T for some twisted.
Enjoy reading.
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What was wrong with you?
You asked yourself the same question so many times when you were little. The words kept running and circling, around and around inside your little mind. You were 8 back then, so small, so beautiful like any other wonderful child in this big, big world. Your mom and dad loved you and you loved them too, because you were a family and wasn't that the most natural thing to do, loving your own family? Your parents called you their treasure, their precious and you called them 'Mama' and 'Papa'.
"Saru-chan is the cutest, right love?"
"Of course he is, he is our child dear~."
They were so happy, happy that you was born. Back then, you were showered with their love and praises everyday because you had been a good kid. Although being quiet at school, you were loved by your teacher and looked up to by your classmates. In your class, you only hanged out with Misaki. Your Misaki, your best friend. Your grades were excellent. You did well in everything. Some even jealous of you because they thought you were perfect.
Who would say otherwise?
But it wasn't, you thought. Only you knew there was something wrong with you. You just couldn't put your finger on what exactly it was.
At the age of 9, you accidentally killed your favorite pet. It was a 3 months old cat. Bicoloured fur with heterochromatic eyes. One yellow and one blue. And you loved it.
It was an accident. You stepped on it when it was snuggling under the carpet to take a nap. You wasn't awared of it because you were busy reading a book whose title you couldn't remember. Why was it there anyway? But whatever it was, it didn't change the fact that you killed it.
Technically, you weren't to be blamed for its death, but what happended after.
You took it to the garden and dropped its dead body in the rose bushes. Your mother was allergic to flowers pollen and your dad was too busy to pay attention to the garden. No ones came near them which made it a perfect place to conceal the cat's body.
That evening, your mom tried to call the cat out for dinner. Of course it didn't show up. How could it?
"Saru-chan, have you seen Mi?". Its name was Mi taken from the kanji which meant 'beautiful'.
You shook your head and the lie came out smoothly from your mouth.
"No, I haven't."
Your mom trusted you, because weren't you her perfect child? She turned to your dad and asked him the same question. His answer didn't satisfy her. Obviously. How could he know where it is? Assuming that it must have gotten itself lost around the neighborhood, your mom didn't look for it because it was a cat, cats leave and come back. She just hope that it would come back. Come back to you.
"Where could it go? It is Saru-chan's favorite cat."
"I don't know dear. I think it'd come back soon."
"But Saru-chan loves it, what it it doesn't? I don't want him to be sad."
"You know we can't do anything about it. It it doesn't come back then let's buy him a new cat."
"I don't know, he only loves that cat…"
You overheard them talking one night, outside the hallway when they thought that you had fallen asleep. How could they think you were sad? You weren't sad at all, no no, you were as happy as you could be. Your favorite cat wasn't dead, it was still there. See under the rose bushed it laid, peacefully and it would never leave you. It never could.
Days after days, you sneaked out to the garden while you parents weren't looking and stared at it. Its body was rotting and gave out a foul stench. Maggots were eating its body slowly, the flesh gone revealing its opaque white bones. The smell and the sight of it didn't disturb you one bit. Why should you feel disturbed when that rotting pile was Mi? All you could see was your cat, laying on the moist ground, staying. Never leaving you.
- his parents didn't know about this and he was sure that while he was there, in his room in Scepter 4's dormitory, his cat was still lying waiting for him to come home -
See, wasn't it a good cat you've made for yourself?
As you grew up, you stopped asking yourself what was wrong with you; instead, you started to question the world: what was wrong with them?
16 years old, your parents still loved you. Your mom still called you "Saru-chan" and your dad still looked at you proudly. No matter what, you always were and always would be their treasure. You loved them too, but the thing was, you stopped calling them "mama" and "papa" like before, it was just "mom" and "dad" then. Your grades were still high, that fact didn't change but you skipped school oftens, so oftens that sometimes, you homeroom teacher forgot that you were in his class. Misaki still stuck with you wherever you went. Not many people noticed you at school because you blended perfectly with the background. Dull and gray. Quiet and not too outstanding.
All you needed was your childhood friend's attention, Misaki's attention. As long as he looked at you then the world could fall apart and you would hardly give a damn. That way you and him would die together and the last person he saw would be you. What a brilliant idea! Pity that 2012 wasn't the end of the world yet.
You thought about what Misaki was to you. If words could fully describe exactly how you felt about him then you would use "precious". Just like how your parents called you. Your world revolved between your family and him. The only difference was that you didn't think about your mom and dad when you opened your phone and looked at your inbox messages, you didn't call up on your parents when you felt lonely at night; and you certainly did not have naughty dreams about your family.
MisakiMisakiMisakiMisaki~
It was always about Misaki, Misaki and Misaki. That boy with auburn hair.
Your parents, of course, were awared of how little time you spent with them and how you closed up to them lately. They thought that it was a normal phase that you were going through; besides, children grew up and they prefer hanging out with their friends to spending time with their family. To put it shortly, they were worried but they didn't know what to do.
You turned a blind eye to them, not because you didn't care but because you was being selfish.
It wasn't your fault.
Misaki.
Your precious Misaki.
Ehehehe.
How fitting.
He should be yours already.
Your beautiful Misaki.
MisakiMisakiMisaki~
But Misaki had left? No no, you told yourself, he didn't leave you. It was you who left first. You left because you wanted Misaki to suffer. How dare him looked at someone else other than you? How dare him loved someone else? Redredred- that man was red, his aura was red, anything about him was red. You hated it. It wasn't the colour of blood. Blood was more real. As real as it could be when you let your razor make love to your pale white skin. The colour of blood really was the most beautiful among thousands shade of red.
But that red haired man. Oh how despicable. That man who stole his Misaki. But you guessed you should feel a bit grateful to him because thanks to him, you were stronger. Not as strong as him but enough to protect yourself.
- he still thought of that man's red as hideous though. Ah, but he thought Misaki looked so good in red that he actually let that slide -
This was love, maybe, maybe. The feeling that you had for the shorter ginger was the kind of feeling that instigated you to commit some heinous crimes, like locking him away from the world, cutting off his limbs so he could only crawl on his arms, cutting off his tongue so he couldn't scream, gouging his eyes out so he wouldn't look at anyone else but you; killing him off slowly so he would squirm for you. And then you would have him stay by your side forever. Ehehehe. Like your lovely cat, forever waiting for you under the rose bushes.
It was normal. Because this was your way of loving.
There was nothing wrong with you. If anything, then it must be something wrong with the world, right?
- end of the twisted boy's side -
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