He has his share of problems. Who doesn't? He is a good father though. I know that no matter what anybody says, he is a good father. I remember things, I know things. Things my parents don't realize that I know. I remember when I was younger mom would get mad and yell about missed child support. I remember when I was six and we had to walk home because the bad men took his car. I remember that mom would say that he was a bad father (she didn't know that I was there). I also remember that mom had some problems. After uncle Bobby died, mom got sick (at least that's how dad put it). That's when dad started taking care of me more. I know that he challenged her parental rights, that he tried to keep her away from me. If he had kept me away from my mother, I don't know if I could have ever forgiven him. I do know however, that he was at least trying to act in what he believed were my best interests. I also remember the slightly rocky, somewhat dysfunctional relationship of my parents. They got divorced when I was still really young. Dad still came around though. They both said it was for me, but I knew that stuff happened between them. I remember Brooke too. Mom was jealous of her. She never admitted it, but I know that she still loved dad. I remember when I was eight and one of the firemen died. Dad came over at about two o'clock in the morning. My parents didn't know that I was up, watching them. I didn't mean to spy. Dad's knocking woke me up. When I came out to check I saw dad and he didn't look right. I had to stick around and see what was going on. My dad was in tears. I heard him tell my mom how sorry he was. He said how he tried to save him. He told her it broke his heart to tell his wife and children that he wasn't coming home. My mom held him as he cried until they both fell asleep. He stayed over for a couple of days before I started to understand. I saw my dad in my mom's room. He was wearing what he called his "dress blue's'. My mom was tying his tie and I heard her speak. "I always think you look so handsome dressed like this, then I remember why you're wearing them." That was when I understood. I had seen my dad dressed that way a few times in my life. The most memorable was after uncle Bobby died. I had learned that if my parents wore those fancy uniforms it meant that somebody had died. I know that it hurt mom and dad when uncle Bobby died. I know too that it hurt them when Alex died. I think in a way though, it made them stronger. When Alex died, dad was worried about mom. He remembered how bad she got after uncle Bobby died. He was afraid that she would start having problems again. He started hanging around more. Again, he said it was for me, but I knew that he wanted to keep an eye on mom. He wanted to protect her. She knew, but she didn't feel like he didn't trust her. She somehow knew that he was just there because he cared. After that, they got closer. They didn't think that I knew, but I did. One day though, it all shattered. Dad came over one day and told mom that he had been transferred. He was going to be in charge of another house. Mom was happy. A couple days later though, she came home in tears. I overheard her tell grandma that dad had almost died in a fire that he willingly walked into. She said that it scared her and she couldn't do it anymore. Even at ten I didn't really understand. I did however understand when dad stopped coming around. Mom and I both got sad after that. I didn't think that they would ever get back together. Then one-day mom and dad shocked me by turning my entire life upside down. They came home and told me we all needed to talk. They told me that mom was no longer going to be a paramedic. The bigger news though, was that they were getting married, again and that mom was going to have another baby. I was shocked. I didn't really know what was going on, but I knew that I was happy. After that everything got better. Dad still went to work, but they didn't fight anymore. Their wedding wasn't grand. It wasn't anything big, but it was great. Dad wanted to give mom a big, beautiful wedding. The wedding he said she deserved. The only problem was that he couldn't afford it. Mom didn't care. She said all that mattered was that we would finally be a family. So, dad put me in a tux (monkey suit as I call it) and we all went down to the Justice of the Peace. Mom was beautiful and I don't think that I had ever seen her happier. The happiest I saw my dad came, however, five months later. That was the day my baby sister was born. Dad was so proud to have a little girl. Alexis Bobbie Doherty, Allie for short. Though she's named after Alex and uncle Bobby, mom doesn't want to call her Alex. She says it's too hard. My beautiful little sister. I love her so much. She has helped our family so much, in ways she doesn't even know. She's only six and she already wants to be a firemen. That thought scares both our parents to death. They know all too well the horrors, the pain that the job can bring. Alex was a great woman. Smart, strong, independent. They both say that they want Allie to be just like her namesakes. Alex and uncle Bobby are both great role models. The thought though, that Allie could die, I know that it gives them both nightmares. People think it's sexist, I know different though. Dad believes in female firemen, he loved Alex. My entire life dad has talked about me joining FDNY. He has started to think different lately though. Dad just wants to keep his children safe. I know that more than anything. I still want to join the FDNY though. It's all that I've wanted since I was six. It's who my dad is; it's who I am. FDNY is the family legacy. Death, birth, marriage and divorce. Fights, custody and child support. Most of all family. It's who we are. My family has been through a lot but through it all, we survived. Through it all, my dad stayed strong. I know that we couldn't have survived if it wasn't for his strength. So here I am, eighteen years old, watching my dad retire. He said that it's finally time. I know how much he loves the job, but he has been at it twenty years. I believe he's ready. Uncle Billy, he's the new chief, he asked me to make a speech in honor of my dad. I agreed, but I'm nervous. I don't really know what to say. It's not like there's nothing to say. In fact, I think the problem is that there's too much to say. I don't really know where to begin. Suddenly I feel a tugging on my pant leg. I look down into the big blue eyes of my beautiful baby sister. She smiles at me so I pick her up and she speaks.
"Joey, uncle Billy says to tell you that it's time for your speech. He also says not to be nervous. You're going to be just fine."
My uncle Derek, or D.K., comes and takes Allie and I head up to the stage. As I look out at my dad I realize that somewhere in me I do know what to say. All I have to do is speak from my heart.
"Everybody defines a hero differently. Everybody has a hero. My hero is Jimmy Doherty. Throughout my life, I've heard different people refer to my dad as a hero. These people think that he's a hero because he's a fireman, and they're right. He's a hero for other reasons too though. To my mom, my sister and to me he's a hero simply because he's him."