Hi! This is my first Outlaw Star fic, and my second fic
ever. The first song is "I Know" by
Fiona Apple (who kicks so much butt), and it's from Melfina's point of view (sort
of). The second song is "Nocturnal" by
Max Collins (the oh so sexy lead singer from Eve 6), and it's from Gene's point
of view (again, sort of). Both take
place after the series. I always think
of Melfina and Gene when I hear these songs.
I hope y'all like it, and don't forget to review.
So be it, I'm your
crowbar
If that's what I am so
far
Until you get out of
this mess
And I will pretend
That I don't know of
your sins
Until you are ready to
confess
But all the time, all
the time
I'll know, I'll know
Melfina lie in bed, staring out into
space, literally. She was trying really
hard not to feel sorry for herself, not to miss Hilda, not to think about
Gene. She knew that Hilda and Gene had
been lovers before she died, but she pretended that she didn't. She couldn't help but feel like the two of
them used her; she also couldn't help but feel grateful for their help and kindness. Confused, she wondered, 'can you hate some
one and love them at the same time? He
uses me like a tool, but he treats me like a human; he even said he wanted to
be with me always, but he still thinks about her.' She immediately recoiled at how disdainfully
she thought of Hilda.
And you can use my
skin
To bury my secrets in
And I will settle you
down
She looked over at Gene. He appeared to be asleep. He always seemed so calm after they made
love. It was like he had gotten every
secret off his chest, and he could rest easy.
He never knew how true that was. Melfina could tell what he was thinking when they were
together. She knew all the things she
didn't need to and none of the things she did.
She knew that Gene missed Hilda, that their passionate, while all too
brief, affair had been amazing. She
knew that Gene was still suffering from grief over his father, over Hilda, for
taking away Jim's childhood, for being in debt to Fred. She didn't know that, while Hilda still did
and always would hold a small piece of Gene's heart, the rest was hers. Somehow she just couldn't see how much Gene
really loved her.
And at my own
suggestion,
I will ask no
questions
While I do my thing in
the background
But all the time, all
the time
I'll know, I'll know
Baby- I can't help you
out, while she's still around
So, knowing Gene's secret, lasting
admiration for Hilda, Melfina went on with life. She didn't say anything about it, didn't ask him any questions. She was afraid to say anything about one
problem for fear that the would all come crashing down, for fear that Gene
would stop loving her if she opened that flood-gate. She just navigated the ship, made dinner, and shared his
bed. She was resigned to her fate.
So for the time being,
I'm being patient
And amidst this
bitterness
If you'll just
consider this- Even if it don't make sense
All the time- Give it time
And when the crowd
becomes your burden
And you've early
closed your curtains,
I'll wait by the
backstage door
She just
waited, as patiently as she could, for Gene's soul to heal. However, in the meantime, hers was becoming
even more scarred. All she could do was
tell him that she loved him and hope that was enough. She never thought to leave. She never asked for more. She just waited.
While you try to find the
lines to speak your mind
And pry it open,
hoping for an encore
And if it gets too
late, for me wait
For you to find you
love me, and tell me so
It's ok, don't need to
say it.
Well she's lying in our bed,
Sweating staring at the ceiling
I know her worried head is aching,
I know the cause is me
I could leave the bathroom light on for better dreams tonight
My stability, my luxury, my life
And I won't go, neither will you
Turn off the phone, let's sleep 'til two
Your sad eyes take and own me
Words are unnecessary
Grip the back of your neck and slowly
Move 'til it all becomes alright
Gene could tell that Melfina was hurting,
and he knew that it was his fault. He
didn't know what to do to fix her. That's
all he really wanted, for her to be happy, but he just couldn't seem to make it
happen. He was horrible with words; he
couldn't even bring himself to say, "I love you," when she did, no matter how
much he wanted to. She said it every
night, as they got into bed. All he
could do was kiss her, touch her, make love to her. He wished that was enough for her to understand how he felt, but
it wasn't. No matter how much he drove
her into heavenly ecstasy, his love for her did not come across. He knew his mission to make her understand
had failed once again. He tried
desperately to stay awake after the remaining tremors of orgasm had passed, but
listening to Melfina catch her breath and exhaustion quickly shuffled him to
sleep. He really regretted it too; he
was sure that if he had stayed awake for a few more moments and looked Melfina
in the eye he could have said it.
I wake up in a cold sweat
Got a bone to pick with reality
Take a deep breath and lay back down,
Wearing my badge of infamy
Change the bulb in the nightlight
Cause it flickered flickered and died
Repeat the words you're not alone
To self three times and hit the light
A few hours later Gene awoke with a start. He had been dreaming that Melfina left him for
Harry MacDougal. "At least he can tell
me that he loves me!" she had said, crying, in his dream. Quickly, he looked at Melfina, to make sure
she was there. She was, and she was
silent and still. Thinking she was
asleep, he took a deep breath and laid back down.
Moments later, he was still awake, and
Melfina started to shake. He heard a
sniffle and a muffled sob. He rolled over, grabbed Melfina's shoulders, and
turned her to face him. "What's wrong,
Mel?" She shook her head. "Tell me!" he demanded gently.
She clutched at him and buried her face in
his chest. "Do you love me or do you
just think of me as the closest thing to Hilda?" she managed to ask through
wracking sobs.
My aim is true,
Turn off the phone, let's sleep 'till two
Your sad eyes take and own me
Words are unnecessary
Grip the back of your neck and slowly
Move 'til it all becomes alright
Gene was shocked. 'How does she know I still think about Hilda?' At that moment, seeing his Mel cry because
of him, Gene didn't give a shit about Hilda anymore. He pulled Melfina back to look him in the eyes. "Mel, I love you so much that I can't even
tell you. You mean everything to
me. Hilda was important to me,
but not anymore. Please don't cry. Please, don't." He couldn't stand to watch the tears course down her face anymore,
so he did the only thing he could to stop her sobs; he kissed her. As he pulled away, she looked up at him with
bright, wide, wondering eyes; she had stopped crying. "I can't tell you how I feel, but let me try to show you."
With that said, he kissed her again and
began to work his erotic magic. 'She'll
understand this time. I'll take Mel to
Heaven, and she'll know it's because I love her.'
Let the fighting words lie
Let the candlelight die
Let the sun come up
Let the saline dry
