Special thanks to I. Heart. Hatake. Kakashi for providing the prompts that I can never do justice to.
This is kind of a weird, experimental piece...i've never done anything like this before. Slightly AUish, I suppose, alternating POV between the two characters. Sorry about the dashes, pretend they aren't there. The site is being silly about my formatting, so just pretend they're spaces :[
...Other limited/odd usage of punctuation and hyperactive capitalization was probably on purpose.
Any type of review or constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated :)
Sorry if this is really confusing .;; But thanks for giving it a chance, and enjoy reading! (Maybe...)
-o:o:o:o: Hope is a waking dream :o:o:o:o-
:.:.: There she is.
-
Strange how, when everything is
under control,
under command,
one single person can change
Everything.
-
Strange how, when the world is,
if not right,
logical, at least;
(-solid, sturdy-)
yet the appearance of one girl
is enough to turn that precise, disciplined world
inside OuT.
-
Strange how, one look from brownsugar eyes
can make everything melt away
and your vision is narrowed
on that single, intensely glowing spirit
-
and you long for her
with an aching in your chest,
a sensation you didn't know existed,
that WoN'T Go aWay.
-
and the feeling in your gut tells you
that nothing
will ever be the same
AGaiN.
.:.:.:
-:-
When I look at him
I see:
-
long, soft hair
pale, smooth complexion
lean, hard muscles
(that i cant help being a little envious of)
and those AmAzinG eyes
-
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
his reflect cold ice
pale silver
warm lavender
shimmering opal
vast glaciers
ever drifting
ever changing
who knew there were so many shades of white?
-
frankly, he's more beautiful than i am
out of my league.
-
he's cold
silent
something I find hard to forgive.
so why do i feel so
allured?
-
there's something about him
the way he talks
- - - -walks
every insignificant little thing
that pulls like a MAGNET
at the fiber of my BEIng
and I knew I couldn't turn away.
-:-
:.:.: The way she smiles
-often-
but each time strikes me
harder than the last
-
what i'd say
is something that
-before-
I'd scorn at;
Before
- - the light,
- - - the warmth
- -when the world was a
- bitter, frosty place.
That's what she is to me;
-
- - a ray of sunlight,
- - beaming through the clouds
- - of dull, eVeRyDaY routine
- - something intangible.
-
something that, no matter how you try
a person like i
could never ToUCh.
-
can only watch and admire
from below.
-
from the ground:.:.:
-:-
Can't stop staring
and I force myself to look away
-
at the ceiling
the floor
the window
anYtHIng but him.
-
but disobedient eyes
stray, pulled by
something resembling
gravity
until suddenly, I found myself staring
straight into a familiar gaze...
i vaguely recall snapping my head
in the opposite direction
- - - (gravity defied)
heart pounding, as if i were
a child, doing something bad
-
a rush of emotion hit me like a train.
- - - - embarrassment
why did I act so damned
guilty?
- - - - - chagrin
I was just caught staring
- - - - - shame
I thought I was different from other
ditz brained girls
- - - - - guilt
I cant believe I did that
- - - - - anger
I cannot believe
I did that!
- - - - - AnnoyAnce:
why couldn't he have not looked,
just for a bit longer?
-
and underneath it all, almost buried
by the stream of sensations
was something i'd call
giddiness
-
…he's so dammed pretty!
the room seemed unusually warm all of a sudden.
-:-
:.:.:I could feel someone
watching.
turning,
oh.
-(it's her.)
a badly disguised jerk of the head
and her eyes avOided mine.
-
this surprised me
but I couldn't fight the tiny smile
that TUGged at a corner of my lips-
she was determinedly facing the
opposite direction.
From where i sat
I could see the pink tint to
her neck and cheeks- - and
before i even realized,
my hand was on
the lower half of my own face
covering up the laugh
threatening to break out
-
she was kind of…
-
well,
kind-of really damn cute.
-
thank God everyone's too
occupied to notice our
identical facial colorations:.:.:
-:-
In the past, the term
"love"
was a word regarded
with light contempt. Sure,
i Love
- - - my parents
- - - friends
- - - family
everyone close to me
i love with all my
heart
-
but the kind of 'love' you see
in movies
- - - a man takes a beautiful girl (he barely knows)
carrying her off and away to live
happily.
ever.
after.
.
.
.
What a disgusting concept.
-
I am better than that.
-
I pride myself
for being above silly, girlish…
-
distractions.
meaningless ideals to waste our time.
so what do you call this
feeling?
-
(a distraction, that's what)
-
every glance,
the heart
- - - skips
the stomach
- - - dances
and suddenly,
the mind is on overload
until i'm worn out and ready to
quit.
-
Love shouldn't have to be this hard.
-:-
:.:.: Each fist pounds in time
to the beating mantra
chanting in my
head:
i can't make her
happy
i'm not what she
wants.
being with me will
on-ly-pull-her
down
-down-
(down)
-
i know.
i know.
-
Dammit, i know.
-
but the war of head vs.
heart
is interesting.
- - - (not)
all those years of training
- - - discipline
- - - control
out the window and forgotten
-
Head
(suddenly
clumsy and idle)
-
Heart
(clamoring for attention
when heart-warming presence
comes to noTicE)
-
and this constant battle to control
Body
is exHaUStiNg.
-
yet strangely addicting.
i don't BeLiEvE i
could stop if i
tried.:.:.:
-:-
y'know, it's interesting:
I wouldnt call it love
-yet-
Definitely not Love.
but it's something suspiciously like
falling –
nothing to grasp
on to, no way to be in
control.
that giddy, weightless sensation
(-pretending to have wings-)
until the ground comes up
to crush you, smash you,
and you never soar again.
That oncoming ground is what terrifies me.
-
running
hiding
desperately trying to escape
the inevitable pull towards
the ground,
towards him.
i don't even remember
what i'm running from anymore.
-a quick glance-
(oh. right.)
but i want him.
Want Him.
Need to have him with
a kind of desire,
a kind of pull that
i had never felt
before
-
he mAkes me feel high.
High up above, in the
sky, waiting in
anticipAtion.
Waiting for the
FALL.
-:-
:.:.:Shit.
It's getting harder and harder to
resist.
dreams of her smiles
dominate every waking
moment,
every unconscious
thought.
and i find it
impossible
to ConCENtRatE on
anything else.
she is
contagiously light and
it's all I can do to
resist
the urge to take her,
to hold her delicate, weightless frame
and crush her-
- no -
to bring her solidity-
or to lift me up?
Is ThaT i want?
To depend on another
being to BANISH
this monster of
loneliness?
That she could
penetrate the darkness,
slice through to the
heart, the source of the
ice
the hurt
the doubt
and then what?
perhaps-
perhaps it's just to
Pretend.
to Imagine,
to Pretend that she could possibly,
conceivably
want me.
that something,
someone in this world would
agree to be
mine.
And then i felt a pang of
Guilt.
For I had already began
allowing myself to
hope.
for completion,
balance.
for HAppinEsS.
For a future.
For other such
non-attainable things.
Shit.:.:.:
-:-
Dreams of
silky hair
broad shoulders
Endlessly white, cloudy skies
are Dancing through my HEAD
then
(not forgotten, just
forestalled)
i look through the window
and a surge of
enchantment arises.
-
The world of storm clouds and
hazy mist is
Magic on Earth.
i feel it in the movement of
people pulling out
umbrellas
trying to protect against the
damp
not understanding the
cleansing,
not knowing the
Joy of embracing
rain.
-
forget them.
i step out, into tears of the heavens.
tears of joy
or sorrow?
it's the same in the
end.
-
but I say
washing the dirt,
the filth
the grime from the earth
deserves commemoration.
-
Arms to the sky, Spin through
life Eyes closed, Hands out. feeling
each
drop of
rain, and WELCOMING it as one's
own.
-
Know this,
that true wings
cannot be diminished by
mere water, mere clouds
cannot harm true
light.
-
We have nothing to be afraid of.
-
'you'llcatchcold,'
a voice cuts through to me
hesitant
staring at me through those
prettypretty
eyes.
-
almost mortified, yet giddy
soaring high in the downpour
i felt myself take his
cold hands
pulling him with me, whispering
how could i?
see the way cloudy eyes soften.
tiptoeing, a soft brush of the cheek.
rainIsMAGIC~
a glance over the shoulder
(the air turning
dusty gold with particles of
sunlight)
last smile of the lips,
last press of the hands.
and turn to walk back home.
-:-
:.:.:One afternoon
while not stalking a certain
…female...
hearing patters of droplets
hitting the ground
(taptaptap)
seeing her slip out the back
(taptaptap)
What the hell
am i doing?
Almost ashamed, almost
backing away
until flashes of movement
catch my eye.
-
(taptaptap)
the Heart leaps
then dances
at the sight of
a beautiful girl
skipping through the droplets.
-
taptaptap goes
the rain,
as something inside
keeps time
-
Derived, perhaps,
from the same insanity
as that breathless,
heart-tapping
sickness,
i find myself saying
the first, brainless
thing that comes to mind.
-
You'll catch cold
(taptaptap)
Idiot! as if
disapproving,
as if telling her to
Stop.
-
she turns and glances,
wide brown eyes startled
but then-
a confident flash
of a dazzling smile
and i dimly sense her come
closer.
-
her hands were so small
so delicate.
so warm.
(taptaptap)
as she leaned up
as i stood still
- - - afraid if I moved
she might shatter
and disappear with the
rain.
'how could i?'
she whispers, staring
straight into my
eyes.
-
i don't move,
even when her face brushes
against mine, when her
breath is soft in my ear.
Rain is Magic.
and with that, she lets go
leaving me electrified,
each hair standing on end
at attention.
-
she spins around through the rain
glancing once more through
dark lashes,
then disappears.
-
Magic Indeed
Was my last coherent thought, feeling
Numb
Breathless
Weightless.
-
It wasn't until i arrived home
that i even realized i was
soaked to the
bone. :.:.:
-:-
I had a dream.
One of those typical dreams,
where you're flying. Well,
Flying or Falling, (who knows) –
but in the end, you
jolt
awake, to the realization that
you Cannot win in life.
Only this time, it was different.
-
This time, i was falling
except not.
it was a gentle,
tender sensation, the
white clouds floating by leisurely against
the dark black sky -
as if aware of the fact that
there was no hurry.
we would get to where we were
going in due time, leaving no time
whatsoever to rush.
-
i turned lazily about in the
clouds, staring up above when
a sense of urgency pulled me down.
i had to find him.
-
i panicked, dropping several feet, a
wave of terror gripping
my chest. Something
terrible
horrible
would happen if i did not find...
-
…who?
what was I looking for?
i had no idea.
But i must find
Him, i must-
where was he?
frantic sobbing tore through my throat,
and I felt tear drops roll
like droplets of rain.
-
Thunder rolled in the distance, and
Something was exploding (taptaptap) in my
chest, coldly gripping
my lungs.
-
and then his voice was in
my ear.
a wave of relief washes over me,
and i reached down, touching
his ice cold hand
feeling blue veins of warmth
rushing through his arm:
giving him strength
solidity
pulling him up, next to me.
-
The storm passes, and
Together
we rise, nestled comfortably,
Together
in the clouds.
-
I was happy.
-:-
:.:.: i lay in bed
that night
Thinking about,
Things.
-
thinking about my
father
thinking about
her,
about
life
and what it means to be
free.
i spent my whole
life
living to please another
be it my family
my clan
my duty
and never once have i complained
_
after all, what's the use?
but Freedom wasn't simply being
free from fear
from oppression
-
wasn't simply knowing that things would never
Change.
-
Freedom was Choice.
-
Choice to be frightened,
Choice to leap off that cliff, into the
sky.
-
Choice was Uncertainty, and
uncertainty was Fear,
but Choice is Foremost and Always
FREEDOM.
-
i Chose to be Free.
with Her.
:.:.:
-:-
I wouldn't call it love
-Yet-
still not love…
Yet…
Oh, who am i kidding?
if this isn't love, then
i'd be Terrified to learn what
realtrue love might be.
-
but you know,
They say that
the eyes are the windows
to the soul
and through those windows lie
pools of emotion.
-
Drown yourself in those pools
(surge and swirl),
Trapped,
in the depths of those pools.
-
No.
Through his eyes, i saw the sky.
hidden by clouds
held back by
something, but
- - - white
- - - open
eternal heavens nonetheless.
-
Clouds can't mask Forever, and
mist can't hold down Sky.
-
I don't want to Drown
or Crash
or be Trapped in the ground
suffocating.
-
I want to fly
soar into the forever,
the waking dream of hope.
with him.
-
Together on our wings,
:.:-:-:.: We'll Never Come Down~ :.:-:-:.:
