AN: Just a small twist will be edited if inspiration strikes. Please review.
last edit: 6/8/2013

"Again and again"

It was painful. Of course it was. Having each beam pass through your body. Piercing it. Over and over again. I was in an incredible amount of the look of horror on her face was by far the most painful of all. Her face was so pained, so scared, so helpless. Knowing that I was the one causing it. Knowing that for her to be safe, I had to die.

Over and over again the beams from those dragons hit me. A fresh new pain again and again as it ripped and tattered my body.

And then suddenly it stopped. I was still standing. I thought I have beaten death yet again. Saved by the skin of my teeth. But death would not be beaten. Not today.

One shot to the head and then another and another and another until I fell to the ground. Then it rained and I felt the water bounce off my battered body. Lying there bloody and motionless. I wanted to fight but how could I? I was barely hanging on. I was barely breathing. My body is screaming in pain but I had no strength left to even scream. To cry out. To call her. To tell her.

There was a lot of noise and then nothing. My consciousness was slipping. As the darkness consumed me I saw her face. It was blurry but I could tell that she was crying. And I was just there lying motionless on the ground. I couldn't hear a word she's saying. Or anything at all. Even in the brink of death I feel so happy that's she's okay. I always thought that she would be the one sacrificing herself for me. I was always worried that I had to stop her from doing something like this. I would have never thought that I was going to sacrifice myself. But right now she's crying and I can't move my arms to hold her. I can't move my lips to tell her everything going to be okay.

I can't tell her what I was going to say. I can't remember. It wasn't important but she had to know. What did she have to know? I'm losing a lot of blood fast. And all I see is her face. I wanted to tell her. Her beautiful face. But she's crying. I wanted to apologize. It wasn't fair what I've done to her. I'm sorry about this. I hope she knows that. But she needed to live. She had so much to live for. She was a much better person than I was. She had love and life and happiness to give. She had to live. Because in all honesty I can't see a world without her in it. Someday I hope she'll understand. When she has 30 kids and a husband who adores her as much as she did me. When she gets to live the life she deserved and then she'd understand why I've done what I did. And then she'll thank me for saving her. After 70 years or so when she has lived her life. After she's done everything she wanted to do we'll see each other again. Not too soon I hope. Never too soon.

Then, suddenly, I grow numb. I can't feel anything at all. Though feeling pain was better than feeling nothing. Because now I can feel death's grip on me getting tighter. This is a great way to die because at least the last thing I get to see is her face. The darkness that has been slowly creeping its way into my vision has finally reached her. She's fading away. I have to go now. Please take care. Don't you forget me. Then everything goes dark.

With a start I wake up in my bed alone. At first I'm confused. I'm alive? And then reality hits me like the beams in my dreams. The memories flood my brain and I remember that it was her. She sacrificed herself for me. She stepped in the way. She took the hit for me. Again and again and again. I was the one with the horrified look on my face. And it was her who was lying motionless in my arms as I told her over and over again that everything was going to be fine. That she were going to live. That she had to live. That she had to hang on for the guild. For Cana and Lisanna and all her friends. For Gajeel. For me.

Seconds from waking up and I'm back in this cold reality. This reality where she is gone and I am here. That she died and I survive. I look out the window and it was raining. It reminded me of her. Everything reminded me of her. I can't even say her name. I can't even think her name for goodness sake. Guilt and regret fills me everyday. Oh God the regret. I was going to tell her then. Tell her what I felt for her. Tell her that I love her. And I still do. I always will. I love her present and future. I'd like to think she knew. I'd like to think she died knowing. I'd like to think so because if she didn't it would kill me.

AN: Don't burn the author.