I sure do seem to love this pairing a lot. Then again, it's the one that lets me do the most over-the-top things, so somebody like me - fond of comedic gags that go WAY over the top - is bound to enjoy this pairing.

This particular story has a scenario I tried once before, but with a new pairing (the last one was Koakuma x OC) and a lot more writing experience on my belt. Or was "beneath the belt" the expression?

But I don't even own a belt D:

"Belt" is a funny word =w=


Summer in Gensokyo. Dead in the hottest season of the year, it was a time where people in the outside world enjoyed a trip to the beach or something similar. In Gensokyo, there was no such option, given the lack of beaches. Today, though, there would be a beach trip. No doubt about it.

"Princess Kaguya," Eirin called out, scouring the halls of Eientei once again for her slacker of an ex-princess. "Princess Kaguya!" Where on earth did that child go now? "Princess-"

"Hello, Eirin~"

"Ah. There you are. You sound especially pleased today. Did something happen?" Kaguya sounded this happy only on days where she had a long winning streak against Mokou, or when a new game was released in the outside world. If Eirin had to put out a particular guess, Kaguya didn't sound this pleased since the release of "Dawnguard" or some such. This must have been good, whatever was going on today.

"Nothing. My instinct says today's going to be a great day is all."

"I see. Continuing in the theme of good days, when was the last time you went swimming in the Sea of Tranquility?"

"U-Um…uh…" Kaguya turned a flaming red at Eirin's question. Officially, nobody was allowed to swim in its waters so as to keep it as pure as possible. But…Kaguya was never one for following rules. She was exiled for breaking such rules, after all. In truth, she'd swam in the Sea of Tranquility many times. "I-I have…no idea what you're talking about!"

"Please don't lie. It's unbecoming of you. No matter how long it was, this was delivered to us by the Yakumo fox early this morning," Eirin said, holding out an envelope. "It's an invitation to a one-day beach vacation in the outside world. Apparently, Yukari has nothing better to do, and is willing to take anybody that wants to go."

"I'm staying!"

"What?"

"I said I'm staying right here! Think about it, Eirin! The beach is hot, right? And what kinds of people probably love hot places? Ones who control fire! I'm certain Mokou is going to the beach, so I'm staying right here to stay as far away from her as I can!" Kaguya didn't doubt her logic for a second. Not only was Mokou a fire-manipulator, but she was even possessed by a phoenix! Birds loved hot places, right? The Lunarian princess was certain. The only way she'd leave Eientei today was if the place burst into flame. Thanks to her powers of eternity, that would be pretty impossible. She wasn't going.

"But wouldn't people associated with fire have problems with water? Not to mention how many people are bound to go. Given Mokou's antisocial behavior, I doubt she'll want to attend if so many others are likely to go along."

"…" The rest of that exchange went by at about five words per second. Kaguya wasn't really dumb by any means, but Eirin was a smart cookie. Kaguya now doubted her own logic in favor of Eirin's (a pretty typical move for Kaguya) and was now fixated on Mokou not going to the beach. Because of that, she was going. "We got my swimsuit from the Lunar Capitol, right?"

"Of course."

"Go get Reisen. We're going to the beach."

"Understood." As the former princess took off to go find her swimsuit - certainly untouched for years at least - Eirin made her own way off to find Reisen. Today would be a beach vacation for the leading residents of Eientei. The brain of the moon made a mental note to inform Tewi that she was in charge until they returned. She just hoped the rabbit wouldn't take advantage of that.


Meanwhile, Human Village…

"…I'm not wearing that."

"Have you ever been to the beach before?" Given her friend's attitude toward this whole thing, Keine's guess was a resounding no. It was hard enough to "persuade" Mokou to tag along in the first place. Getting her to put on a swimsuit was a nightmare. "You can't go to the beach dressed like that! You'll get sand all over your pants, and believe me when I say sand is very hard to get off your clothes."

"Well, I'm not putting that on, got it? I'll just buy something nice and trendy from Kourindou if I have to." They were doing a special on summer clothes from the outside world. Buy a top, get bottoms half-off. Mokou had the money (barely) to get herself a nice new outfit, so if it came down to it, she'd empty her pockets and get new clothes before putting on the swimsuit Keine was holding out. "I don't even plan on going in the water anyway."

"And why's that? The ocean is at least half of the beach experience."

"I-I…mumble…"

"What's that?"

"…"

"If you don't have an excuse, I'll get tranquilizers from Eientei if I have to."

"I can't swim! There, I said it! Happy now?"

"How about I teach you?"

"No way! It's enough that I'm even going, okay? Let's just go and be done with it."

"Fine, fine. Yukari said to meet her at…"

"…the Hakurei Shrine," Eirin said, detailing exactly where the trio was going. "Now, I expect you to take good care of this place, Tewi. Is that understood?"

"Hmmm…"

"Tewi."

"Sure, sure, I'll keep the place in tip-top shape~! You girls have fun now, okay?" As Eirin turned and started out the doors of Eientei - accompanied by Kaguya and Reisen - the earth rabbit leader added "And bring me back a souvenir! Like a crocodile tooth or something!" Heh-heh, crocodiles…good times. Big scaled dummies.


Later; Hakurei Shrine…

"Wow, what a turnout~!" Yukari would probably say she wasn't expecting this many people to show up. Of course, Yukari said lots of things. In truth, she was kind of surprised that more people didn't show up. The vampire was an interesting addition to the crowd, and Yukari saw irony in a karakasa going to the beach. Among others, there was also a kappa, an oni or two, and Yukari's personal spotlight for the day. A Lunarian princess and a human possessed by a phoenix. Concealing a smile that practically sang about how interesting this would be, Yukari said to the crowd down below "I'm so glad you could all make it today! Now, if you'll just kindly step through the gap near the door. Reimu and I have set up special barriers around the beach not unlike the one around Gensokyo, so the people of the outside world won't be there with us and vice versa. If you leave the beach, though, I can't promise you'll be able to get back in. Toodles~" With that, the gap youkai of boundaries slipped away through a gap of her own. Where she went, nobody would know, but it wasn't the beach. The crowd gathered at the shrine, made up of people from all shapes and sizes, started gathering around the gap, each person taking their turn walking through to enjoy a day-long trip to the outside world's beaches, sponsored solely by Yukari Yakumo…


The other side of the border…

"It's so sunny~!" Even if she was a total shut-in most of the time, Kaguya looked happy as could be in the sunlight of the beach. "Man, I don't regret this one bit, Eirin! You were right; today is…" Kaguya stopped dead sentence when she saw the next person out of the gap. White hair. Red eyes. Red swimsuit to match her eyes, and a face the same color too. Fujiwara no Mokou, on the beach and in a swimsuit. Her mood doing a complete 180, the lunatic princess turned back to the immortal doctor and shouted "You idiot! I told you! I told you she'd be here and look at that, there she is! In the flesh! What'd I say again? That's right! There she-" KICK!

"Shut up already," Mokou irritably said, looking about ready to set everything in sight on fire with how red her face was turning. Whether it was anger that Kaguya was here too, or embarrassment from Keine's very unfriendly methods of getting the swimsuit on her, would forever remain a mystery to the world. "I don't want to be here either, got it? Just stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours."

"Fine," Kaguya spat at the phoenix-possessed girl, sending both verbal venom and sand Mokou's way as it shot from Kaguya's mouth. "If you ruin my swimming, though, I swear I'll drown you."

"Joke's on you; I won't be out there anyway since I can't swim." Wait…that means the joke's on ME! "I-I mean…it's a deal." With that, Mokou turned and made her way out of Kaguya's way. She was already hating the whole beach experience. Too much water, too many people, and WAY too much Kaguya. If Keine were immortal like Mokou was, the hakutaku would be so deeply on fire that it would take several resurrections to fully heal. Sadly, that wasn't quite the case.

"Ufufu, you can't swim~?" As though it were for the sole purpose of annoying Mokou, Kaguya was following her. Now that she knew her bitter enemy couldn't swim, Kaguya planned on making sure Mokou never lived it down. She was…how old, again? At least a couple hundred years old, right? And she couldn't swim. Hilarious.

"Shut up."

"Even NEETs like me know how to swim~"

"You're bugging me."

"I know~" That was kind of the point. "What ever would you do if Gensokyo flooded some day~?"

"You're really annoying me."

"Ooh, such a scary girl! I'll go swimming where you can't catch me~"


I wanted this chapter to run longer, but couldn't find any appropriate lines to follow up with NEET-hime's teasing. So I just decided a few days ago to end the chapter there and upload it when the time came, which would be now.

So, Kaguya and Mokou at the beach! There's a chance this may turn into a fic of "two rivals get stranded in the outside world" sooner or later, but for now let's see how these two irritate one another at the beach. I haven't done anything starring these two Gensokyo immortals in a while, so it'll be interesting to see another KaguMoko fic where I can do my usual brand of over-the-top humor again.

Kaguya is a little more fond of teasing in this fic, but that's okay. Out of the two, Kaguya often is shown in doujins as the elegant brat who likes to tease Mokou, and I've read quite a few TeruMoko (wasn't it KaguMoko earlier?) doujins lately, so that may have gotten reflected here.

But you'd be surprised how rare yuri pics are of these two, given how popular the pairing used to be. Did Byakuren/Miko take this pairing's spotlight or something?

Well, this is still my favorite pairing. Used to be the crack-pairing of Yoshika/Nue, but this one's a lot more versatile believe it or not, so the writer in me pushed it up to first place.

Now then. What kinds of trouble will these two stir up on the beach, I wonder~?