Burdens
and Responsibilities
By
Eliza Natsuko
Pairing : TezuFuji
Disclaimers : If i own PoT, there'll be tonnes of TezuFuji fanservice!
Summary : "...but I thought my burdens were too heavy for me to bear alone. Perhaps, it was time to rest."
A/N : It has been a while since I last posted here so.. Here I am, with a fic. Hope you'll enjoy it!
Ever since I was little, I've always wanted someone to depend on. I grew up as the eldest son which means, one day, in the future, I would carry my family name, Fuji. Thus, being the eldest son, my parents put heavy responsibilities on my shoulder, like how I should behave well so that I could portray a good image as an elder brother and as a successor.
It was pretty unfair the way my parents treated my younger brother, Yuuta and I. I must be obedient, well-mannered, polite and all the good values you can think of, whereas Yuuta can just be himself. I'll have to admit that sometimes my brother was stubborn and rebellious (but I still love him). Whenever he acted badly, my parents would put the blame on me, saying that Yuuta behaved as such because he took me as an example and I did not set an example good enough as an older brother.
Everyday, I tried to develop myself to be a better brother and a better successor. I bore the over-loaded responsibilities alone. Perhaps that was the reason why I was always searching for someone I could depend on. Someone, just anyone.
At the age of 12, I befriended someone by the name of Tezuka Kunimitsu and by the age of 15, people think we were inseparable. Whenever there was Tezuka, there was me and vice versa. He was respectable, prestigious, well-known, charismatic and responsible. I thought I had found what I've been looking for.
We grew really close to each other. He came to my place frequently and I visited his home occasionally. He brought me along to his weekly camping trip and I cooked him lunch everyday. We would arrive early at the club house every morning just to sit next to each other and chatted about nothing. Even that meaningless talk and closeness to each other gave me contentment. We met at the rooftop during every lunch break, just the two of us, and it made me feel... special.
One day, I went over to his house after our tennis practice. He was having his shower and since I have nothing to do plus I was a little tired from the practice, I lied on his bed and closed my eyes. No, I wasn't sleeping. I heard him opened the door and his footsteps got more distinct as he walked towards me. I did not open my eyes. I felt a slight wobble on the bed and soon realized he was sitting next to me. When I was about to open my eyes, I felt his warm hand brushing my hair. I don't know why but I did not open my eyes as he continued to brush my hair. Then, I felt his fingers on my cheek, caressing it tenderly. I wanted to open my eyes and ask what he was doing when I felt his breath on my face but my eyes ignored my order. A few seconds later, something soft landed on my lips. He. Stole. My. First. Kiss.
Since that day, I wonder if we came to a silent declaration that we belonged to each other. He did not say anything nor did I ask anything. Things continued as it were but we got bolder towards each other. He did not protest whenever I clung to his arm and rest my head on his shoulder when we watched dramas at his house. I did not pull away when he snuck up behind me and wrapped his long arms around my waist to whisper 'Good Morning' into my ear when we were early to arrive at the club house.
Just when I thought I had found my 'someone', he left me. Tezuka left for Germany after our graduation. On his last night in Japan, with me, we stayed up in the club house the whole night. We embraced each other tightly, afraid that either one of us might evaporate if we loosened our hold. And for the first time since we knew each other, we kissed. He did not kiss me and I did not kiss him. We kissed each other. That made whole a lot of difference. Even until the very last moment, he did not clear my doubts on what am I to him. We left it hanging that way.
Will he be back? When will he be back? One month? One year? Five years? If he's back, will he remember me? Will he get himself a German girl? Questions started hitting me hard about Tezuka. I tried various ways to forget about it including searching for someone else to depend on but no matter how hard I tried, I can't find anyone to replace Tezuka. Somehow, the weird feeling that tells me I can depend on him, wasn't there anymore.
One fateful day, after three years of not contacting each other, I received a phone call from Tezuka. At that moment, I thanked God that I did not change my number. Tezuka told me he was back in Japan and asked if I'm free for a cup of tea.
We did not go straight to the tea parlor when he came to pick me up. In stead, he brought me to the market nearby to buy some apples.
"Saa, I didn't know you knew how to pick apples, Tezuka."
"I learnt a lot when I was alone in Germany." Was that a relief I felt when he mentioned he was alone in Germany?
"Aa, still as dependable as ever. I wonder if I can get someone like you to share my life in the future." I said it dreamily and I swear I did not mean him or anything. I was merely stating my dream.
"You could…" he paused for a short while then continued. "…If you would allow me to."
I dropped the apples I was holding and stared at him blankly. Did I hear what I just heard? He looked back at me with eyes that tells me he is serious.
At that moment, I thought about my responsibilities as the Fuji successor and as an older brother. For years, I've been what my parents wanted me to be- an ideal son and a perfect brother, but I thought my burdens were too heavy for me to bear alone. Perhaps, it was time to rest.
Reviews are very much loved!