The first hurdle of the new term invlolved a freezing cold day in January, a coach, and Ron calling Harry a Bender.
"Morning, benders!" smiled Ron, as he and Hermione approached Harry, Seamus, and Neville.
"This is it" Ron continued "The Swanage field trip is legendary for carnage, It's the only reason i agreed to come!" They had just started their sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, and it had been Dumbledore's idea for the whole year to come along to a field-trip to the seaside. Ofcourse, there were several people who chose not to come, mostly Slytherins, as they detested the idea of spending five days in a muggle village beside the sea.
"Seems like a flimsy reason..." Said Neville bitterly, mocking Ron in his speech "unspecified carnage"
"Yeah? Well I tell you what wont be flimsy - my cock! " He retorted with a large grin spread across his pale and freckled face. "There's this sexy house-wife down there, and every year she fucks one bloke from school."
"How could you possibly know that?" Hermione snapped.
"My mate went last year, and he said that he banged her!" He again had a cheeky grin on his face, and he stood silently for a moment whilst looking dreamily into space. "He said she was the best fuck he'd ever had, a right fit mature bird that does it 'cause she really loves young meat!"
"Oh bollocks! For one thing you haven't got a mate in year seven!" Piped up Seamus, who before now was stood watching silently.
"Yeah I do! Chris Groves" He said defensivley. Ron was well known for exagerrating and making up the odd lie every now and then if he thought it made him more cool.
"Never heard of him" Seamus said, confused.
"Well, he isn't going to hang around with a twat like you is he."
"So let me get this straight" Neville said matter-of-factly. "Your imaginary friend, fucked an imaginary older woman, so you decided to come on a boring 4 day long school trip?" The others looked at their feet to try and hide the smiles on their faces. Although not the sharpest knife in the box, Neville could be quite funny when he wanted to.
Ron opened his mouth to speak, but he seemed lost for words, the others watched awaiting some sort of witty come back, but instead he closed his mouth again lost for words. To break the awkward silence, Seamus turned to Neville and said
" We should try and have a laugh down there though, do something different"
"We could go on a boat trip!" Neville said hopefully "I checked, they hire boats from the local harbour."
"Nah we should try and like, get off with the local girls, or get some booze in or something."
"Everything we're shit at here, but by the seaside. Yeah, can't wait." Neville said back.
Harry who had only really just started paying attention to the conversation, because he was sat next to Hermione on the floor, who was reading a book and having no part in the conversation what-so-ever ( she had sat down and pulled out a book when Ron started mentioning "carnage"), piped up hopefully; " We could let off a load of fire works in our room!"
"Could do!" Seamus said, getting Harry's hopes up until he said "though it would be a bit pointless."
Harry, shrugged this off and went to board the coach taking them to the school trip, but he was stopped by Hermione, who was by now standing by the coach door.
"Harry, what are you doing?" She said suddenly,talking in the tone of a concerned parent confronting a group of ne'er do wells.
"Getting on the coach" He replied, beaming.
"But you didn't get your permission slip signed..."
"I know that" she said, talking as if Hermione thought he was some sort of mentally slow person that was on the run from st mungo's.
"So what are you doing getting on the coach to the trip that you're not allowed to come too?"
"Oh well, Ron was going on about how mental it all was and i really,really wanted to go. So i asked Flitwick if i could come down and help him out."
"Peado Flitwick!" Seamus said so loud that groups of people turned to look at him, and after realising he wasn't do anything particularly interesting or illegal, they turned back to their friends to continue the conversation. "He said yes,presumably?"
"He did actually" Harry said smugly. "I am the master of conning" He stuck his tounge out after he said it, making them all laugh except from Hermione who looked concerned.
"Peado Flitwick?" She repeated.
"Charms teacher, and paedo".
"I know who he is,Seamus" She hissed through gritted teeth. " I don't believe the school would actually employ a peadophile!" She looked as if she wanted to laugh, although the fact that this was a serious allegation they were all making, she managed to over come it.
"They 'av dun!" Ron butted in.
"Yes, but the thing is, they haven't, have they?" Hermione said, pulling Ron a smug face.
"He was caught in the music cupboard, masterbating over the school Orchestra!" Seamus said.
"When?!" Hermione said irritably. She demanded proof that their was a paedophile roaming the corridors of Hogwarts castle.
"Before we started" Seamus replied.
"That's convinient." She turned to Harry with a look of concern, but before she was to believe that the school DID employ peadophiles, she wanted to know why Flitwick had made an acception for Harry to come, because surely if another student had asked him, he would have refused?
"So, what has he asked you to do down here then, Harry?"
"Oh, he wants me to help him out, collecting samples and stuff."
"Of your spunk, probably." Said Ron
"In his mouth" Neville muttered quietly
"And don 't forget the hair." Seamus murmered.
"Oh,behave!" Harry said irritably, and they all boarded the coach.