Dislcaimer: I do not own anything which refers to LOTR, nor do I won Elmo
or the Rubber Ducky and the Chopsticks of doom. Those belong to my friend
for whom I wrote this fic.
Legolas and the Transvestite
The air of Mirkwood was still. Something was coming.
IT had been 20 years since the incident of the Ring and since then the most powerful symbol of leadership had become a mysterious rubber ducky given as a present to Lord Elrond from the new leader of New Moria, Lord Elmo.
Today a meeting had been planned to discuss who should have the time share plan to watch after the duck while Lord Elrond was off at Boca Rotan. Aragorn, King of Gondor, Gimli, the roaming mushroom and moss licker, as well as Lord Elmo himself would be present, and Legolas had to hurry to make it on time.
As he arrived at the counsel meeting area he found that he was the only one present so he sat down and began to do his hair. "NO!" cried Legolas, "Split ends!" He obsessively pulled out a knife and began hacking away at his hair trying to get rid of the blasted split ends as the rest of the counsel members began to arrive. Gimli walked in first with a bag of mushrooms hanging over his shoulder and his eye began to twitch. They were wide and blood shot and he had dyed his beard green. Lord Elmo arrived next, short and red, as well as attractively fuzzy, as Gimli was eyeing him from the seat across from him. Slowly, he moved a chair over at a time and gave Lord Elmo the "how YOU doing?" nod. Elmo's eyes merely stared at him demonically as he twirled the chopsticks of doom in his hands.
Lord Elrond entered, followed by the rest of the members, and they were seated, though Aragorn was strangely absent.
"Friends, and Gimli, we are here to decide who shall watch over the powerful duck while I am in Boca Rotan."
"OOO! OOO!" squealed Elmo, "I will take the duck, Lord Elrond." He stared at the duck, licking his lips.
Just then, a woman walked into the meeting and said, "I will take the duck."
Lord Elrond raised an FBI agent's eyebrow and said "OK" and presented the woman with the duck, put on his burmuda shorts and left.
Elmo left the room, pouting, with Gimli following close behind. As soon as they were out of the room, Gimli took a mushroom from his sack and stuffed it in Elmo's mouth, slung Elmo over his shoulder and ran off into the woods, laughing maniacally.
Now, Legolas, finished cutting his split ends, walked up to this mysterious woman and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and Legolas gasped in shock... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas and the Transvestite
The air of Mirkwood was still. Something was coming.
IT had been 20 years since the incident of the Ring and since then the most powerful symbol of leadership had become a mysterious rubber ducky given as a present to Lord Elrond from the new leader of New Moria, Lord Elmo.
Today a meeting had been planned to discuss who should have the time share plan to watch after the duck while Lord Elrond was off at Boca Rotan. Aragorn, King of Gondor, Gimli, the roaming mushroom and moss licker, as well as Lord Elmo himself would be present, and Legolas had to hurry to make it on time.
As he arrived at the counsel meeting area he found that he was the only one present so he sat down and began to do his hair. "NO!" cried Legolas, "Split ends!" He obsessively pulled out a knife and began hacking away at his hair trying to get rid of the blasted split ends as the rest of the counsel members began to arrive. Gimli walked in first with a bag of mushrooms hanging over his shoulder and his eye began to twitch. They were wide and blood shot and he had dyed his beard green. Lord Elmo arrived next, short and red, as well as attractively fuzzy, as Gimli was eyeing him from the seat across from him. Slowly, he moved a chair over at a time and gave Lord Elmo the "how YOU doing?" nod. Elmo's eyes merely stared at him demonically as he twirled the chopsticks of doom in his hands.
Lord Elrond entered, followed by the rest of the members, and they were seated, though Aragorn was strangely absent.
"Friends, and Gimli, we are here to decide who shall watch over the powerful duck while I am in Boca Rotan."
"OOO! OOO!" squealed Elmo, "I will take the duck, Lord Elrond." He stared at the duck, licking his lips.
Just then, a woman walked into the meeting and said, "I will take the duck."
Lord Elrond raised an FBI agent's eyebrow and said "OK" and presented the woman with the duck, put on his burmuda shorts and left.
Elmo left the room, pouting, with Gimli following close behind. As soon as they were out of the room, Gimli took a mushroom from his sack and stuffed it in Elmo's mouth, slung Elmo over his shoulder and ran off into the woods, laughing maniacally.
Now, Legolas, finished cutting his split ends, walked up to this mysterious woman and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and Legolas gasped in shock... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~