A/n: Oh god, okay. I wrote this a lonnngggg time ago. But when I went back and looked at it, I almost died. It's amazing how so little time can change your writing so much. I actually wrote this the first time at THREE A.M., and I didn't really go over it, I was just so excited I posted it. But I re-wrote it, and I'm now re-uploading it. So if you're reading this, and you read my old one, let me know how it is, and if I've made any mistakes. Please? –Grins-
If you're reading it for the first time don't worry about it! But you could maybe review anyway… -looks at you and pokes my bottom lip out-
~Nothing But A Chalk Outline~
"Fuck… So Tight…" The back of Naruto's thighs hitting my ass was obscenely loud, and I could only writhe in pleasure as he held me down to assault my prostate at a quick pace.
"Na-ruto…" I moaned quietly, toes curling at the heat pooling rapidly in my lower belly, a sure sign that I was about to cum.
"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, throwing his head back as let go, filling my insides with a warmness I couldn't quite feel though I took comfort in knowing it was there. We rocked together and I was finishing right after him, shouting just as loud.
He pulled out abruptly once he'd come back down from his high, and I winced at the suddenly movement. "Sasuke." He drawled monotonously, looking out the window as if acknowledging me and ignoring me all at once.
"Hn." I never have been one for words, I felt things were conveyed better by actions, so I had no need for them. I sat up slowly, looking at his profile. I watched him breathe smoke out his nose, and it curled lazily around his face before dissipating.
He turned to look at me, in my eyes, and I immediately dreaded his next words.
"We should end this, I can't do it anymore. You're too cold." The words vaguely registered as I watched his full lips move to form them, but honestly I was just trying to pretend this wasn't happening. And most definitely not after I'd let him have me, completely, like no one else had.
A dull ache settled in my chest, spiking every few seconds. I debated over the likelihood of having an honest to god heart attack over him dumping me, and I chuckled bitterly in my own head. I came back from my weary and somewhat morbid thoughts when I realized his lips, his perfect lips were still moving.
"- only needed your money. Now I'm debt free. This is pointless." I grimaced and regretted deciding to listen immediately, but it was too late. He looked away again, and it hurt to recognize the distance in his eyes. I didn't want to see this, didn't want this to happen. Where was my Dobe? The carefree, loud, energetic, loving boy I fell for?
I couldn't see any of that in his eyes now.
I stayed silent, getting up slowly, and grabbing my boxers off the floor. I pulled them on slowly, contemplating if letting him see me cry was worth it. Was he even worth my tears now?
No.
He used me- for money- and openly admitted it after I let him top me. I'd never been topped before, I'd trusted him with that.
I reached for the door knob, my pale and graceful hand resting on the cool golden metal. I gripped it tightly, and turned to him with a sharp insult on my tongue, but the venom died when I saw his eyes, dead and fixed on me like I was an inconvienience. So I kept my head, and I was shocked at the words that tumbled out.
"You'll be sorry, baby, someday. When you reach across the bed, where I used to lay."
I turned swung back around on my heel, opening the door and closing it softly behind me as I left. The air was chilly, and a breeze was blowing. But I felt like my insides, particularly my heart had frozen over by the icicle he'd lodge in my heart with his words.
'He thinks I'm cold?' I thought morosely, smiling bitterly at the grey skies. 'He must be a popsicle by now then.'
I didn't cry in front anyone except my brother, and no one knew I'd even been dumped except him.
XxXxX
'It's been almost half a year.' Was what floated through my head as I glanced at my scheduling calendar.
I hadn't even thought of him, I couldn't really. The hurtful words and blank expression were all I'd been left with, and I didn't want that memory of him. I only wanted the goofy boy who'd thrown me in the fountain outside our college when I'd stuck my tongue out at him playfully, who'd kissed me silly in my office to 'de-stressatize' me as he had so delicately put it. I wanted to believe that was real, and the bad him wasn't.
But it was past time I put everything behind me, I knew, and I would go face it. Itachi had told me to 'go put on your big girl panties and face it like a woman.' For which I'd shoved him off my couch and thrown the remote at him.
I grabbed my keys as I stood from my desk and without changing into normal clothes I made my way out of the building. I hit the unlock button and smiled faintly as the motor hummed to life as well. I swung the door open and slid in fluidly hitting the gas pedal and pulling out of my parking spot before the door had even shut. The drive to the downtown area passed quickly, and I found myself staring up at the place I used to stay whenever I could in less than fifteen minutes.
I cut the engine and stared up at the dingy building with a somber expression. I opened my car door and breathed in the warm air. It was heavy with moisture, and I felt slightly suffocated. But that was probably the déjà vu. Sitting in this place, where I had parked my car before, and staring at the building that probably stilled housed the first person to truly break my heart was probably enough to make anyone feel trapped.
I clambered out of my car, shaking so hard it had ruined my graceful image. I closed the door and leaned against it lightly, crossing my arms. I sighed and looked around. The sky was a brilliant sapphire blue, darkening the further the sun crept down on the horizon. I closed my eyes to the color and let memories drag me down.
I pictured his warm smiling face as he turned to me after I'd thrown my first 'tantrum' as he called it. I heard his gasping laughter the one time I'd dropped a massive water ballon that was full of kool-aid rather than water. I snorted once and let the image of his complete shocked face. That ballon had covered us both in the sticky substance, and had led to very intense make-out session in the middle of the red puddle.
-"Sasuke, did you really just drop that?" His deep voice asked in shocked amusement. I smiled sheepishly and nodded my head. His face melted into a grin and then he was laughing. I scowled and crossed my arms over my chest.
"It really isn't that funny, dobe." I told him dryly. His head snapped up and his arm shot out to wrap around my waist and drag me down to him. He grinned winningly and I immediately smiled back to my displeasure.
"I love you, you big doofus." He told me, and his eyes were shining with true affection. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine warmly, and I slipped my arms around him with a sigh of bliss.
He proceeded to push me down and make a hot mess of us both.-
I was pulled out of my memories by a small sprinkle of rain falling over my face lightly. My heart thumped painfully, as it had many times this past few months, and I finally looked back at the building.
'He's really not here anymore.' The thought floated through my mind, and I wanted to cry suddenly. I huffed one last time before stepping away from my car and squatting, letting my elbows rest on my knees limply.
-I slammed the door to the house open, throwing my car keys on the table against the wall. I bit my lip to hold down a sob and hung my jacket on the rack hurriedly. I just wanted to get to my room and cry. I only got two quick steps in before a hand grabbed my arm and I jerked to a stop. My heart beat loudly and painfully in my chest and I turned slowly to face the person grasping my arm.
"Little brother, what happened?" A soft voice asked, and I flung myself at my brother, burying my face in his chest as I let a sob free. He sighed sadly and pulled me towards his room, sitting us both onto the bed as he held me close.
"He-he… he told me he just wanted m-my money! He t-told me to go!" I clutched at his soft shirt and sobbed hysterically. A comforting hand rubbed slow circles into my back, and I calmed slightly.
His voice echoed strongly in my mind, but the words didn't feel right then.
'He didn't... No. He doesn't deserve you then.'-
I smiled bitterly at the memory, but it softened slowly. My brother had been right, I'd just been a royal mess and unable to see it. Anyone who treated someone like that didn't deserve that person, and my case was no exception.
'He's like…' I stopped my thought, not sure what I could compare him to.
"A Chalk Outline." I murmered out loud, smiling brightly even though my eyes were burning with unshed tears. The bottom finally fell out of the clouds and a weight lifted from my chest. It was like the rain was washing away all the anguish I'd felt for so long. There was no nagging pain or underlying sadness anymore, I was free to be happy now, to fall in love again. This time I would be sure they deserved me. I would make them as happy as they made me, and it would go slow this time. I'd cherish them.
He was as good as dead to me now. 'Yeah!' I thought giddily, turning on my hell to face my car. I pulled the door open and hit the button to turned the motor on. I was about to get in when a door slammed and loud sobbing was heard over the rain.
I stopped, looking towards the noise and squinting to see whoever was making the soud painful sobs.
XxXxX
I sighed in annoyance, turning my head to look at the empty side of the bed that my boyfriend had been lying on. 'Ex-boyfriend.' My brain supplied quickly to my distain. The door slammed as the boy exited my apartment, cutting off the quiet sniffling for a moment, before I heard a sob. They tapered off into silence as he got further away, and I screwed my face up unhappily.
My recent boyfriend, Deidara, had just stormed out when I told him I couldn't love him. He was crying silently and had asked me why. I didn't have an answer, and he had jumped away from me like it burned to be near me. I couldn't blame him, he had just confessed to me, and I'd bluntly made an ass of myself.
'He didn't even cry… Didn't even look upset.' I told myself sourly, remembering when Sasuke had left my room the night I'd had sex with him. The night he'd given him self to me for the first time.
I ran my hand over the pillow and down the comforter, it looked desolate now, empty. As if proving a point to me it had already cooled down like no one had been there, even though a warm body had just left the spot.
"You'll be sorry, baby, someday. When you reach across the bed, where my body used to lay." His voice cut into my mind, only a memory, but I could hear it like he was standing there again, telling me how I'd be feeling later. It pissed me off faintly how right he had been. I did miss him horrendously, and I was sorry I hadn't realized what I'd had when I still had it.
I could see his face as he said those words, blank, cut-off. His lips barely moving as he uttered them, cutting into my heart, burying themselves deeply.
It hadn't hurt until later. Much later.
"Sasuke…" I whispered it reverently, like a prayer. I couldn't forget him. I had honestly thought I had no feelings for the younger Uchiha. How wrong I was.
I imagined him smiling warmly up at me that first time, and how I'd nearly cackled madly when I noticed. I remembered his eyes tearing up and brimming with love the first time I'd told him I'd missed him. Then his soft laugh that only graced my ears because he hated showing emotion in front of people. I felt his fingers running through my hair softly, and I knew it was all in my head, because I'd fucked him over, both literally and physically. I laughed bitterly to myself.
My eyes started burning and my chest tightened painfully. I closed my eyes, fiercely willing the tears away just as I had so many times since that night. Our last night together.
It failed miserably and not for the first time I couldn't stop the relentless sobs that shook my entire being. 'He won't ever be there for me again.' I thought dejectedly, pulling myself together a little bit.
'All that remains is of him is a…'
"Chalk Outline…" I sobbed anew, regret and hurt flooding through my mind. I distantly heard a car crank, it was probably one of my neighbors going to the store or work. A few seconds later a I recognized the rain beating on my roof, brought to my attention by a rather loud crack of thunder.
I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow Sasuke used to favor.
XxXxX
Thunder rolled quietly, obviously not that close to my location. I slid completely in the car, lookin up from the steering wheel to the sky and brushing my damp bangs from my eyes. Then it started raining harder, sheets crashing down and straight through my open car door. It soaked my left side and the side of my leather seat. I cursed mutely when a new wave hit my face, washing away the old tears and giving cover for the new ones. It was oldly fitting, like even the weather agreed that I should pick up and move on.
I looked back down, now seeing the person who had slammed the door. He was walking quickly down the side walk next to my car, only a couple of feet away now.
"Um… Are you okay?" I got half way out of my car, putting my elbow on the roof to hold myself up. My eyes widened as he looked up at me, meeting my gaze with baby blue eyes as he tried stifle his sobs behind his hand in shock. I had no idea how he hadn't notice my car, or me. But it was okay, I could understand the obliviousness at a time like this.
The rain rapidly soaked as us we just stared at each other, neither blinking. He was shaking from the cold rain, or maybe it was purely emotional, since it wasn't really all that cold out. I don't know if he noticed or not, but tears were still rolling down my face, I couldn't stop them. I always hated crying because stray tears would roll out of my eyes for a long time afterwards.
Ever so slowly his hand lowered, and his full lips that had been frowning stretched into an exhausted smile.
"Bad break up." He voiced strongly, his voice sounded so obviously hurt anyway and it reminded me of how I'd felt when Naruto dumped me. But this man… He wasn't afraid to show his pain, and I admired that.
I smiled warmly back at him and the tears were beginning to slow down.
His shaking was also starting to subside, and he was no longer a sobbing mess. He had probably pulled himself together during our staring match. His smiled brightened and I could tell he had momentarily forgotten the pain. I wanted to make him smiled like that again, because of me. My mind scoffed, telling me I didn't even know him, but I ignored it in favor of listening to my heart. It told me I should take a chance.
"So… Would you like to maybe go get some coffee? I'll gladly listen." I told him slowly, smiling lightly again and pointing to my passenger side door.
"Yes… Yes, that would be nice… Thank you." He smiled and I got in my car, motioning him to go ahead and climb in.
He laughed lightly and moved to the door, getting in quickly and buckling up. I looked over at him and realized his hair was even longer than Itachi's, but it was blonde instead of black.
"So… What's your name exactly? This is a really… expensive looking car." He paused in thought before looking at me and taking me in fully. "Holy… Is that Armani?" His eyes widened comically and I couldn't help but chuckle at his common reaction. I pulled into the road and made for town.
"Sasuke Uchiha." I told him, amusement clear in my voice. He gasped when my name registered and I continued. "And yes… It is." I looked into his eyes, smiling, and then I looked back at the road.
"Oh..." He just stared at me for a moment before laughing. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Sasuke. But money doesn't mean a whole lot to me, so don't worry." The he turned forward in his seat, pulling at his hair to get some tangles out. I smiled inwardly. I knew exactly what he meant.
"Starbucks?" I voiced, and he laughed and nodded. I raised and eyebrow and glanced out him from the corner of my eye.
"Perfect!" he cried joyfully, just like a kid. He even clapped and bounced in his seat. I chuckled at him.
Yeah, everything was going to be okay after all.
I decided that I rather loved rain now.
