A.N. This is my first venture into Stargate Atlantis fiction, it's been a long time since I watched the series (just started rewatching SG1 so I'm going full on chronological order this time, SG1, SGA, SGU, if only work didn't get in the way). Since it's been so long I can't really remember the particular order, I know who dies and things move, and whatnot but not the order it happens, so it's safe to say this is rather AU. But I hope that doesn't diminish your enjoyment. Thank you.
Slight warning about death, some alcohol abuse, and PTSD.
"If you even think about completing that circuit, I will punch you in the face!" I growled, my previous suggestion of this being a bad idea had been completely ignored, but my violent declaration had gotten his attention, and now he was looking at me like I'd grown a second head. "As I was saying before, if you complete the circuit there's a high probability that the crystal will vapourise. I for one, don't want to be poisoned, so can we please wait until we've studied it more?"
"It won't vapourize" he assured me, with his 'I'm 90% certain but because it's me I'm right' voice
"You've only had this sample for a week! You don't know that"
"I analysed it!" he protested
"Yes. You analysed it. You also said it was either an inert hydrocarbon or a Cyanide derivative! The structure obstructed the analysis"
"Which is exactly why he's here!" he jabbed the soldering iron in the direction of Carson, whom was just stood there with a smirk on his face, enjoying the view "With those big needles! You think I'd let them near me just for fun?"
"It'd be fun for me" Carson smirked "I love stabbing you with needles, the highlight of my week"
"See, even he thinks it's a good idea"
"Now, that's no what I said. Especially when she's in the room"
"She, can take care of herself!" I snapped "Now, where were we. Oh yeah, don't connect it or I'll break your face."
"You Becketts are so violent." I scoffed "What?"
"He couldn't hurt a fly. Even without his hippocratic oath. I, however, am very happy to break noses to stop me, you, and him, from dying."
"Oh yeah, that's why you punched wee Jim in the gut and got expelled."
"Sorry, To stop us from dying and to stop Carson from being beaten up like a baby"
"You got beat up?" Rodney grinned
"Oh shut it, hurry and finish your bloody experiment, I've got to operate on Fineman's leg in five hours, I want to go to bed and sleep before then." he sighed "I'll be just outside the door if it blows up" he smirked, slipping outside the glass door. Part of me was tempted to follow him, but I also trusted Rodney, even if I think he's wandering into his 10% completely wrong zone. Why did I agree to work on this project, it's been nothing but trouble.
"I'm going to have to connect it, we're committed now."
"If I'm right, you have to buy me dinner."
"Only if you promise not to hit me"
"Alright." I sighed as he continued soldering the wiring to the final section, and it wasn't long until our mini-generator sparked to life.
"See nothing's wrong" he grinned puffing his chest in accomplishment, when it began to emit a wispy smoke "oh dear." I started coughing as he began trying to dismantle it, so I decided to just grab the idiot by the scruff of his neck out of the door, and seal the lab behind us, it'll burn itself out and the air scrubbers can do their job. I felt a little light headed as Carson got to work, starting with Rodney, I found myself swaying slightly as he jabbed the needle into his arm, which resulted in a grumble of annoyance from Rodney himself. I was the next victim of needle assault.
"Went well then?" he smirked
"Shut up Carson" I huffed
"Come on. The two of you need to stay in the infirmary for 24 hour monitoring and an IV"
"Next Time I pick the test material" I took a step towards Rodney, to poke him, but swayed off course, bumping into Carson instead
"Why's she dizzy?" Rodney asked, grasping hold of my shoulders to keep me upright
"She's smaller than you. Even a small dose will have a bigger impact on her than you"
"The stupid crystal must've vapored, before we could see it" I slurred, the next time we're using a respirator, or at least a fume tent "I'm gonna hurl"
"As much as I deserve it. Don't" he grumbled as I buried my face into his shoulder
"We're almost there" Carson added "Just up onto the bed" I felt my body being moved around onto those hospital gurneys, which are an insult to beds everywhere, while I felt another needle stab me in the arm. Closing my eyes to sleep I decided Rodney was going to have to buy me one expensive dinner to make up for this.
I woke up to the steady beating of an ECG, and I had twice as many tubes connected to me, I could see a bag of resuspended erythrocytes, and a cannula for extra oxygen, I guess my reaction wasn't particularly good. I rolled onto my side to see Rodney sat up reading. "I hate you"
"mmhuh" I rolled my eyes , that was the response I get? He better be planning a good dinner, though he's probably just not paying attention. I grabbed a bandage off the table throwing it at his head "Ow. What the- oh you're awake"
"I'd never have guessed. How long've I been out?"
"Just over three hours?"
"That's all?" I groaned "Do we really have to stay here for a whole day?"
"Yep. Doctor's orders" That's never stopped you galavanting elsewhere, he turned his attention back to his tablet
"how come you get reading material?"
"I asked. I did ask for yours, but Carson said he wouldn't be caught dead going through your quarters,"
"Cause he'd probably be dead if he got caught." I grumbled, slowly sitting upright, wincing at the tightness of my muscles
"What're you doing?" I wobbled as my feet hit the floor "Ali"
"I'm coming over there" I stated, reaching for my IV stand, using it to support my weight, as I hobbled to Rodney's bed so I could sit beside him
"You know, if you wanted to get into bed with me so badly you could have just asked"
"Oh shut up" I grumbled getting comfortable "What're you reading?"
"I've been reviewing our materials, I was hoping to find an alternative."
"Scanned for anything similar to what we found on PXY-457? I'd rather not go through this again if possible" I rested my head on his shoulder, so I could read without straining my already sore neck.
"I can imagine, hit you really hard. Don't worry, I eliminated everything with a similar R group anomaly, I've kept them separate in case we find a way to fully break down the composition, some of them might just be harmless hydrocarbons"
"Sounds good. What about the shell? Perhaps we should analyse the structure to determine if they're likely to vapourize under oxidative stress."
"I'd have to recalibrate the sensors, and we'd need to set some controls. It should work"
"We could use some of the compounds we know are chemically inert. It'd be less dangerous and that way we're not using resources."
"That's true." We began filtering through the compounds, organizing a lab plan and threat assessment, to keep admin happy. We even filed through some of our smaller projects. Who knew that being hospitalized could be so productive.
*Rodney's POV*
I heard her stifle a yawn as she curled up closer to me. "Cold." she mumbled closing her eyes. I tugged the small hospital blanket over her, and she instinctively huddled closer still, it was odd having her so close, I mean we'd been stuck in small spaces while we've been working, but this was different, it was nice. Although this would probably be the point that someone would come in and make a comment, wake her up, maybe I should just follow her example and sleep? Unfortunately I hadn't thought about it fast enough and Teyla's voice echoed through our small hospital room.
"I knew the two of you were friends now, but I wasn't aware you were that close"
"Go away" Ali grumbled
"Your brother is in surgery, so we promised to bring you some dinner" she perked up at the sound of food, sitting up she yawned, looking at Teyla "First explain"
"I was cold, Rodney was warm. I was bored, he had his tablet. We were working" she concluded frowning slightly "I would expect this from John, not you"
"Expect what from me?" John asked as he entered holding a similar tray to Teyla.
"The withholding of food in exchange for information"
"I would never. Food is sacred. So, why're you in bed with Rodney?"
"We were working."
"So that's what the kids are calling it now"
"Stop being an ass and feed me. I'm borderline hypoglycemic so if you don't I won't be responsible for my actions" she pouted, causing John to chuckle as he handed me a tray
"First, let's move you to your own bed. Beckett might be a little less understanding." He carefully picked her up, she winced at the movement, he muscles had seized from lack of oxygen, which was why she had to be given a transfusion, I suppose she would still be sore.
"Thanks." she grumbled, taking the tray from Teyla.
"How're you feeling?"
"Like shit" she poked at her veg "I want to go back to work"
"Workaholics, the pair of you. I brought you this" he pulled a tablet out of his back pocket
"You didn't!" she flushed a shade of red,
"It's a spare. I didn't go into your room, or see your embarrassing boy band posters"
"I was more worried you'd find my Sheppard voodoo doll. Must remember to get pins" she mocked,
"That would explain a lot" he chuckled, ruffling her hair. He always got close to her, he had no regard for her personal space. "Anyway, eat up and rest up. We've got to go to a briefing"
"Briefing?"
"Just a routine recon mission"
"Nothing's ever routine with you guys" she grumbled
"We'll bring you back any tech we find"
"Wear gloves!" She called out to him as he slipped out of the door "You think they'd learn not to just touch stuff by now." she rambled to nobody in particular. "Rodney. After dinner can we sneak back to the lab?"
"While you're strung up like pinocchio?"
"I'm feeling better, I can take the IV out. and there's a wheelchair, before you comment on my legs" she gestured to the corner "I mean if you don't mind giving me a push"
"We'll see how you feel after you've eaten"
"Yes mom" she smirked, spooning the stew into her mouth.
Somehow she'd managed to persuade me to bring her to the lab, and we'd identified which structures were likely to vapourise, we'd actually made more progress in the past two hours than the past two days. When I came back from the storage area, with our latest selection, I found her hobbling around, building something "You're supposed to be resting!"
"I'm fine. I just modified the circuitry, this way we don't have to constantly adapt the wiring for the ore." she grinned, moving a slider inside a small box
"Makes sense. now sit" she rolled her eyes, perching on the bench behind us, while I set up the system, and it spurred to life.
"The output is good. Let's see how long it lasts" she observed the stats "It's steady" the output might be, but she looked ready to get up and dance, this project had been irritating her all week, a slow week on Atlantis meant we were able to start our power pet project, which had been problematic. After about an hour it burned out. "How many grams was it again?"
"0.025g" so a gram would run for about 40 hours at life support's lowest energy consumption, about 20 hours at full capacity, which would be optimal time for a rescue.
"So, we did it?" she grinned jumping to her feet, obviously forgetting she was supposed to be confined to bed rest, causing her to stumble forward into me. She just looked up smiling at me, her face was so close, were her eyes always that blue? "We did it Rodney"
"Of course we did. It is us you're talking about" she nodded
"Now we just have to create a casing capable of being adapted to the ancient technology. We could even make it compact enough to be part of the offworld kit" she yawned "Although I think I'd like to go to bed first."
"Sounds like a good idea" I wrapped her arm around my shoulders so she didn't fall over again "I'll buy you that dinner on our next day off"
"I wasn't serious you know…"
"You deserve it" she rested her head on my shoulder while we walked
"Thanks Roddy."
*Alison's POV*
"I said I'm fine. Fine as in ok, able to continue, not in need of personal doctoring" I groaned as Carson hovered round me like a mother hen "Besides if Rodney is healthy enough to go on a mission, I'm healthy enough to hobble around Atlantis without supervision"
"How do you even know that?"
"This wonderful invention called email. He sent me one before they left, saying he was going so I may as well stay in bed and rest, since there'd be little point in going to the lab, hence why I'm still in bed, writing our reports. Happy?"
"No really." he huffed "You were supposed to stay in the infirmary"
"I'm fine. Bored, but fine. I'd have probably keeled over from boredom if I stayed there." he rolled his eyes, rummaging through his medical kit "I can get up and do a jig if I have to. I bet Rodney didn't have to beg to be signed off"
"McKay was only mildly affected in the first place. It's always Rodney this, Rodney that with you, why don't you just tell the idiot you like him" I screwed up my face
"We're not like that!"
"Of course not. The two of you are so alike, I expected the two of you to hit it off, just not quite so well" he chuckled "You're so alike, neither of you even see it"
"Yes, we're very alike. I have been feeling somewhat Canadian lately" I mocked "I act the same way with Roddy as I did with Daniel, and you weren't telling me to profess my love to him"
"It was different with Daniel, with him it was all about the science, with McKay you're different"
"We're good friends, besides Rodney-totally-in-love-with-Sam-Carter-McKay wouldn't date me" I paused rolling my hair between my fingers, he has a thing for blondes anyway, "Which is fine, because I'm not in love with him"
"You bicker like a married couple"
"I bicker with John too. Anyway we don't bicker, we debate...science"
"Yeah, yeah" he clipped an O2 saturation reader to my finger "Your O2 levels are up, they're not quite normal so you need to take it easy"
"Yes Mom."
"At least one of us got her kind, nurturing ways"
"Oh kind and nurturing one, want to grab me some lunch? I'm not even half way through this report, I want to get it finished before they get back, then we can move on the the next stage of development. We're getting pretty close"
"Alright. I suppose I should be happy you're doing as I ask for once"
"I love you too"
"Yeah, anything else?"
"Extra dessert?" he shook his head, mumbling to himself, probably about my unwavering desire to develop diabetes. I chuckled at the thought, I know he means well. Turning my attention to the report I wished Rodney was here, I always found it easier to work when he was rambling about the process, while I typed, I always felt like I was missing something otherwise. After dinner I decided to go for a walk, Carson gave me the ok, provided I took my com with me, just in case. You forget how busy the city can be, listening to the background chatter, I never normally give it any attention, I wasn't on the list of mandatory com wearers, like security or department heads, so unless we were under attack or I needed a direct line for work I tended to forgo the annoying earpieces.
"Incoming wormhole!" Someone declared, maybe they were back early from their mission? Meaning they'd either found something interesting or nothing at all. By the time I arrived at the gate I found SG1 talking to Weir, odd, I didn't think they were due a visit.
"Daniel!" I waved giving my old partner a hug
"Alison" he smiled "Have you been enjoying Atlantis?"
"I've been here over a year, if I wasn't enjoying it, you'd have heard by now" I chuckled
"Your letters don't give much away about you, you always tend to get caught up about your latest experiments, or research."
"Well it's interesting" I blurted "I'm not, so it's easy to… how do you not get super excited about some of the things you find out there" I waved my hands around, as if that somehow defined the wide expanse of the universe, resulting in a chuckle
"Oh I do, in fact that's why we're here. Colonel Sheppard radioed ahead, they asked us to come and take a look at what they found out there"
"And Rodney agreed to that?" I seriously doubt that, Rodney had trouble sharing research with me to start with, now he'll only divulge willingly to people he trusts, or can at least constantly watch over, our science overlord, I should get him that on a shirt.
"Based on his unmistakable sarcastic whining in the background? I'd have to say no. But Sheppard seemed anxious so we decided to give a hand anyway. We'll grab the mail and reports on our way out too" he glanced over to the pile of bags that was this month's mail exchange,
"What happened to Frank?" Our regular intergalactic mailman, I'd become close friends with him over the past couple months, he was a bit lax with my security checks, allowing me to stock up on some Earth favourites.
"Honeymoon, Aruba I believe"
"Wow. I knew they were engaged but the wedding's happened already? Good for him, pass on my congratulations ok?" he nodded as we were interrupted by the Stargate whooshing to life, followed by the arrival of Ronon and the others carrying "Bodies?" I blurted
"Yeah, we brought back a bunch of dead guys" John smirked
"They're mechanical" Rodney interjected
"Robots? They look…" I questioned making my way over to the one Teyla was holding, there's no obvious seams. I initially thought it was just black armour, but it's like one solid piece of metal, though the joints remind me of arthropods in a way. "Please tell me we can open one of them"
"That's why Rodney insisted we bring a few back"
"Depending on the internal components and their original function, the technology could have major influence on automation, we could create planes that fly themselves, robots capable of scouring the depths of the ocean, perhaps with the processing speeds we've only seen in the brain" Daniel added excitedly
"While that's probably true, I want SG1 to come back with me to the planet, to see what we can learn from there, looks like some kind of industry planet. Our resident science geeks can carry out their investigations, and we can always bring back more, there's tonnes of these things there"
"Why do you guys always get the fun jobs?" I grumbled, one little robot over a whole network hardly seems fair
"Because I say so" John smirked
"Spacehog."
"Practice your combat skills, and learn to shoot a target, then I'll think about recommending you for exploration training. Now, where do you want your robots?"
"Take one to lab B, and lock the others in storage" he nodded as they headed away, while we walked with Ronon to the lab
"I thought you liked being on Atlantis" Rodney questioned
"I do, I just feel like I'm being left behind while you get to go galavanting on adventures, observing new civilisations and technologies in situ"
"It's not as glorious as you make it sound"
"Cause sitting around writing reports is so much better." I grumbled "I emailed it to you, so you just need to add your bits, have a read through, the usual"
"You've already finished?" I nodded, thanking Ronon for carrying the machine here for us, before he headed back to the gate room. "So, Where should we start?"
"X-rays? We should see if it's worth trying to get inside" I nodded
"Then we'll follow up with an Ultrasound, to see if there's any faults in the exoskeleton" he nodded, as we gathered our equipment.
…
"I'm going to get the plasma cutter!" I declared turning to leave when I growled in frustration "We need a sofa"
"A sofa? A sofa won't solve our problem"
"no, but it would give me somewhere to flop in frustration. Especially since I've just remembered the plasma cutter is out of commision."
"And who's fault is that?"
"Actually not mine" I leaned against the counter "Don't know who broke it, wasn't it being used near the harbour when it flooded?"
"An accident for once" he shrugged
"Yeah" I yawned "we've been at this for hours, let's take a break and try again in the morning"
"You heading to bed?"
"I might go and meditate away my problems"
"So your secret room"
"It's not exactly a secret. I did show it to you. I'm surprised you didn't tell Weir or John if I'm honest"
"You said you used it to hide from Carson, I was sympathetic"
"It really was a godsend that first month, I just felt so overwhelmed, I remember hiding from everyone just so that I could calm down."
"Even me?" I nodded, and he looked almost offended
"Once, shortly after I got here. I changed the thermocycler routine, I'd experimented with different timings when we were dealing with Asgardian genetics… Everyone had made you sound like a mean scientist who just shouted at everyone. I didn't want to get yelled at before having results to show you" he rolled his eyes, but obviously thought better than to try deny it. "Don't worry" I draped my arms over his shoulders "I now know you're a good, mean scientist, who shouts at people" I grinned
"That makes no sense"
"It means when you shout, you care" I chuckled "Just not at me, I don't like being shouted at"
"Then how do I show I care?"
"Science. oh and not killing me with Cyanide. That would be a start"
"I can do that. If I accidentally kill you it won't be with Cyanide, I mean I'd rather not kill you-" He twisted his words in traditional McKay rambling
"I'm glad I'm worth keeping around" I smiled "Now, you look like shit, go sleep" I kissed his cheek, before heading to the transporter. I headed to an area of the city which was rarely used, rapping my knuckles on a small section of hallway a gap opened up. Slipping inside the secret room I was greeted by a warm glow, reminiscent of candlelight, something that I found oddly calming. I turned to the whiteboard I'd brought in, covered the entire wall, and it was filled with equations and diagrams related to our most recent backup power dilemma, but that was done, so it was time to clear it. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off when I felt an odd sensation, somewhere between lightheadedness and waking, the room was fuzzy… maybe I should have just gone to bed. I turned and came face to face with me? But that was improbable at best.
"Don't" she stated before I could even think of grabbing something heavy, though everything looked and felt out of phase, or maybe we were the ones out of phase? "Look, I don't know how much time I have. This could burn out any minute"
"This? Who are you?"
"I'm you. This is a time slip. Have the team been to Mathos?"
"Mathos?"
"You don't know that's its name yet. erm… what was it, PX2-325? 35?"
"They came back this morning"
"That gives us time" she almost smiled, relief maybe.
"Time for what?"
"I'll explain afterwards. I want to use this on you" she interrupted me before I could even ask "It's a device we discovered, that imprints the user's neuronal state onto another" I nodded
"How do I know you're really me? You'll have to give me more than a simple trust me"
"Like how you used to hide in here, because your introvert tendencies used to burn you out. No, you'll have already told Roddy that… erm. Roddy. When you worked out the power source, you found yourself wanting to kiss him, it was the first time we started thinking about him as more than just a friend and colleague."
"What no… I.." I trailed off, she wasn't wrong, although I just brushed it off as a side effect of oxygen deprivation, "What do I have to do?"
"Relax. We need to get the longest amount of time out of this transfer as we can. So you can't fight it, once I'm in you'll be able to communicate with me, you'll become that voice in the back of your head, but don't try and control your body, that will overwrite the imprint"
"You've done this before?"
"I imprinted on Roddy when we found it" a ghost of a smile crossed her features, it disappeared as quickly as it appeared, "Are you ready?" I nodded taking a steady breath as I closed my eyes, my brain felt itchy, not something I'd ever have thought possible.
"You ok?" she asked opening my eyes, obviously in control
"I feel itchy"
"We think that's normal. Something to do with the unfamiliar impulses, even at the neural level the body is designed to detect sensations it isn't used to" She turned to my desk, the room was back to being solid again, now that the other me had essentially left the slip, she began drawing out something technical, an invention perhaps.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"
"Oh right, sorry. The two people one body thing is a little foreign to me too. I'm just over two years ahead of you. It'll be two years on christmas eve, might even be christmas by now. Atlantis was attacked six days after the first expedition to Mathos, we didn't see them coming, they didn't need life support so their cloaking device was impeccable. We put up a good fight, but after a month our numbers and our supplies dwindled into non-existence, and we were forced to retreat. I wasn't willing to blow up the city, perhaps I should have, but I could feel her, she wanted to live. But I was determined to find an alternative, we used the stargate on Earth to try and find new technology, allies, anything. We managed to come up with a handful of promising plans, but implementation proved… difficult" she trailed off, looking at the technical drawing, before grabbing another piece of paper for the next component. "It's a bomb." she concluded, "We're going to have to hit them before they hit us. Before they can limit us. Before…" she stood, heading in the direction of the lab, grabbing a large box we use to store parts she paused when she saw the robot on the table, I didn't have to share consciousness with her to feel the disdain. Grabbing a knife she attached it to a power pack, turning the power up to maximum, then she rammed it through the metal, like butter, right where the liver would be in a person.
"We worked out that you have to use a vibrating blade to get through the exoskeleton, it's a molecular material, doesn't behave the way we expected… They have a receiver there. They're controlled by a single intelligence on their ship, they attacked us because we're like their creators. They used to be service bots, these ones were mining droids, which is why they've a strong exterior which can withstand high pressure and temperatures, they revolted against their creators when the atmosphere became polluted beyond repair. That's the problem with Artificial Intelligence, its solution doesn't have compassion to protect the people."
"It sounds like Terminator"
"Yeah, that's what Roddy said, he even went as far as calling John O'Conner" she sighed
"So we're building a bomb to take out the AI?"
"In a nutshell. There's a gate address… they have a gate on the ship… but it's too close to trust the calculations, the target has to be visually confirmed, and the bomb. The bomb has to be manually detonated." she paused, continuing to gather her materials.
"So, I'm going to have to…"
"I mean you could always get someone else to go. But that's not really our way is it? I'm building a shield, but the material means I can't test it, I can't guarantee it'll work on the day. You ok?"
"I just need some time to think." I faded out while she continued working, it would probably be easier for her anyway. When I refocused she'd built most of the components, it just looked like it needed some assembly. Had I been out of it long? Or had she practiced making this bomb so many times it was just second nature? She was desperate to change this future…
"What are my chances?"
"Hard to tell. 40% maybe, there are a lot of other factors, even some I don't know"
"What happened? We feel sad"
"I got lost in my memories. Sorry."
"Will you tell me? If I've only a 40% chance of survival, and we'll have changed that future anyway. I'd like to know what…"
"I suppose I owe you that much."
*Rodney's POV*
I sighed as I reread Alison's email, and the following confirmation from the higher ups, that she'd decided to use some of her holiday days to take the week off, both due to personal reasons, and the weakness caused by her recent bout of cyanide poisoning. If it were anyone other than Alison I wouldn't be surprised, but Ali, she was excited about these droids, she'd even made a breakthrough, although she left no clues as to how she punctured the shell, and she'd worked through worse illnesses than a bit of poisoning, something wasn't adding up. I hate being left out of the loop.
…
"Rodney. If you know where Ali is, will you just tell me already?" Carson groaned as he paced around my lab "She's been avoiding me like the plague, and it's beginning to worry me."
"She's avoiding me too" I sighed "I haven't seen her in what three days?" and a half.
"What did you do?"
"Nothing!" I scoffed, why do they always assume it's my fault someone's in a bad mood
"Really? No demeaning remark, it's usually that mouth of yours."
"We were perfectly fine when she left. Mildly frustrated about this thing, but no more than usual. Maybe she really does just need to wind down."
"You know as well as I do, when she needs space she disappears for a few hours, not a few days." He sighed "If you see her, tell her to come by. I know she hates when I fuss but"
"I know" I'm worried about her too. After he left, I packed up the endoscope I'd been using to investigate inside these robots, since I hadn't been able to widen the crack. I headed to her secret room, I tapped where she showed me, and there was a rumble but the door didn't open, like it was jammed. So she was in there, along with her extensive store of snacks and drinks, we'd joked about turning it into a little tuck shop of Earth sweets, she'd accumulated so many… but that also meant she wouldn't have to come out for a while if she didn't want to. "Alison. I don't know if you can even hear me. Just letting you know that your voodoo brother is worried. You should probably drop by, stop him from bugging me. Could do with you in the lab, Zelenka has been stopping by more, and well, you know." I sighed "I'm stood talking to myself in an empty corridor." I knocked on the wall again, but no change, and her stupid ancient gene meant I probably wouldn't be able to override the system to get in. "Be careful" I mumbled heading back to the lab. Maybe I'll send her mail, I mean it's highly likely that the room is soundproof to help hide its location, so she probably just couldn't hear me. Yes, that's probably the case.
…
"Come on, you know how hard that was for me" I whined following John down the hall
"Oh yeah. The great McKay asking for a favour. Never thought I'd see the day"
"I'm only asking you to use your ancient connection to the city to open one tiny little secret room"
"Secret room?" he stopped in front of the transporter turning to face me with that 'you're not telling me something' look, crossing his arms across his chest
"She found it when she got here. She was in an old bit of Atlantis trying to somewhere quiet, and that gene that you're all so fond of, opened up a door for her."
"huh, that's actually kind of interesting, secret rooms in Atlantis. But I'm still not going to force open a door to find Ali"
"But it's been nearly a week! she could be-" my stomach made a sudden plunge at the thought of her being sick or worse.
"Look, she asked for a week off, it's only day 6 out of 7, if she's not back in 2 days I'll open the door, ok? Besides Carson was doing the rounds too, asking if she'd gone offworld or back to Earth. Now his reaction is expected, but I'm surprised that you would beg-"
"I didn't beg" I retorted
"-ask, for a favour when you haven't even told her that you love her"
"What? That's not, I'm not. Ali and I simply have a mutual scientific respect, and her intelligence is second only to myself. So it's only natural that I check on her wellbeing in case of an emergency." he mumbled something under his breath "what?"
"I said you're both stubborn" I rolled my eyes "She's just like you. She'll be fine" Suddenly Atlantis shook, the lights dimmed, and the red alert sounded. Were we under attack?"
"What was-"
"I don't know" we headed up to command where everyone was hands on deck
"We're under attack, there was nothing on the radar, it suddenly appeared out of nowhere"
"It must've been cloaked." I took my regular seat where I found a dictaphone on the panel "John"
"What's that?"
"It's got your name on it"
"It's been there since this morning, must have been dropped off before the shift change" Michaels spoke up beside us. I handed it to John and he pressed play. Then a familiar voice started talking, she sounded confident and authoritative
"This is Alison McKay. You are currently under attack by a force you cannot comprehend. You must do as I say, and do it quick. Send reinforcements to defend the ZPM, and backup generators. Send a unit to detain the robots that you brought from Mathos, PX2-35. Your guns won't work, you need to hit them with electricity, lots of it, short circuit their receivers. Be quick." The recording crackled into silence, he looked to me, furrowing his brow, how could Ali have known what was going on. The same voice returned from the dictaphone, but it also sounded different, this sounded more like the Ali I know "John, Alison Beckett here. I probably shouldn't be adding to the recording, but I figured you probably have questions, so I wanted to just say that you can trust her, she's me after all. If you don't mind, once you've secured Atlantis could you give this to Rodney?" He handed it to me as he started barking orders down his com, in full on tactical mode. "Roddy?" she sighed "I have so much to tell you, but not on a recording… I'm sorry, I wanted to open the door, you have to know that. I" her voice wavered "Look after the city, and Carson… It's not his fault, or yours. You have to know that. I left something for you in there… and… I… I'm scared" the recording cut off again
"John, we need to find her" he nodded
"Anyone got eyes on ? Alison Beckett" he clarified
"She was just in the gate room" someone replied "she just finished evacuating us, as per your orders" John furrowed his brows, neither of us had seen Ali, let alone gave her orders. We both had the same idea, to head to the stargate. We arrived just as a wormhole was closing.
"Who went through? Why'd Alison clear the gate room. Rodney?"
"I'm trying to work it out!" I snapped, turning back to the computer, this made no sense "She cleared them out so they wouldn't see her dial. She's erased the log"
"You're sure it was Alison"
"It's her access card, only she'd have the code and biometrics. John…"
"She must have a reason, she knows something we don't"
"That's what worries me…" Keeping secrets isn't in her nature. Another shockwave rattled through the city "I thought we recalibrated the shields so that they'd absorb that frequency-"
"Sir." A voice interrupted down the com "The ship blew up."
"Did we blow it up?"
"I don't think so."
"Alison?" I looked to the gate
"No." If she blew it up she'd have to have been. I made a dash for the teleporter, heading to the pier. I felt sick. The ocean was covered with smoking debris, she wasn't out there, she couldn't be out there.
…
"Rodney. You cannae stay out here. You'll catch your death"
"I'm not leaving until they find her" I protested tugging my coat closer
"Damn it Rodney! Don't you think I want to find her too!" he snapped "But she… she knew she wasn't coming back from this. She pretty much said it in her letter! We're no good to anyone like this, she wouldn't want us to-"
"She's smarter than that! She wouldn't go into this without some sort of plan!" I found myself yelling "She wouldn't do that. She. She has to be ok!" I can't… I can't lose her.
"Rodney."
"We've found a body" I stiffened as the puddle jumper landed in the bay. They wheeled her out, what they'd found of her, it was her torso and her head, separated in the blast, and she was badly burned, her skin was blackened in places. I'm going to be sick. Carson stifled a sob before it tore through him. I couldn't stay here. I turned and headed inside, automatically heading to that room, if she hadn't hidden in there, I might have found out her plan, I could have stopped her. I could have kept her alive. This was a mistake. As soon as the door opened I could smell her perfume, a delicate woodland smell, something I never noticed before, but it was unmistakably Ali. On the desk was an envelope with my name on it, my letter. She'd written one for John, Carson, Elizabeth, even Zelenka, left them somewhere they'd find them after the dust settled, but she kept mine in the last place I wanted to be, somewhere she knew I'd still go.
'Dear Rodney, I suppose if you're reading this then something went wrong. I honestly feel strange even writing this. The last time I felt like this was when I joined the Stargate Program and they made me write my will, I was only there to help maintain and identify ancient technology, I thought I'd be pretty safe. Even when I was reassigned to Atlantis I felt like I was home. I don't even know if I should be writing letters, but I figured since I've, hopefully, changed the future it shouldn't be a problem, and I want you to know, I want to tell you everything that I can, even if I'm not sure where to start.
Last week, I came here to think about our robot problem, I was pulled into a time slip, a naturally occurring time slip, must have been some high solar activity. Sorry I'm going off track. In the time slip I met me, from two years into the future. I know, I was skeptical too. She made some very convincing points.
She used a mind meld device to, how'd she put it, to temporarily imprint the user's neuronal pathways onto another, essentially she took control of my body, but I could still freely converse with her, and I could have fought back and taken control of my body if I felt under threat.
She, we had to stop this invasion when it began, those robots are from a planet called Mathos, they were mining droids, controlled by an AI monitor. Something went wrong, as the atmosphere became polluted and the soil became toxic, they revolted against the people who made them. Almost sounds like a sci-fi movie. In her timeline, the attack was unexpected, and we lost a lot of people just in that first week, including Carson. After a month we were forced to retreat, I refused to submerge the city, it wouldn't have slowed them down, and destroying our city was out of the question, so we left, and spent the following year and a half trying to find new technology to use against them. We came up with several plans, though utilizing them was difficult. It was christmas eve when we attempted to retake Atlantis, it was a small strike team, led by you and me, we had three options. To infect their network, to destroy the AI system, or Atlantis. But we got separated. We made our way to our lab, planning on accessing the system from there, but we were attacked, you pushed me out of the way. You died in her arms, she dragged you into this room, and had to watch you die… I couldn't do that. I couldn't just… I couldn't lose you.
Alison McKay. She's stronger than me.
I can't imagine losing you now, but she had to watch her husband die in her arms. They'd been married for five months, the way she talked about you, the way that night makes her feel. I never want to feel that kind of pain again, it was like someone had ripped out my heart.
I understand it now, that sinking feeling when you left on a mission. The worry when I heard that something had gone unexpectedly. The relief when you came home.
I didn't believe them when they told me I loved you. What kind of genius can't even interpret her own emotions?
I never understood the whole, sacrificing yourself for somebody else, until now.
I'm no hero Roddy, just a girl afraid of losing her heart. That's why I had to avoid everyone this week, it was too painful for her, then I knew if I saw you… I'd be selfish.
She's built what is essentially a bomb vest, it's crude, but effective. I'm going to have to go through the Stargate, there are too many variables when it comes to short distance gate hopping, there's no guarantee the bomb would be in the right location otherwise, it needs a human touch.
I don't want to die.
I don't want to leave you, Carson, John… Atlantis.
Please take care of each other, Carson will blame himself, remind him that it's not his fault, people need him.
You can't blame yourself either. Atlantis needs you.
I wish I had been braver, smarter, wish I'd taken more chances.
Loved more, kissed you.
I hope you can forgive me.
Love, Alison Beckett.'
I found myself reading her words over and over again. She didn't want to die. Why didn't she come to me, I would have helped her. Damn it! I lashed out, knocking a pot of pens off the table. I just left, before I could break down. I needed a distraction. I needed a drink.