DISCLAIMER: I wish i did own the lot of them but Skins characters belong to the wizards of E4. This is a short sort of alternative scene in episode nine after Katie has told Naomi in the cafe about Emily sleeping with JJ. JJ happens to wander in while she's still sat there trying to work out what she wants. Reviews appreciated!
WORKING THINGS OUT
By HeligenaGirl
Seems like she could help it when she was fucking JJ.
Katie's cold words echoed around her head, dropping into the cold cup of coffee on the table in front of her. It couldn't be true but when she forced herself to consider it, she knew it was. Her Emily, running her hands over his body and letting him touch her. Feel her soft skin.
"Hi Naomi..."
She heard a voice to her left and saw with a rush of anger that JJ had somehow wandered in to the cafe and was standing there, awkward and expectant. Hair all over the place, his jeans scuffed at the bottoms.
Christ.
"JJ, this isn't a good time all right."
"Right, must be the month for it...wall to wall bad times." Before she could argue, he'd sat down opposite her. She couldn't help looking at his wide blue eyes. She'd never noticed before, how much they reminded her of her own. Had Em noticed that?
Naomi frowned, trying to contain herself, "JJ, seriously, I really can't..."
"Cook says when people don't want to hear what you have to say, you need to kick them right in the ballsacks and get their attention..." He froze as she glared at him, "not that you have...you know...you don't do you?...," he noticed her expression, " no you're all about the eggs and fallopian tubes..."
Naomi felt her hand on the table clenching.
"...It's a metaphorical...thing."
"It better be," she growled, "because if you touch me, I'll cock punch you where you stand."
"Right. Gonad warfare got it." He picked up her spoon then and bean drawing circles on the plastic tablecloth, nervously.
"Is there a point to this interlude?"
He pointed at the white mug, "I like coffee, it's made from beans. Is it a drink or a foodstuff. No-one knows..."
She sighed, "JJ..."
"What I mean is, things aren't always what they seem. You're smart, everyone knows that. Cook's a walking erection, I'm a freak but you... you're also an idiot."
"Excuse me!" Her mouth dropped open.
JJ held her gaze just for a moment, something he rarely did with anyone. "Emily loves you, with, like, every possible part of her."
"Funny way of showing it." She mumbled stubbornly.
"She shows it all the time. She takes care of people, makes them feel..." he grasped for words, "normal and she never asks for anything."
The feeling of Emily's hand, caught inside the blue sleeve of the sweater prickled at her neck. Holding her steady when they kissed in the woods, keeping the ground level around them. Touching her like no-one else.
"J, you don't understand," she said tiredly.
He smiled. "Maybe. I mean, there's a lot I don't. Stock options for one. But...when I stand at people's doors, they look at me as if they're not sure why I'm there and then they invariably ruffle my hair which is fucking irritating." He was on a roll. "They don't know what to do with me. But when you open it, she's standing there, wanting you. Every time."
She could have sworn she heard a note of jealousy in there but she brushed the thought away.
He lapsed into silence and some of her anger seeped away in the warm afternoon air.
JJ shrugged. "Do you know how lucky that makes you? The odds of it, if you calculate population mass by percentage of attraction, and the average level of confidence..."
Naomi had stopped listening. She had the sudden urge to take a sip of her drink just to deflect her brain but it would be cold and bitter by now. And there was JJ, sitting there in his cream cardigan opposite and he meant everything he was saying. Her head swirled.
"And was she standing there wanting me when you had sex with her?"
He hesitated and a blush spread over his face. "I...that is, we didn't..." She stared at him.
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
JJ hung his head. "She didn't know she was even doing it but when we were..." He censored wherever that sentence was heading. "...She was still sitting on your doorstep. She was just being kind." She could see his embarrassment as he said it and it chastened her. It must have taken a lot for him to admit it, there, in a public place. Not many guys would.
Shit. This wasn't how today was supposed to go.
"She didn't betray you Naomi. Not really. I did." He said quietly and she couldn't help it, she reached out her hand and covered his. She wasn't sure what she could say so she sat there for a moment, waiting for her brain to come up with something appropriate.
JJ broke first. "You, you don't...you get up on tables in the canteen and debate politics in front of everyone." He pinned her down with another look.
"They laughed at me, JJ." Blinking Naomi, feeling the humiliation from that day creep over her skin.
"But they heard you."
He took his hand and put it in his pocket, "Some of us, Emily, she spends her life hiding. At the centre, they tell us we shouldn't talk about, our...stuff. Issues. She goes home and goes to bed, gets up in Katie's shadow. There's no break."
Naomi wanted so desperately to block his voice out, all the things he was saying but it wormed its way behind her eyes. Emily, spreading her arms and legs out in Naomi's bed just to savour the feeling of space . Freedom to move your own body, away from prying eyes. And sleeping, her face buried under a tangle of her own arms. Hidden, though she had no idea she was doing it. Her red hair peeping out underneath.
"She has pretty hair, nice to touch."
Naomi stared at him, surprised that he could tell what she was thinking. Maybe it was just coincidence but somehow she doubted it.
"And her eyes, they're..."
"Beautiful," she whispered, finishing his sentence.
If he minded, he didn't say. He just nodded and smiled.
"When she's around I don't get locked on so much. She's sort of, all you can focus on."
Suddenly he pushed his chair back. "Anyway, I'd better get going, I have to get a man suit with Freddy for tonight and the appropriate length of the tie is a very complex matter."
Naomi found herself a little shy at that, an unusual feeling she didn't really like and was even more shocked when he came over and gave her a quick hug.
"See you later."
With that he was gone and it was just her and the cup of coffee. The two of them and all the memories of Emily trickling through. Standing by a lake, looking down at their reflections. Emily sleeping next to her, smiling a little in her sleep.
Naomi grabbed her bag and ran out of the cafe.
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She knew where she'd find her. The cycle ride felt different when it was just her and the urgency in her muscles drove the pedals round dangerously fast. She almost lost it on two bends and had to slow down, steady herself.
Dismounting at the stile, she walked along the bank and then gingerly made her way down to the thicket in the woods, ignoring the dirt on her skirt. From above it seemed as if she'd made a huge mistake, that there was no-one there but then she saw a green bag propped up against the trunk of a tree. And a pair of sneakers sticking out behind it.
She walked over, nerves washing over her and stood looking at Emily's beautiful, emotional face as she sat there unaware of her.
"Hi."
Suave, Naomi.
"Naomi?!" Emily looked shocked to see her and then turned her face away, to hide the streak marks from her mascara. "What are you doing here?"
"I figured you might be here." Said Naomi quietly. She knelt down on the edge of Emily's tartan rug. "I..."
"I know she told you. She took particular pleasure in describing the look on your face," said Emily miserably, wiping her cheek with the back of her wrist. "You can say whatever you came to say, I deserve it."
"You do," Naomi replied cryptically. "You deserve everything."
A little confused, disconcerted Emily looked at her, her red fringe brushed messily away from her eyes. "What do you..."
"I had an interesting conversation with JJ..."
Emily stared down at her feet. "Do you think I'm disgusting?" She said it so quietly, Naomi almost didn't catch it but it lingered in the buzzing air. "Katie...she..."
"I don't think you could be disgusting, if you wanted to."
Taking Emily's right hand in hers, she slipped her fingers between the other girls and gave them a little squeeze. There was a moment and then she felt Emily squeeze back, just a little.
"She said I just pretend to love people to get attention."
Naomi smiled softly, "Katie wouldn't know love if she tripped and accidentally had intercourse with it."
Emily giggled at that. But then she looked up at the blonde girl with the clear eyes sadly. "...Once I couldn't work out how to switch the hob on after primary school so I ate a whole tin of Sheba on toast."
"Urgh." Naomi's nose wrinkled up.
"That is fairly gross but...despite that, you're still beautiful."
"Shut up." Emily smiled for a moment but then her face fell again and she grabbed Naomi's other wrist in her own. "I'm so sorry, it wasn't what you think..."
"Em." Naomi composed her breathing with a lot of effort and extricated her hand from the twin's. "I have to ask something..." She swallowed. "When you were doing it..."
Emily flinched at that but nodded at her to continue.
"...were you thinking about me?"
Silence floated in to the wood and Naomi felt her chest tighten until Emily looked over at her and nodded despondently.
"And it didn't...make you doubt..." She wasn't sure how to finish the sentence but before she could try, Emily had shaken her head emphatically.
"Not once," she said in a whisper. "He just needed someone to see him, as a guy...and I..."
Naomi bit her lip, "needed someone to be there when you woke up."
Emily was surprised but she nodded warily. And said, "I really am..."
The words were barely out when Naomi leaned over and kissed her. Softly at first and then deeper, desperately, overpoweringly to explain that she forgave her without actually saying the words. Pushing her back against the trunk of the elm, she cupped Emily's face and kissed the corners of her mouth. Her nose, the mark by her right eye. Making brief eye contact, she smiled mischievously and kissed her again properly, all thoughts silenced when Emily pushed against her, running her hands through blonde hair.
We're here, we're queer, get used to it," was the last thought to break through before they collapsed to the ground, Naomi's skin singing where Emily's top rode up. She pressed her lips on Emily's soft ones and whispered, "So what's in the bag, Ems? It's not oils is it?"
Emily smiled and Naomi felt the muscles move against her face.
"Nope just some WKD's."
Naomi grinned. "Shame."