This is my multi-chapter response to the July fanfic challenge.
Prompt: A story incorporating at least one character other than Deacon or Rayna that plays an important role and includes a message of some sort-e-mail, text message(s), voice mail, letter, etc.-that helps to drive the story forward as well.
An extra special thank you to my amazing beta KarenES for her expert eye, suggestions and wonderful feedback.
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Maddie wanted some answers, but since none of the adults in her life seemed to want to give them to her at this point in time, she was going to need to take matters into her own hands.
Sure, her snooping was what started this mess in the first place, but now that the truth was out in the open and life had gone somewhat back to normal with her mom home from the hospital and recovering, she was becoming increasingly desperate to know more about the relationship between the two people who created her.
Unfortunately for Maddie though, over the course of her career, her mother had been nothing if not savvy about keeping her private life exactly that: Private.
The only details that Maddie had been able to find out on her own about their love affair, with the help of Google of course, was information that was mostly music related or told her things she already knew. Tidbits like the number of years her mother and Deacon had dated, and mentions of the problems with alcohol and drugs that had led him to rehab several times over the course of their romantic relationship. Even with the media attention from the accident and the definite focus and speculation over why the two of them were in the car together, the articles and reports were repetitive and lacking anything really juicy.
Back when the story of the divorce broke, unbeknownst to anyone, Maddie had managed to smuggle one of the many tabloid magazines that ran a full feature story on it from her Aunt Tandy's house.
This particular piece was very heavily focused on the speculation of a romance between Deacon and her mom during the years of her parents' marriage and had a spread with a timeline of their relationship, complete with pictures of them over the years. She found herself especially fascinated by the ones dating way back to before she was born.
There were snapshots of them looking glamorous on various red carpets, performing in huge arenas, poring over song lyrics on the couch of a music studio and standing together in front of tour buses. They were always in close physical proximity and touching each other in some small way, whether they were holding hands, hugging or posing for the cameras, their bodies pressed tightly together. Smiling. Happy.
The one thing she noticed in almost every picture was the way they looked at each other. She couldn't put her finger on what it was exactly, but she knew she had never seen her mom look at her dad like that.
Maddie wasn't sure what she was searching for, but part of her wanted proof that her mom and Deacon had loved each other. Proof that she wasn't a huge mistake.
She wasn't sure if her mom had purged her closet after the whole mess with the paternity documents but it was worth a try. She'd dig around in there and see if she could find anything.
Still in her school uniform, Maddie removed her loafers from her feet and clutched them in her left hand while quietly turning the knob to her mother's bedroom with her right. She didn't know how long her mom would be napping and soon enough Aunt Tandy would probably come upstairs to check on her, so she had to make this quick.
Maddie entered carefully, silently creeping across the carpet until she got to the foot of the bed.
She peered over the cocoon of blankets and pillows to confirm that Rayna was sleeping, and sure enough, her mother's eyes were tightly shut, body completely still, her breathing even and peaceful. Maddie cringed at the sight of the faded but still-prominent bumps and bruises marring her mother's beautiful face. They were nothing new, nothing she hadn't seen, but she was still taken aback by the sight of them every time.
Seeing her mom so frail, weak and exhausted was a strange and unsettling contrast to the completely in-control and larger-than-life personality she usually walked around with. Since their mom had come home from the hospital earlier in the week, Maddie knew she was trying to put on a brave face for her and Daphne. When Maddie woke up that morning, Rayna was in the kitchen making her famous pancakes for breakfast with their school lunches neatly packed on the counter like everything was business as usual. Maddie wasn't naïve like her little sister though. She saw right through the happy act, especially when she heard the constant quiet crying coming from behind her mom's bedroom at night when she thought everyone was asleep or watched her mother grimace in pain when she tried to do simple things like bend down and pick something up off the floor or open a jar of mayonnaise, both of which would result in her downing pills from an orange bottle that caused her to sleep for hours on end. Her smile was faded and she just seemed so...sad.
The truth was, it all made Maddie feel horribly guilty. These days she alternated between being angry and resentful of the adults in her life and feeling responsible for the horrible turn of events that had taken place. The first time Maddie was allowed to see her mom after the accident she had gingerly embraced her and sobbed, sobbed with the relief that she was going to be okay, mumbling incoherent apologies into her mom's hospital gown. Apologies for everything. For snooping around, for telling Deacon, for making everything into such a completely awful mess.
The sound of Rayna slightly shifting positions in the bed snapped Maddie out of her thoughts. Throwing one more glance at her mother's sleeping form, she crossed the room cautiously and tip-toed into the closet.
Maddie scanned the shelves quickly and spotted a large wicker basket below where she had found the strongbox with the paternity test in it. Being it was in plain sight, she doubted there was anything too scandalous in there but she tugged it off the shelf anyway. She dug through it, disappointed only to find a pile of colorful scarves inside. She was about to put it back when she spotted the top of a large brown leather purse sticking out from behind a few shoe boxes on the same shelf that had been concealed by the basket.
It caught her eye because her mom kept her extensive collection of handbags in a different area in the closet entirely. She pulled it out and unzipped it, finding a large yellow envelope inside marked Madeline Jane in her mom's neat cursive. Maddie assumed there were just some random baby pictures or mementos in there from her childhood, but when she reached inside she found several smaller envelopes, each marked with a number on the front.
She plucked one out that had a big number four written on it, removed the thin white stationary inside and began to read.
Dear Deacon-
At four years old, most little girls carry around a ratty blanket, a fluffy stuffed animal or a favorite doll. For Maddie, her most comforting and prized possession is in the form of a small acoustic guitar she got as a gift from Watty. She hasn't let go of it since the moment he first handed it to her at her birthday party last week. She insists on bringing it everywhere. It comes with us to the park, is a regular guest at the dinner table and even sits on the sink next to the tub during bath time. When I went into Maddie's room tonight to check on her before bed, I found her passed out cold on top of the covers, holding it tightly to her chest. It reminded me of the way you'd sit up on the couch or in bed with me, half asleep, fingers clumsily strumming your guitar despite my protests to put that thing down and go to bed. You'd groggily mumble with your eyes fluttering closed, "Just one more Ray," and fall asleep with it dangling from your arms.
Seeing how enamored she is with that thing, how determined she is to learn to play, I have no doubt in my mind that she is going to have all your talent. I wish you could have seen the way her face lit up as she ran her tiny fingers along the strings for the first time.
In that moment she looked so much like you it took my breath away.
R
Her hands shaking, Maddie carefully opened the flap of another one of the envelopes, grateful that her mother hadn't sealed them shut.
Dear Deacon-
Considering who her biological parents are, it's really not too surprising that little Maddie Jane is already stubborn as a mule. She is one year old, and it's something that I have to pinch myself to believe. I often find myself wondering if any of my DNA made it into her because she becomes more overwhelmingly like you every day. She's cautious, but incredibly loving and sweet once you win her trust. Endlessly curious and fiercely independent. Moody one minute and a happy ball of joy the next. I constantly think I've got her figured out, and then she goes and makes a fool out of me in the best possible way.
They say that children have great natural instincts when it comes to people, and it must be true, because she just adores you, and as it turns out, you're pretty fond of her, too. I was nervous about how you'd feel about her, and how it would be when you met her for the first time, but it turns out that I had nothing to worry about. You showed up to that first band practice, eighteen months sober, looking better than ever, and before long, you were reaching for the squirmy baby on my lap. Despite my warnings about Maddie being skittish toward people she hadn't met before, she settled perfectly in your arms, her little chubby hands reaching out to touch the stubble on your face. It was then that I knew I had to make sure that you were a part of her life, if not as her father, as someone important, someone who would be there to watch her grow up.
When she's really cranky and I'm trying to get her to settle down, sometimes I sing her our songs. It always seems to do the trick.
R
Maddie's breath caught in her chest and her throat went dry.
She nervously glanced behind her, suddenly feeling incredibly guilty reading something so personal, something she wasn't sure her mother ever intended anyone to see, let alone her, but she couldn't stop.
Had her mom really written a letter to Deacon for every single year of her life?
Maddie couldn't help but wonder if her mom had written and kept them because deep down she knew she might eventually decide to tell the truth someday and wanted something to prove that she had spent Maddie's entire life internally struggling with her decision.
Maddie knew she shouldn't, but she felt the overwhelming need to read more.
Quickly, and without thinking, Maddie tucked the large envelope containing the letters under her arm, arranged everything just how she had found it in the closet, and made a beeline for her bedroom.