Purple Greed
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.
Summary: "I'm aware that this is rather drastic," Koenma said, carefully looking over her reaction, "but you know I have no choice. I hope you don't mind." Botan opened her mouth, but found no voice to protest. Staying under one roof with her former lover? No, why would she?
"Here," A hand handed her a can of soda, "I assume you need this?"
Botan blinked as she looked up from the book she was reading. She'd expected to be alone in the quite library, and hadn't anticipated another presence in the room aside hers, yet here they were. She pinned a bewildered stare at the hand holding the cold beverage, before darting her eyes up to the owner. A scrunch of her nose, and a purse of her lips, then she shut the book close with a loud thud.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, but accepted his generous offer anyway, "As much as I know you're very partial to reading, Reikai's library seemed like the last place you'd go to… to satisfy your desire for knowledge."
"Touche," Kurama responded with a sly grin, "though, I am here because I want it."
"You want it?" The ferry girl popped open the can of soda, "Sounds odd. There must be some kind of urgent circumstance that you can't help getting Reikai entangled along to solve it," she added coolly, before bringing the drink to her lips. Oblivious to the fox's stare, she proceeded to tilt her head back, swallowing greedy intakes of the liquid refreshment, the soda melting on her tongue.
With a cryptic smile, Kurama eyed her intently as she put the beverage away and wiped at her mouth. "I suppose you could say that."
"Although, I don't understand how that situation couldn't have been avoided," Botan retorted with a sideglance at the redhead.
"Not exactly," he replied, tilting his head back to study her in mirth as she slid open her book again, "as I find myself needing a place to stay."
"Oh, dear lord!" the ferry girl cried, then whimpered when she accidentally cut her finger whilst trying to turn to another page. She settled her gaze on the fox, eyes wide with shock. "You're staying at Reikai? You mean, like, living here?"
"Yes."
"I'm not sure if there aren't any rules against such anomaly."
Botan blinked as Kurama abruptly took her hand, bringing her finger to his face. Studying the slash on her porcelain skin for a moment, the fox turned to look at her, a smirk lingering at the corners of his mouth as he brought her finger to his lips, his tongue darting out to lick at the drop of blood that trickled down her flesh. A shiver went down her spine, but Botan promptly tugged the appendage away from his grasp.
"Koenma has taken care of that," Kurama finally told her, humor evident in his pools of green as he watched her hide her blush under her book, "I assure you."
"B-but, to stay here in Reikai…" Botan trailed off, and briefly sounded a gulp, before going on, "Isn't that a bit unbecoming for someone of your reputation… or your kind, for that matter? You know how most reigens here think of demons, so why would you… can't you just stay at Makai?"
"What others think of me is not of any importance to me," he said without a hint of hesitation, "and though Makai has been my home for centuries, I realize now that no longer it is, so I find myself unable to go back."
Botan chewed at the bottom half of her lip, her mind racking for another 'solution' to the problem. "What about Ningenkai? You've been living there for twenty or so years—"
"Ningenkai reminds me too much of my mother," he cut her off in a soft voice, and that was all it took for her to fall silent, the fact that she'd just reminded him of the death of his human mother never lost on her.
"I-I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to…" she trailed off, unable to continue as he placed a hand on hers, running soothing circles on the smooth skin. She tried to pull away, but found that she had no heart to do so.
"It's alright," he told her, a genuine smile, one she had rarely seen from him these days, curving up the edge of his lips.
"What about… your step-family?"
"I told them I'd be living abroad with a close friend."
"And your friends?"
"We were never that close."
She bit her lip, trying to focus on the sentences written on the piece of paper connected to the book she was reading than the warm pair of lips placing soft, open-mouthed kisses on her fingers, the occassional adding of a wet tongue sliding over the digits causing her to involuntarily shiver.
"Is that it?" she inquired, her voice slightly hoarse, as she finally mustered up the courage to pull herself apart from the fox's touch. "Is that why you came here? Because you have nowhere else to go to?"
"No," he said, then in a murmur, almost as if a hushed whisper, echoed the words, "I needed to see you."
"What?!" Botan's loud, ear-piercing shrieked echoed through the walls of Reikai, sending flocks of birds flying away.
For a moment, a wince was the only response she earned from her employer, before he then pinned a fixed look on her form. "Look," he started, a heavy sigh threatening to escape his lips, "this is the only solution there is."
"B-but," she sputtered for a second before collecting her composure, "I'm a woman, and he's a man," she went on, voice firmer and body straighter now, trying to come off confident. "It'd be thorougly inappropriate."
Koenma seemed as if he was on the verge of having a headache. Massaging his temples, the Reikai prince shut his eyes and eventually expelled a soft sigh. "As if Kurama would land a finger on you," he told her, as if reassuring her, unaware that his words had no effect on her. "And there's no other place for him to stay. No room, no anything. Nothing." He then flicked his eyelids open, now looking at her hard in the eyes. "You can't expect me to throw him out, can you?"
"You know that's not what I meant," Botan responded with a pout, "but you can't honestly tell me that in this huge palace we're living, there's really no room for him to lodge in to? That doesn't make any sense!" she continued to argue, intent on another solution for the matter at hand.
"There is one room," her boss said with a touch of calmness in his voice, though his eyes carefully observed Botan's face, "but it is deemed unfit for him to stay due to the construction and fixing up still ongoing."
"Still, does that mean he has to be my roommate?"
"Trust me, Botan, it is merely for a little while."
"B-but…"
A heavy sigh erupted from the male's lips immediately succeeded in silencing her protests. The ferry girl bit her lower lip, her gaze downcasted to her feet. "Botan," Koenma started with a light shake of his head, "I understand you two have a lot of history together, most of which is very painful, especially in your case. But, please get this. Kurama's my friend. And although Reikai Tantei has long since disbanded, I can't just abandon him." And Botan finally looked up at him, inhaling a sharp intake of breath as she saw the pleading look in his hazel irises.
"I can understand that," she murmured, "but all of this is just going too fast."
"I'm aware that this is rather drastic," Koenma said, carefully looking over her reaction, "but you know I have no choice. I hope you don't mind," he finished, and although his voice emphasized that he sympathized with her, she knew that the decision was final.
Botan opened her mouth, but found no voice to protest. Staying under one roof with her former lover? No, why would she?
The moment Botan opened the door that day, something at the back of her mind told her that she could never turn back.
Kurama stood before her with a few packed bags at his either side, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he looked up and locked eyes with hers. "Botan," he greeted her, a warm smile lingering on his mouth, "how have you been?"
The ferry girl avoided his stare, and proceeded to step aside in order to let him in. "I've been fine," she finally answered, her voice seeming as if it didn't belong to her, "and you?" she asked, shutting the door close as Kurama slid in.
"Never better," he said, his smile broadening ever so slightly. "Where do I put these?" he added as he tilted his head to his bags.
"Er, my room's that way," she responded absent-mindedly as she pointed a finger at a direction, "You can place your belongings there. Um, and go ahead and have a shower or something. You must be tired."
"Exhausted," he 'corrected' her, but nodded his head her way in gratitude. "Thank you," he breathed, and looked at her straight in the eyes. Botan felt her heart literally do a flip, but tried not to let the blush creep up her cheeks as she nodded once and muttered,
"You're welcome."
Ah, what the hell was she doing?
Botan scolded herself as she flopped down the couch, her back bouncing against the soft material as she let out a sigh. She felt as if she was in cold water, and she couldn't breathe. Suffocating. With no one to help her.
What was she doing, letting him in? There was a reason they weren't together anymore. A reason why she tried to avoid him with every opportunity she'd get. They had both done a lot of harm to each other before, and allowing him to stay in the same apartment as her just wouldn't do. How was she supposed to face him every morning? How was she going to sleep knowing he was slumbering in the same room as her? Botan felt restless, and for good reason; this was her ex-lover, for Pete's sake. And one whom had hurt her a lot of times before. How did they end up together all those years? Botan couldn't tell. He was a demon, and she'd been a human.
She broke out of her reverie as the screeching sound that followed the action of a door being pushed open reached her ears. She took one glance over her shoulder and caught sight of Kurama with a towel wrapped around his head, droplets of water dripping from the tips of his hair and trickling down his skin. Botan stared at him momentarily; the way the shirt clung around the hard contours of his still soaked form, the strands of red hair sticking to his flawless, charming features, the up and down motion of his chest as he inhaled and exhaled deep breaths of air, and the hungry look in his eyes as they locked with hers…
Botan felt her face burning up under his predatory gaze, and promptly, without bothering to pick up the remote which fallen following her action, got up to her feet and excused herself. She hurried to her room, and with one nod at the fox's direction, said,
"I'm going to take a nap."
In the middle of the day? She was such a liar. And not a very good one, either.
"Botan, Botan!"
The ferry girl lifted her head from the tea she was sipping as she fixated her gaze on the blonde approaching her. She recognized her as one of her fellow co-workers slash ferry girls, and put on a smile as the younger girl took a seat in front of her at the small, round dining table.
"Yes? What is it, Yura?" she asked, focusing her attention back to her sewing as she placed her cup to its original place and leaned back in her chair.
"So I've heard," Yura started, and Botan could just feel her grinning from ear to ear. The blue-haired girl attempted a half-smile, knowing it must be one of those silly, and definitely untrue gossips going around again.
"What is it about now?" she inquired, deciding to play along with the younger ferry girl.
"Is it true," Botan watched with arched eyebrows as Yura crossed her arms on the table and leaned slightly forward, a cat-like grin evident on her lips, "that the legendary fox thief, Youko Kurama, is living with you as of now?"
Eyebrows down, and knitted together in a deep frown now embedded on Botan's forehead and marring her elegant features. She parted her lips, clamped it shut, then opened it again, and only one word left her: "What-?"
"I heard it from a senior," Yura informed her despite not having asked, "that you guys used to date each other."
"That was a long time ago," Botan quickly said, heart beating fast in her chest, and throat dry, "from way before I became a ferry girl."
"But, you were human, right?" Yura continued to prob, "It was still forbidden even though you weren't working under Reikai laws."
Botan took hold of her cup of tea, fingers slightly shaking as she brought it to her lips and downed everything in one gulp, and nearly slammed the cup on the table. "We ended things decades ago."
"Yet, you still like him, don't you?" Yura asked, oblivious to Botan's rising frustration, "I heard he'd been looking for you for years, and that just when he got entangled in Yusuke Urameshi's case for stealing the Mirror of Darkness, did he find what he'd been looking for – you."
Botan felt a small tug around her chest, but proceeded to ignore it as she murmured, "That was a coincidence. Neither of us knew we would see each other."
"And how did you feel when you did?"
"I—"
"Don't you have other things to attend to, Yura-san, than sitting here indulging in silly gossips?" a voice interrupted the conversation, and both girls looked up to see Ayame standing before them with her arms crossed over her chest, her face calm but her purple orbs stern.
Yura pursed her lips in disappointment, but decided that she could continue the conversation on another time as she promptly stood up from her chair. Sticking her tongue out at Ayame, the young blonde then went to hurry off to her duties, before halting in her tracks and glancing over her shoulder at the blue-haired ferry girl looking distraught.
"Well, since you said there's nothing between you and him anymore, I guess you wouldn't mind some of us making a move on him?" Yura said with a short, girlish laughter, then without waiting for the older ferry girl to respond, whirled around and skipped away. For a moment, Botan's eyes were blank, but when Yura's words finally registered in her mind, she hadn't realized she'd dropped her cup of tea until she heard the glass breaking.
Looking down to the grass turning brown due to the tea, Botan was flabbergasted and embarrassed at her mistake, especially with Ayame around. "I apologize, I wasn't… My head was in the clouds," she said quickly, going on to pick up the broken shards.
"It's alright, Botan-san," Ayame murmured, and grabbed Botan's wrist, "Are you okay?"
"I-I'm fine," Botan tried, forcing a smile on her trembling lips. She felt tears threatening to come out from the back of her eyes, but tried to contain them by blinking them away. "I –I just—"
"Don't mind Yura, she's just an immature child."
"I-I know."
Botan placed the bits and pieces of the broken glass into her left palm, careful in her actions so as not to hurt herself. A giggle reverberated in her ears and caught her attention, and she looked up. She saw Kurama walking past with a girl beside him, a smile on his lips.
A sharp prick at the middle of her chest, like a snake coiling around her heart, and she bit back her cry and forced a smile.
Botan's eyelids flicked open and blinked at the moonlight seeping through the curtains, creating a fluorescent blue in the dark room.
Her throat felt dry.
Ignoring the creaking sound of the bed, Botan threw her legs over the edge and went on sliding on her bunny slippers. Sparing only a fleeting glance at the red top peeking from the blankets of the futon lying on the cold floor, the girl procceeded to stand up from the bed and walked for the door. Opened it silently and got out stealthily, so as not to wake the other person.
She went straight for the kitchen and fetched herself a cold drink from the bridge. She downed all of the water and poured another to bring with her to bed. She wrapped an arm around herself, running her hand up and down her shoulder in an attempt to sap some warmth into her icy figure. Her bare feet padded softly against the floor, her hand on her glass of water. She went for the entrance, but stopped mid-way in her tracks as she bumped into a body. She staggered and nearly felled back, but an arm swiftly wrapped around her waist, pulling her up and against a hard chest. She looked up and met a pair of emeralds, the flickers of smoldering gold peeking through long eyelashes unmistakable, causing a chill to go down her spine.
Shit—It was Kurama.
Botan sighed softly, extracting herself from him just as he released his hold on her. Gripping tightly to her glass, Botan wished so hard that this was all just a bad dream – but then, a single voice called out to her in the darkness.
"Botan?" Rich, smooth, almost deep and husky; it belonged to none other than the fox's. "What are you doing awake?"
Botan huffed and turned her head from him, half her body in the moonlight and the other in the dark. "I don't see any reason I should tell you," she hissed, eyes dark. Acutely, she was aware of his form advancing forward, causing her to take hurried steps back. A gasp erupted from her lips as her back pressed against the counter, leaving no more room for escape, and she could have sworn Kurama's gold flashed at her. Dangerously. Almost predatorily.
"What are you doing here?" Her voice sounded like it would break under the pressure. "You should get to sleep."
Kurama grinned tiredly. "Just up for some water, Botan," he casually told her, with a slight tilt of his head. But, already she was aware of him placing his hands on either side of her hips, trapping her against the counter and his body. "You still didn't answer my question."
"I was thirsty," she answered in one short, quick breath. "I should go now—"
She went to somehow side step herself out of his grasp, but a hand quickly took hold of her upper arm, pushing her back against the counter, and before she could say anything in protest, a warm mouth was already on hers, greedily devouring her lips; his kiss wanting and urgent, as though he had not drunk for days. She could feel pent-up desire, as though he was punishing her for making him wait for so very long. For a moment there, she froze, her body turning into a rigid line, but then, unable to bear it anymore, she started responding to the kiss, her mouth moving back and forward against his, rhythmically, like a dance or something of the sort.
When Botan gasped for breath, Kurama assaulted her lips with his tongue, memorizing every corner of her plump mouth, before sliding inside and stroking with hers- -his hand riding up her skirt- -her moaning- -slim fingers curling and gripping onto his hair- -a leg sliding around his waist- -his groans- -grinding –"don't stop"- -a hand on her breast- -her gasp for breath-
"Botan…" Kurama whispered, but then reality came rearing its ugly head, slapping her across the face. Her eyes darted around her, and she saw her leg around his waist, his hand on her bare hip, hovering just above the hem of her underwear –oh god, no, what the hell was she doing? With a newfound strength, she pushed him away roughly, barely aware of the loss of grip she had on the glass of water and the sound of it breaking as it felled to the floor as she ran out of the kitchen, hurrying to her room –to any place, in sanctuary. Vividly, she recalled Kurama calling out to her.
It was only when she reached her bedroom and shut the door close with her back lying flat against the cold, wooden surface, and she'd slumped down to the floor, did she notice her state of dress and remembered his. Her night gown reached the ground, and could be called decent; however, the top was not much to cover. In its embedded pearl state, the straps were loose and hung on shoulders, leaving most of her cleavage open to hungry eyes, but when smoothed down, it was fitted around her chest.
Then, there was Kurama.
He was in nothing but a pair of pajamas, and that was decent enough, but how about her?
Botan didn't understand why she was breathing so hard or why she could feel red creeping up her throat and face, but she shook her head. She walked up to the bed, and without another thought, flopped down on it and threw the blankets around her.
The next morning, when she woke, she realized he wasn't there and that the couch was warm, as if someone had slept on it all night.
"Hey, Botan."
"Hm?"
"Who's he?"
Botan averted her gaze from her paperwork to focus it on her short red-haired friend, Hinageshi, who was pointing her index finger at someone at 3:00 o'clock. Blinking, the blue-haired girl then allowed her eyes to follow the direction the younger girl pointed at, her mouth forming an 'o' as she realized who it was Hinageshi was talking about. Black, almost dark, copper hair, sapphire blue eyes and a sweet smile from a man in SDF uniform greeted her. She returned the smile with her own, albeit hers was evidently more nervous than friendly, before turning her attention back to her small peer.
"He's Satotsu," she answered, with a nonchalant shrug of her right shoulder, "You know, that new SDF recruit everyone's been talking about."
"Ah!" Hinageshi beamed, snapping her fingers as if she just remembered something. "He's the hot guy who the ferry girls keep saying has a 'great bod' and sexy charm… or something like that."
Botan let out a wholehearted laugh, half finding it amusing how gushy yet innocent her friend could be at times. "Well, I don't know about the sexy charm, but I do admit that he has a well-sculptured figure," she agreed with a cheeky grin, her amethyst eyes dancing in mirth as she ogled Hinageshi sigh in a dreamy way.
"I can see why the girls are all going gaga over him," Hinageshi breathed, a pink tinge coloring her cheeks, "He's absolutely gorgeous."
"Beyond perfection," Botan affirmed, though absent-mindedly and seeming more focused on her paperwork at hand than the ongoing conversation.
"Aside from Kurama-san," Hinageshi started, unaware of the tip of the older ferry girl's pen snapping in half at the mention of the former thief, "the women in this palace has been going through extreme lengths to get Satotsu in their bed. They are quite scandalous, if you ask me."
Botan cleared her throat, and tucked a strand of blue hair behind her ear, a nervous laughter escaping her lips in an involuntary attempt to cover up her discomfort over having heard Kurama's name – and the fact the other ferry girls had been trying to sleep with him.
"Er," she began, her voice awkward, "you mean Kurama and Satotsu or the women?"
"Ah, the women, of course," Hinageshi said casually, as if she was merely talking about the weather, "They say the guys are too busy swooning over someone else to react properly to their sexual advances."
Botan's ears perked up in interest at the mention of the boys – more specifically, Kurama – being partial to a girl, and before she could stop herself, blurted out, "Who are you talking about?"
And the moment her question echoed in the air, Hinageshi turned to look at her, her red eyebrows knitted together in a deep frown, as if confused. The younger girl studied her intently, almost as if trying to read her, and Botan soon grew uncomfortable. Moments passed, then she couldn't take it anymore.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, her eyes wide with fear; something at the back of her mind kept nagging at her about something, but she couldn't quite interpret what it really was.
Hinageshi parted her lips, and clamped them shut, before opening them again; green orbs locked with amethysts, then, came the words:
"It's you, Botan."
Kurama liked her? He still liked her?
For some reason, the thought made her heart swell with joy; so much joy that she couldn't keep the jovial smile off her expression. To think he still had feelings for her… It didn't matter that they ended things decades ago. Didn't even matter that he was the one who left her. He loved her. Loved her to the point he was willing to push away other women. What more could she ask for? It was more than she had ever hoped for.
Maybe they could start over… turn over a new leaf… Maybe she could give him another chance... Maybe—
Botan stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes turning wide and horrorful. There, in front of her, stood Kurama, lying flat against the wall, whilst a woman – a ferry girl, Yura – was draped around his arm, her face in his chest and his hand on her small back…
Oh, who was she kidding?
Heart palpitalting wildly in fear and hurt pricking at the middle at her chest, Botan was vividly aware of her own anger creeping up her skin – so much so that she could feel a nauseating feeling at the pit of her stomach. Losing grip on the stack of paperwork she'd been holding in her arms, Botan inhaled a shaky breath and tried to fight her watering eyes, but to no avail, as tears soon started to form.
The sound of paper falling to the ground and flying across everywhere caused Kurama to look up and almost instantly, fixed his gaze on her. Surprise disrupted the usual serenity in his pools of emeralds, and he took Yura by the shoulders, gently pulling her apart. Rain started to drip down, and he parted his lips to form her name.
But, before he could utter out an explanation or even go after her, Botan was already gone, her kimono swishing behind her. Water felled down and sapped into the ground, turning it damp and dark brown.
But most came from her.
Botan slumped on the cold floor, body shivering violently and wrapped her arms around herself, hair sticking to every part of her face. She brought her knees to her chest, and buried her head there as the tears started to fall more freely now than ever. Violent sobs racked through her small, bundled up form, but the rain continued to drip down, getting heavier and heavier with each passing minute. She felt cold. Really cold.
"Botan-san?"
The girl lifted her head to fix her half-lidded eyes on the silhouette standing before her. She could see a mouth moving, but no words came out. Her vision a blur, she blinked once, twice, then waited for it to refocus, but instead of a flash of red hair and a vibrant gleam of emeralds, she saw dark black mane and glazed sapphire blue eyes.
"S-Satotsu…" she whispered, but found no voice to go on. Distantly, she could feel him hovering an umbrella above her head, but couldn't seem to find any strength to care.
"What are you doing here, all soaked and trembling at the hallways of Reikai, Botan-san?" he asked, his tone worried, and his brows furrowed into a deep, concerned frown.
Through her trembling lips, she forced a smile, but shook her head, then fixed a blank stare on the rain dripping hard onto the ground. From the corners of her eyes, she could see Satotsu bend on one knee until he was eye-level with her, and felt a finger under her chin, gently forcing her to face the SDF recruit.
"Are you okay?" were the three words that left his lips, and although they weren't the three words she'd wanted to hear for the last two, three decades, nor did they come from the lips she'd dreamt of kissing every night, she broke down. Cried. Bawled like a little baby.
And though it was embarrassing, Satotsu placed a soothing arm around her, comfortingly patting her small back.
"Shh, shh," he whispered into her ear, "it'll be alright."
"N-no, it won't!" she choked out, cute sobs occassionally leaving her, "It never will! I keep thinking it will, but it never gets better! It just doesn't!"
Satotsu pulled apart slightly to study her, a frown embedded on his forehead. Worried tinted his blue orbs, and though he was curious as to what or whom had hurt her to this point, he sighed and merely listened to her wails.
Was it an hour or a half? It didn't really matter, but she stopped crying anyway. And when she did, Satotsu offered her a good enough company to keep the smile on her face for at least a little while. They chatted for some time, then when the male's communication mirror suddenly rang, their conversation soon died down in the air.
"Duty calls," he said with a toothy grin and stood up from the floor. He extended a hand to help the girl up, then asked, his voice concerned, "Are you sure you'll be fine? If not…"
"No," Botan cut him short, dismissing him with a wave, "your job is more important. You should get going." She gave him a playful punch at the shoulder, to which he couldn't help but burst into a fit of laughter, the ferry girl soon joining him.
"Seriously though," she started as their howl of laughter disappeared into thin air, "thanks for being here for me."
A smile; a warm, tender smile crossed Satotsu's lips. "No problem."
Botan spared one last glance and smile at him, before whirling around and making to leave. But, after taking one, two steps, she heard a call of her name:
"Botan?"
And she spun around to face Satotsu, blinking at the rosy blush that colored his cheeks. "Hm?"
"I know this probably isn't the greatest time to be asking this, but," he started, then paused, and took a deep breath, as if to collect himself. Shutting his eyes a moment, he then flicked them open again and stared straight into hers, his expression dead serious, "will you go out with me tonight?"
And though she half-expected him asking her out, Botan couldn't quite deny the surprise that overtook her. And though she wouldn't normally do this, especially after she just got her heart broken,
she said yes.
Botan scrutinized her own appearance in the mirror; the black dress fitted nicely around her bust and waist, before going down her hips in a wave. The V-shape at the top revealed a bit, a little too much of her cleavage, that she couldn't help pulling it up every now and then. But, aside from that, she couldn't think of anything she didn't like about the way she looked. She could dress up in a completely different attire, but couldn't think of another dress she'd look pretty in. Flashing herself an endearing smile, Botan pulled her hair up, tying it up into a messy bun and watching as a few lost strands cascaded down her face like curtains.
Perfect.
She went to fetch her purse, turned off the lights and shut the door of her bedroom behind her. All of a sudden, Kurama came into her mind. The fox hadn't been back since their last encounter, and Botan wasn't entirely certain of how she felt about that. On one hand, she didn't have to face him while she wasn't ready yet, but on the other hand, he could be out there, fooling around with another woman, and for some reason, that didn't settle well with her.
She shook her head; no, what was wrong with her? If he could fool around, then she sure as hell could, too. Two could play at that game, she thought with a huff as she slung her purse around her shoulder.
The front door swung open and she turned to look just in time for Kurama to step in, body soaked from head to toe and short, quick gasps leaving his lips. Their eyes locked, and for a moment, Botan could have sworn she saw hurt flashing in his emeralds.
"Oh," he uttered, almost emotionless, "are you going somewhere?"
Botan briefly gulped, hesitated for a moment, but didn't let her courage waver. "Yes," she whispered, then in a louder, firmer voice, "Yes, I'm going out on a date."
The ferry girl watched as the fox's shoulders tensed as her words hung in the air. His eyes wide for only a brief second, Kurama then pulled his lips into a thin line, the anger and envy in his eyes evident.
"I see," he murmured, and merely observed as she walked past him and proceeded to slide on her black high heels. "With whom, if I may ask?" he inquired, though it came off more of an order than a request, and she glanced over her shoulder at him.
"Satotsu," she merely replied, "the new SDF recruit."
"Ah." A look of recognition entered his green irises, though a sarcastic smile soon crossed his lips. "I see. I didn't realize you were that close to him."
"Well, contrary to your beliefs, you don't really know much about me," she blurted out, before she could stop herself, and she could have sworn she saw his smile waver, but couldn't quite be sure of it as he quickly slipped it back on before she could comment on his little slip up.
"I suppose so," was the only thing he said, but for some reason, Botan felt an overwhelming weight weighing down her heart.
Whirling around to face him, her own wrath shone through as she hissed, "What's your problem? You go out sleeping with another woman, and I can't even have dinner with a guy who's not you? Who do you think you are?"
Freckles of gold flashed under his narrowed eyelashes, and she could have sworn he growled, "Who do you think I'm like this for?" he said as composed as ever as he pointed at himself, though his voice seemed to rise up a notch. "I've been out there looking for you, and you have the nerve of accusing me of cheating?"
"It's not cheating when you're not mine," she murmured, her voice almost a hushed whisper, but he caught her words quite clearly. Hurt flashed in his eyes, and for a moment, Botan felt guilt creeping up her skin. But, she quickly ignored it. "Look, you can do whatever you want," she said, trying to sound casual, whilst still avoiding his gaze, "but in return, let me do what I want."
Kurama was unresponsive, and she took that as a sign of agreement. "You're attractive," she blurted out, without a faintest clue of what she was saying, "so you can find someone better. We broke up three decades ago, so there's really nothing between us anymore. It's time you get over me, and it's time we let go of each other." And with those words – which were the last she hoped she'd utter to him that night – she turned and opened the door, stepping out and making to shut it close.
She only managed half-way before Kurama stopped her, pushing the door open with a callous hand.
"What are you—"
"Look, Botan, I don't know what you're thinking," Kurama started, and Botan noticed the dark, smoldering gold peeking through the vibrant, innocent green orbs of Shuichi Minamino as he looked straight into her eyes, and the silky silver at the tips of messy red hair – bits and pieces of Youko surfacing as he went on, "and things might have ended for you three decades ago, but not for me."
And with those final words, he let go of the door, and she could only watch, dumbfounded, as it shut close.
"Botan?"
The ferry girl snapped out of her musings as Satotsu's voice, half worried and half baffled by her silence, echoed in the air and into her ears. Blinking her eyes as if to snap out of a trance, the bluenette sent the SDF member a reassuring smile, and although he didn't seem convinced, Botan was glad he didn't decide to prod any further into the matter.
"What would you like?" he asked her, just as the waiter came and handed him the menu. "There's pasta, salad, and oh…"
Botan blocked out the rest of Satotsu's ramblings with her thoughts as her mind wandered from the dinner at hand to a certain redheaded fox. What did he mean, things didn't end for him? If he still had feelings for her, why would he even try to accept another woman's advances? And Yura's, no less. The blonde was known for her promiscuous nature, but Botan knew that Yura would be biting off more than she could chew if she ended up sleeping with the former thief. And no doubt, Kurama knew that better than her. So why would he? Was he deliberately trying to ruin the young ferry girl's life? And what about her? What about Botan? What about the heart he broke twice? Did he not care at all… Botan was reminded by his solemn, almost sorrowful emerald eyes… or did he just care too much?
"Botan," Satotsu's voice called, though she justified him with no response. "Botan," he called again, and that was when she blinked and snapped out of her thoughts.
"Oh." Her mouth formed an apologetic, almost apathetic grin. "Sorry. I was, er, daydreaming. I know it's rude and offputting."
"No," he dismissed her instantly, waving a hand at her, though a less than convinced smile reached its way to his lips, "it's fine. It really is."
Botan wasn't sure if she actually offended the SDF member, or if he was just too nervous that he came off a little cold, but she couldn't help but apologize again. Satotsu eventually smiled again, this time looking more sincere than before, and dismissed her again.
"So I ordered a salad for you," he started, almost as if trying to make conversation, "I hope you don't mind."
"Oh, not at all," she replied with a short, girlish giggle, "I could use a diet. My weight's been increasing a lot lately. I guess it's stress. I eat a lot when I'm stressed."
He blinked, but then tilted his head to the side, the question that left his lips making her heart skip a beat, "Stress? Does it have anything to do with the reason you cried that time?"
Botan wondered if she just said something she shouldn't have and inwardly kicked herself in the shin for the stupid mistake. "Er, sort of," she answered, regardless, out of due respect and gratitude towards the SDF member.
Satotsu thanked the waiter as he brought them their meal for the evening before averting his attention back to the ferry girl. "Why were you crying, if you don't mind me asking?"
Kurama immediately invaded her thoughts, but Botan swiftly brushed any mention of him off, trying to bury him in the deepest, deepest part of her mind, where he hopefully wouldn't resurface again. She tried to voice out that it was nothing of real importance, but couldn't quite get the words out of her throat.
Fortunately for her however, Satotsu seemed to realize that he was probing into matters that was too personal as he quickly gave her an apologetic grin. "Ah, my apologies. I put you in a difficult spot, didn't I? I didn't mean to pressure you. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I understand it must be a very painful memory, is it not?"
She inwardly breathed a sigh in relief, but nodded her head and permitted a small, bitter smile to curve at the corners of her mouth. "Yes," she murmured, "Yes, it is."
His eyes met hers and for a moment, they just stared each other. Botan bit her lip as silence engulfed the two of them, though Satotsu thankfully was quick enough to change the subject.
"Anyway," he started, as a jovial smile, spreading from ear to ear, reached his lips, "never mind the sad aspects of our lives for now. Why don't we try to get to know each other better?"
Botan wasn't entirely certain if Satotsu knew what – or more precisely, whom – she was thinking about. For a second there, she actually assumed he'd caught on, but maybe that was just her imagination?
Shaking her head, Botan decided that she was just thankful that they didn't have to talk about it anymore.
Despite not expecting it, most of the evening actually went well.
Satotsu was a real nice guy, and not just because he comforted her when she'd be crying in the rain, but also due to the fact he was friendly, sweet, and to be frank, more considerate than most guys she knew. He could have been someone she would actually like to be in a relationship with,
if only she hadn't already had her heart stolen by a certain thief.
Botan's laughter abruptly died down in the air as she saw a flash of red outside the restaurant. Eyes widening in alarm, she went to stand up and check to confirm her suspicions – was that him? – but a warm hand quickly rested on hers, halting her mid-way in her movements. She looked back at Satotsu, and realized that for some reason, he seemed to be staring at her. Eyeing her intently as if he was studying her and searching through her soul. The fixed gaze made her uncomfortable and she pulled her hand away.
"Sorry," she murmured, but then grinned, "You were saying?"
Satotsu smiled, but then shook his head. "I wasn't saying anything." His smile then faltered as he peered down at his hand, a sigh leaving his lips before he then lifted his gaze to focus on her again. "Just… what are you thinking about?"
"Huh? What are you—" She briefly sounded a gulp, "I'm not thinking about anything."
"Yes, you are," he insisted, his voice firmer, almost desperate now, "and I can see it."
"And how, pray tell, can you tell?" she inquired, though it was obvious she was growing irritated. He seemed as frustrated as she was.
"You've been acting weird all evening," he stated simply, as if he was merely stating a fact.
"I'm sorry?" She frowned. Okay, that definitely struck a nerve. She hated it when someone could see through her as if she was that easy and transparent to read. It reminded her so much of Kurama. He used to be the only one able to read through her like a book. Growing annoyed at the memory of the redheaded fox – why couldn't he just leave her alone? – Botan slightly slammed her glass of wine on the table, the impact it caused catching the SDF member off guard. "Just because you spent some time with me, that doesn't me you're an expert of things about me. You don't even know me."
Surprise dying down, Satotsu's wide eyes narrowed slightly at her, then in a firm, almost too low voice for her liking, he said, "Who does know you, Botan? You run away everytime you get too close to anyone."
"I certainly do not!" she nearly screamed, almost getting up to her feet, only to flop down back on her chair as she noticed the weird looks the people in the restaurant were giving her. "I don't run away," she whispered, though the underlying anger in her voice was unmistakeable, "I don't do that. I just don't."
Although, it felt more like she was trying to convince herself than the male before her.
His eyes softened a little as he caught sight of the tears stinging at the back of her eyes. He heaved a sigh, and though he was persistent on not backing down, he sounded softer, almost comforting, as he spoke, "Is this about him?"
Her brows knitted together into a frown. "E-excuse me?"
"Is this about Youko Kurama?" Satotsu repeated, louder and firmer this time as his expression turned dead serious. "Is he the reason you're acting this way?"
"What does this have anything to do with him?" she tried to come off confident, though she sounded weak and desperate. "We used to date. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Though you must still have lingering affections for him," he murmured, the statement causing Botan's body to turn frigid. "I can tell."
"H-how?"
"Yura told me," Satotsu announced, watching as a wave of shock and slight anger crossed over the ferry girl's features, "She said that you ran off when you saw him hugging her."
"And then, what?" she asked, though her voice sounded resentful, "Oh, let me guess, she told you to chase after me? So that she could have a chance with Kurama?"
Satotsu seemed annoyed at her, for some reason. "Don't judge a book by its cover," he scolded her, then realized a moment later that he came off too strong. "Yura and I have gotten close these days," he went on explaining as he saw her befuddled stare and sighed. "And I know she's not that kind of girl, even though she does come across sluttish." Leaning back in his chair, Satotsu shut his eyes close, as if trying to calm down, before opening them again. "And no, she didn't tell me to chase after you. I just happened to catch you… in that state."
Remorse filled every cell of her being as she saw that Satotsu was really peeved at her for criticizing Yura, but Botan still refused to let go of the subject, as the question at the back of her mind still nagged at her. "So, why did she… why did he…?"
Satotsu shook his head. "I have no idea," he said, almost tactfully so, though Botan was glad to see him relax a little. "You should ask him that. But, I know Yura isn't the type to do anything too stupid."
There was a pause. A pause that seemed to drag on forever.
Then, he broke it off almost instantly with an impatient outburst, "Look, I really like you." He stared hard into Botan's slightly taken aback amethysts. "And I've been trying so hard to be patient, but I just can't take it anymore." He heaved a sigh, and swallowed a lump in his throat, before going on to ask, "What's so special about Kurama?"
"What's so…" she echoed, but then trailed off. "I don't know," she mumbled.
"Aside from the obvious charm, good looks, all that intelligence and whatnot, what's so special about him?" Satotsu continued to prod, unwilling to accept her uncertain response. "He's a thief. He's greedy, lustful and selfish…"
"You don't even know him," Botan cut him off with a sharp hiss, "Kurama… Kurama is kind… and has a big heart… and although he does come across as cold… but he's not like that at all. He's sensitive and…" she cut herself short as she realized what she was talking about. Ah, what was she doing? "You told me not to judge Yura by how she looks," she went on, nonetheless, "so I'm telling you now not to do the same with him." She was begging; she was literally begging.
She was such an idiot.
Satotsu's eyes softened, then, in a quiet murmur, he asked, "If he's so good, then why did you two…" He trailed off as he saw Botan's eyes water.
Memories of Youko getting up from bed – her bed – after a night of love-making occurred to her- -"where are you going?"- -"I'll come back, I promise"- -she was unconvinced- -"Will you really? You swear?"- -he smiled- -"I swear- -he stood up and packed his bags- -she kissed him goodbye- -"wait for me?"- -"I will"- -but he didn't come back- -she waited for him for years- -but he never came back—
A single tear rolled down her cheek, but she didn't bother to wipe it away. Instead, she reached for her glass of wine and downed all the contents in one greedy gulp. Then, in a soft, almost hushed whisper, carried off by the nonexistent wind, came the words,
"He left and I never saw him again."
Botan felt lifeless, hopeless, and empty as she walked up the stairs to her apartment. She sensed Kurama's energy pattern, the fox not bothering to hide his presence, as if expecting her to realize he'd been waiting for her. Her footsteps growing heavy, Botan dreaded seeing him. She was nervous. For some infuriating reason. And it wasn't a good kind of nervous.
Inhaling a sharp intake of breath, Botan reached a trembling hand into her purse, rummaging around until her fingers found her keys and she quickly retrieved them. Pushing the key into its hole, she turned the knob to the left, the clicking sound that signalled the unlocking of the door sending her nerves reeling. With a gulp, she wrapped a fist around the doorknob, pushing the wooden material open.
"Dear Enma!" she cried, nearly stagggering back as soon as she opened the door. Kurama stood in front of her, features unreadable as always. "W-what…" Botan trailed off momentarily as she eyed Kurama walk past the door and pushed her inside before clamping it shut, "… are you doing still awake?" She took a sidelong glance at the clock, noting it was well over midnight. Had he been up this long? Had he been waiting for her this—
"Botan," Kurama's voice, soft but firm, reached her ears, bringing her out of her thoughts, and she turned to look at him. He looked as if he had been crying. But, she quickly brushed off the thought.
"W-what?" she stammered, nearly backing away as Kurama took a step forward. He ogled her intently, his footsteps deadly calm as he advanced towards her. She took a few steps back, only to stop at the feeling of her back pressing against the wall. Panic coursed through her being and in a loud, almost terrified voice, she repeated, "W-what?"
But still, he was silent.
The darkness in his eyes seemed like it would devour her, swallow her down whole and it scared her how much she actually wanted it.
He took another step forward and Botan looked like she was trying to dig her back into the wall.
He stopped just as he was an inch away from her.
"How was your date?" Out of the blue, the question came, and because it was so sudden, Botan couldn't help but look up at him.
"Does it really matter—" Kurama's eyes met hers and she grew silent as his features grew fierce. "Y-you seem…"
"Angry?" he forced out with a dry laugh. "Oh, honey," He reached a hand up to touch her smooth cheek, running his fingers over the cold skin, noting the way she shivered and sighed at his touch. He smiled for a moment, but it felled as soon as it came, and he pulled his hand away, "angry doesn't even begin to cover it."
Botan tried to ignore the wave of disappointment that overtook her senses as she gathered her composure and with a deep breath, asked, "What are you talking about?"
He frowned. "Do I really need to spell it out for you?"
She bit her lip, but frowned as well at his rhetorical question. "There's nothing between us," she started, then quickly added, "Between me and Satotsu, I mean."
Kurama didn't seem convinced, but Botan saw his tense form relax a little. Although, he said nothing, and she proceeded to go on, "I'm sorry for what I said. I know I hurt you… I just… I didn't know you'd react that way."
Almost instantly, she could feel his anger rising to the surface again. "Didn't know?" he echoed, sounding almost frustrated, "How could you not know? Did you really think I'd gotten over you? Did you really think—"
"Well," she started, equally petrified and angry at him for being angry at her, "you were the one snuggling with another girl."
His eyes widened, then softened, and he sighed. The anger seemed to dissipate, as he looked at her straight in the eyes and said, "It was nothing. There's nothing going on between Yura and I. She was just sad. She has a crush on Satotsu but she found that he likes you," he sounded resentful as he mentioned the SDF recruit, "and I was just there to comfort her."
Botan felt her wrath melting away as Kurama explained everything to her, remorse hitting her hard in the chest at the realization that she'd been too quick to jump into conclusions. "I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't know," she sputtered, gaze downcasted to her feet.
"Well, you could have if you listened instead of running off."
Botan frowned, and lifted her head to meet Kurama's emotionless emerald orbs, though she could see flickers of gold peeking through in silent anger. "What did you expect me to do? What if you saw me hugging another guy? Or better yet, kissing him with your own two eyes?" she half shouted, before chewing at the bottom half of her lip and turning her head away from him. "I was devastated."
"You could have still listened," he persisted, though he said this in an almost inaudible murmur.
"Well, excuse me for not being the most reasonable person around!" Botan cried, throwing her arms up in frustration. Angry tears stung at the back of her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. "You can't exactly blame me after you were the one who left me years ago."
And that was it. That was all it took, and Kurama felled silent.
Then, without another word, Botan took off her high heels and walked past him to her bedroom.
Botan hadn't been quite as fast as she was as she tried to close the door before the fox could get in.
But he was still quicker, and stronger, than her, and she found herself being promptly pushed into her room as Kurama shut the door close behind him.
One of the straps of her black dress felled down her shoulder, and for a moment, his smoldering gold stared at the bare skin before averting to her. She looked straight into his eyes, the tears finally rolling down her flushed cheeks and for what felt like interminable, they just stared at each other. A sob broke off the silence hanging around in the cold air, and that was it; neither could take the tension anymore.
He took her by the arms and pressed their lips together, Botan responding to the kiss almost instantly. Vividly, she was aware of his hand on her back, the other lying dangerously below her hip and couldn't help but slide up against his chest. A throaty groan, and she felt his erection against her thigh, straining against the material of his jeans. They staggered in the room until the back of her knees touched the edge of her bed and he pushed her down on it. All the while they never broke the kiss that went past gentle and controlled far too quickly.
They had experience so they weren't fumbling. They knew exactly what they were doing and neither could deny the fact that they both missed this. But damn it, they were going as fast and urgent as drunken teenagers. In seconds her dress was ripped apart in half, leaving Botan in her undergarments. She had his buttons off and was working to push off the rest of his shirt from his broad shoulders. He traced her jaw, nipped at her ear, then trailed open-mouted kisses down her throat. Botan shoved him away enough to move forward and slam her hot mouth against his, then laughed softly when his hands went to her sides, tickling her. He laughed with her, but the chuckles soon died down in the air as his hard manhood pressed against the heat between her legs.
His hands streaked over her supple figure, greedy for the curves and swells of the woman for night after night. She unbuttoned his jeans and pulled that, along with his boxers, off of him and her hands raced as roughly as his. Her heart beat frantically and she tilted her her head back while he feasted on her. Their breaths grew laborious but they were both ready to suffocate if it meant breathing the same air.
But then, in the midst of the pent-up desire, and the heat of the moment, Kurama surfaced. His vision was in a haze but he sought to clear his head and find some subtlety in what they were doing.
His movements gradually slowed. Touches became strokes. His kisses grew soothing. The restraint he somehow found pulled Botan out of her partially pleasure-induced state and she started shaking her head at him. Hard and fast she could handle but Kurama romancing her and touching her as though she was his was unacceptable. She tried to push him off but he rose over her and kissed her again. This time he was thorough and he didn't stop until he drew a deep and fervent response. He caught her wrists and pressed closer, forcing her to remember exactly who he was and all those memories she thought she'd abandoned decades ago.
"Will you ever leave me?"
He had shook his head. "You know I won't."
Kurama pulled back when she stopped resisting, then touched his forehead to hers. He whispered hoarsely, "I'm sorry for leaving you. I was greedy, I wanted both the treasures and you, and I ended up making a mistake. I realized it a little too late and by the time I tried to go back to you, you were already gone. I looked and looked for you and after all those painful years, I've finally found you, and I can't let you go again. I can't let you slip through my fingers again. I'm sorry."
It all came all too quickly and happened all too fast, but by the time she'd reach up to caress his cheek, he was already crying. A wall broke down, and she soon found herself bursting into tears. Wrapping her arms around his head, Botan pulled him down and hugged him against her tight, as tight as she possibly could, as if she was holding on to dear life itself.
"I'm scared," she violently choked out, and felt Kurama's lips kissing all her tears away.
"Please," he whispered, almost urgent, "don't be. I'm scared, too, but I'm willing to live with fear rather than be another moment apart from you."
He pulled back enough to look at her. And after all those years, she finally saw the love, the tender affection, in his eyes again. She breathed his name and he leaned forward and took her by the lips, just as he spread her legs open and his hand disappeared between them. A moan erupted from her throat, and he buried his head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent.
His fingers delved inside, and she arched her back, vividly aware of his hot breath against her ear. Then, in the midst of her bucking hips and his urgent whispers of apology, came those words; those words she'd waited all those long years:
"I love you."
"Koenma?"
Botan woke up not to a redhead, but instead her employer who handed her a small, folded paper. He cleared his throat in discomfort, and Botan was suddenly aware of her naked state, quickly bringing the covers up to make herself seem at the very least decent.
"I assume everything went well?" he asked, though the answer was obvious. But, Botan didn't care. The warmth at the side of her bed was still not gone, as if the fox had just left. Something was caught in her throat, her palms beginning to sweat and her heart starting to race. Did he leave her again?
"Where is he?"
Koenma blinked. "Who?"
"Kurama," she stated simply, before inhaling a shaky breath, "Where is he?"
"Oh." Hazel irises softened, then Botan started fearing the worse. But then the Reikai prince smiled. "I don't know, but he left a while ago."
She couldn't understand why her boss was smiling like that, nor could she comprehend the reason Kurama left her the morning after the night they'd broken all the walls and connected with each other again. Or was that just her?
"He didn't leave you," Koenma added quickly as he caught the fear in her pools of amethysts, "God, no, he'd never, or else, he'd answer to me." He heaved a sigh. "I don't know what he meant, but he said he came here looking for something. And that he already found what it was."
"Looking for-?" Botan trailed off as she finally caught on to the message hidden behind the words. Oh. Oh. A smile lifted up her lips and she broke down in tears.
Koenma panicked. "Wait, why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?"
"N-no, that's not it…" Botan said through her sobs, leaving the Reikai prince all the more confused. He watched her wipe the tears away, then give him a smile. "I'm just happy. Really happy."
Koenma arched an eyebrow in interest.
"You and that fox…" he murmured, but then smiled and shook his head. "I should get going now, I've got important things to tend to," he told her, to which she beamed and nodded her head. With a wave of his hand, Koenma turned and headed for the door.
However, he let his hand hover a foot from the doorknob as he glanced over his shoulder at her. "Oh, and by the way, Botan?"
She looked up. "Hm?"
A smile. And before he opened the door, and left, the words that left his lips were:
"He said he'll come back."
Botan's eyes widened as the door shut close.
She stared at it, mouth hanging open for a moment, before her eyes softened and another – after a long time – genuine smile found its way to her lips. She looked down to her hands at the folded paper and began to unfold it. Written on it were the words,
"Wait for me. I promise I'll come back."
And she laughed softly. Because she would believe in his promise. She would believe in him.
She would wait.
Then, in a soft, almost hushed whisper, carried off by the nonexistent wind, she could hear the words,
"I love you."
"I love you, too."