Author: Ashley

Title: I'm Sure

Rating: M

Part: 1/2

Pairing: Mon-El and Kara Danvers (Zor-El)

Word Count: 3,172

Summary: "'I'm not here to change your mind,' he had said. And she had wanted to scream - scream out that he wasn't alone in his feelings; that they felt the same way; that her mind didn't need any changing. But she had lost her voice. She had lost her words. He had kept going, not backtracking on what he'd said, but pushing forward; pushing so fast that the confession was off the table before she really comprehended what was happening. Then he was high-fiving her and walking out the door and she just didn't do anything." - 2x12: Luthors Continuation. Kara gives Mon-El her speech and Mxy never shows up to interrupt them, but does somebody else?

Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl, DC Comics or anything related to such things. The ideas, dialogue and plot points were inspired by the show, but they are my own. Whatever you do recognize is a quote from the show. Plagiarism isn't nice. Please don't steal my ideas.

A/N: Hello, hello!

I've been so busy lately and with the hiatus still ticking by, I feel like I've fallen so far out of this fandom! :( So I needed to get back to some writing and posting.

I wanted to get a lot more writing done while I was on vacation, but didn't have enough down time to get as much done as I had hoped (which is both unfortunate, but really good for my vacationing lol). So I'm still working on a couple of multi-chaps, but in the meantime, I have a few older fics still lying around ready to be edited and posted. This one was written back when 2x13: Mr. & Mrs. Mxyzptlk had aired, but once again, I hadn't finished it in time to post right after the episode and it just got tossed on the back burner.

Smut arrives in chapter two (as per usual I like to torture you all...oops).

Part One

This was it. She was going to do it.

She was going to tell Mon-El how she felt about him.

She'd made up a speech in her head and she planned to stick to it. She had called him and asked him if he would be able to spare a few minutes and come to her apartment. He didn't hesitate before saying yes and it made her heart flutter in her chest.

When she had asked Eve about the lunch date with Mon-El, she was really just torturing herself. She didn't really want to know the details. She needed to know the details.

When Eve has said that it was the worst date she'd ever been on, Kara had felt almost a sense of triumph, of accomplishment, in deferring a relationship with him. She knew it would be awful; that something was bound to go wrong and that she shouldn't take that chance.

She had thrown out suggestions to Eve - the first things that had popped into her head, and they were all quickly and easily rejected.

"He's so dreamy and handsome and funny!"

Kara felt her heart hit her stomach. She really didn't want to hear this, but she nodded along anyways.

"So you could imagine how shocked I was when it turned out to be the worst date of my life."

The words hit her hard. She knew it. She called it. Dodged that bullet, Kara.

"What did he do?" she went along, "Did he look at other women the entire night?" Of course he would. The roaming eyes of a Daxamite…

"No," she stated. Kara's eyes squinted. "Oh! Did he chew with his mouth open and-and tell those inappropriate jokes?" He definitely did that. He must have.

"No!" Eve exclaimed as if that were the most absurd thing in the world. "All he did was talk about you the entire date," she said it with a small smile, but she looked anything but pleased. She'd said it all nonchalant like, as if they all should have known that that would happen.

Kara couldn't suppress the chuckle that strained to come out, her hand slapping abruptly at her lips.

"He talked about me?" she adjusted her glasses before pointing a finger at herself, her face incredulous. She ignored the way her heart stilled for a moment when she asked the question before doubling its pace while waiting for her answer. Eve continued on.

"I told him! I said, 'You have to get over your ex-girlfriend before you put yourself back out in the field…'"

"Ex-girlfriend?!" she laughed. Loudly. How ridiculous! How could she even think that? "No, no, no, Eve," Kara insisted, "Uhm, Mike and I…never dated." Her arms were waving, she was sure she was blushing and she prayed she didn't come off as nervous.

Eve just 'Mhm'd' her.

"Mike told me the same thing." And then she winked.

Winked! She had winked at her!

As if this was some kind of game that she and Mon-El played back and forth; pretending that they had never dated, pretending that they weren't interested in each other when they clearly were.

Eve, someone who in reality barely knew her, let alone knew anything actually personal about her thought that she and Mon-El should have something going on.

But then again, Alex, someone who knew her so well, had said it was 'obvious', so she shouldn't be surprised.

Kara felt ridiculous. How did she not notice sooner? She knew she should have sensed it. She was just so busy focusing on being Supergirl and focusing on not getting into a relationship that she didn't give herself the time of day to even consider that he may be interested in her. After he'd laughed in her face that one time she asked if he had wanted to "mate with her," she thought that was it - relationship level established. She didn't even entertain the thought that he would be nervous or scared to tell her the truth.

She thought back to his face when he'd confessed his feelings.

"I'm not here to change your mind," he had said. And she had wanted to scream - scream out that he wasn't alone in his feelings; that they felt the same way; that her mind didn't need any changing. But she had lost her voice. She had lost her words. He had kept going, not backtracking on what he'd said, but pushing forward; pushing so fast that the confession was off the table before she really comprehended what was happening. Then he was high-fiving her and walking out the door and she just didn't do anything.

A knock sounded against wood and she jumped. Her head looked to the door and she walked straight to it. No x-ray vision needed; she knew it would be him.

"Hi!" His voice was cheery, a smile on his face that looked a little too forced.

"Thanks for coming," she slid the door open further, signaling for him to come in.

"Yeah, it was uhm…a surprise you called, after how you dashed out."

"Yes, I-I wanted to apologize for that, 'cause I should have answered your question…"

"Yeah, could-a, should-a, would-a," he chuckled out as she spun around to face him. Her expression was serious, worried almost, so he quickly added, "That's a thing I heard at the bar-" She wasn't laughing.

"Yeah, but I don't want to do that anyone. With you," her finger pointed at him slightly and he was confused.

She took in a deep breath, steeling herself for the speech she'd rehearsed in her head a dozen times.

"See, uh," she laughed and prayed that she didn't look as nervous as she felt.

He smiled at her. He had no idea what was going on, but she was adorable.

"I can be strong," she continued, "and stand my ground when I'm protecting someone else. But when that someone is me…it's a lot harder, 'cause I don't like being vulnerable." She paused as she watched him for a moment. He avoided her eyes, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth and she felt it in her chest. "We're really different," she said it with a smile.

It was as if it was all hitting her at this moment - how she felt about him, how he felt about her and she realized that it didn't matter how different they were. It didn't matter that they were from different planets or if they butted heads over silly ridiculous little things. She wanted this. They could make this work.

"Yeah," he agreed with a nod of his head. "I'm super fun, you're hypercritical."

"More like, you're an arrogant dude-bro and I'm the personification of The American Way." He scoffed at her gently and she realized that that wasn't a part of her speech. She shook her head while she adjusted her glasses.

"I'm sorry, and I'm arrogant?" he laughed.

"That's not the point," she chuckled with a smile that she couldn't hide. Boy, did he get to her in all the right ways. "It's just, last year I thought I could have it all and then I thought I couldn't; that I had to pick." She found herself stepping closer to him as she continued, "So I chose being Supergirl over having a relationship."

He nodded in understanding. He knew where this was going. She was trying to let him down easy by actually explaining the situation which she hadn't done up until this point. That was nice of her, but it didn't make his heart hurt any less.

"And then, you came along, and I thought you were thoughtless…" she took a big step forward as she said it and he couldn't stop his smile from coming through as he searched her face. She was so beautiful, her voice so hopeful. "…and selfish," she continued, "…and I kept writing you off, and you kept proving me wrong. And it just got me thinking," she pulled off her glasses, folded them and placed them on the table at his hip. Her eyes shot up to his; so bright, so clear, so blue. "Maybe I can have it all."

It took him a minute. It was as if all the words she had just said took a detour on the way to his brain. He had to make sense of them and it took a while for the words to leave her lips and finally make it to his ears. His eyes flicked from hers to her lips as he tried to hear what she was telling him.

She was so close now. He could feel the heat radiating off her body as she held his gaze. Strong. Steady. Unwavering.

He felt himself smiling as the word slipped out, "Hi."

"Hi," she returned, no laughter left in her eyes; only seriousness as she leaned in, her lips meeting his sweetly.

He was still for a moment; his mouth barely responding, and his hands stayed put inside his pockets. Then he felt her hands on his abdomen, fingers trailing up his torso to his chest slowly, very light, tentative and barely there.

But his hands flew out of his pockets and landed on hers, grabbing them. He nudged her gently, but with enough force that since she wasn't expecting it, she stumbled backwards a step. Her eyes fluttered open, her forehead crinkling as she looked up at him.

"No."

She stared at him, confusion visible on her face. "No?" she repeated.

"No, I can't," he insisted, a pained look on his face.

"You can't? What does that mean you 'can't'? You can't kiss me?"

"I can't do this anymore," he shook his head at her, a hand coming up to run through his hair.

She stepped forward again, back into his personal space from where she was pushed away. "Mon-El, I'm confused. I thought…"

"I can't do this-this back and forth. This up and down while you're weighing your options," he shrugged.

She blinked at him. Her face was getting hot from embarrassment. Her eyes were starting to burn; the tears forming as she blinked furiously to try to keep them away.

"Mon-El," she tried.

"No," he stepped backwards. "Kara, I don't want to be an option…as in you finally want to be in a relationship and hey look, here I am, around and single. Kara, I want you to want to be with me."

"But, Mon-El, I do," she reached out, her fingertips landing on his chest before he brushed them off. "I want this."

"Since when?" he questioned, shaking his head at her. "Since this afternoon when you found out that I had struck out with Eve?"

Her eyebrows furrowed as she shook her head slightly.

"Kara, I kissed you weeks ago, and you pretended that it never happened."

She stared at him with a look on her face that he couldn't pinpoint. "So did you."

"And then I told you how I felt and you didn't say anything."

"You didn't give me the chance to!" she exclaimed.

"But you did finally come and see me days later to tell me what you wouldn't date 'someone like me' because of the 'way I am'." His hands came up in air quotes and she closed her eyes as her chin fell.

"It came out wrong. That's not what I meant…"

"Well, it's what you said, Kara." He shrugged before he turned around to face the door.

She felt a tear slide down her cheek and she rushed to wipe it away before he turned and saw it. "I was scared," she said simply, cringing at how her voice cracked.

"You're not scared!" he said abruptly, turning around sharply to face her. "You're jealous, Kara."

Her eyes met his but she didn't say anything.

"I know that you're not scared. You're jealous of Eve and I going out together. And you're mad. You said so yourself, remember?"

"I'm not mad," she insisted.

"Are we going to do this again?" he asked, his eyes closed in annoyance.

"No, Mon-El, listen," she stepped forward, fingers gripping at his jacket. "I want you to understand-"

"I do understand, Kara. You saw me happy and trying to move on with Eve; trying to move on with my life. The focus wasn't on you anymore and you freaked," he shrugged.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she shook her head with a frown. "That's wrong, Mon-El. Why are you doing this?"

"Because it hurts, Kara!" he yelled it in her face and she flinched, fingers tightening their grip on his jacket for a moment in response. He clenched his eyes shut. "This hurts," he said simply, his voice lowering to a cracked whisper.

"I'm sorry," she insisted. "I don't mean for it to. I'm just focused on being Supergirl. This city needs me, Mon-El. But I want you, too. I mean…I'm just…confused."

"That!" he said as his eyes popped open and he took a hold of her wrists, hands gentle but firm. "That's why I can't do this. You're confused. I kissed you and you made up a story. I confessed how I felt about you and you said nothing. You avoid me and when you finally come to see me, you say that you don't want to be with me. I come to see you and you run away."

His hands cupped her cheeks and her eyes fluttered as a couple of rogue tears slid out, rolling over his fingers.

"I'm so sure, Kara." He pressed their foreheads together. "I want this. I want you."

Her sad eyes met his and she let out a small whimper. "I'm sure, too, Mon-El."

"Now you are?"

She nodded in his hands.

"Since when? Since half an hour ago when you decided to call me over here and I actually showed up?"

"I-"

"Kara, I don't know if I can trust that right now. You may think you're scared, but I'm terrified. I don't know what I'm doing here. This isn't how it worked on Daxam. I don't know what I'm feeling or what to do with it. And while I'm trying to figure it out here, you're pushing me away."

"Not anymore," she cried out, "I don't want to push you away!"

His hands dropped from her face and she sniffled, hands wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.

"Mon-El-"

"Goodbye, Kara. I'll see you tomorrow." He said it so easily as he turned to leave, like it didn't break his heart.

"No," she shouted defiantly as she grabbed at his arm. She turned him around and grabbed his face, pulling his lips to hers, kissing him with enough force to keep him there. He stumbled and fell against her, their chests colliding as one of his hands flew out to the table next to them for stability. She let out a whimper as he shook his head against her, pulling their lips apart.

"Kara, stop, please. You're making this too hard." His eyes were closed, but she could still see the tears threatening to escape at the corners. "I have to go," he said. He didn't look at her again as he turned and left the apartment, the door slamming loudly behind him.

Kara just stared at the closed door.

What the hell just happened?

She'd had a plan. A well thought out plan. This did not follow the plan.

She thought she was confused about her feelings before. Now she was sure about her feelings for Mon-El, but she had no idea where they stood.

She felt the tears still rolling down her cheeks and she let out a sob. This is exactly why she didn't want to give in to him; this pain in her chest, this feeling gripping at her throat. This is precisely what she was afraid of: him changing his mind on her; him pushing her away.

She supposed that it was her fault. He was right. All these weeks she'd been pushing the thought of him out of her mind and now he was tired of waiting and so he was pushing her out of his. She guessed it was only fair. She didn't like it, but it was fair. She couldn't keep doing this to him; making up excuses, then being angry at him for moving on with his life.

She leaned heavily against the table next to her, needing the support more than anything right now. Now where did they stand? Were they still friends? How could they continue on ignoring this giant thing hanging over their heads? Her elbows fell onto the table top as her head fell into her hands.

She had lost her chance. She had ruined everything, and she had no idea what to do about it.

He'd screwed up. He had just lost his chance. He had ruined everything.

Mon-El stood outside her door, his forehead leaning on the wood, rolling back and forth against it.

She'd finally said she had felt the same way. For months he had tried to hide how he felt about Kara; to suppress the emotions that had been building up inside of him. He had kept it all to himself and it was slowly driving him crazy.

He finally had her calling him over, pressing herself up against him, their lips fused together and he had pushed her away?

What in Rao's name was wrong with him?

He was scared. That's what. He was scared to feel what he was feeling. Before he had thought it was all one sided; he liked her and she wasn't interested. Her actually having feelings for him back made this real; it made this possible. They could actually be together, but then, he had something to lose.

His head rose from the door and he stared at it. But he could face his fears and easily just go back inside…

He still saw her eyes in his mind. They were so bright, so confident, so sure. And then they were teary and red-rimmed and it was like lead shot into his chest.

He didn't want to do that to her. He shouldn't have done that to her.

She was pulling at his jacket, fingers gripping so tight that it felt like she was near begging. He didn't want to do that to her. She didn't deserve that. She was too strong for something like that.

She was scared. She was obviously scared. If her speech had said anything it was that she never let herself feel this way about someone; not fully. She never let herself get so attached to a person in that way for the mere fact that she was so busy being needed by National City.

And unintentionally, he was trying to take her away from that so that she would focus all her attention on him; on his needs.

What an asshole.

His hand reached for the doorknob, turning and pushing the door back open.

A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! Please leave some love if you have the time!

Twitter: _ashleymaria_