Disclaimer: I own nothing.
So for my 50th story, I have decided to do something special: I am remastering my very first story on FanFiction, A Forever Kind Of Love. So for those of you who read that story, you'll know quite a bit of what this story will bring; if you haven't read it, just try this one out first…it's gonna be better 'cause I've grown as a Morcia writer.
This story is dedicated to readers who have been with me since the beginning :) Please accept my thanks and gratitude.
The wedding had been beautiful. The whole church had been decorated in lovely colors and there were flowers all over. Soft candlelight had filled the place and all the guests had been thrilled for the couple getting married.
But even more beautiful than the setting was the bride.
Penelope Garcia was the most beautiful woman in the world on a daily basis to Derek Morgan, but she had blown him away that day. Her dress had fit her like a glove, the bodice hugging her luscious curves and accentuating every part of her sensual body. Her lips had been painted a soft, crushed rose red and her eyes were sparkling. She took Derek's breath away, in a literal and figurative sense of the word.
Her whole walk down the aisle she had smiled at her groom, the groom that was not Derek. Kevin Lynch had smiled right back at her.
The moment the priest asked if there was any one in the church who objected to the union of Penelope and Kevin, every fiber of Derek's being wanted to jump to his feet and shout that he indeed objected. She may have told him she loved him back, but the love she held for Kevin, the man who'd asked her to marry him and voiced his feelings for her, was stronger. She would do anything to keep their love strong.
But that wasn't what Penelope wanted. She wanted Kevin. So instead of jumping up and voicing his feelings, Derek remained stone still in his seat, not moving or even looking up at what was going on in front of him. He just stared at the floor, wanting to disappear into the woodwork and let his love for Penelope consume him.
The moment Kevin was told he could kiss his bride, he couldn't stand it any longer and he rose to his feet abruptly and hurried out a side door. He couldn't handle this, not anymore. He just needed a drink. He needed to figure out how he was going to cope with this heartbreak that had just caused his heart to implode in his chest and spread the broken shards through his body.
Hopefully there would be some strong liquor around that he could drown his sorrows in.
XXXXX
As the church began to empty of guests so they could head to the reception, Hotch and Reid were concerned about Derek who had raced from the church before the wedding had even been completely finished.
"Hotch, I'm really worried about Morgan," Reid said softly, sticking his hands into his pockets. "What's he going to do?"
Hotch shook his head. "I have no idea," he said. "Something must have happened between the two of them. She didn't look right when Rossi was getting ready to take her down the aisle. She was on the verge of tears the entire time." He rubbed his forehead. "She doesn't love Lynch. We all know that. She knows that. Why she even went through with this wedding is a mystery to me."
"Me too," Reid said as they began to exit the church along with the sea of others. "I'm so confused by this whole debacle."
They followed the rest of the people out towards the reception hall and kept their eyes open for Derek; he was no where to be found.
"Hey amigos!" JJ said, coming up to them, her bridesmaid dress trailing along behind her. She grinned. "Great wedding, huh?" Both Hotch and Reid fixed her with a Really? look and she rolled her eyes. "Okay fine. It's a sham. She's not happy and Derek's looking goddamned devastated."
Reid shook his head. "If he was anywhere to look at," he muttered. "He disappeared a little while ago. No idea where he went."
"Well, there's an open bar," Rossi said, coming up to join them. "That might explain where he disappeared to."
"Talking about Morgan?" Emily interjected, also coming up to join the rest of her team. A depressed look covered her face. "Yeah. I have no idea where he went, but I'm sure he's getting drunk somewhere."
A dark cloud covered the group and they were silent for a long moment, all of them staring at the floor. They were all feeling extremely sad for their fellow team member. He had never looked more crushed than when Kevin had proposed to Penelope.
"Ladies and gentleman," the DJ began. "Entering the room now are Mr. and Mrs. Lynch!"
The majority of the guests, save for the BAU team, cheered. They wanted to be happy for Penelope, but when they knew that she herself wasn't happy — it was clear based on the lack of sparkle in her eyes and the faux smile covering her face — it was difficult.
Hotch scanned around the room. He knew he wouldn't find Derek anywhere inside, but he had to look for him. He needed to find out what was going on with him, what he was thinking. He needed to make sure he didn't try and get into his car and drive because if he was correct, Derek was likely drunk off his ass already. Looking at the rest of his team, he said, "I'm going to go find Derek. I'm going to make sure he doesn't try and drive anywhere."
Then he took off, not bothering to go and try to congratulate the newly married couple.
XXXXX
Penelope was getting herself a glass of champagne at the bar, taking a moment to be alone and away from the guests. This wedding wasn't right, she could hardly believe she'd gone through with it.
Derek may have been the love of her life, but she was so afraid of him breaking her heart and the guilt that she would break Kevin's heart, that she'd gone with it. Her happiness was going to go down the toilet, but she had to protect her heart.
Her mind began drifting towards the events from the night before.
Penelope rose from the couch when she heard the knock on her door. She frowned. It was ten o'clock at night and she was confused as to why someone would come knocking the night before she was getting married. Everyone knew she was packing up her apartment on her last night in it before she moved into the house she and Kevin had purchased.
Looking through the peephole, her brow furrowed. Standing outside her door, his hands in his leather jacket and looking around nervously.
Unbolting the door, she opened it and blinked several times. "Derek?" she murmured. "What are you doing here?"
"Can I come in?" he asked, his jaw hard.
She nodded and stepped aside, allowing him in. He was looking around at the boxes that were stacked all over the apartment and his face seemed sad. She smiled slightly. "Looks weird, doesn't it?" she asked. "Seeing it all packed up." She set her hands on her hips and grinned at him more widely. "So, you here to help me pack, Hot Stuff?"
He wasn't smiling, however. "I'm not here for that," he said softly. He looked up at him to address her more directly. "I came here to…talk to you about something."
Her face fell and she swallowed with difficulty. He looked so serious. What could he possibly want to talk about that was making him so serious? She studied him carefully. His handsome face was set in an almost unreadable gaze and she could tell there was something going on in his mind that was making him grave. Nodding, she motioned for him to follow her into the living room to sit on the couch. When they were sitting, she took his hand and was shocked when he withdrew it as if she'd burned him. Hurt and taken back, she looked down at her own hands and asked softly, "What's going on? You're acting weird."
Rubbing his face, he shook his head and mumbled, "God, I've never had to do this. How can I say this right?"
"Do what?" she asked, utterly confused.
He finally looked up at her and then, without another word, took her face gently in his hands and pressed his lips on hers. His lips were tender and coaxing, igniting a fire in her that caused her to respond, touching his cheek as she kissed him back. This was perfect. He tasted so wonderful, like he was meant for her. She wanted to devour him all night long. This was a kiss. This was the passion she'd searched for her whole life.
But then she remembered she had a fiancé. What the hell was she doing? No matter how much she loved Derek, she was committed to Kevin. Christ, she was marrying him! Putting her hands on his chest, she pushed him backwards and shook her head.
"No," she whispered. "I can't do this."
"Do you love him?" Derek asked hardly.
Her eyes went wide and she asked, "What?"
"I asked if you love him," he said bluntly. "You just kissed me back. Can you honestly say that you don't love me after that? You kissed me like you loved me."
Tears filled her eyes and she asked, "Why are you coming to me now about this? Why are you telling me on the night before I get married?"
He shook his head. "I can't lose you," he said fiercely. "I know I should have told you sooner, but I was so afraid. But I'm telling you I love you know because if I don't —"
Rising abruptly from her seat, Penelope pointed towards the door and shook her head. She couldn't listen to this. She loved Derek with her whole heart, not Kevin. But she'd watched him hurt so many women in the past, she just couldn't stand to think what would happen if he broke her heart if she left Kevin. She had to distance herself from him immediately before she made a terrible mistake.
"You need to go," she said harshly. "I can't believe you would come and tell me this, tonight of all nights! Get out!"
He too got to his feet and came closer to her, getting up near her face. "You're telling me you don't feel anything for me? Nothing?"
With trembling hands, she pointed at the door again. "Just go," she said, choking past a lump that had built up in her throat. She couldn't lie, but she couldn't say what she wanted to either. "I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you right now."
Cupping her face once more, he said, "Baby Girl, please! Don't marry him!"
"You want me to just leave him?" she cried. "You want me to leave the man who asked me to marry him and share my life with?"
"Penelope, we love each other," he said desperately. "I know you love me! I love you! Let me show you…" And then his lips were on hers again, and her arms wrapped around his neck, his kisses making it impossible for her to deny her passion any longer.
"There's my bride!" Kevin boomed, completely breaking the silent spell she had cast upon herself.
She turned around from the bar and plastered a smile on her face for her new husband. It was time to forget about Derek and all her feelings for him. She had a life ahead of her with Kevin. She'd chosen to remain with him; she would just have to settle in for the life she had chosen to live.
XXXXX
Outside the church, Derek was sitting beneath a tree in the garden, a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels next to him. He was aiming for a drunken stupor, which he'd already gotten to. Maybe he'd be lucky and die of alcohol poisoning.
That would be ideal.
"I thought I might find you around here with a bottle of something," Hotch's voice said, breaking through his drunkenness.
He looked up and smiled crookedly at his unit chief. "Boss!" he slurred. "Come to join da party here? I gots booze!" He held up the bottle proudly.
Hotch sat down next to him and took the bottle from his grasp, yanking it from his hands so that he would quit drinking. Seeing him this way just made him sad. Derek didn't deserve this. He may not have told Penelope of his love soon enough, but he didn't deserve this pain. Hotch had never seen him so low or depressed.
"Do you think she really loves him?" Derek asked. Hotch noticed tears were coursing down his cheeks. "'Cause I know my Baby Girl…she's too good for some pansy like Lynch! I know she loves me. I know she does!"
"I agree," Hotch sympathized. "So what do you plan to do? You gonna be able to talk to her on a daily basis?"
He shook his head and started stumbling through his words. "Nope. I — I'm gonna go to New York. The position still wants me. I'm lea — leaving. I start on Monday leading the whole unit."
Hotch looked at him in shock, but knew better than to try and argue with him. It would do him no good whatsoever. Derek, drunk or not, was sure in his position. And quite frankly he wasn't going to put him through pain. As far as he was concerned, he was going to support his friend. Penelope would be devastated, but Derek was a mess and if he stayed in Quantico, he would just deteriorate even more.
Plus, leaving could help him get over Penelope.
Clapping Derek on the shoulder, Hotch said, "I've got your back on this, Morgan. I'll even drive you to the airport."
Derek looked at him with glazed over eyes. "Th - thanks, man," he slurred clumsily. "I app—appreciate it."
Then he slumped forward to the ground, unconscious from both alcohol and grief.