Eighteen years ago, in preschool, was when we met. We were so innocent at that time. I came from a rich family, the Heartfilia's. I was always silent at the preschool I attended. People were afraid to associate with me because of my high status… but there was one boy who was always in the middle of the crowd. He stood out due to his distinct pink hair and weird scaly scarf, and was very sociable in general… The total opposite of me. He was like the sun actually, brightly shining everywhere.
His name was Natsu Dragneel, a commoner.
I always yearned to be like him, but whenever I got close to anyone, they would run away from me, frightened. No one dared to make friends with someone like me. But one day… that certain pink head walked over to me as I sat by myself in a corner during playtime.
He went up to me all the sudden one day and stuck his hand out to me. "Hi!" he said. "I'm Natsu! What's your name?"
I stared at him, confused. What's with him? I thought to myself. I wasn't used to people talking to me, so I was a bit awkward as predicted. "Lu-Lucy…" I said. "Lucy Heartfilia…"
"So it was Lucy, huh?" he said as if he was trying to figure out my name for a long while. "Want to play with me?"
I stared at the ground and glared at him with the corner of my eye. Is he trying to mock me? I thought to myself. "You have plenty of other people to play with, don't you? Why does it have to me?" I said in a rude tone of voice.
Natsu tilted his head a bit, confused, and then gave me a bright smile I had never seen before. My eyes widened. That smile I saw was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. He laughed and put his hand on my shoulder. "Well, none of the other people are Lucy Heartfilia, are they?" he said as if it was obvious. "I only want to play with Lucy."
My eyes widened. Usually, outsiders would give me a frown, saying, She's part of the upper class, looking down on us commoners. Just ignore her. But… Natsu was different. He didn't care about my social status. Maybe he just went up to me with pity, but either way, he still talked to someone like me. It made me feel… so happy… I was so happy… I can't even find words to describe how happy I was. For the first time, I felt like I could be accepted.
We played a lot in preschool, and soon, we even became best friends. Soon, I was able to learn to socialize with my classmates, and slowly, they stopped being afraid of me. They accepted me as one of them, regardless of my social status. And it was all because of that single encounter with Natsu.
But soon, it was time for us to separate.
We were sitting in the preschool's playground, on the swings when I talked to him about the new schools.
"Hey… Natsu?" I said. I stopped swinging and looked at the clear blue sky. The sun blinded my eyes as I took a few deep breaths.
"What is it?" he asked.
"You know, we aren't going to be in preschool forever," I said hesitantly.
"I know," he replied, his tone of voice a bit upset. "Where are you going?"
"Father said that I had to go to a private school," I replied. "What about you?"
"Just the public elementary school close by," Natsu shrugged.
I swung my legs back in forth. We had an awkward silence. I could feel my tears gather on the bottom of my eyelid, almost flooding. I wanted to cry. I didn't want to be separated from Natsu. But our social statuses were different. We weren't the same.
"Hey… We'll still be best friends forever, right?" Natsu asked. He looked at me with tears streaming down his face. I remembered how shocked I was. Never had I ever seen him cry until then.
"Of course!" I exclaimed. I hugged Natsu with my tiny arms. "No matter how far apart we are-"
Then, I noticed it. Something wet was dripping down, from my eyes to the tip of my chin. I too was crying. My face seemed like it had just been drenched in my salty tears. Since when was I crying? I wasn't sure. Before I knew it, tears just streamed down my face.
"We'll be together forever, right… Lucy?" Natsu cried.
"Yeah," I replied, crying into his shirt. "Forever and always."
"And… if we are ever really separated… I promise I'll come back for you," Natsu whispered into my ear.
"And I'll wait for you," I replied.
And that was the start of our promise.
So the following year, I was transferred to a private K-8 grade school. Natsu went to a normal public elementary school. It was hard to keep in contact as kindergarteners, but we managed thanks to his kind mother. She allowed me to come over to his house to play after school often since my parents were too busy to pick me up.
However, my parents always disapproved of me playing with Natsu.
"He's a commoner!" they always told me. "You have no time to associate with commoners! If you have such time, go play with the people from the same status!"
But I didn't care what they said. I continued to play with him. However, just as my parents wanted, I lost contact with him, starting first grade. It happened just within seconds.
I visited him after school, running to his house. But instead, all I saw was an empty, lonely house, sitting there, vacant. Outside was a sign saying, in red letters, SALE! on it.
"N-Natsu?" I said in my high pitched voice. I knocked on the door, but no one answered, so I tried opening the door, which was already unlocked, and walked inside. But instead of seeing Natsu greet me like usual, I saw an unknown lady.
"Hello little miss," the lady said with a smile. She kneeled down to reach my eye level, like every adult would do with a child. "Are you lost?"
"N-Natsu?" I said. "Where's Natsu?"
"Oh… You mean the son of the previous owner of the house? They moved away. Didn't you know?" the lady replied. "I'm a real estate worker, selling this house now-"
I just ran out of that house in tears. Just like that, Natsu disappeared from my life. But I never forgot about him… not even once. Every day, without him, it made me feel like my insides were rotting like I was missing someone really important to me. Every day, everywhere, I would dream and think about him. It was just so long… since I heard from him.
"And… if we are ever really separated… I promise I'll come back for you." I remembered what Natsu said to me countless of times. Perhaps he already knew this would happen… But why didn't he tell me? Did he move because his family couldn't afford to live in this city anymore?
I missed him so much… Every day, every hour, every second, I never stopped thinking about him. How was he doing? Was he eating right? Was he healthy? Was he doing fine? Questions like that always stirred my mind.
But one day during the first semester of my eighth-grade year, I went grocery shopping at a small commoner market after school. I had to make dinner for my parents so I began to come to this place a lot more often. It was cheap and affordable for the little allowance my parents gave me.
Salt… Salt… I thought as I looked through the aisles. Where is it? Then I looked up to see that it was all the way on the top shelf. What the hell? I thought. Why would this store put such a needed ingredient in the top shelf of all places?
As a thirteen-year-old, I was five feet tall and compared to the top shelf, I knew for sure it was impossible for me to reach it. I looked around for employees that could help, but as small as a store as this was, of course, there wasn't any.
I gulped as I stared at the salt. I reached my hand as high as possible and tip-toed, but it was still out of reach. I grumbled. Ugh, screw me for being so short-
But my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an arm going over my head to pick up the salt. Slowly, I put my heels back on the ground and looked behind me to thank the stranger. And immediately, my heart stopped as my school bag dropped out of my hands with a loud thud.
"Was this what you were trying to reach for-" The boy stopped in the middle of his sentence and stared at me with the same reaction.
That distinct salmon pink hair. Those jet black eyes. The boy was wearing a black tank top with that scaly white scarf. I knew that there was only one guy who would wear such a thing in this heat.
"N-Natsu…" I muttered to myself. I could feel tears trying to force their way out of my eyes in happiness.
"Lucy," Natsu whispered. Suddenly, he hugged me tight, dropping the salt that he helped me take off the shelf. He wrapped his arms around me so tight that it was hard to breathe. "Oh my god… It's really you, Lucy… Oh my god…"
It took me a few seconds for Natsu to process through my head. I couldn't believe my eyes. Was I just dreaming again? No, I could feel Natsu's body and tears against mine. It was so warm.
"Argh," I cried as tears poured out of my eyes. "Is this real? Is this you…?" I asked as I hugged him tightly. I thought that if I didn't hug him tight enough, he would just disappear and run away from me again.
"Idiot, of course, this is real. Of course, it's me," Natsu said, wrapping his arms around me even tighter. "I told you stupid, didn't I? That I would come back for you-"
"Natsu, you dropped the salt," I suddenly said, interrupting the mood while staring at the ground where the salt spilled. The owner of the store glared at the two of us madly.
"Er… oops?" Natsu said to the owner. "I'll pay for it." He put his hand into his pocket to take out his wallet when suddenly his face went pale.
He glanced back to the owner and then looked at me nervously. "Shoot, I think I left my wallet at home..." he muttered to himself.
I laughed. Natsu didn't change at all. He was still that forgetful guy in preschool. I ended up paying for the spilled salt and all of the other ingredients that I needed to cook for dinner that night. After apologizing to the store's owner, Natsu and I sat outside on a park bench.
"You've gotten a lot taller, Natsu," I said as I looked at him, laughing. He looked about five feet and nine inches or something like that, almost a foot taller than me.
"You too, except like I predicted, you're still pretty short," Natsu sneered.
"You haven't changed, have you?" I said as I glared at him. Calling me short? He must have nerves.
Natsu smiled at me and combed his pink hair with his hands. "Well, I like your height, though." He put his hand over my head and ruffled my hair. "Not too tall, not too short."
I could feel my face flush red.
"You haven't changed either," Natsu laughed. "You still blush so easily."
"Idiot!" I yelled at him, pouting. "I wasn't blushing because of you, jerk! I was just feeling a bit hot. Anyway, where have you been all these years? I missed you, you know."
"I moved to the states because of my dad's job. Sorry for hiding it from you," Natsu replied, scratching his head. "I didn't want to see you cry so I never told you."
"You're a real idiot, aren't you," I said. "Of course, I would cry! Did you know how worried I was when I visited you as a first grader to see that your house was completely empty?!"
"S-Sorry," Natsu said. "But I came back! I live here now!"
"Wait, where do you live now?" I asked.
"At the apartment nearby," Natsu replied. He pointed at the building behind us. "Third floor, room 302."
My eyes widened. That was such a small building. "Why are you living in such a small building? Your old house was even bigger than that!"
"Well, I'm living alone now," Natsu replied. "My parents are still in the United States."
"Eh?" I couldn't believe what I just heard. He came back to Japan, alone? "Why?"
"Well, I did make a promise," Natsu smirked as he said that. "Like saying: I'll come back for you for a certain blond girl."
I used my hand to cover my blush. Ugh, why do I blush so easily, I thought to myself. "Idiot… you didn't have to come all the way here just for me…" I said feeling a bit guilty, but I couldn't help but feel a bit happy too.
"I didn't just come here just for you," Natsu replied. "I also came here for myself, you know. I also missed you, idiot."
A smile just naturally shown on my face. Here he was, right in front of me, sitting next to me like he would also do back when we were little.
Eighth grade, the year Natsu finally fully opened up to me. It was a normal sunny day. We were at the beach, not swimming, just waiting for the sun to set. I looked over at Natsu and noticed that he was spacing out, not normal for him.
I also noticed that his smiles were odd that day. He seemed to always be smiling, yet his eyes looked pained. "Natsu, you shouldn't smile if you don't want to," I said.
Natsu turned to look at me and started laughing. "What are you talking about, Lucy? You're crazy!"
"Again…" I said, glaring at him.
"Woah there," he said. "What's with that glare?"
I stared into his eyes and shook him. "YOU IDIOT!" I shouted as I slammed my forehead into his.
"Ow!" Natsu yelped. "What was that for?!"
"How long do you think I've known you, stupid!" I shouted.
"Uh… Nine years, I think?"
"I can tell whenever you lie to me!" I screamed at him. I began to punch him in the chest. "Why do you always have to pretend to smile and laugh in front of me! Why are you always like this?!" I began to cry as I hit him harder and harder with my tiny fists. "When you pretend to smile like this, it hurts me too you idiot! Jerk! Stupid!"
Natsu just stared at me. "H-How?" he said, stuttering. I could see droplets of salty tears forming under his eyes. His body began to shake, maybe in fear, maybe in shock. "H-How did you know I was-"
I hugged him tightly to calm him down. He usually looked so strong because of his athletic stature, but at that time, he looked more like a child, crying for help. "Idiot! It's okay to cry in front of me, you know! I've known you long enough to-"
Suddenly, Natsu let out a loud wail, like a child. "I-I'm sorry!" he screamed. "I'm sorry, Lucy. I'm sorry…"
That day, I found out more about Natsu's poor income family. It all really made sense, the neighborhood he used lived in with his parents wasn't ever very good either, nor was the apartment he was living in. His mother was a housewife, while his father worked overseas in the states to support the family. But Natsu always hid his loneliness with a smile. He never showed me how much he was actually suffering.
"I'm sorry," he said, crying. "I was afraid. If you saw me crying like this, I was afraid you may have hated me-"
"Why would I hate you, stupid?!" I shouted. "I won't hate you that easily! You know what kind of people I hate?"
"W-What?"
"Those people that hide their feelings and refuse to let them out," I said. "People who always hide their feelings and never open up to anyone, yet are so obviously suffering." Then I pointed to him. "And people who always pretend they are okay when they're not."
"Thanks, Lucy," Natsu said as he cried.
From then on, Natsu and I began to get closer. And soon, I began to notice that I had these weird feelings for him starting the next year, ninth grade. I don't know how. It started when we visited the amusement park together in the summer.
I was at a booth, trying to win this stuffed dragon doll. It was so adorable, but no matter how many times I tried, I couldn't win it.
"Just go buy one at a store Lucy!" Natsu whined. "You're taking forever, you clumsy idiot."
"Shut up!" I replied. I lifted up the toy gun again, attempting to shoot down the dragon doll. "I'm going to get this one no matter what!"
I pressed the trigger and again I missed. I sighed. Maybe Natsu was right. Games like this weren't really my thing anyway.
After a few more tries, I gave up. "Ugh, these things weren't my thing anyway," I grumbled.
"Lucy," Natsu said suddenly. "Go get me some snacks."
"What?" I said, glaring at him. "Why do I have to do something like that?"
Natsu went into his pockets and pulled out a ten dollar bill. "Just go get me a snack or something. I'm hungry. You can buy yourself something too while you're at it, my treat."
Well, if it was his treat, I wouldn't mind buying something for him. So I walked around to find him some random snacks. By the time I came back, half an hour had passed. Hopefully, he didn't get too bored waiting for me. More like, why didn't he go with me? We could've gone together to buy snacks, that idiot.
I walked back to the booth to spot Natsu, waiting at the front with something red in his hand. "Hey, Natsu!" I said. "Sorry! Did you wait long?"
"Um.. yeah," he replied. Suddenly, he shoved the red thing he was holding in my hands. "Here, I won this, but I don't really want it, so you can have it. And uh… I need to use the restroom, so er… See you in a second." And with that, he ran off.
I looked at him, puzzled, and then looked down to see the red thing in my hands. Immediately, I laughed and smiled. It was that stuffed dragon doll I was trying to win earlier. I wondered how did he know that I was trying to win this exact doll or was it just a simple coincidence. I wasn't quite sure but I was happy either way. It was kinda odd, though. Knowing Natsu, he really sucked at games like those.
"Thank you…" I whispered as I hugged the little-stuffed dragon.
And starting then, I noticed that whenever I saw Natsu, my heartbeat would always go up strangely. Could I like him? I kept thinking to myself. But I denied it. There was no way I could like someone like him, I always told myself. Whenever I thought I had the slightest feeling of love towards him, I immediately tried to think up of the worst characteristics of him as fast as possible.
Fourteen-years-old, my birthday. That was the day I finally accepted that I had fallen in love with Natsu. It was on the weekend, at night. I was on my phone, texting a few of my friends, when suddenly, I got a call from Natsu.
Eh? That's odd, I thought to myself. Usually, Natsu would never call me. Even if it was important, he would just text me about it. He just wasn't the type of person to call anyone.
"H-Hello?" I said as I picked up the phone, my heart beating slightly faster than normal.
"Look out your window," he simply said. Then he hung up.
Huh? I was a bit confused, but slowly, I opened my curtain to see that Natsu was outside my house! He waved at me, smiling. "Eh?!" I screamed. Instantly, my face turned red. Quickly, I ran down the stairs, still in my pajamas. My parents stared at me as I ran past them like I was crazy. I threw the door open and ran outside in my pajamas. It was cold, but I didn't care. Natsu was here and that was all that mattered to me.
"W-What are you doing here, Natsu?" I asked him as I panted.
He looked extremely cold. I wondered how long he has been standing in front of my house. More like, if my parents saw that I was still in contact with him, they would freak and try to get rid of him as soon as possible.
"Here, um… let me get dressed and we can go to the park," I said, flustered because I was in my pajamas. "Wait a moment, okay-"
"Here is fine," Natsu interrupted. "How you are dressed is fine too." He held onto his scarf to hide his face for some reason and puffed his warm breath into the air.
"Lucy? What are you doing outside?" I could hear Mother, walking down the stairs to see what was up. I gulped. I had to get Natsu out of here fast.
"Yikes, looks like your mother is coming!" Natsu exclaimed as he rummaged through his pocket and put a small box in my hand. "Uh… Gotta run before she sees me! And happy birthday, Lucy!"
And just like that, he ran off.
I was speechless. I just stood there in the cold, staring at the direction he ran off.
"Lucy? Get inside! It's cold!" my mother exclaimed.
When I walked inside, I ran to my room and laid flat on my bed with the small messily wrapped box in my hand. How did he even know it was my birthday? He couldn't have remembered it since preschool… right? There was no way he would've remembered for so long. Then again, we didn't have any mutual friends besides each other so there was no way he could have found out through one of my friends. I didn't remember telling him either.
I looked at the box and laughed. It was just like him to wrap something so messily. He was never very good at arts and crafts after all.
I unwrapped the box and gasped in awe. Inside was a tiny cute white stuffed keychain bear, with a heart in its arms. Immediately, my heart began to pump crazily and my face was the darkest red it had ever been in years. I don't think love happens when one least expects it. I think it slowly accumulates as one spends time with someone, and for me, it was Natsu Dragneel.
Being in love with my best friend wasn't easy. Er... It was more like hard to hide. For example, even a simple touch on the shoulder got my heart beating. Because of this, Natsu got more and more suspicious of me and irritated in addition to that.
Then, one day, Natsu snapped. We were at a library, studying together after school. It kind of sucked to be in different schools, but Natsu and I always found a way to meet each other secretly.
"Lucy! Help me!" Natsu whispered. "I don't get all these logarithms."
"What problem? Show me," I replied.
He pushed his chair next to mine and leaned into my personal space, "This," he said.
I could feel his hair tickling my shoulder as I showed him the equation for the logarithm. He's too close, I thought to myself.
When I couldn't take it any longer, I pushed Natsu away from me. "You're too close!" I hissed at him, still whispering because we were in the library. "If you're going to ask for help, sit a bit farther away!"
"What's with you these days, Lucy? We aren't even sitting that close!" Natsu replied angrily. "You have been so touchy lately! Like, you won't even let me hold your shoulder or look me into the eye anymore!"
Well, I kind of have a crush on you, and whenever I look at you, my heart kind of beats way too fast for the average rate, so how am I suppose to actually look at you and have you get close to me without me blushing, I thought.
"It's none of your business," I muttered.
"Yes, it is!" Natsu exclaims loudly, forgetting that we were in the library. He slammed his fist down on the table and stood up, knocking down the chair he was sitting on. "The girl I like won't even look me in the eye anymore! Of course, it's my business!" he yelled, so loud that everyone in the library was staring at us.
"What...?" I said, my face red and eyes widened. I blinked a couple of times to see if I was hearing him right.
People around us began to whisper to each other, saying how cute it was to witness a real confession. My face was getting redder and redder by the minute.
"Er... S-Sorry, I uh..." Natsu seemed extremely flustered. He couldn't control a word he was saying, everything was just gibberish. His face was as bright pink as his hair. "Er... I need a drink of water! S-See you later Lucy!" he shouted as he grabbed his stuff and ran.
"W-Wait! Natsu!" I yelled. Quickly, I packed my bag and ran after him. Unfortunately, he was quite athletic. I knew that there was no way for me to catch up with him, so shouting was the only way.
I stopped running and took a deep breath. "Me too!" I screamed as loud as my lungs could yell. "Natsu, I also like you!"
Instantly, he turned around and stared at me. Quickly, I caught up to him, panting loudly.
"S-Say that again, Lucy?" Natsu said. "Did I hear wrong...? I think my ears might have some problems."
"I like you," I said again. "The reason why I couldn't look you into the eye, the reason why I couldn't have you coming close to me... it was all because I liked you!"
Natsu just stared at me. It seemed like it took a while for all the information to process through his head. "S-So y-you like me?"
I stared at the ground, my face red as a tomato. "Y-Yeah," I replied.
Suddenly, Natsu walked over to a nearby steel pole, grabbed it, and knocked his forehead on it. Instantly, he yelped in pain as he grasped his forehead.
"N-Natsu?!" I cried. "What are you doing?!"
"Ow... That hurt..." he muttered. "Which means... this isn't a dream!"
Then, he hugged me tight. "Oh, my god... This is all real..." He hugged me so hard like he was afraid that I would run away any minute. "You have no idea how long I have dreamed of this…"
"Huh?"
"I liked you, even before I talked to you in preschool. Watching you sit by yourself in the corner, it was ever since then I liked you," Natsu suddenly confessed to me.
And just like that, we started dating. With each date we had, I fell in love with him more and more. I thought that nothing would ever stop our love. Until my parents found out.
It was about two years and a half after we started dating. We were just walking around in a mall after a movie. After each date, Natsu could never send me home. After all, if my parents ever saw him even near their house, they would freak. But I had no idea I would see them there.
Our hands were locked with each other. Natsu was now seventeen. I was sixteen because his birthday was before mine. Really, we were born in the same year.
"That movie was just hilarious!" I exclaimed.
"And when that girl threw up-" Natsu burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard that he couldn't speak.
"I know right" I laughed along. "She was so-"
"Lucy…?" I heard a familiar voice behind me.
Natsu and I turned around and gasped. My eyes widened. Immediately, the two of us let go of each other's hands. "M-Mother?" I said. "W-What are you-"
"What are you doing with him?" Mother exclaimed, so loud that people stared at the three of us. Mother, seeing that other people were staring, glared at me. "You're coming home with me now." She grabbed my wrist and dragged me along with her.
"W-Wait! Natsu!" I screamed.
"Lucy!" he screamed back.
But my mother's iron grip was impossible to get out of. She dragged me into her car and threw me into it, closing the door shut. Then she got into the driver's seat. "When we get home, we're going to have a long talk about this with your father," she said before she started the engine.
When we got home, Mother grabbed my wrist again and threw me into the wall of my room. Father followed her.
"What's going on?" my father said.
"Your daughter, she has been meeting with that commoner boy, Natsu Dragneel," my mother said with a disapproved tone.
My father clicked his tongue. "Lucy. We told you that he wasn't a good influence-"
"Just because he's poor?!" I screamed back. My father's eyes widened. Usually, I never dared to speak against my parents, but for Natsu, I would do anything to keep him by my side.
"Just because Natsu is a commoner, he's a bad influence?!" I yelled. Irritation was building up in me. "He, like you and me, is a human too, you know! So stop treating him like some alien!"
"Lucy, I understand how you feel," Father said, trying to calm me down. "But a boy like that would just ruin the Heartfilia family line-"
"You don't understand, Father!" I yelled back. "If you really understood, then you would accept my relationship with him!"
"Listen to your father," my mother said sternly as she glared at me. Whenever she glared, I knew I had to stay quiet. It was her way of silently telling me to shut up.
"I might as well tell you this now, Lucy," Father said. "I meant to tell you when you got older, but you are already engaged."
"Natsu and I are-" Suddenly, I stopped. "W-Wait what…?" I stammered. "E-Engaged?"
"As a Heartfilia, you should know well of our reputation," Mother explained. "If you get married to a lowly commoner, what would people think of us? As your parents, we have to make sure you marry the right man-"
"Who am I even engaged with?!" I said eyes widened. "Do I even know who he is?!"
"Of course," my father replied. "You remember Sting Eucliffe, don't you?"
Sting Eucliffe was my father's childhood friend's son. He was two years older than me. We grew up together until he moved for his parent's work at Canada, but to me, Sting felt more like a sibling than a lover. We told each other everything. He was also one of the only people who knew about my relationship with Natsu
"N-No way!" I screamed. "You got to be kidding me! I won't marry him!"
"Lucy, I understand that you are shocked but-"
"I love Natsu, Father!" I shouted. "I'll never love anyone else!"
"I'm sorry, Lucy," Father replied. "It's family rule."
Right after he said that, I couldn't stand it anymore. I just ran out of that house and cried in the winter night. Natsu was all I could think about. I didn't want to become anyone else's bride. Sting was only a friend, nothing more.
I sat on a swing and swung on it for a while. Then I looked through my phone's contacts and found Sting's number. Immediately, I tapped it and called him.
"Hello? Lucy?" he answered.
"S-Sting… Help…" I said.
"Woah, what's wrong?!" he exclaimed. "What happened?!"
"D-Did you know?" I asked him. "My parents just told me now. We… We're engaged, Sting…"
"W-What?!" he exclaimed. He paused on the phone to think about what I just said. "You got to be kidding me! Let me ask my parents about this!"
"Thanks, that would help," I replied, wiping my tears. I hung up and then looked through my contacts again. As I scrolled, I saw Natsu's contact and stared at his profile picture. "Natsu," I whispered. I held my phone close as I cried. "I'm sorry…"
"Lucy?" Suddenly, I heard a voice say.
I looked up and gasped to see who it was.
"N-Natsu?" I replied.
"I knew you would be here." he said. The park I was in was the one that we made the promise of staying together forever as kids. He walked towards me and sat on the swing next to me. "You're crying. What did your parents say about us…?" He took off his scarf and put it around my neck. His warmth just felt so comforting.
At first, I wasn't sure if I should tell him. What if we had to break up? But then I thought about it. I didn't want to lie to him. If he wanted to let me go because of this, I would not blame him.
"Natsu," I said firmly. "I found out that I was already engaged to someone."
"W-What?"
"My childhood friend Sting and I were engaged since birth. My parents just told me," I replied. I tried to hold back my tears, but they kept streaming down my face.
"Lucy…"
"I don't want to get married to him, Natsu," I said, hiding my tears with the palms of my hands. "I want to be with you!"
"Does this Sting person want to get married to you?" Natsu asked.
"Of course not!" I exclaimed. "We were raised together when we were young. But we were so close that we are more like siblings than anything more!"
All of this was so sudden that it was hard for Natsu and me to talk about. Natsu just sat next to me, hugging me tight. None of us said anything. We just sat there, crying together, just like we did as kids.
After all of that, Sting called me back to confirm our engagement we never agreed on. But both of us were weak compared to our parents. We couldn't fight against them.
Why must family social statuses be so important? Was it so important that a pair of people could not even follow their hearts?
After all of that, Natsu and I still met each other secretly. None of us could bear to break up with each other. We began to be more careful about choosing our dates. And also, we couldn't meet after school as much anymore because my mother hired a spy my age to watch over me at my school. This went along for about another year until our last date.
On that day, I got a call from Natsu and answered it.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey!" he replied. "I was wondering if you were free to walk around the lake nearby for today?"
"Yeah, I'm free," I replied happily.
"Okay, see you there in an hour then?"
"Okay, see you there."
I changed clothes as fast as possible, wearing a red plaid shirt with a gray t-shirt underneath and a skater skirt. For shoes, I wore my red Converse. Then, I ran out my house and took a bus to the lake. I wanted to get there as early as possible. But when I got off the bus, I saw Natsu, also early.
"Eh? You're here early?" I said, surprised.
"You're early too," Natsu laughed.
"Well, I didn't want you to wait," I said as I played with a lock of my hair.
"I didn't want you to wait either," Natsu replied, scratching his head.
The two of us laughed. "Well, should we go now?" I said as I intertwined my fingers into his.
"Yeah," Natsu replied.
As we strolled around the lake, I noticed that Natsu was acting strangely. The way he smiled just didn't seem to sit right with me.
"Natsu, what's wrong?" I said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"I told you not to lie to me about your feelings, right?" I said. "So what's wrong?"
Natsu smiled at me. "You know me so well, Lucy."
"Of course, I do!" I replied.
Natsu let go of my hand and stood behind me to hug me from behind. He nuzzled my cheek as we stared at the beautiful view. "As I thought, I love your height," he said. "It's the perfect cuddle height."
My face turned red immediately as I put my hands on his arm. He was so warm compared to the weather that day.
"So what's wrong?" I asked.
"You know, my parents called me last night," he began to explain. "And… apparently, my father's company is starting to go bankrupt."
"W-What?" I said. Immediately, I turned around to face him, shocked. "What do you mean?"
"I mean just what I said," he replied. "And as an eighteen-year-old adult, they asked me to go back to America to help them get the company back on track."
"I-I see," I said.
Natsu faced me seriously. He put his forehead on mine so he could force me to stare into his eyes. "Lucy, you are my priority. So if you don't want me to go, I won't go and I'll stay here with you," he said.
I thought about it for a while. Of course, I wanted him to stay with me! But I also knew that with Natsu's grades, he could definitely save his father's company. I also remembered his kind mother and gulped. As much as I wanted Natsu to stay with me, I couldn't be selfish. I had to let him go.
"You should go, Natsu," I said. I tried to cover my sadness with a smile. "Your father needs you."
Natsu softly smiled at me after I said that and hugged me tight, putting his head on top of mine. "Thank you, Lucy," Natsu said.
To be honest, I was scared. I didn't want Natsu to leave me again. I was worried that he would disappear, just like he did in first grade. That feeling when I came to Natsu's house to see that he was gone as a mere kid. That feeling that Natsu was gone. I didn't want to experience it again. But I knew that his parents needed him more than me.
"I'll make the promise again," he said to me as if he read my mind. "And… if we are ever really separated… I promise I'll come back for you," he said, quoting himself from preschool.
"And I'll be waiting," I said, quoting myself also. I tried to hold back my tears, but the tears just flowed out of my eyes anyway. I have always been bad at hiding my tears after all.
Natsu lifted his chin off of my head and for the first time, kissed me on my forehead. "I love you, Lucy."
"I love you too, Natsu," I replied, hugging him tight.
The next day, Natsu went on his flight back to the States. I couldn't see him off because I knew my parents would be suspicious if I went to the airport. They knew about his father's bankruptcy through their own sources after all. Sometimes, I wondered how they even knew about practically everything in my life.
The day he left on the airplane, I sat on the same swing we always sat on as preschoolers. It was the place we first made our promise. The whole time, I was staring at the sky, crying. Then, I would look down at my hands. In my hands, I held a certain key: Natsu's. He told me that he intended to come back to Japan, and to prove this, he entrusted me with his key to his apartment.
Ding! I heard my phone notification go off.
I typed my password on my phone to see a text from Natsu.
I love you, the text from Natsu read. And I will always keep our promise.
When I saw the text, I smiled. I love you too… and I promise that I'll wait for you, I texted back. Little did I know, that would be the last text I would ever receive from Natsu. If only I told him to stay in Japan… If only I was selfish… This… He… He wouldn't have… Argh…
Twelve hours later, it was six in the morning, a Monday. It was a school day. Natsu should've arrived at the United States by now, but when I checked my phone, no text messages appeared in my notifications.
"What is he doing?" I muttered to myself. He promised me that once he arrived at the airport he would text me, but what was taking him so long? I put my phone in my pocket and decided to check it later. Maybe he's just busy, I thought to myself.
I decided to make breakfast and then check my phone later, but I couldn't help but check it every ten seconds.
Hey, are you there yet? I ended up texting him first. But then, my phone sent me an automatic text saying:
T-Mobile: We are sorry. Your text has been interrupted by poor connection. Please try again.
I tried texting the same words over and over again, but no matter what, I got the same text from T-Mobile over and over again. I grumbled. What was wrong with my phone? I tried texting one of my friends and it seemed to get to her normally, so why did my texts with Natsu not get through? From then, I could sense that there was something terribly wrong.
I looked at the clock. It was seven. Oh shoot, I thought. I have to get to school. Quickly, I put on my uniform and caught the bus to go. It was just a normal school day until my phone rang during my English class.
The teacher and the whole class stared at me. My heart jumped. It has to be from Natsu! I thought excitedly, but since I was in class, I would have to turn the phone off and call him back later. But when I checked my phone to turn it off, I saw Natsu's Mom on my screen instead.
That's odd… I thought to myself. Why would she call me?
"Um… Teacher?" I said, raising my hand. "May I leave the classroom and take this call? It looks very important."
The teacher looked a bit annoyed at me, but nodded and allowed me to take it anyway. Immediately, I ran out of the classroom and answered the call.
"Hello?" I said.
Instead greeting me, all I could hear was cries from Natsu's mother.
"H-Hey! W-What's wrong Mrs. Dragneel?!" I shouted in alarm. "Are you okay-"
"N-Natsu… Natsu has…" But Natsu's mother was crying too hard. I couldn't understand a word she was saying.
"Mrs. Dragneel, you have to calm down!" I said. "I can't understand a word you're saying!"
"N-Natsu got off the plane. B-But once he stepped off, he was i-instantly crushed by one of the airport's cars…" she began. "A-And he was instantly… k-killed."
"W-What…?" I stammered. All my senses seemed to shut down at that moment.
"Natsu has passed away," she said.
After that, I couldn't utter a word. Tears couldn't even come out of my eyes due to my shock.
The man I loved was gone.
"Lucy…?" Natsu's mother said to make sure I was still there.
"Y-You're lying… r-right?" I said, forcing a laugh. "T-This isn't funny, Mrs. Dragneel."
"I-I wish it was all a lie," she replied. I could hear her tears across the phone. "I-I'm so sorry, Lucy."
Immediately, I dropped my phone. I heard my screen crack, but I didn't care. Tears seemed to explode out of my eyes. Slowly, I walked back inside my classroom, the whole class staring at me as I walked inside.
I couldn't even think anymore. My world just seemed to lose color.
"Lu-Lucy?" my teacher said. "Are you all right? What happened?"
"T-Teacher, I'm going to leave early today," I said. Then, right after I said that, I ran out of my classroom.
"Lucy!" the teacher shouted. But I ignored him. All I cared about was Natsu. I had to see Natsu. I didn't even have time to grab my phone off the floor. I just left it there.
The people around me in the streets stared at me like I was crazy. I was crying hard and running after all. I didn't really blame them for thinking odd of me.
"Natsu… Natsu… Natsu…" I said to myself over and over again. I grabbed his apartment key tightly as I ran. I had never run so fast in my life. I couldn't believe what Natsu's mother told me. I refused to believe it. There was no way Natsu could be dead.
When I finally reached Natsu's apartment, I put the key in the hole and opened it. Slowly, the door creaked open. Inside, it was dark and empty.
It was just like how I felt when I was in first grade.
He disappeared again.
I walked into his apartment. Everything just felt so nostalgic. Everywhere I looked were memories of Natsu. As I walked around, I went into his bedroom and saw a camcorder on top of his drawer. What's this? I thought to myself.
I sat on his bed, laid on it, and turned on the camcorder. On the small screen, I saw Natsu's face.
"E-Eh? Natsu?" I said, surprised. What is this?
Hey, Lucy! Natsu greeted in the video. He was in the same room as me right now. He was sitting on his bed. If you are watching this, then you probably opened the door to my apartment cause' you missed me so much, huh?
You idiot, I thought as I laughed. Natsu knew me so well.
I'm making this recording just in cause you are crying, crybaby Lucy! Natsu laughed. My heart beat. Tears poured out of my eyes again. What's with him?
You didn't forget our promise, did you? Natsu said. 'And… if we are ever really separated… I promise I'll come back for you,' he said, quoting himself from preschool.
"You're a real idiot, you know…" I said out loud.
Let me guess, Natsu said, scratching his chin. You probably just said that I was a real idiot just now out loud, right?
I froze. Natsu knew me so well.
I bet you just froze because I knew you so well, didn't you? Natsu snickered, winking at me.
I gulped. He knew me so well that it was almost creepy.
I just made this recording so I could tell you this in person once again, Natsu said. He looked directly into the camera. I could feel my heartbeat when he did that. I love you, Lucy. Forever and always, he said with his signature goofy smile.
And right after that, the recording shut off.
Immediately, I began to cry. "Me too, Natsu," I cried. I took the camcorder and hugged it to my stomach. It was my last gift from Natsu. "I love you too. Forever and always."
I hugged the pillow of his bed, which still had his comforting scent and replayed the recording over and over again. I could never get sick of his words. Suddenly, I felt a piece of paper stick out of his pillow case.
"Huh?" I said aloud. "What's this?"
I slipped the paper out to see a picture of me and him, standing outside of our preschool as four-year-olds. When did I ever take this picture anyway? But when I saw it, I cried so hard. Natsu must have forgotten about the picture and left it there.
At the end, the airline company gave large amounts of money to Natsu's family, in apology for his death, which saved his father's company. But no sum of money could replace Natsu.
Why? Why did Natsu have to die? If only I was more selfish… If only I was selfish enough to tell him to stay here in Japan, he would still be alive. His death… it was all my fault.
His funeral followed a week later. To my surprise, his parents came back to Japan, just bury him. Even though they lived in America, they told me that Natsu looked happier in Japan, so they wanted to bury him in the city I lived in.
"He always told us about how much he loved you, Lucy," his parents always told me. "He loved you the most. You were the light in his life."
But even though they told me that, it didn't make me feel any better. Natsu was gone. No matter how much I loved him, he would never come back to life again. No matter how much I cried, no matter how many people tried to comfort me, there was still no one to fill that void in my heart anymore. His warmth, the nuzzles he always gave me on his cheek, his goofy smile, his comforting large hand… They all left with him.
During his funeral, I tried my best not to cry. Natsu hated it when I cried, so I didn't. Instead, I tried my best to smile the whole time. People at the funeral thought I was heartless, but I didn't care. I knew that Natsu would feel more relaxed if he saw me smile. Knowing him, if I cried, he would probably say, Stop crying, crybaby Lucy! It makes you two times as ugly!
Giving a speech because I was his girlfriend at his funeral was the hardest part. Trying to smile through that speech was just… impossible.
I was in the middle of my speech when I just broke down. "Natsu was the one who saved me," I said aloud. "Without him, I would not have been such a social person. If he weren't with me as a child, I would have still been that silent child sitting in the corner-" But I stopped in the middle of my sentence to feel a tear run down my face.
"Urgh," I groaned, trying to swallow up my tears. But, like the crybaby I was, the more I tried to hide my tears, the more tears poured out of my eyes. Knowing Natsu, at this point, he would have just told me: It's okay… Lucy, just let it out. You don't have to hide it anymore.
I never managed to finish my speech. I just cried for the rest of the funeral. I couldn't hold my tears any longer. I didn't want to accept the fact that Natsu was gone. But he was gone, no matter how much I wanted him alive by my side.
Now I am twenty-two, six years after the incident. And even now, I am still in love with Natsu. His warmth, his touch… I can never forget any of it. Last year, I was married off to Sting, just as my parents wanted me to, but the two of us weren't even in love. Even now, we aren't in love. We just live together. I guess it is because Sting knows very well that to me, Natsu is still my priority.
"You'll get over him," my parents would always say. "He's a dead man anyway. Being in love with a dead man won't fix anything. Spending time with Sting will help you get over it and fall in love with him instead." But no matter what they said, no matter how much time had passed, I was still in love with Natsu.
If only it was a perfect world, Natsu would be here. If only it was a perfect world, Natsu would have completed our promise, and we would have lived happily ever after. If it was a perfect world, we would've gotten married, made a family, and grown old together.
The only person I wanted to marry was Natsu. The only person I wanted to live with was Natsu. The only person I wanted to love forever and always was... Natsu.
Why is it that human life is so easy to take and break to pieces?
Natsu… Our promise to each other… Will it ever be fulfilled? Even now, I am still waiting for you to come back for me. Even now, I still love you.
I stare at my bedroom ceiling and replay the recording on the same camcorder Natsu gave me six years ago, listening to it again. As I listen to his voice, I can feel tears falling out of my eyes. Even though it has already been six years, I still cry whenever I hear his voice through any recording.
"You didn't forget our promise, did you?" Natsu says in the recording.
"Of course not," I say out loud.
"'And… if we are ever really separated… I promise I'll come back for you,'" Natsu says, quoting himself with that unique smile of his… It was that smile that saved me.
"And I'll wait for you."
- End of Our Promise -
This is dedicated to the most important person to me who suffered so much.
Thank you for reading!
~ Metallic Snow