea evident. Her shoulders shook as she silently sobbed, Paul quickly stood to wrap his arms around her before she shrugged him off, her back straightening.
"No, Paul," she said, her voice only breaking once as she turned to face the one named Chase, "I need to meet my new brother."
With gentle steps and the males of the back readying themselves, Rachel stood before Chase, her hands gently grasping his chin and bringing his face to meet her own. His eyes were a burning black, another family trait that all of the siblings inherited. The sunken cheeks of the new comer filled as he hesitantly smiled, his shoulders straightening somewhat as he fully faced us for the first time.
"Welcome to the family, Chase," she whispered as she took him in her arms, ignoring the rumbling growl of Paul who stood at her back, ready to rip her from the arms of her newest brother if anything started to happen.
The room erupted in cheers as all stood to greet him, welcoming him in their fold with easy acceptance as I stood back, watching them all with unease. Even now I was the loner, whether self-induced or by my own doing I never really knew, always outside the circle, so close and always looking in.
"Hey, Lee, stop being so stuck up and come meet Chase," Seth called, causing me to grin, I swore on some level he could sense my emotions, always knowing when to step in and what to say.
A path cleared as people allowed me in, their grinning faces surrounded me. At that moment Chase turned to me, his searing gaze meeting my own and for the first time time stood still. I had never seen anyone look at me the way he did, the intensity sending my lungs and heart into overdrive as I stumbled to a halt. He was breathtaking; much more so than his little brother, warmth spread across me as I openly ogled him.
"Hi," I whispered my uncharacteristic shyness surprising even myself as I held out my hand awkwardly, frowning when he didn't return the motion.
Hurt washed through me as I pulled my arm back, tucking it against my side as I mumbled an excuse and stumbled into the kitchen, the haunting silence echoing in my ears. I sniffled and frowned when a lone tear slipped down my cheek, anger washing through me as I slammed a pot down on the stove, grabbing the boxes of pasta from the top cabinet with more force than was necessary.
"Lee?" Seth asked as he came up behind me, his shadow towering over me as he turned me around, the hurt still echoing in me as he pulled me into his embrace. "What's wrong, Lee?"
"I don't want to talk about it," I mumbled as I turned around, motioning vaguely towards the living room where silent chatter had once more resumed.
"Don't you want to come back in? Sam and Jake were just telling us how we stumbled upon him," my brother said, a smile working its way over his face, even though it wasn't sincere, it still meant a lot.
"No, I think I'll start lunch, think you and the guys can haul out the grill from the garage? I think a barbeque is just the ticket," I said cheerfully, busily filling pans full of water as I prepared the macaroni, keeping my eyes away from my brother as much as possible.
"Alright, Lee, no prob," he responded before walking out, the squeaking of spring announcing he was doing exactly as I said, relief washed through me.
111111
I growled at the pan before me, wishing it would spontaneously combust with my glare, unfortunately it wasn't cooperating. I had been daydreaming again as I watched the men work in the backyard, their tall lean figures glistening in the scant rays of light that occasionally shone through the clouded sky. I had only glimpsed him once so far, a fleeting back of muscle as he stood to the side with the two Alphas speaking to them quietly. This was when I would shake myself and snarl at my stupidity before going back to cooking.
"Hey Lee, me and some of the girls are heading to the store to pick up some more food, anything you need?" Emily asked as she walked in, her hand grasping my elbow before I could hurl the wooden spoon at the pan lid.
"No," I signed as I turned to her, switching off the burner and thanking whoever was above that I would still be able to save the macaroni despite my wayward thoughts' best efforts.
"Okay, I just thought we'd pick up some chips and maybe some pop," she announced as she quickly strolled to my refrigerator, much more adept at this than I. "The elders went home, Kim's outside with Jared since he won't let her out of his sight for more than a couple hours, Rachel went home but will be back, said she needed to call Rebecca with Billy, support and all. Oh, and I'm taking Claire, any chance you can feed Benjamin for me?"
I nodded absentmindedly as I dumped the excess water off of the pasta and placed it back on the stove before hip checking my cousin out of the way. She laughed good naturedly and went upstairs to grab the kids as I added the milk and cheese to the pasta, stirring the contents slowly before adding a couple dabs of butter to each pain. The scent of melting cheese caused my stomach to grumble much to my annoyance and I quickly grabbed an apple to hold me until lunch.
"Here you go," Emily said as she placed Benjie in the highchair I kept for him here, his hands already going a mile a minute as he squealed. "Okay, his foods in the diaper bag and remember none of those baby snacks you love spoiling him with until after he eats."
I laughed her off as she walked out, grinning mischievously before deciding against it, it wasn't worth my cousin's wrath. Pouring the macaroni into several baking pans I swiftly put them into the oven, setting the timer before grabbing the diaper bag and looking inside. Scrunching my nose at the toddler who laughed at my expression, I brought out the mushy finger foods and cans of food that Emily had laden the bag with.
Opening the finger sausages I placed them on his favorite kangaroo plate before grabbing his sippy cup and filling it with milk, laughing as he shoved a sausage at his face. He missed his mouth completely and squealed as the mush smeared all over his chubby cheeks. I sighed in resignation; so far he had only been able to feed himself a handful of times, his enthusiasm for food out ruling his coordination most of the time. No doubt a wolf in training.
Pulling up a chair I grabbed a toddler spoon and opened the mashed veggies in disgust, wondering how he could possibly swallow this without trouble. The kid obviously had a stronger stomach than myself.
I smiled fondly as he happily ate, his gurgles of pleasure warming my heart and lifting my spirits. His bright eyes watched as I made plane and train sounds, swooping the spoon in dramatic affects as he giggled uncontrollably before me. The slight tinge of pink that laced his cheeks caused my own to grin as I briefly forgot about the arrival of Chase and his swift dismissal of me.
The kitchen door opened which I studiously ignored in favor of my favorite man in front of me, more than likely one of the pack or imprints coming in to grab something from the kitchen. I frowned when no more noise was present; the strange sound of rapid breathes filling my ears as I slowly turned. My eyes widened when I saw just who had come in, his dark eyes staring at me and Benjie with a guarded expression.
"Hey," I called trying to play off the earlier event in the living room like it was nothing, my heart pounding as I quickly stood and wiped the mush off of Benjie's face, trying desperately to ignore the man in my kitchen.
He didn't say anything, just continued to stare at me from the other end of the room, his warm gaze causing me to squirm and the hair on my arms to rise. The wolf whined at me, her restless pacing driving my movements to become jerky as I released Benjie from his makeshift prison and turned him loose. He laughed and launched forward, racing towards Chase.
I jumped as I realized my mistake and stepped forward, ready to rip the toddler from danger when the giant man picked up the laughing child and held him in his arms. Instantly my heart melted, my eyes softening as I watched him gently nuzzle the child and spoke in a low rumble as the child instantly stilled, his head falling on the man's strong shoulder, eyes drooping.
I stepped forward, amazed that the once frantic toddler instantly stilled for this stranger, a slow smile worked its way on my face as he slowly lowered the child in my arms. Warmth spread through me as I flushed when our skin made contact, my attraction to him flaring as I tried unsuccessfully to rid myself of any attachment my body was trying to make. Attachment was never a good idea.
"Sam," I called quietly as I opened the back door, instantly my former Alpha appeared and with a glance at Chase, took the child from me and headed up stairs, patting his son's back gently.
I watched them go, uncomfortable with the situation as I turned back, wishing the timer for the macaroni would go off so I could busy my hands with something. Any distraction was welcomed at this point.
"I wanted to apologize," he said, and I decided right then and there that his voice should be illegal, the delightful bass filled me and I smiled before quickly reminding myself that I wasn't going there. "I was rude earlier, my name's Chase Black."
"Leah Clearwater," I said tentatively as I grasped his outstretched hand, marveling that my own palm suddenly seemed so small next to his. He really was huge.
I gulped audibly as I stared into his fathomless eyes, my lips pressing together as the electricity from earlier shot through me, I wondered if he felt it too.
"Hey, Leah…whoops! Sorry," Jake said as he came in, rubbing the back of his neck, smiling, he looked between the two of us awkwardly as I quickly pulled my hand back; not realizing I still held his.
"What do you need, Jake?" I asked as I turned back to the oven to check on the food, knowing already that it still had a few minutes but needing the distraction.
"Just wanted to say the food's ready and Emily's back," he responded as he fully stepped inside, leaning casually against the counter. "So….did I interrupt something?"
"Shut up, Jake," I responded bitingly, glaring at him over my shoulder as Chase shifted his heated eyes and glared at his brother. "Listen you two, make yourselves useful and help me carry the macaroni outside."
111111
Pack meals were always a loud event as dozens of conversations were tossed back and forth and laughter filled the air. Seth knocked me with his shoulder as I glared at him, tossing my hair over my shoulder as the boys roared with laughter once again. I grinned despite everything, a quick glance over at Chase making my heart flutter as he laughed along with him, the seriousness of earlier erasing itself. I felt my heart jolt.
Shaking myself I turned back to the imprints, ignoring the men and their loud guffaws in favor of the tamer side of things. Not that I couldn't take their jabs with the best of them but today my nerves were far too raw to deal with their antics.
"So, Leah," Jake called pulling me away from the very interesting debate on whether checkered or floral curtains were better for Kim and Jared's new kitchen or not. The imprints definitely needed to get out more.
"What?" I asked as I turned around, frowning at the gleam in Jacob's eye, nothing good ever came from that look.
"When's your next patrol?" Jake asked, his innocent face making my own scrunch into a glare, he knew very well when it was.
"Tonight…why?" I growled as Seth suddenly snickered beside me drawing the attention of the imprints, their gazes searing me.
"Oh, nothing much, just knew it was coming up and all," he replied casually as he ate another chip, his grin spreading throughout all the men except Chase, who glared.
"What are you getting at Jake?" I demanded as I fully turned towards him, hoping that at full on I could make him squirm, should have known it would have no effect.
"Oh, nothing much really, I just knew that Brady was sick of patrolling with your grumpy ass, so…."
"Hey, don't bring me into this!" Brady interrupted as he turned to me, his hands waving back and forth to try to placate this blunder, I could care less.
"As I was saying," Jacob went on as he shot a glance at the upset pup, "that it seems like you need a new partner and I have just the wolf. Leah, meet your new punch dummy!"
I glanced across at me to Chase who Jacob was gesturing wildly to, my stomach dropping in me suddenly as the elder brother gripped the table tightly. As I suspected he hated the idea, the earlier good mood suddenly vanishing as the veil of comradery slipped away, leaving me cold and shivering. There was no way Chase wished to patrol with the local bitch, no one did, not even my brother even though he adamantly denied it.
"Listen Jake, I don't think it's a good idea for me to be training the newbies anymore," I commented as I bowed my head and stood, grasping my plate, ignoring the look of shock that crossed his face or the stiffened posture of Seth to my left.
"Leah, don't be…" Seth began but quickly stopped when I turned to him, my eyes full of anger and hatred for all of them, for all of this.
"No, Seth, just mind your own damn business for once," I growled as I turned on my heel and rushed inside, enjoying the finality of the screen slamming behind me.
111111
I huffed as I took another circuit, the wolf grinning lopsidedly as she ran at top speed, enjoying the feel of the crisp wind ruffling her fur. It had been a couple weeks since the ill-fated luncheon and to my extreme satisfaction Jake had taken Chase off my route, his expression full of remorse as he had apologized profusely for bringing up the past. And now I ran them alone, well as alone as I could with an overly concerned Alpha popping up every five minutes to make sure I wasn't dead.
The quiet within my mind soothed the human side of me, glad for once to able to enjoy my gifts without peep shows of the local imprints running through my mind. I had seen enough naked women in my head to last me a lifetime, and enough pornos to last me for the rest of forever. Who knew Emily could be that flexible? I shuddered at that thought.
Shaking my massive head I circled around the Cullens, rolling my eyes as I glimpsed Jake out in the yard with Renesmee. The two were cute; Jake easily letting the girl beat him in all of their games. Edward stood on the backstairs watching the two closely, he was still having a hard time accepting the situation. I supposed that made sense, any father would be worried, though I figured the half-leech was damn lucky she got someone as great as our Alpha. The leech should be happy that she was assured a happy future with someone who would always look after her.
Stopping I turned back around, leisurely jogging, no need to patrol an area that I was sure my Alpha had checked a dozen times, he didn't even let the girl sneeze without the leech doctor checking her out from head to toe. I rolled my eyes, mentally wondering why I envied those imprints, they were obviously being suffocated. No, being alone was the best thing. I grimaced as the wolf whined and protested.
Stopping short I felt his presence wash through me before his scent reached my nose, my lip rising in frustration as I waited for him to approach.
He appeared then, his massive shoulders parting the brush as he stepped towards me, the deep russet fur reminding me so much of his brother. The low rumble of welcome rose in me before I could quench it, the other wolf woofing softly before stopping by my shoulder. His shoulder nudge my slightly and I balked as my tail thumped against the ground, the human side of me quickly chastising the wayward wolf.
"Leah, I hope you don't mind me joining you, I needed to get away from the others for awhile," Chase said in my mind and again I marveled at the ease at which he kept me from his thoughts, only allowing the words he wished for me to hear and the local baseball scores to float through me.
"No its fine, it's pretty quiet out here anyways," I responded as I stood and loped back towards La Push, his form easily keeping step with my smaller gray form.
Fear washed through me when he turned and growled his body stiffening as the scent of leech reached my nose. No, this couldn't be happening, not now. The vampire from before slipped through my mind as my fear spiked, the sight of Seth's terror moving in my mind's eye as I tried backing away. The whine that worked its way up my throat alerted Chase to my emotions and by the look in his eyes I knew he had seen my memories. His muscles bunched.
The bushes shifted in front of me, my paws prancing as I waited for the inevitable, waiting for the scarlet eyes to overtake me again.
Just as I was sure my heart could take no more Emmett rolled out, a devilish grin on his face when he realized he had company, not at all caring when the deer he had been after sprinted off. My stomach dropped for a whole new reason now.
"Well, well, what do we have here?" he asked as I grabbed Chase's tail, keeping him from launching himself at the overconfident leech.
"Cullen?" he asked as he turned to me, the rumble in his throat dying down slightly, though his posture didn't change.
"Yeah, the annoying one," I responded as I stepped forward, my shoulder brushing his as I stood before the huge leech.
"Aw, secret conversations, so cute," Emmett laughed as he leaned against a boulder, his face contorted in glee. "So where were you two going all alone?"
I growled at his leering and snapped at him, grumbling to myself when he easily stepped away, his booming laugh making my eyes squint further. The hair on the back of my neck rose as I watched him once more fall into place, grinning wildly.
"Now, now Leah, why don't you tell me how you really feel? I don't understand wolf lingo, besides, it's not like we wouldn't enjoy the show," he said as he gestured between himself and Chase, this time the wolf to my side let loose a deep rumble, his muscles steeling themselves as his steady gaze focused in on the leech.
Emmett guffawed again, his laugh echoing throughout the forest at our expense. Why was he my favorite leech again?
"Emmett McCarty!" a screech sounded as the scent of female leech reached us, the beautiful blonde dancing into our vision. "Leave them alone!"
"Aw, come on babe," Emmett said as he gathered her in his arms, winking at us, "you know I'm only playing with the doggies."
She smiled at him lovingly as she rolled her eyes, shrugging her small shoulders at me before placing a chaste kiss on his stone cheek. I was thankful for Chase's lack of lusty thoughts, I had been had enough of those around this particular vamp. Though the males would never admit it, when the wind blew their scent away from us they couldn't help but admire her beauty. It always made me decidedly uncomfortable.
"What am I going to do with you?" she said simply before removing herself from his embrace and tugging on his arm. "Come on, let's go finish our hunt."
"As long as the prey is you," he retorted as he swatted her on the butt, my grimace resounding in my thoughts and envy growing in my every nerve. Great now I was jealous of a leech.
"Perhaps if you're a good boy," she said fleetingly as she skipped out of his reach, her golden hair glistening as much as he skin when the sun slipped through the trees.
"We both know, babe, that there ain't nothin' good about me," he leered as he caught her, pressing his body close as she laughed.
"Well come on then bad boy, I may just have to punish you for that," she teased as she pulled him along, her footsteps not making a sound. "We'll see you around pups! Try not to make too much noise; the sound of wolf sex really isn't appetizing."
My jaw fell open as Emmett's booming laugh sounded at his mate's comment, my whole body slumping as I tried to figure out who had taken over the model leech's body. Chase stared at where they had disappeared, his body still before he turned back to look at me. I shrugged my shoulder as best as I could and took off; glad that no one could see me blush in wolf form, even if he would know how embarrassed I was.
Hoping that we wouldn't run into anymore of the Cullens, I slumped in relief when we reached the border, not that it really mattered anymore. Still the old boundary still brought me some relief, usually they didn't show here unless there was an injury or the hunting got really good.
"Leah, wait, can we talk?" Chase asked, calling my attention to the fact that he had stopped, his head looking away from me.
"Uh, sure, do we need to change back for that?" I asked as I felt my skin heat again, the thought of shifting in the general area of him sending my nerves into overdrive.
"No, uh, I think it's best if we stay like this," I frowned at his comment but mentally agreed; I was way too attracted to him to be nude anywhere near him.
"Yeah, okay, what's up?" I asked as he sat beside him, nudging him slightly, narrowing my eyes when I didn't even budge him, stupid giants.
"Listen, I've been acting weird around you, and I want to apologize," he began, causing my stomach to drop, I did not want him to know how he affected me, the wolf in me whined though, wishing to know what we had done wrong.
"It's not your fault, don't think that. Nothing could be your fault, Leah, this is such a mess. That day when I first came here, when I first saw you it was the most amazing moment of my life. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met, so strong and kind. You protect your pack with all your strength not asking for anything in return. You're amazing, the most wonderful…"
"No, stop please," I begged as I stood up, backing away, his head dipping at my movement as a whine built in his throat, my heart stuttered. No…no…this couldn't be happening…no,no,no,no,no.
"Please, Leah, I'm sorry, I really am, but you're everything to me…I…I can't get you out of my head," he went on standing as well, imploring me with his eyes to understand.
"NO!" I cried even as the words formed inside him.
"That day we met, Leah, I imprinted, you're it for me," he said as he wagged his tail slightly his entire form slumped in defeat.
I stood there, repeating the words over and over, fear washing through me. My wolf yipped in pleasure but my human cried out in terror, my head shaking as I took an unsteady step back, my whole form shaking. I knew if I had been in my other form that I would be crying, blubbering like a baby. This couldn't be happening, I couldn't let him in, he'd just hurt me like all the others.
"Leah, please…" he begged as he took another step forward, his ears pressed firmly against his head, the wave of love and understanding hitting me full force as he opened himself up to me.
With a cry I turned and ran as fast as I could, ignoring his agonized yells to return. I needed to escape, to get away from him. I would not allow another male to hurt me, I couldn't survive another one. He wouldn't be any different, they were all the same.
Skidding to a halt behind my house I shifted and slipped my clothes on, my movements uncoordinated as my body shook with my sobs. This couldn't be happening, why? What did I do to deserve this torture? I was meant to be alone and now this man came in telling me I was his one and only? Those things didn't exist for me.
I raced inside slamming and locking the doors and windows, hysterical. I didn't want to see anyone. I refused to face this. There was only so much my heart could take.
111111
I groaned as another hard shake to my shoulder flipped me over, an aggravated mumble alerting me to the fact I was not alone. I felt like shit, my eyes burned and my cheeks felt tight. I didn't remember falling asleep, the agony from earlier gripping my heart as my eyes shot open, a moan of sorrow ripping through me.
"Shhh, Lee, its okay," Seth said as he slipped under the covers with me, holding me as I trembled.
"How…how…did you get in here?" I hiccupped, my arms tightening around his arm as I pulled him closer, accepting comfort from one of the few I could trust without doubt.
"Dude, I live here, do you not think I know where the spare key is?" he snorted as he flipped me over to face him, his arms loosening as he scooted back, glaring at me. "We need to talk, Lee."
"No," I mumbled as I turned my head away trying to shrug off his arm that grasped my shoulder, preventing me from rolling away. "I don't want to talk about it, Seth."
"That's fine but you're going to listen," he snapped, my own snarl forming at his challenge, the wolf not caring whether we were blood or not. "And stop with that alpha-ish crap, you can act all macho later."
"Whatever," I snapped as I turned my head to glare at him, his own face marred in anger, and suddenly my own ire slipped away, leaving me a mess.
"How could you do that Lee? You know what it's like for us, hell you've experienced every imprint for yourself, and don't think I don't know how envious you are of everyone of those girls. And now you get your chance, here comes this great guy, another wolf, your imprint, and what do you do? You rip is fucking heart out Leah, he's out in the woods right now, moaning and all depressed," Seth's words hit me hard, my eyes closing as I felt the tears prick my eyes again. Guilt washed through me, I didn't want Chase to hurt.
"I didn't mean…"I began before he knocked me, his growl stopping me short.
"I don't give a shit what you didn't mean to do, Lee, you're my sister and I love you no matter what, but this self absorbed, poor me crap has got to stop. I know you feel alone, I know you feel like the outsider, but fuck, here's someone that will love you no matter what, and what do you do? Fucking run away like chicken shit, that's what. I thought you were stronger than that," he accused, I shook my head at his naivety, he didn't get it.
"You don't understand Seth, you just don't get it. I learned my lesson, I'm never ever letting another hurt me again," I responded as my heart thundered, my lips drying as I finally admitted it out loud.
"That's bull and you know it, he's your fucking imprint, Lee. Did ever cross your mind that he can't hurt you like those two bastards? You two were made for each other, made to make each other happy and made to have awesome babies, so get off your puny ass and go make nice with your new boy toy," Seth said as he sat up, pulling on my arm, I shook him off.
"Listen Seth, I don't know how, but he will, they all do. And as much as I appreciate your concern, I don't think this is any of your business," I snapped, glaring at him, his face darkened.
"None of my business, really Lee? I'm your fucking brother; I've been with you every step of the way, supporting you no matter what, but no more. You're wrong this time Lee, and I'm not sitting here and letting you ruin the one good thing in your life. I will get every damn wolf over here if I have to to carry you from this bed. Hell, I'll call mom," I grimaced at that, my nose scrunching. "Yeah that's right, mom. What do you think she'll say about this, huh?"
I grumbled as I sat up, rolling my shoulders, refusing to look up at Seth's grinning face, damn pup and his leverage.
"Don't be too happy pup, I should skin your hide for that," I commented as I stood and walked towards the door, hoping my nerves would calm by the time I found my…my…imprint.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever Lee, go find your man and have great make up sex. Just…make sure you guys patrol together, I do not want to see my sister like that," he said as he laughed, I shook my head, not like I wanted my brother to see me in that position either.
I stepped outside, scenting the air, hoping against hope that I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life.
1111111
I found him curled in a ball only a few yards from where I had left him, his giant muzzle tucked beneath his paws as his sides shook with each shuddering breath. His ears were pressed to his head and my heart lurched. He was the picture of agonizing grief, complete defeat wafting out of him, and with fear I realized just how prone and defenseless he had left himself.
Walking cautiously, not sure if he realized I was even there, I reached out and touched him gently, his head jerking up surprising me. A deep whine resonated in his chest as he stared at me, his ears that had perked up earlier in surprise slumping back down, his body shifting closer together as if readying himself for an attack. I felt my own heart beat in empathy as sorrow filled me. I had done this, I had hurt him worse than what I had been hurt by the others.
"I'm sorry," I whispered as I stepped forward again, my hand resting against his muzzle tenderly, tears slipping freely down my face. "I was scared, and it's no excuse, I freaked. I'm sorry, so so sorry."
I sniffled as I tried to wipe my eyes, hiccupping when his cold nose snuffled my hair, a whine building in his throat. His chin caught my shoulder causing me to stumble into his warm chest, his steady heartbeat echoing in my ears. It was the sweetest thing I had ever heard. His neck curled around me, his head resting on my knees as I relaxed, letting my wolf soothe me.
The leaves above moved lazily in the afternoon breeze and dapples of sunlight warmed my face against the early autumn chill. Squirrels chattered noisily, jumping from branch to branch as the songbirds twittered joyfully in their nests, their young peeping loudly as they stood on the edge, readying for their first flight. A deer in the distance snapped a twig, his head whipping around, scenting us before taking off, a young fox darting out at the disturbance from her hole, a few yips sounding behind her. But I was only aware of this in the back of my mind, the fighter in me alert at all times, but all I could see, all I could feel was the lumbering breaths that tickled my skin and the russet fur that surrounded me.
"You know, I've never been in this situation, I've never been in power. The power to hurt you scares me and the power you hold to hurt me, frightens me," I commented as I ran my hands through his fur, a contented rumble vibrating his chest.
I sighed, resting my head in between his shoulder and neck, the comforting rise and fall of his chest lulling me into a drowsy state of awareness.
"Maybe you should shift back, as much as I hate talking about stuff, I think we need to," I said, missing his warmth as soon as it was gone, he obviously agreed with my assessment.
A moment later Chase stepped through the foliage, his hands absently rubbing his neck, a laugh building in me at the similarities between the two brothers despite growing up apart. Both were strong confident males but as unsure in some situations a newborn pups.
"Hey," he whispered as he sat in front me, crossing his long legs with ease, his hand taking a hold of mine, my own gaze drawn to the sight.
"Hey," I responded, grinning as I squeezed his hand, comforted by the unfamiliar weight. "I'm sorry again, for how I reacted, I shouldn't have done that."
"I understand," he said as he glanced at me, his eyes freezing me in place. "I knew how hard this would be for you, just know that I promise to never hurt you like that…ever."
I nodded my head, content with his answer, grasping a hold of blind hope once more, praying that this once it wouldn't lead me astray.
111111
"So, your mom never married?" I asked as I leaned against his chest, my fingers playing with his as the warm breeze ruffled my hair.
"She did once, to a man named Richard, he beat her repeatedly. I was twelve. He only lasted a year, it was hell though. I had to hide so many bruises when I went to school, I think the teachers suspected but they never said anything. After one really bad night, Richard broke my arm, mom kicked him out, ended up calling the police. He was arrested the next day, I've never seen him since," he said, his chin resting on my head as I felt contentment weave through me once again.
"So it's just you and Seth?" he asked as he brought my hands up to his lips, kissing my skin gently before placing it back in my lip.
"Yeah, mom and dad wanted to have another but after Seth mom wasn't able to. It didn't really bother me much, and after a little while they didn't seem to mind too much either. I mean one brother is more than enough," I laughed, glancing towards the house curiously, wondering if said brother was inside.
"Were you lonely growing up?" I asked, searching his face as he sighed heavily his brow scrunching together.
"No, my mother didn't marry again, but she had more children, though their father's were much less respectable than my own. She had felt guilty for ages, knowing that Billy hadn't known and the one time she had sought him out to come clean, she had found him married with twin daughters, Jake on the way. She hadn't wanted to ruin his happiness so she went back to the reservation and didn't try again. After that there was a line of hookups that lasted only a few weekends. I have three siblings, two sisters and one brother, all still in high school. The most they hear from their fathers is a check once a month," he explained as he leaned more back against the tree trunk, a sigh working its way passed his lips.
"What happened to your dad? I asked Seth once but he refused to answer," Chase asked, my shoulders hitched as pain raced through me. "Hey, you don't have to answer."
"No, no, I need to. You should know. Daddy always had a bad heart and he refused to watch what he ate despite mom trying to force health food down his throat at every turn. That week me and Seth had been running fevers and really grouchy, snapping at everyone over stupid stuff. Dad recognized what was going on with Seth, he was an elder, but wrote mine off as being a hormonal teenage girl. That night Seth phased first and he handled that fine, calling Sam and all, keeping mom busy in the bedroom. He was coming to check on me, to make sure I wasn't seeing anything and when he opened the door to my room I lost it. I yelled at him for disturbing my privacy, for always bugging me and the next thing I know my clothes are shredded and I'm standing on four legs instead of two. Dad was so surprised that his heart gave out. I cried out and mom came down, screaming when she saw me. Me and Seth ran after that, luckily we were so confused and scared that it didn't take long for Sam to find us," I told him, my body shaking as he pulled me tighter against his chest, kissing my temple gently as a rumble built in his chest, soothing my frayed nerves.
"I'm sorry," he said, the deep ache in his voice soothed me, his complete acceptance humbling me as I fell further into his embrace, for once relying on someone else to be in control.
111111
I groaned, shifting and pulling the blankets tighter around me, grinning when a certain body behind me made himself known. Strong arms gripped me as his face nuzzled the back of my neck, his body molding around me as he sighed and settled back down into slumber. His muscles rippled beneath my touch and I giggled, feeling like some virginal school girl after her first night alone with a boy, elation rocking me.
Glancing back I bit my lip at the boyish man behind me, his light snores warming me from head to toe. Another giggle bursting forth as another part of his anatomy brushed against me, straining for my attention. He was definitely no boy.
He blearily opened one eye, huffing when he noticed my amusement before stretching his body, his muscles rubbing deliciously along my own. Desire pulled low in my stomach as his arms tightened, a rumble forming in his chest as he flipped me over, his body hovering over my own. I bit my lip as I stared up into his lustful eyes, a smirk forming on his wonderfully talented lips.
"Good morning," he said as he leaned down to steal a kiss, my breath hitching as I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him further down on top of me.
His arousal brushed my leg and I quickly parted, loving the feeling of him resting against me, his weight pressing me into the mattress. Last night had been perfect, his form moving over me as he dominated me, forcing me to submit to his control, my wolf yipping excitedly as we finally accepted our mate. The once suffocating thought of giving up my control for even a moment leaving me in a rush of pleasure, fully trusting myself to him.
I gasped as his hands grazed my breasts, my teeth biting down harder as pleasure shot through me. It had been so long since I had been intimate with a man, my first and only had been Sam several years ago. Surprisingly that thought didn't haunt me, the thought bringing fond memories rather than sadness. The man above me was my future; Sam and Jake were my past.
Giggling as his hands roamed my sides, all thoughts left me when he touched me, my gasp spurring him forward. He quickly entered me with his fingers, his thumb toying with me as I cried out, my body lifting as I tried to draw him closer, my heel pushing on his back, trying to feel the delicious friction I so craved. He growled lowly, his other hand moving to hold my arms above my head, his body refusing to move to my invitation.
I groaned as the sight drove the desire lower still, filling me with delicious heat as he masterfully worked me. My climax came swift and heavy, washing over me as I tensed before slumping heavily against the sheets, panting as I stared up in amazement. Chase leaned down, his lips ghosting over my own as he worked me down from my high, his hands gently soothing my over sensitive nerves.
Parting for him, I whined in my throat, begging him to not tease me. He chuckled before sliding home, my breath hitching at the rightness of it all. I had never felt so full, as complete as when he joined with me, all of me happily accepting him. He groaned above, stilling himself as he brushed my hair tenderly from my face as he rocked with me. Our bodies soared together, completion running through me
Slumping on top of me I hugged him, panting as we both came back down, our limbs tangled together as I lay content to just be held.
"Good morning to you too," I laughed as he chuckled above me, his form shifting as he removed himself from me, my lips frowning at the loss.
He wrapped his arms back around me and pulled me hard against his chest as he played affectionately with my fingers.
"Hey, we need to get up, mom's coming over in a couple hours and as cool as she is, I don't think she'd appreciate finding us in this position," I said after a couple moments of silence, my heart swelling with love.
"Yeah I guess, probably not the best impression to make on my future mother-in-law," he groused as he stood, shaking his head, not noticing the blush that stole my cheeks or the happiness that bubbled through me at the mention of someday him being married to me.
"Probably not," I played it off; standing as well as I grabbed my sweats and one of his shirts I glanced around my room, smiling at the amount of his clothes that now lay across my floor.
"Probably should shower, you can go first," he said as he stretched again, I licked my lips at the sight, giggling again.
"Care to join me?" I asked playfully, tugging on his arm. He grinned as he pulled on his own sweats, taking my hand and leading me to the door.
"Hell yes, babe."
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"Ugh, you guys mind keeping it down at night, some of us need to sleep," Seth complained as we entered the kitchen, his stern face not masking his delighted eyes as he watched us.
I glowered at him as Chase laughed good-naturedly, not at all concerned by the lack of privacy, stupid boys.
"Hey, I never complain when Nicole stays over, and just to let you know Chase, that girl is a screamer," I bit back, satisfied when Seth glared at me.
"You just keep your mouth shut about that stuff, Nicole won't ever come back if she thinks you guys can hear," he groused as he returned to eat his oatmeal and bacon, passing me the orange juice when I motioned for it.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll keep it a secret. But hey, how do you know that Chase won't come back now that you opened your big mouth?" I said as I happily accepted my bowl of cereal from my mate, his warm arm wrapping around me as he sat down to eat as well.
Seth snorted, his eyes rolling as he took another bite. "Yeah right, he's a dude, Lee; as long as he's getting some he'll keep coming back."
I bit back a snarl as Chase laughed, shaking his head at our banter. "Sorry babe, he's right. You can't get rid of me even if you tried."
I grinned at that, sweetly pecking him on the lips as Seth gagged beside us, my heart completely full. Life couldn't get better.
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I groaned as Seth barged his way into my house, his banter with his two friends increasingly annoying my already frayed nerves. Why couldn't they just shut up?
"Hey, idiots, keep it down!" I yelled from my place in the kitchen, the three stooges quickly entered, shoving each other as they sat around my table.
"Hey, Lee, you remember where we put that old crib of ours? Mom said it was in the attic but I can't find it," Seth asked as he through a chip at Collin's head, the young man quickly catching it in his mouth with a grin.
"Did you check the garage? I think dad moved it out there one time when mom was on one of her spring cleaning rampages," I answered as I slipped some more bacon on the skillet, glowering at the growing mass in my kitchen.
"I'll check," he grumbled as he leaned back in his chair, his eyes glaring at the now snickering duo. "Nicky's getting all bent out of shape, getting the nursery ready and whatever. She's not even three months!"
I shook my head and laughed at my brother's dilemma, the couple had been ecstatic at the news of her pregnancy just two months after their wedding, but now all Seth did was bitch.
"Hey, you be nice," I commanded, shaking my spatula at him, "you do not get to grouse to me about that. Until you swell up like a balloon and push a walnut out of your penis you can just keep quiet."
Chase laughed as he walked in the kitchen, his hair still mussed from sleep, his eyes twinkling as he spun me around for a kiss, his hand resting gently against my protruding stomach. His gentle caress caused my knees to weaken, my nerves dancing as Seth groaned behind us, rolling his eyes.
"Really guys? We are here you know," Brady called and ducked as Chase swung his arm out, grazing the pup across his head.
I rolled my eyes at them and turned back to breakfast, smiling fondly when the sound of scampering feet reached my ears.
"Mommy! Mommy!" Alisha called as she ran through the kitchen door, her tiny feet tripping her up before she stood back up again, tugging at my paints insistently.
"What is it, hun?" I asked as I looked down at the glowing black eyes of my daughter, her pout causing my smile to spread.
"Davey tried cutting my hair!" she shouted as she pointed to the very guilty form of my son, his bottom lip pointed out as he hid the scissors I remembered pointedly putting them in a child locked drawer.
"Tattletale!" he cried as a few tears formed in his eyes, I glared, pressing my hands to my hips in agitation as a vision of my mother danced through my head. I frowned.
"David Michael Black, where did you get those?" I demanded as I fully turned, Chase already standing and removing the scissors from his hand.
"I…I…I sorry mommy!" he wailed as his little fists covered his eyes, not at all working to melt my resolve like I was sure he wanted.
"That's not what I wanted, where did you get those?" I asked again as I strolled to him, standing directly in front of him, his little eyes never looked up.
"I…I found them," he stuttered and I sighed heavily, not at all in the mood for this this early in the morning, I hadn't slept much the night before, the little rascal inside of me taking care of that.
"Yeah, you found them in a locked drawer. Oh Davey, how in the world did you get into it?" I asked, not at all expecting an answer.
I went back to cooking letting Chase finish the punishment, a headache forming behind my eyes. I loved my children dearly, but they tried my patience on the best of days. As little sleep as I was getting now, I couldn't imagine how I would deal with my brood once the newest one was here.
Seth reached over and grabbed Alisha, placing her in her seat as she squirmed, laughing, her upset from earlier already gone. I thanked my brother silently, not at all sure if my back was up to lifting the tike today. Placing the food on the table I sat down next to my husband and mate, smiling as he wrapped me in his arms briefly before letting one drape across my shoulder as he ate.
I smiled and started my own, content. Looking at my table I felt my heart swell with pride and love, more grateful than ever for Chase's appearance in my life. I had the family I always wanted, the crazy, dysfunctional, but completely mine, family I had always wanted. Even now as Alisha launched her spoon at Davey's head and Seth knocked Brady off his seat, I knew there was no other placed I wanted to be.
Reaching over I grabbed my mate's hand, content to watch as my kitchen was destroyed by the loud bunch. I had never been happier.
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed it. Thanks for reading. Ja!