The Pain Felt Like The Cruciatus Curse
Her voice rang out in the Great Hall.
"NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM. YOU DISGRACE-,"
Neville ran out of the room, clutching the Howler. Tears ran down his face in shame. He kept running and made it to the first floor, by the girl's bathroom. Neville halted in front of the door. No one would go in there, right? Who would even come looking for him anyway?
He slipped into the bathroom and went into the nearest stall. He threw the ashes into the toilet, sobbing as he thought about the words his grandmother had said to him.
Disgrace to the family…
Your parents would be so disappointed in you…
That last one had hit Neville hard. He hadn't felt this kind of deep pain before. He slid down the wall of the stall and sobbed into his hands.
The flickering lights comforted him in a way. Everything Gryffindor was bright and cheerful, a bit too bright. This was better. It was calming, but not enough. Neville still hurt. He'd been called many things over the years. Before this Howler, he thought being called a Squib was the worst thing in the world. He wrong, very wrong. His parents had gotten involved in a mistake of forgetting passwords, being locked outside of the common room, and the constant bullying for a distrustful memory.
Neville's parents were supposed to be uninvolved in his messes and clumsiness. His parents were something he cling onto. The two people who loved him no matter what. A part of him lost a part of that. His grandmother knew his parents more than anyone. Maybe they would be disappointed and hate him too. Grandmother knows best, after all.
He sniffled and wiped his eyes on his robe sleeve. He wished he knew how they would react to this terrible, unfixable mistake. Reaching a hand into his pocket, he pulled a slightly wrinkled photograph out. It was his parents. They were smiling, waving, and mouthing the words, "We love you."
Neville stared at the picture. Would they really hate him? He didn't know how his memory became so horrible, but he shouldn't be punished for it. Detention and banned from Hogsmeade? Neville couldn't control his memory.
It wasn't his fault.
He knew this, but the feeling of guilt still slammed around his head. He would always mess up, but he would try his best to fix it.
Neville stood up. He looked at the picture one more time before carefully placing it in his pocket.
He would fix everything.