Persony person: I don't know what possessed me to write this. My friends suggested it and I had nothing better to do. And viola! This comes up! --"
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, I DO own these dreams. Yes, these are MY dreams, I had to change them a little so they would make more sense…or less sense, whatever, you decide.
Hello, and welcome to the insane reality that is my mind.
No, I take that back, you're NOT welcome! I, Bakura, Sexy-tomb-robbing-pharoah-hating-evil-physcotic Bakura, do not welcome people. I torture, slaughter, taunt, and typically make them uncomfortable. I don't welcome them.
"BAKURA! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PUTTING SHARP OBJECT IN THE DRYER!"
That would be my extremely loud hikari. Ryou. It's surprising how LOUD he can yell, especially when he's mad at me…
Which is often…
It's not like it's my FAULT that my knife collection just 'happens' to appear in the dryer.
If you ask me, I think Ryou is PMSing. He's girlish enough! Besides, what's wrong with a few punctured clothes?
Anyway, the point of me writing this down is because I have been having…strange dreams. Like holy-crap-what-the-fuck-was-that dreams. Now, Ryou says that it may have to do with the fact that I eat seven chilidogs every night before I go to sleep. Or the fact that I'm psychotic. Or maybe a combination of the two. Anyway, I think he's wrong, and I'm going to record my dreams and try to figure out how the HELL these came out of MY (sexy) head.
"BAKURA!"
Let's start with Sunday night. After eating my ten-thirty snack, I decided to 'catch some Z's' (phrase I heard one of Ryou's friends say, I think he was blonde. The phrase sounds completely moronic to me) so, once I entered the world of dreamland, I saw that I was in Ryou/My room. And all of a sudden, the window breaks open! No, not break EXPLODES! And I look out of the window, aka giant hole in the wall. I see a pool, (where we got a pool I shall never know) completely water-less. Inside, I see the no-good pharaoh and Spiderman skateboarding in the pool! And then-
----------------------
"BAKURA!"
Oh, Its Ryou, he's storming in the room. He has a dagger in his hand. Hmm...should i be afraid?
"Hey is that my 55mm? I've been looking all over for that one!" I say, completely ignoring his earlier outburst.
His yelling sort of loses its effect after the first eighty times.
Putting down the journal I was writing in, I walk over and try to take the dagger back. But stubborn Ryou moves it out of my reach.
Stupid hikari…
"I'm not going to give it back until you promise not to do that again."
"Do what again?"
"Putting knives and daggers in the dryer"
"Well I-"
"Or scissors, needles, pliers, pens, broken bottles, shards of glass, animal teeth, ninja stars, or anything from your weapon collection."
Pfft. Hikari's are no fun. I guess I'll humor him.
"Fine Ryou, in my tomb-robbing promise, I solemnly swear not to put any knives, daggers, scissors, needles, pliers, pens, broken bottles, shards of glass, animal teeth, ninja stars, or anything from my weapon collection in the dryer." I promise, and even put my hand over my heart to add the effect.
He looks at me warily, then hands me the dagger, and unceremoniously walks out the door. Hn, shows how much YOU know hikari. Tomb-robbers make no promises. Mwuahahaha! Now…where was I?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-And then, the pharaoh takes off his cape thingy, and throws it in my face while doing some skating trick. Being the brilliant genius that I am, I decide to sell it on eBay. I meanthat capemust be able to sell for a lot if it can move and blow around even when there is no wind, right?
So, in a matter of seconds, I am $250,000 richer! Then, I walked to a car store that was conviniently next door to my house, and bought a red Ferrari. Nice. But it went to waste because I drove it into the empty pool. It ended up killing the pharaoh though, so I guess it wasn't a complete waste.
Upon seeing the dead pharaoh, Spiderman decides that he's hungry, and asked me if I would go to Ruby Tuesday's with him. I agreed of course. But I didn't plan on eating there…
We take my newly bought hummer there, but somehow land in the middle of the ocean.
Come on! I'm not THAT bad of a driver! Sure, I may go 80mph in a 30mph road, but I never end up in the OCEAN!
Pfft, stupid dreams..
So here we are, sinking in my new hummer (why are all my new cars somehow wrecked?) When a Color Line cruise ship appears. At the top of the ship is an old scraggly guy with an eye-patch. He somehow pulls us out of the water and onto the deck. Which is strange because he looked extremely wimpy. Even for an old guy.
Then he has the NERVE to call me a girl! How..how..insulting! Oh yeah, he said something about Spiderman being a stripper. (He had somehow lost his clothes except of his underwear) (a/n: I'm sorry but I have to say, Where did THAT come from! I have such a twisted mind --")
I decide glaring at him would be the best way to may him shut up. But instead of cowering in fear like he was SUPPOSED to do, he sings the pokemon theme song!
Why am I the only sane one in my dreams?
Thinking to myself 'the hell with this' I jump off the ship.
Not smart.
However, instead of hitting the water, I was surrounded by fire. Some half fried chickens start disco dancing, and that was where I woke up.
And now, I am going to go through Ryou's psychology books. Ugh, that sound really boring though, hmmm, or maybe I could entertain myself some other way….
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later
"BAKURA! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT STEALING YAMI AND YUGI'S HAIR GEL AND USING IT TO START A BON-FIRE!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fin
So how was that? I fixed it up a bit..anyone is welcome to tell me about their crazy dreams and i might add it here. Special thanks to:
redconvoy, sanichan11, and Goddess of the Madhouse for being my first reveiwees! THANKYOU!