Dangerous Christmas
Characters: None, but many mentioned
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Humor/Attempted Horror
Warnings: A complete crack, it hardly even makes any sense. No manga spoilers.
Listen to me my friends and listen carefully. I am going to tell you all a true story. Something that happened in my village a few years back.
It's all about a Christmas ornament. It looked like any other Christmas ornament, a happy Santa Claus, all big and red and cheery, about 4 inches long. But it has a secret. A deep, dark secret. Whenever someone looked at it, specifically its eyes and called it cute, that person would be knocked unconscious almost immediately. When they woke up, they would say how the cute Santa's smile turned creepy revealing razor sharp teeth and how his eyes turned blood red. Then the Santa started growing and growing until it became 30 feet tall. The Santa would then chase them around in a strange red and dark place before getting hold of them and eating them bit by bit. If the victim paid closer attention to the background, they would notice a drunk copy-nin and green beast arm wrestling, a snake lady stripping, and two certain gate keepers making out, among other things. This terrible jutsu was cast on this little ornament by a certain genjutsu expert who was drunk off her ass and accepted a challenge from someone that she could make something cute scary with her genjutsu. She had succeeded. When they all were sober, they tried to destroy the little thing but they failed. Then they disposed it off somewhere. They had started to believe that the little ornament had the soul of the devil trapped inside it. Little did they know that a certain apprentice of the village leader would find it and decorate the mission room Christmas tree with it. Little did they know that no matter how much they try, the little devil won't budge.
My fellow listeners, now that you have heard the story of the murderous Christmas ornament, be careful, for you might be its victim one day.
Be afraid…..Be very afraid…..
A/N: Something that I wrote for the KakaIru Christmas fest for Deviantart. Sadly there is not much KakaIru in this one, I tried my best not to mention any names, only their characteristics for people to figure out themselves.
Complete crack. Did not make any sense while writing, and still doesn't make any sense.
I kind of imagine Pakkun saying this in a very goosebumps-like voice.
Hope you guys liked it.