Chapter 1
Even though she had just finished her fifth year at Hogwarts, seeing the magnificent walls of the castle disappear behind the mountains as the train made its way along the familiar path to Kings Cross, caused Lily's stomach to churn. Even with the intense stress she had from her classes and naturally, teenage drama, she still didn't want to leave it all behind. Mainly for the fact that she knew what lay waiting for her the moment she stepped off the train.
From the time she found out she was a Witch, Lily's sister, Petunia, had decided she wanted nothing to do with Lily and her new lifestyle. She would make sure Lily knew how repulsed she was by the whole situation as well. Frequently referring to her sister as a freak and secluding her from every social event in her life. In the beginning Lily couldn't understand it. Petunia had always been the brave older sister who Lily had looked up to. She was a top student in school. She was beautiful with her silky brown hair and even though she was pale, her skin was so fair that it didn't matter. In Lily's eyes, Petunia had everything. But as years went on, Lily saw that she apparently didn't have everything and because of that, she also noticed Petunias anger towards the things she didn't have. Of course that one thing she didn't have, was Magic.
Then there was the situation with Lily's father. It had begun in her third year, but instead of going away like the doctors had said it would with the treatments, the cancer had grown worse and spread over the years. When Lily had returned home for Christmas earlier in the year, he seemed to be doing better. However immediately after she returned to school, she received an owl from her mother informing her that her father was back in the hospital and his condition had been worse than he let on. She wanted to do anything in her power even attempting to speak to Dumbledore about giving her father a potion or two to help, but it was still considered magic in front of muggles and it wasn't allowed.
Lily's mother was always the high spirited one within the household, even after Lily's father had become ill. But when he returned to the hospital after Christmas, her mother had lost her glow. From that point on, Lily went from receiving letters weekly from her mother, to maybe once a month if she was lucky. But even those letters were short and only told of her fathers condition. With her father in the hospital, Lily's mother took on the weight of work to pay for the household and hospital bills. With her main job as a Secretary at a law firm, she also took on extra hours as a waitress at a local diner. When she wasn't working multiple shifts throughout the day, she was back in the hospital at her husbands side.
Lily knew for the most part, that she may be home alone for a good portion of her summer with her family either ignoring her or in the hospital, but at least she had her friends this summer right?
"I honestly don't think she heard a single word you said." Celia laughed, looking up from her magazine at Lily, who was completely zoned out, staring out the window.
Celia McCart was extremely bright, but a rather shy Pure blood Witch. However, to the people she knew, she was never afraid to speak her mind. With her long brown hair and hazel eyes, she was extremely comfortable with herself, but was never one for stepping out of her comfort zone to make friends.
A large scowl had grown on Marlene's face as she realized Celia was right. Marlene McKinnon for the most part, was the average dumb blonde. However, with her bleach blonde curls and deep green eyes, she was one of the girls Lily envied the most. No matter how stupid a comment Marlene made, she could still get any guy she went after.
"Lily!" Marlene yelled as she began shaking Lily's shoulder violently. Lily was quickly pulled from her thoughts as she held out her hand to prevent her head from smashing into the window.
"Merlin! What Mare?" With a pleased smile on her face now that she had gotten Lily's attention, she released her arm and adjusted herself in her seat to have a better angle to talk.
"What I had been saying, before Celia pointed out you were rudely ignoring me." A glare had formed in her eyes as she spoke. "Was that my parents and I are spending the summer in Paris at their friends house and they said that you guys could come with us!"
Lily's thoughts began to race again as she could feel her mouth pulling into a smile. She had always dreamed of going to Paris and she had been saving her money forever so she knew she would have shopping money.
"A summer away from Petunia. That just sounds like a dream come true!" Lily sighed happily thinking of how relaxing of a summer it would be.
"So do you think you can go?" Marlene laughed looking back and forth between the two girls.
"All I would of been doing this summer is deal with family gatherings. Im in!" Celia remarked as she threw down her magazine and glanced over at Lily.
"I don't see why I wouldn't be able to. I mean I doubt my parents would obje..."
But Lily stopped before she could even finish her sentence. Of course her parents wouldn't object, but how could she even consider going to another country at a time like this? Her mother was under enough stress as it was! She didn't need her daughter running off to a foreign country for an entire summer without her. Lily didn't even want to think about the things that could possibly happen to her father this summer, and if she was in Paris and nowhere close to him, it would eat away at her if things turned for the worst while she was gone.
"Lily?" Marlene groaned as she rapidly waved her hand in front of Lily's eyes. "I don't think I can go." Her voice had dropped to almost a whisper. "There are a lot of things going on with my family this summer that I don't think my parents would let me miss." Lily lied, as she made sure not to make eye contact with either of them.
Even though her father being sick was an extremely big thing in her life, she had never seen it as something she should inform Celia and Marlene about. She always believed that as long as things weren't to the point where her father was on his deathbed, then everything would turn out for the better and he would gain back his health eventually.
"But it wouldn't be the same without you Lily!" Celia complained as she leaned forward trying to meet Lily's gaze.
"Yeah! Who's going to make sure we don't do anything stupid?" Marlene asked, laying her head on Lily's shoulder.
"Im sorry. Did you just say we?" Celia angrily questioned, cocking an eyebrow as she glared at Marlene.
"Fine. Who's going to make sure I don't do anything stupid?" Marlene mumbled as she leaned back against the seat, crossing her arms and pouting at Celia.
"I really wish I could. But there's just so much going on at home. I cant." Lily remarked as she uncomfortably shifted in her seat. "Im sorry."
"But Lily!" Marlene began to whine. But at that point Lily had stood up and begun walking towards the compartment door.
"Lil? Where are you going?" Celia asked as Lily's hand began sliding the door back.
"I have to speak with Severus." She quickly made her way out of the compartment, not even waiting for the others objections to her leaving.
From the moment she shut the door behind her, she could feel the weight leave her shoulders. She felt guilty not telling them, but after leaving the compartment it wasn't as much in her face and she could breathe. She slowly made her way by each compartment, glancing in each window in search of a familiar face.
It wasn't until she had almost reached the back of the train, when she found the face she was looking for. However, it was accompanied by a few others that she really didn't want to deal with at the moment. As she reached for the handle, Lily could easily see Severus pinned to the corner of the compartment ceiling. But standing in the center of the compartment, were Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Both were Gryffindors in Lily's year and both had been making her childhood friends life a misery from the moment they all arrived at Hogwarts their first year.
"Agrippa! I figured this would all stop for a bit when Potter got suspended until summer, but clearly you just wont let that happen will you Sirius!" Lily shouted as she pulled back the compartment door with force.
"Well hullo Evans! Didn't realize you were still Snivellus' knight in shining armor after the whole incident by the lake." Sirius began to laugh as he lowered his wand, causing Severus to fall from the wall onto the floor. Sirius Black, extremely handsome, but of course he knew it too. With his foggy grey eyes and deep black hair, there wasn't a girl in Hogwarts who couldn't deny his looks.
Lily cringed at the fact that Sirius mentioned the past incident. She pushed the memories to the back of her mind but she could still feel it in the pit of her stomach that he was right.
"We've put that behind us!" She lied as she rushed over to help Severus off of the floor, but as she touched his arm, he quickly pulled away glaring at her.
"Well clearly Snively over here, doesnt see the same way you do." Peter pointed out as he leaned back against the doorway. Peter was nothing like Sirius. With his light brown hair and lack of height and muscle, it was curious seeing the pair of them together. But both of them, along with two others, were the closest of friends and had been for as long as anyone could remember.
Sirius began to laugh as he patted his friend's shoulder and nodded towards the hallway. "We'll let you two settle this little feud on your own."
The two quickly slid back the door and rushed out into the hallway, allowing the door to roll and click shut behind them. As the door clicked shut, Lily immediately turned to Severus. She was shocked to still see his brown eyes glaring at her through the strands of sleek, black hair, hanging in his face.
"Why are you angry with me?" She scoffed as she sat down across from him. Severus leaned back against his seat, continuing to glare.
"We had an agreement Lily! You weren't going to do this anymore!" He spat at her. Lily jumped back in her seat, not expecting the sudden out burst from him.
"You were pinned to the ceiling! What did you expect me to do? Sit outside with my face pressed against the glass until Sirius was done throwing you around?" She looked to him for an answer, but all he did was sneer and shake his head.
"I can fight my own battles, Lily!" Frustrated, Lily stood up and made her way to the door.
"You've never treated me the same since that day at the lake." She mumbled quietly.
"Lily, I told you I was sorry for the whole name thing! I didn't mean it!" He yelled, throwing his arms in the air. But by that point, she had spun around and stormed over to him.
"One doesn't just call their oldest friend a mudblood in front of a crowd and claim they didn't mean it Severus Snape!" As Lily stared down at him, she expected to see some sort of sympathy in his eyes. Something that would prove to her that he still wanted their friendship to last. But as she looked into his eyes, all she could make out was pure anger.
"But then again, maybe I was never a friend to you after all." Lily whispered, but it was just loud enough for him to hear.
"Lily..." Severus had begun to speak, but Lily held her hand up to him and shook her head. Dropping her hand, she walked to the door, quickly rolling it opened and stepping out before Severus could manage another word.
She continued to make her way down the train hallway, towards the very back in search of an empty compartment where she could spend the rest of the ride in peace. Luckily for her, there were a few to choose from.
As the door shut behind her, Lily closed her eyes and leaning against it, slid to the floor. The thoughts she had been pushing to the back of her mind for the past hour, rushed into her head and before she knew it, the tears that had been pricking at the back of her eyes, pushed their way out before she could even attempt to stop them.
Severus had been there for her from the moment she had even realized magic existed. He had helped her through one of the hardest times in her life. She was lost in a new world, and the only person she used to trust, abandoned her. But suddenly, there was Severus, completely understanding of everything she was going through and wanting to help! Through everything he was there to keep her strong and when the other kids picked on him for being a little awkward, she stood up for him and was at his side to cheer him up.
But apparently the way she saw it, wasn't the way Severus saw it, and it took her five years and an extreme public embarrassment to find that out.
Her stomach was still churning from Sirius mentioning the incident earlier and as she let the terrible nightmare return to her mind, her stomach began to do backflips.
Spring was Lily's favorite time at Hogwarts. With the fresh flowers blooming after being hidden beneath the snow, and the air still cool, but not as frigid as the winter, there was no reason for her not to love it. It was one of the warmer days and many of the students had made their way outside to the lakes shores to relax in the fresh air. Lily and Celia had taken up a spot at the lakes edge, watching the water and the students around them. It would have remained a peaceful day if other guys would have just left Severus alone, But sadly that could never be the case.
Lily began to glance around as she heard the sound of chanting drift through the air. She didn't think much of it until out of the corner of her eye, she saw a pair of legs high up in the air by the old beech tree. As she quickly turned her gaze to see what was happening, she found her body immediately jumping up and rushing over as she realized the pair of legs belonged to Severus.
"For Merlins sake!" She shouted as she made her way around the bushes to see who the culprit was. Of course she wasn't surprised when she caught sight of the idiot. His deep black mess he called hair on the top of his head and his crooked sneer as he looked up at Severus laughing, was one Lily couldn't mistake for anyone other than James Potter.
"Who wants to see me take off Snively's trousers?" He shouted as the crowd that had formed chanted around him. James was about to wave his wand when Lily reached out grabbing his wrist before he could do so.
"What is wrong with you Potter?" She snapped as she threw his wrist down. "Evans! Come to save little ol' Snivellus again are we?" James laughed looking Lily up and down.
"Just put him down you prat!" She said looking up at Severus to see his face was becoming red as the blood rushed down. Potter began to smirk even more and Lily knew it was definitely not a good sign.
"So here's how this is going to work Evans. I'll let Snively down, if you go on a date with me."
Before she could control it, Lily found herself burst out laughing. "Is that a joke, Potter? That will never happen!"
At that remark, the smile on Potters face vanished and Severus dropped to the ground with full force. "Your loss." The anger in his voice was small, but began to build as he spoke to Snape. "You're lucky Evans was here to save your sorry arse again!" James had turned and begun to walk away when Severus pushed himself up to face Potter.
"I don't need help from some stupid mudblood!" James froze in his tracks and suddenly Severus was back in the air. James had immediately turned and rushed to Snape and was in his face. "Howdare you!" No one there was very focused on what James was going to do to Snape, but more interested in Lily's reaction.
So much pain had suddenly built up within Lily at that moment that if she let out the smallest breath, she knew the tears welling up in her eyes would go. She watched for a few moments as James screamed in Severus' face, but suddenly found the strength to speak as he pointed the wand in Snapes face.
"Potter dont!" Everyone froze and James quickly turned to Lily.
"But Lily he..." She quickly cut off James.
"If he doesnt want my help or to be my friend then thats fine." She turned to walk away, but suddenly James was at her side.
"Lily I can take care of him." But something inside of her snapped.
"Why? Do you think just because you bully him more he'll take back what he said and I'll date you!" He looked down at his feet as Lily glared at him.
"I wouldn't date you even if I only had a choice between you and the Giant Squid! You started all of this so don't act like the innocent party here! Im done with both of you!" She yelled as she stormed away leaving an awe struck crowd behind her.
Her eyes were completely blurred as the memory flashed through her mind bringing back all of the pain. It took Severus until the week before break to even get Lily to acknowledge him again. As for James Potter, they still hadn't spoken. About a month after the whole situation, he began dating Deirdre Sinclair, a slaggy Ravenclaw who had been after him for years. When the news of their relationship reached Lily she couldn't of been happier. It meant he definitely had no excuse to go out of his way to speak with her and so she had all the time in the world to never speak to James Potter.
As the pain started to subside, Lily made her way off the floor to the bench by the window and rested her head against the glass, watching the scenery pass as the train brought her home. Maybe she did need a break from Hogwarts after all.