A/N: So. I... wow. That episode? God damn. Jesus fuck.

Anyway, this story does contain major spoilers for 6.08, like Red John's identity but also other things. So if you want to stay spoiler-free in case you haven't seen it yet, don't read, STOP RIGHT NOW.

Thanks to the amazing Elliot (aka mentalist-with-a-gun on Tumblr) for helping me write this story! Love you, dear!

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine! Sadly. If this show was mine, Bertram would have been RJ.

'I'm okay'

He stood up.

Strangely, the weight on his shoulders didn't leave. He expected it to just die with his nemesis. But it didn't. Sure, he felt relieved that the man who had brutally ended his wife and daughter's lives had now joined their fates, but instead of freed or happy, he just felt a big hole in his heart. A hole Red John used to fill.
He was a bit dizzy when he tried to think about what to do next. That's when he spotted McAllister's phone on the floor next to him, and he hesitated when reaching for it. But eventually, he typed in that all-so-familiar number, the number he had worked so hard on to remember, give it a nice little place in his memory palace, just in case he might need it. (And he had needed it a lot these past few days. He had used too many unfamiliar phones.)

It rang once, and another time, and his heart was beating in his chest. He knew what he had to do now, he had to get away from here but he couldn't yet, not without knowing that this hole he was feeling now was going to be filled when he was ready for it.

"Jane?" He heard her beautiful voice as though it were angels singing to him, and he almost sank to his knees.

"Lisbon," he breathed, but regained his composure within seconds. Adrenaline was still coursing through his veins. "It's over. It's done."

He didn't hear her reply, and he wanted it now, so badly. Wanted to hear her voice, telling him it would be okay. That what he did wasn't stupid and that he had done well.

"I wanted to let you know that I'm okay," he whispered. He heard a soft intake of breath at the other end.

"Jane, I… I can't talk freely," he heard her whisper back. "Abbot's men are here."

He closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to do that, Jane. Are you… are you going to be alright?"

"No."

They were silent for a while and Jane took the time to look down at the corpse which was lying at his feet.

And then he heard her whisper again, yet this time, he heard the love in her voice, could feel it filling his body. "Go, Jane."

He was confused for a few seconds, even though he knew what she was implying.

"Leave. Do what you have to do," she whispered, her voice gentle and soothing.

"I'm gonna miss you," he replied.

"I know. Go."

He wanted to tell her so many things, wanted to promise her the world but he knew it would just be empty promises now. Only later, when he had found real peace with Red John's death, would he be able to make her happy the way he would want someone else to do.

Yet there was something he could tell her.

"I… I love you."

"I love you too, Patrick. Now go."

And while tears were burning in his eyes, he hung up and threw the phone away. And then he ran, away from the body of the serial killer who had haunted him for over a decade – and away from the only woman he had loved since his life had crumbled down.

A/N: So, let me know what you thought of this! It's greatly appreciated!