A/N: BACKSTORY:

I started this fic on the 6th of November in 2011, and I only made it to the 5th paragraph…. I was looking through my old, unfinished fics, and this one was labeled "CrissColfer." I had no idea what it was, and when I opened it, I realized it was the death fic that I never finished. Short story shorter, I was inspired to finish it, so I did. Here it is:

xxx

Chris slowly made his way across the field of green and amber, his feet pushing through little piles of orange leaves that gathered and brushing plates of marble and limestone with every other step he took. He would glance up at times to make sure he was going the right way. Why he was going, though, he couldn't tell. All he knew was that he needed to settle this. He needed some type of closure.

His feet stopped almost instantly at the sight of the single plate he was looking for. His eyes raked over the fresh soil, then trailed over to the bouquets of tulips and lilies, and then up to the simple lettering carved into the light grey marble.

Darren Everett Criss

1987-2013

A man whose voice fell on eager ears, whose smile was a cause of happiness and joy, whose song was sung by millions all over, whose heart he generously shared to everyone, whose existence changed the world.

He chuckled slightly at how small the lettering was for everything to fit, but was once again brought back into his solemn state once he read it. Chris found himself wiping a tear that had strayed from his eye and rolled down his cheek.

"You were missed yesterday."

Chris jumped slightly at the voice, and cautiously turned around. Chuck. Chuck Criss. Chris turned back to the headstone, not quite being able to handle the sight of Darren's brother.

"Not so much, I hope," Chris replied, barely enough for Chuck to hear. But he did.

"Much. By us." Chuck took his place right beside Chris, looking the headstone over with just as much intent as he had the day before.

"Meaning?"

"Everyone."

"Everyone?"

Chuck sighed and turned his head to Chris. "They were all here, you know," he said quietly. "Glee, the Starkids… mom, dad, me. Hell, even Ryan and Ian were here. We were all here. We all knew… you weren't here." There was no resentment in his voice. It wasn't the time to judge.

Chris raised his eyebrow. "All of you? Knew?"

Chuck nodded, turning back to the headstone. A palpable silence followed, neither knowing what to say next, and all that was heard was Chris' slowly growingly staggered breathing.

"I'm sorry," Chris said, in between breaths.

Chuck nodded.

"I couldn't…"

"You don't have to explain," Chuck said before letting Chris continue. "You would've liked it though.

Chris chuckled darkly, turning his head to look at Chuck again. "How is that possible?"

"It was much more quiet than I thought it would be… It was as private and small as we could get it… He would've liked that." Chris gave a low, approving hum at that, turning back to the headstone. "People sang a little, we held hands… I would've held your hand..." Chris gave a genuine chuckle at that.

"It was great."

"Great," Chris echoed. "Great."

The two couldn't seem to stop staring at the headstone, the shock of its presence in place of a much more favorable one still not sinking in. This was never part of the plan.

"Why are you back," Chris suddenly asked, turning back to the brother. "I mean… why. How could you… How do you… how…"

Chris was surprised when Chuck hushed him and reached up to gently wipe away the tears that were running down his cheeks. He didn't even notice he started crying.

"I had a hunch that you'd be here."

"How," Chris asked through hiccups.

Chuck simply shrugged. "Neither of you could really stay away from each other for too long." He looked back to the headstone, taking Chris' hand this time out of its pocket where he buried it, and held it, which put a shadow of a smile on Chris' face and stopped the hiccups momentarily.

whose heart he generously shared

"You meant so much to him."

Chris' face crumpled and tears sprang out, holding a steady stream down his face this time, and he turned to wrap his arms around Chuck waist and bury his face into Chuck's shoulder, incessantly mumbling apologies and 'I loved him's as Chuck continued to whisper hushes and 'we know's in Chris' ear and rub circles into his back.

"You mean so much to us too, Chris," Chuck said, his voice breaking as a few drops escaped his eyes as well. "We wanted you there, most of all… mom, dad and I, we wanted you to be there so much."

A hundred more apologies, and a hundred more 'it's okay's later, the two men found themselves sitting on the leaf-scattered grass in front of Darren's headstone, Chris' head leaning on Chuck's shoulder, and Chuck's head on top of his, much too exhausted from these past few days.

"Chris?" Chuck mumbled, feeling a yawn build up in him and letting it out.

"Yeah?"

"You made him happy."

Chris smiled sadly. "He made me happier."

Chuck laughed a little. "I doubt that."

The boys lifted their heads, and Chris turned his slowly to Chuck once again.

"Do you think we'll ever be happy again?" Chris asked. "I mean, of course we will, eventually… maybe. But right now, it just really doesn't feel like it'll ever get better."

"Eventually…" Chuck trails off, and ponders for a moment before looking back to Chris. "But we don't have to be. At least not right now, we don't,"

Chris whispered in reply. "I want to be."

Chuck sighed.

"Then we will be."