Based on this fic: s/8932317/1/His-Unbelievable-Pain-Spamano-One-shot

Antonio sat with a wistful, empty look flittering across his features. He stared at the blank wall across from him as he rocked himself gently back and forth, his thoughts in disarray.

They told him it's been a month.

A month since Lovino's suicide.

Less than a month since his admission into this mental asylum.

And yet, he felt as though a day hasn't passed. For time was irrelevant when one couldn't see the changing of the skies.

He sat quietly, busy contemplating many things. One had so much time when one is locked away from society.

His thoughts flashed behind his eyes. Things of unimportance like whether he had fed his cat Gatito to things of magnifying importance….. like Lovino.

He sighed quietly. Oh Lovino.

Antonio felt the dull ache in his heart again and in response he curled himself inward into a fetal position. He stayed, curled like that till dinner which he once again refused.

If Lovino couldn't eat, why should he?

Today, they (the so-called doctors) decided that Antonio could have some more freedom.

They said that since Antonio was behaving himself, he was allowed to have things in his room. They brought in a mirror for him and set it up on the Western side of the room.

Antonio first eyed the new object warily but finally built enough courage to look at himself. He wasn't surprised to see his outer being reflecting his inner.

His face looked gaunt as though he hadn't been eating properly. His eyes had dark shadows of regret under them and his expression appeared permanently twisted into a hopeless child of a frown and a scowl.

But the thing that struck Antonio the most was his eyes.

His eyes had changed dramatically from its cheerful forest green to a slightly darker bottle-green. The irises seemed to be damaged with many facades of shadows that sucked away the light that had once glowed in their depths.

Sighing, he turned away from his sorrowful other self.

Maybe his reflection will change tomorrow.

Antonio found his eyes being drawn to the mirror throughout the days. His eyes would subtly slide over until his entire attention was focused onto the simple body length mirror.

It was nothing great really. It was a cheap mirror made of reflective plastic that couldn't have costed more than a few dollars. But Antonio craved the change it brought. If he had been his old self, he probably would have made stupid and ridiculous faces and fallen over from laughter.

But now, much more solemn, Antonio could only stare at his reflection and wonder if things could have been different.

One day, Antonio believed it must have been spring as he could smell the heady humidity of outside air coming from a crack in the wall, Antonio found himself staring into the mirror once more.

But today was special. It was different.

For Antonio saw not his own reflection, but he saw Lovino. (No, please, he knows this sound crazy but do not shake off his experience so easily as insanity.)

Antonio saw Lovino in the bright, shimmering plastic that glowed with the light of the fluorescent overhang. He saw Lovino smiling in the mirror and in return he smiled too.

It was his first smile since the incident.

His eyes were held firm to Lovino's pale translucent figure that talked with an unknown someone, walked, and furrowed his brows in that cute expression of his.

It felt as though Antonio was looking inward at different world. The mirror was his portal and by God was Antonio thankful for this.

He didn't care that he spent every moment watching his love, well his unrequited love, live his life. Not in his reality, but somewhere else…. Lovino was happy and alive.

He became both Echo and Narcissus. Lovino became his beloved, unattainable reflection.

Soon after, when he felt emboldened enough, Antonio would reach out a hand to try to touch Lovino. To reach past the reflective surface that separated them and feel his lover's soft skin. But every time his fingertips skimmed the plastic, he withdrew his hand as though he'd been burned…. Because Antonio realized that he had no right to long for Lovino.. he had no right to try and touch Lovino.

He was cruel to Lovino. Unimaginably so that his divine punishment was to take away the very thing he longed to hold close the most.

Yes, Antonio was being punished by Providence. In this white room, he must atone for his sins alone.

He should have prayed saying grace for the mirror that provided a small comfort and hope, but Antonio felt as though that too... he had no real right to thank the Divine one.

The day he finally touched the Lovino in the mirror was the day that Antonio cried out Lovino's name in his usual anguish. And Lovino heard him this time. His beautiful hazel eyes glanced straight at Antonio as he looked at him quizzically," Antonio?"

Antonio's breath caught in his throat.

No longer able to restrain himself, not when Lovino looked at him like that and acknowledged him with his sweet voice, Antonio leapt forward into the mirror and latched his arms around Lovino. He then pulled Lovino out with a heave back and became surprised when the mirror gave no greater resistance than water.

Lovino came tumbling out of the mirror like an exotic fish that had been fished out of the deep, untouchable oceans. His hazel eyes blinked in surprised before his expression changed to its customary sullen one.

Antonio couldn't be gladder to see Lovino's scowl.

"Where the f*ck am I, Antonio."

Antonio didn't answer. Instead, he looked at Lovino, stared quite intensely at him, before lunging forward and wrapping his arms around Lovino's waist. He felt tears start to collect at the corner of his eyes as he held Lovino close and murmured a thousand choked apologizes," I'm so sorry… Please don't leave me again… I'm sorry… I'm sorry. Please… Lovino… forgive me…. Lo siento… "

Lovino was still very confused by Antonio's action. It was abnormal for the man to apologize to him directly. But despite his confusion and hesitation, he embraced back and gently cooed over the distressed man," …. You idiot. Don't I always forgive you?"

Ahahaha... yeah... I don't know... Welp, Please Review and stick around for Part 2.