I don't own Naruto... with this in mind, read on! And review, too!
Warning: Alot of crack! Yaoi - soft, though!
The Bomb
He shut his eyes.
And opened them.
It was still there.
He blinked rapidly.
Still there.
Adjusted his hitae ate more securely over his Sharingan while carefully keeping his scarred eyelid down.
Nope.
Still there.
"Kai!"
But the genjutsu removal seal, didn't remove the offending object.
Still there.
He looked both ways for any sign of life.
Nope.
He looked down.
Nope.
Still there.
What the hell…
He glared at the orange box and the wild red bow.
What the hell is it?
He picked it up gingerly.
Nothing happened.
He weighed it.
It didn't feel too heavy.
That meant nothing.
But nothing happened.
He removed his hitae ate and stared hard at the box.
No chakra. Nothing.
Nothing was happening.
He smelled it.
It smelled like ink…
Not Naruto. Everything around the idiot smelled like ramen.
Very disturbing.
Not Sasuke. He smelled like damp and sand.
Not Sakura either. She always smelled like Pakkun.
Very, VERY disturbing.
Ink…
No doubt due to the tag hanging from the ribbon, labeled "To Kakashi".
Placing the box against his ear, Kakashi listened carefully, stilling his breath to the merest whisper.
He was still standing there, when Genma passed by with Raido.
They stared at him.
But he didn't know. He was standing there, eyes shut in concentration, listening to a very suspect sound.
Genma and Raido stared.
"What the hell…" murmured Genma.
Raido blinked.
"He's just too weird," Genma said. "But then what do you expect? Jounin like him are Jounin like him."
"Do you think he needs help?"
"Mmmmmm…."
"IT'S TICKING!"
Kakashi began running around the hallway with the orange-wrapped box held as faraway from himself as possible (2 feet away).
"Kakashi… What the hell?"
"It's a bomb, Genma."
Genma looked at the box.
He saw an orange-wrapped gift, with a huge red bow.
"Kakashi."
"Yeah."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Eh?"
"Here."
Genma took it, shook it, smelled it, looked at it, listened to it.
"Hmph…"
Raido nodded solemnly.
There was a solemn pause.
"What's the date today?" asked Genma.
Raido's eyes and face lightened, and a suspect giggle escaped from his lips.
"September the 15th."
"That explains it," the senbon Jounin said.
"What?"
"It's a gift."
"A what?"
"A gift! What a dumbnut!"
"Open it! Open it!" exclaimed Raido, glad he could finally get on to business.
"It's ticking, guys, it's probably a bomb."
"No it isn't, it's a birthday present."
"It's a bomb."
"It's a gift."
"A bomb."
"A gift."
"Is not.'
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"What – what's going on here?" asked Tsunade. She was coming by to check over Iwashi's kunai wounds.
"There's a bomb."
"A WHAT!"
"A bomb. Here."
Kakashi held out the box.
Genma smacked himself on the head.
Tsunade's fervent gaze landed on an orange and red gift. Anger followed recognition.
"Ohhhh! Kakashi, you idiot, what're you scaring me for, like that!"
"But –"
She sighed.
"Just open it."
"But –"
Tsunade's eyes turned red.
"Okay," Kakashi said, and opened the wrappings carefully.
Shizune, Genma and Raido crowded round.
The box opened to reveal –
A shiny new clock, with a small card beside it.
Kakashi opened it.
In neat cursive, the words, "Happy Birthday" looped across the front. And inside the – card? – was "Wishing you the best of luck". And underneath, with a lot of Xs and Os was the signature, "Umino Iruka".
"Iruka?" asked Tsunade, Genma, Raido and Shizune, breathlessly.
"Errrmmmm…" Kakashi said, suddenly scooping the box and card away from prying hands before disappearing into his room.
He remembered Iruka's words the other day.
"I've got a surprise waiting for you."
That made sense.
Although the Xs and Os – what the heck did they mean?
Kakashi lifted the new alarm clock out of its wrappings. With a silver bell and grey sides and blue and black hands. It was beautiful.
Kakashi blinked.
His first birthday gift.
He blushed.
His first birthday gift. And he'd thought that it was a bomb!
From the other side of the door, he could hear Genma talking with Raido. (Tsunade had disappeared, no doubt to spread the word on Kakashi-kun's antics…)
"Did you see that? Did you see that?"
"Yep."
"All those Xs and Os!"
"Yep."
"I wonder –"
"Yep."
"Hmmmm…"
"Well… let's go find Iruka-sensei – he'll crack –"
"Who's going to crack?" asked a sweet honey voice.
He knew that voice as warm like the sun and Kakashi, quickly setting down his new clock, scurried across his one room apartment, to open the door.
By the time the door opened before Iruka's raised hand, Genma and Raido had disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
But, oh, how much they wanted to hang around to see the final part of Iruka's birthday present for Kakashi!