"I have this area covered, alright? Go and clean up with the others."
Tanaka-sensei's voice reverberated with his usual baritone, as melting and calming as always, even with a stern, neutral tone of a teacher.
I could listen to you talk all day.
No, no, Murao Shuuko! Remember why you're here!
"There are lots of people there already… so I'll help here."
Her nervousness by now had begun to shake up her voice, and her emotions were threatening to spill out, but she hoped that she had still maintained her usual stoical appearance.
Tanaka-sensei now turned to face her directly.
"Murao. Try to get along with people."
You don't understand…
"Until you've seriously tried to make a place for yourself, you can't say that you're fine alone."
I don't want to be with them, I want to be with you…
"I'm seriously trying right now."
Murao never intended to confess so quickly, but she still found herself unwavering, her hand lightly pulling on Tanaka-sensei's shirt by its own accord.
"Murao. I'm a teacher. I'll never treat you as anything… but a student."
His tone was softer and more affectionate than she had expected, but it still had the same impact on her.
She had always known this fact, but hearing it directly from him… it was unbearable.
"Teacher, and student. That's all we're ever be."
She tightened her grip as if holding on for dear life, perhaps under the impression that grabbing onto the thin piece of cloth would save her. She didn't know why herself.
"Murao. Go join your group."
The voice was now stern and cold. She felt her blood begin to run cold, her vision blur, and an unrelenting feeling of nausea overtake her.
Unable to bear any more, she suddenly let go of his shirt, and ran. Ran as fast as she could. She knew she would never be able to run from the situation, never run from the fact that Tanaka-sensei didn't reciprocate her feelings. Yet she still ran.
Tanaka finally allowed himself a breath. With a wheeze, he leaned limp against the window he was washing.
"I love you. Please stay."
But then what?
Tanaka laughed bitterly, looking up towards the sky in utter mental exhaustion.
That was too close.