Disclaimer: Victorious is just one of many things not under my ownership.
Chapter One
Loser
I tried as hard as I could to fall back asleep. I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly that they started to hurt a little bit. I pretended to snore, thinking that might trick my body into sleep mode. Nothing worked. The light peeking through my window blinds was shining right onto my face. It was morning and there was nothing I could do to change that.
With a groan, I rolled over onto my stomach. My face was pressing against the pillow. It was difficult to breathe through my nose. Maybe if I stayed in this position for a while, I'd pass out from the lack of air. At least then I wouldn't be awake. Faintly, I heard the door to my room squeak open.
"Robbie?" came the barely audible voice of my mother. "You awake?"
Yes I was awake. And I hated it.
"I made breakfast, Robbie", my mom said, clearly assuming that I wasn't asleep. "All of your favorites. You need to eat something. Robbie?"
"I'm not hungry", I finally mumbled through the pillow.
"I know you're upset, honey." I felt the bed sink a bit as Mom sat down next to my still body. "Your father has been on the phone with school all morning. He's trying, but maybe this is the way things are supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason, you know?"
Was she trying to make me feel worse? Because that's exactly what she was doing.
"When Dad and I get back from Boca in two weeks, we're all going to go together to find you a new school", my mom continued. "The final decision will be completely up to you. Anywhere you want to go."
I want to go back to Hollywood Arts.
"You're a smart boy, Rob", she went on. "Any school would be proud to have you go there."
Yeah, except Hollywood Arts.
"I know you're going to miss all your friends. But you can still see them on weekends, and during holiday vacations. It won't be the same, I know, but everything is going to be ok. I promise."
Leave now.
"You have a great group of friends." Mom put her hand on my back. "They even came to visit you last night, remember? To see if you were all right and to invite you to that Vega girl's graduation party. I wish you'd went with them."
"I didn't feel like it", I finally spoke out loud again and rolled onto my back. "Why would I want to celebrate a graduation from Hollywood Arts when I can't do that myself?"
Mom ran her fingers through my probably very messy hair and sighed.
"Come downstairs and eat with Dad and I before our flight", she said. "You have to get some food in you. You're so skinny, Rob. It makes me feel guilty."
"Food doesn't solve everything, you know", I snapped at her.
"No it doesn't", she admitted. "But it gives you the potential strength to solve everything. Please come downstairs?"
"I really don't want to, Mom", I said without emotion. I just wanted to just lie back down in bed and bury myself under the covers. Preferably forever.
"Well, the food's on the kitchen table for when you get hungry later." Mom finally stood up. "The cab is coming to take your father and I to the airport in an hour or so. All of the emergency numbers are on the fridge, and we left money for you in the usual place. We love you, Robbie. Everything is going to be ok."
"Ok mom", I replied in a monotone, looking straight ahead into space. "Love you too. Bye."
"Hey, where's Rex?" she asked curiously, glancing around. "You didn't sleep with him last night?"
"I don't know", I lied. "I'll look for him later."
Mom quickly kissed the top of my head and laid her hand on my shoulder before leaving my room with a frown. Once I heard her get to the bottom of the stairs, I reached over and grabbed my glasses from the end table. I slid them on, making my bedroom come into focus. Then I reached under my bed and pulled out a very familiar looking puppet. His clothes were all wrinkled and a little dusty.
"It's about time!" Rex exclaimed with a cough. "I thought you'd never take me out from under there! You've got a dust bunny problem, you know that?"
"Shut up", I muttered angrily.
"Hey!" Rex said, obviously offended. "Why all the hostility, Rob?"
"This is all your fault!" I cried out accusingly. "You're the one who told me to re-audition for Hollywood Arts on my own! Without you! And guess what? I didn't get back in! They told me I'm not good enough! I was supposed to be starting my senior year with all of my friends and now I can't! Because of you!"
"It was your decision to listen to me, man", Rex replied calmly. "It's not my fault that you have no talent on your own."
I resisted the urge to rip Rex's arm off as tears formed in my eyes. He was right. I was a talentless loser who depended on a puppet to get him through three years at Hollywood Arts. Furiously I shoved Rex back under the bed. I stood up and looked around my room. There were photos of Rex and I in every direction.
Growling, I pulled every single framed picture of us off of the wall. Then I grabbed the other pictures from the tables on either side of my bed. I threw everything into a pile on the floor. Breathing heavily, I stomped down on the pile. Hard. Except I wasn't wearing any shoes or socks. I yelped like a wounded dog, grabbed my foot and hopped around in pain.
All Rex ever did was cause me embarrassment and misery. From that moment on, I vowed to never have anything to do with him again. And I truly meant it.
Well … at least I meant it for a few minutes. Then the guilt became too intense and I quickly yanked Rex back out from under the bed, apologizing profusely. I promised him I'd fix the pictures of us, and put them all back where they belonged. How could I have been so cruel to my best buddy?
None of my other friends were going to want to hang out with me since we wouldn't be in the same school anymore. Why would people with real promise for the future spend time with a loser with no goals, dreams or talent like myself? I couldn't sing. I couldn't dance. I was a mediocre actor. And I just wasn't funny on my own.
Rex was all I had. And he's all I'd ever have.
I thought that I had stayed in bed for at least another hour but as I slumped into the living room holding Rex, I saw my parents sitting on the couch with their heads together, in deep conversation. I stood there awkwardly in my pajamas, not knowing whether to announce my presence or just stay silent.
There were travel bags scattered all around the living room floor. The big ones, which definitely belonged to Mom, were so full that I could see they weren't zipped all the way closed. Dad's bags were much smaller and there weren't as many. I had no idea how they intended to fit everything into the cab.
Mom was nodding her head sadly as Dad whispered something into her ear. I wondered what they were talking about. Probably me and what a big loser I was. My poor parents. Having to be associated with a kid who couldn't get through all four years of Hollywood Arts. They were parents of a failure.
I glanced over at the nearby clock. It was past noon already.
"Shouldn't you two be on your way towards the Sunshine State by now?" Rex asked loudly.
My parents looked up and smiled when they saw me standing there. Now those two are much better actors than I ever could be. Smiling at me like that when they were most definitely disappointed …
"We're still waiting for the cab to get here", Mom explained. "They're late. I called to complain but there's no answer. How are you feeling, baby?"
"Better", I lied. "I found Rex." I held him up.
"Great", my mom answered happily.
"Come sit down, Rob", Dad said, patting the space next to him. "Let's talk for a few minutes."
I sat down and waited for Dad to talk.
"I called Hollywood Arts", he started. "And I asked to speak to the principal. Helena, I think her name was. She's the one who makes all final decisions about admitting kids. I told her that you'd been going there for three years already so it makes no sense to kick you out now. And I told her how great your grades have always been. She agreed with me."
"So what did she say?" I asked anxiously, my heart lifting a little bit.
"Well, she told me not to tell her how to run her school." Dad furrowed his eyebrow. My heart sank to its lowest point. "And that she preferred when you performed with Rex like last year."
"The lady has good taste", Rex butted in. I covered his mouth.
"Then she told me that she realized it's a performing arts school and that she thinks you just don't have what it takes to make it in the business", Dad continued. "And that you'd fare better in a regular school where your good grades will be more significant."
My mouth suddenly became very dry and I couldn't speak. It was one thing admitting the truth about my loser-ness to myself, but hearing someone else say it? I felt tears coming, but I tried my hardest to hold them in.
"Then I asked her how she had the right to judge kids on their performing abilities", Dad continued speaking. "And she sang at me. Loudly. Nearly deafened me, didn't she, dear?"
"Oh, maybe you should stop the story there", Mom suggested worriedly. "The point is, Robbie, we tried but there's nothing we can do. We're sorry."
I couldn't stop the tears at that point. Once they started, they flowed down my face like a waterfall. I curled into a ball on the couch and sobbed like a baby. My life really was over. No more Hollywood Arts. No more Tori, Cat, Andre, Beck, or Jade. No more Mr. Sikowitz. No more Trina. No more Sinjin. No more Asphalt Café. No more locker with my collection of old baby bottle nipples. No more pretty girls. No more fun acting exercises and challenges. No more tech theater stuff. No more anything.
"Ok, ok, Robbie, it's ok. You know what? We don't have to go to Boca", Mom said, holding me as I bawled. "Dad and I will stay here with you, ok?"
I stopped crying and sniffled. Snot kept falling out of my nose. Of course my parents would try to make me feel better. Even thought a loser like myself didn't deserve their pity.
"No, you two have gone to Boca for two weeks every single June since I was a baby." I tried to sound confident, but it's hard to do that when you keep choking on your own tears. "Just go and have fun. I'll be fine here. Don't ruin your tradition because of me."
"Listen to me, son", Dad said as he tightly clasped my shoulder. "Your mother and I are not going to have a good time unless we're sure you're going to have a good time also. We don't want to picture you at home every day laying in bed in the dark."
How did they know what I planned to do for the next two weeks?
"It may feel like the end of the world", Mom said. "But we promise you, it's not."
Dad had pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He quickly went through his money and then handed me a wad of bills. I stared at it, wide-eyed.
"Use this money wisely, son", Dad instructed. "Go out with your friends and have fun. Do things you enjoy. Spend half of it, or spend it all. Just don't stay home for the next two weeks doing nothing. Deal?"
"My friends aren't going to want to be seen with me", I muttered.
"What do you mean?" My mom laughed. "They all came over here last night to invite you to that graduation party. You didn't feel like going. But of course they want to be seen with you!"
I shrugged and put my head in my hands.
"Your cell phone in the kitchen", my dad started. "It's been beeping and vibrating all morning. Doesn't that mean you're getting phone messages? Text letters … phone letters … whatever you kids call them."
"Text messages, dear", Mom corrected.
"I think your friends are trying to contact you, son", Dad said. "Why don't you go into the kitchen to see?"
"Maybe later", I sighed. I was sure the messages were nothing important.
"Oh, and your little friend called the house phone a few times", Dad added. "To ask if you were all right. What was her name? Some kind of animal … Cow, was it?"
"Cat, dear", Mom corrected once again.
"Haha, he called her Cow", Rex laughed.
"Thanks, Dad. I'll call her back soon", I promised. "After I eat something. I'm kind of hungry now."
Mom's face brightened at that. Suddenly a horn honked loudly from outside the house.
"That must be our cab", Dad said, getting up and starting to gather the bags. "Rob, can you help us pack everything in the car?"
"Yeah, sure", I answered, standing up as well. I left Rex on the couch in a comfortable position and turned on the television for him. His favorite soap opera had just started. I grabbed one of the small bags off the floor and walked outside to the waiting cab.
The driver had gotten out of the car to help with the bags also. I gave him the friendliest smile I could muster as I handed him the bag I was holding. He looked me up and down and grimaced. He must have found out about my getting kicked out of Hollywood Arts. That frightened me. How many other people knew also? Then I looked down at myself and realized I was only wearing a t-shirt and boxer shorts. Oh. Ok.
It took almost ten minutes before all of my parent's bags were comfortably packed in the cab. The only things that were left to go in the car were my parents themselves. I had brought Rex outside to say goodbye. Mom gave me the tightest hug in the world, and then she kissed my head at least twenty times. Dad patted my shoulder and ruffled my hair like he used to do when I was a kid.
"Remember to use that money wisely!" Dad said as he got into the car. "We'll call you as soon as we land."
"And if you find yourself in the mood for some home cooking, Mamaw said you can visit her any time! Or she'll come over here and cook for you", Mom added.
Yeah … that's not going to happen.
Mom gave me one last kiss before whispering in my ear that everything would be all right. She carefully situated herself in the cab next to Dad.
"Bye, Robbie!" Dad said.
"I love you!" Mom exclaimed before closing the door.
"Bye! Love you too!" I called out as the car slowly made its way down the block. I waved and made Rex wave also as the cab turned the corner and disappeared. I stood there for a few seconds and then sighed.
"Looks like it's just you and me now", I said to Rex.
"Take me back inside", he demanded. "My show is still going on. I don't want to miss the cliffhanger ending."
Slowly I trudged back inside the house holding Rex in my arms. I was used to being home alone for weeks at a time, but for some reason it seemed even emptier and lonelier than usual now.
"I'm going back to my room to lay in bed in the dark", I said, looking down at the floor.
"What about the food your mom made?" Rex asked. "Or the messages from your friends? Don't you want to see what they say? What about the cash your Dad gave you? Let's order a bunch of pizzas with it."
I grabbed the money from the living room table and shoved it between the couch cushions.
"Losers like me don't deserve to have that much money", I replied sadly. "Now I'm going upstairs into bed to lay there in the dark. Wake me up in two weeks, please. Better yet, don't wake me up at all."
I left Rex on the couch to finish watching his soap opera. He didn't say anything else as I walked up the stairs to my room. And who could blame him? There was nothing left to say to me.
Author's Note: Hello all! Here's my first Trina/Robbie story. I've noticed there's a severe lack of these, which is sad because they're one of my favorite Victorious couples. So here I am to contribute the workings of my mind. This is going to be a long story, and the POVs will keep alternating between Robbie and Trina for each chapter. I've never written in this style before so hopefully it turns out all right.
Until next time!