Restless

Tsukihi let out a long yawn. She tried to draw it out as long as possible and it soon turned into a low groan. She stopped. This wasn't helping her boredom. She was the only one in the house and was currently lounging in the living room, squeezed into the corner of the armchair as much as she could.

She had already surfed through the television channels, snacked on every food they had, and had just finished her ice cream. She got up and threw it away, flopping back onto the couch. Karen was out with Kanbaru, Onii-chan was doing something and her parents, as usual, were out.

Ah! That was something she missed!

She searched through her sleeve until she found her cell. She punched in the numbers and held the phone impatiently to her ear. The dial tone was incredibly irritating but she mustered through. Finally, someone picked up.

"Hello? Tsukihi-chan?"

Tsukihi smiled widely and leaned against the chair. "Nadeko-chan! Hey! Wanna come over?"

"Eh? Um, I don't know, I have to do homewo—"

Tsukihi pursed her lips and pouted audibly. How long had it been since Nadeko came over? Ever since she went to the hospital. All she ever heard was rumors of what happened and Onii-chan didn't say anything. She feigned ignorance. She thought she could wait until school started again to see Nadeko once more.

She was weak when it came to Naa-chan.

"Ehhhhh? We still have some months left before school starts again! I'm sure you can take a break! Neh, come on, come on, come on, I'm sooooo lonely!"

Nadeko quietly sighed. "Okay. Give me some time."

"Thank you!"

Tsukihi was still seated when Nadeko knocked at the door. She leaned backwards and yelled, "COME INNNN". She heard Nadeko silently walk in, mutter something polite, and remove her shoes before entering the living room.

Nadeko was dressed less provocatively than usual but with some skin showing still. Tsukihi could smell shampoo and glimpsed wet drops dripping from Nadeko's hair. The wetness made her hair darker than usual, almost as dark as her own.

Nadeko awkwardly stood by the foyer until Tsukihi patted the space next to her.

"Thanks for coming by. How are you Nadeko-chan?"

Nadeko still kept her distance despite the fact that the two of them were sitting on the same couch. "Uh, I'm fine. And you?" She spoke quietly, as if telling a secret, her shoulders slightly raised. She was like some small animal quivering in fear before something scarier.

It was that feeling and atmosphere that convinced Tsukihi to have some teasing fun with Nadeko.

"I'm doing fine. However, there has been something bothering me lately." Nadeko looked up, a small sense of concern in her eyes. "What's the matter? Did something happen? Your boyfriend?"

Tsukihi allowed a small smile before continuing with her plan. "Well, it has to do something with him, but not really. Nadeko, do you promise not to tell anyone?"

Nadeko nodded, her eyes entirely focused on the other girl. Tsukihi leaned closer to her. "Lately my breasts have been hurting. Aching, even. I don't know what to do!"

"A-Aching?"

"Yes, yes, and its giving me great pain."

"Tsukihi, maybe its because you don't wear a bra." Nadeko shyly suggested, trying not to look at Tsukihi's chest. Tsukihi noticed that her yukata was slipping past her collarbone. She decided not to adjust it.

"But that's not it, Nadeko-chan! Sometimes my lower stomach itches, and even though I scratch it, the itch doesn't go away! Its been so bad I can't sleep!"

Nadeko's cheeks turned red, just a bit, but enough for Tsukihi to notice. "Eh? Nadeko-chan, are you blushing? Is there something you know that I don't?"

Nadeko swallowed audibly. "I…I…I don't know anything."

Tsukihi scooted much closer to Nadeko, feeling the drops of water land on her sleeve. "Nadeko, does that happen to you too? Do you know what to do about it?"

Nadeko was quiet, her head bowed.

Did she go too far?

"Neh, neh, Nadeko-chan, there's no need to be so serious!"

Nadeko looked up, her eyes shiny. "Tsukihi, don't you feel…dirty for feeling that way?"

"Hm? Not at all. Should I?"

Nadeko chewed on her lips. Tsukihi wished she didn't do that. Her friend had such pink, supple lips, the envy of other girls in their class. Not that she would say it. She found herself looking at Nadeko, no, scrutinizing her in a strange manner.

She paid it no mind. She needed to focus on Nadeko. She had missed her so much.

"Its my body, I feel how I want, how I want."

Nadeko nodded. "I see."

They were quiet for awhile, save for the sound of their breathing. Tsukihi cleared her throat again. "So, Nadeko, what do you recommend I do to get rid of the pain? Hmm?"

Nadeko fiddled with her hands. "Umm…can't you ask your mom?" Tsukihi shook her head.

Silence again. This wasn't going anywhere, Tsukihi fumed. She wanted to talk about gross things and such with Nadeko and see her undoubtedly cute reactions. But even Nadeko herself seemed abnormal today. Tsukihi scooted closer to her until they were both touching shoulders. Tsukihi began to absentmindedly run Nadeko's hair through her fingers, trying to think of something to talk about.

Her hair was finally dry and felt like newly spun silk. It smelled faintly of a floral shampoo.

"Tsukihi…?" Nadeko looked at her, a little fearful.

"Your hair smells wonderful, Nadeko-chan. What shampoo do you use? Its so soft and fluffy! Wah!"

"Ah…its an herbal one. My mom gave it to me because she said I've been getting split ends a lot."

"I see, I see. Speaking of which, I haven't washed yet…"

Nadeko recoiled a bit which made Tsukihi chuckle. "You didn't take a bath last night?"

Tsukihi shook her head and continued stroking Nadeko's hair, her head resting on Nadeko's small shoulder. She was all skin and bones but it was comfortable nonetheless. "I should probably take one. It feels like so much effort to prepare a bath and everything after it."

Nadeko smiled, looking at her. "I understand. I guess you're really sensitive to the heat." Tsukihi yawned. "No, it's more like I'm already warm enough. See?"

Tsukihi, without thinking, grabbed Nadeko's hand and placed it on her chest. Nadeko's small, smooth hands were as cold as frosted glass, minus the moisture. Or now there was, because of her own sweat.

"Oh…Oh! I-I-I see, you were right, you are…really warm." Nadeko's hand wandered lower until she flinched and pulled back. The welcome coolness disappeared and Tsukihi mentally whined. Or did she, and Nadeko didn't notice?

"You, on the other hand, are really cold. Did you have the A/C on really high or something?" Tsukihi wondered aloud as she started stroking Nadeko's thighs. They were so pale and soft, unlike Karen's, who's were always tan and tough. Nadeko seemed like she would tear and fall apart if Tsukihi were to push harder.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I like it when it's cold."

Tsukihi pinched Nadeko's leg slightly. Who else did this? Was she the only one? She would've rather liked it that way, to be the only one who knew about Nadeko's secrets. How she felt. How she smelled.

"I see."

Nadeko winced a bit and her hands planted themselves firmly on her thighs. "Tsukihi, please don't do that."

Tsukihi rolled downwards and placed her head on Nadeko's lap, looking up at the other girl. "Am I too…affectionate?"

Nadeko shook her head. "No, I just, I don't like pain. Its…scary." Her hands shook a bit.

"Did…someone hurt you?" Tsukihi asked, now fiddling with Nadeko's blouse hem, studying the material. Nadeko paused and answered slowly. "Well, something did happen, but it won't ever again, so I'll be alright. It just really scared me."

Tsukihi could feel the other girl tremble. Was it the weight? The remembered memory? Tsukihi stood up and sat next to Nadeko with an inch between them. "Do you want me and Karen to beat them up? I can do it by myself if you want."

"You…don't have to. Its taken care of. Thank you though." Nadeko sighed, finally at ease. She relaxed and leaned further into the couch. Tsukihi watched and then stood up. "Are you thirsty? I can make you something." Nadeko looked thoughtful and answered. "Juice is fine."

She returned shortly with a glass, once again sitting closely with Nadeko. The air seemed warmer, even though Tsukihi didn't change the temperature.

Nadeko spoke first. "Tsukihi…do you remember how we met?"

Tsukihi closed her eyes and smiled. "Yes. You were so cute."

Nadeko blushed again. "That's-um-okay."

Tsukihi grinned. "Its true. You are oh so very cute."

Nadeko turned her head downwards. "I…if you say so, Rara."
A delightful feeling sprung within Tsukihi at the mention of that name. That nickname especially given to her, a gift, from Nadeko. It trickled down from her heart to her feet, warming everything in between. She couldn't help herself and hugged Nadeko.

"So cute! Cute! Nothing could describe how cute you are!"

"Tsukihi!"

However, Tsukihi had put too much force into the hug and pushed Nadeko further into the couch. They were both sprawled out, the juice spilling everywhere. "Oops."

"TSUKIHI! MY MOM BOUGHT THIS FOR ME! Now she's going to get mad, oh no, oh no-" Nadeko squirmed underneath her, her voice rising in pitch. Tsukihi gently grasped her shoulder. "Its ok, you can use our washer and you can take a bath. I'll take care of it, ok?"

This had always happened. Something bad. Nadeko would cry. Tsukihi would try her best to calm her down. Usually she wasn't the cause. Nadeko's eyes brimmed with tears but she nodded and they bought got up. "Ah, I got splashed too. Oh well."

Tsukihi led Nadeko to the washing room and undressed quickly with a tug of her obi. She wasn't wearing a bra, only panties, and took those off as well. Nadeko on the other hand, carefully removed her cardigan. "You're so confident, Rara-chan."

The nickname again. Pride swelled up. Tsukihi posed gracefully as best as she could, grinning. "Why, thank you Nadeko! I try so hard, you know!" Nadeko smiled as well, chuckling even. She removed the rest of her clothes as well and Tsukihi prepared the machine. "It'll take a while but for now we can take a bath! Like old times!" Tsukihi chirped, clapping her hands.

Nadeko nodded, her arms clasped around her chest. They walked to the bath. Tsukihi prepared the bathtub and motioned to the faucets nearby. "You can wash yourself there. There should be soap and stuff, if not, tell me." Nadeko walked over and sat down, starting to wash her hair. The bath faucet grumbled as water went through. Steam rose as Tsukihi hummed happily. She joined Nadeko and the two girls began washing their hair and bodies. Tsukihi could feel Nadeko's gaze at some times, especially around her legs.

When was the last time they had taken a bath together? Sometime before middle school, she supposed, while washing her feet. If she could sneak glances…

Nadeko's body seemed even more smaller now without the clothes. Had she lost weight? Or we she just that petite? Her chest was nearly the same size as hers. Nadeko washed her body carefully and in a polite manner, as if she was worried someone was going to grade her technique. Tsukihi promptly splashed water at her.

"TSUKIHI!" Nadeko, flustered, instinctively grabbed her sides.

Tsukihi giggled and continued to do so even when Nadeko splashed her back. She moved closer to Nadeko, stroking her arms. "Do you want me to wash your back? Huh?"

Nadeko, pouting, nodded once.

Such small shoulders! And they were so pale! And with the added water, Nadeko's skin was incredibly smooth, slippery even. So different from Onii-chan, his broad, strong shoulders with small scars. Tsukihi took great care washing Nadeko, not wanting to leave red marks or accidentally hurt her.

She finished and Nadeko turned her head slightly. "Do you…want me to do the same?"

"Yes, please!"

Nadeko seemed just as gentle as Tsukihi, if not more cautious. There were times that Tsukihi could only feel the touch of the cloth and soap rather than another's fingers. Nadeko finished rather quickly as well. They rinsed off and made their way to the bath, Tsukihi walking at a slightly slower pace to see Nadeko's backside.

Nadeko entered first and automatically cowered underneath the water surface. But it was clear and one could see everything. Tsukihi entered after putting her hair up, stretching as much as she could without taking up Nadeko's space.

"Ahhh, it feels so good."

"I agree. Thank you Rara."

"Neh, neh, Naa-chan, when I take baths I feel much better."

"That's good."

"But sometimes that weird ache returns and even a bath can't help. What else could I do?"

Nadeko let out an exasperated sigh. "Tsukihi, I can't believe you're talking about this again."

Tsukihi pouted. "But its really important to me! I can't tell anyone else but you! I trust you."

Nadeko turned a bit towards the side, not looking at her. "Naa-chan…" Nadeko finally huffed and turned back around. "Okay, okay, I get it. Well, I've heard, and I haven't tried it all, but, massages help."

"Massages?"

"Yes."

"Massaging where it hurts?"

"Yes."

Tsukihi was careful to not smile as she slowly spread her legs apart and placed a hand near her privates. "Well, it hurts here."

Nadeko turned red again, even darker. "Tsu-Tsu-Tsukihi! You're not—You're—You shouldn't do that!" She turned away again but didn't leave the bath. Tsukihi giggled. "Naa-chan, its my body. I can do what I want with it. Or..." She moved closer to Nadeko, leaning towards her, letting her body float. "…do you not like that?"

"I…I don't like that. You…shouldn't show that to other people."

"Not even my closest, dearest friend?"

Nadeko turned around, tears running down her cheeks. "That's…something you should show to someone you love. Not a friend."

Tsukihi leaned closer to her. "But I do love you Naa-chan. Oh. So. Very. Much." She whispered into the other girl's ear. Nadeko whimpered and pushed her away. "Tsukhi! I want to leave!"

She sighed. She knew this would happen. She came on too strong to her childhood friend. She had always teased little Nadeko and Nadeko would go along with it and laugh. But this time…tears were streaming down her face. And it was Tsukihi's fault.

Tsukihi leaned closer and began to gently wipe away her tears. She wanted to taste them but decided that was for another time. Nadeko simply closed her eyes, as if to shut herself away from the world, breathing shallowly and hiccupping at times.

"I'm sorry Nadeko. I'm sorry. Don't cry."

"Its…because…you were…acting…strange…"

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just…wanted to understand how I was feeling lately…" Tsukihi spoke slowly, allowing herself to vocalize her innermost thoughts. Thoughts she didn't share with anyone, not even Karen. "…you know, I really miss you. You worried me so much when I heard you went to the hospital."

Nadeko calmed down but tears still streamed down her face, her eyes still tightly shut. Tsukihi continued. "I…heard about what happened and I didn't think you were going to come back. But you did, and that made me so happy. I wanted to visit but I always felt weird for doing so. What a bad friend I am…"

Tsukihi let out a deep breath. "You know, my boyfriend? Lately he's been too touchy and I don't like it. I tell him and he promises to stop but he starts back up again. So I haven't really been seeing him and I think I might break up with him. I didn't understand why he wanted to be so physical."

"But then, I think of you, and your own body. I think about how much I want to touch it. To see how soft it is. I wanted…to see more. Feel more. I felt bad. So I decided not to see you. But, today, I really did want to see you. Not for any ulterior motives. Sometimes I just get these urges and its really hard for me to control them."

She looked into Nadeko's eyes, closed as they were, and gently brushed wet locks from her forehead. "That's no excuse, however. Please forgive me."

It wasn't in her own nature to be so calm and detailed with her emotions. Her own brother would accuse her of hysteria and the rest of her family never seemed to want to listen. And something like this…it was something too strange, too personal to share. But if it was Nadeko…

Nadeko had stopped crying and opened her eyes. Perhaps it was the heat that Nadeko's eyes were not that red nor swollen. Tsukihi scooted back a bit. The water was still warm.

Nadeko breathed, took a breath again, and let out a shaky gasp. Then… "Do you mean all of that? Is it true, Tsukihi?"
Tsukihi nodded, not trusting her voice.

Nadeko was silent once more. "I…didn't know you felt that way about me, so strongly."

Tsukihi didn't say anything. Until Nadeko touched her shoulder. "Nadeko?"

"…I…understand your feelings. But…physical…things scare me too. Umm…I don't know much about relationships, especially between two girls, but, I feel safe if its you, Rara-chan."

"Truly?"

Nadeko nodded. Maybe she didn't trust her voice either. Tsukihi wanted to hug her, but felt like she couldn't control herself after that. "Do…you want to get out of the bath? Before it gets cold? You can borrow my clothes."

"Yes please."

Tsukihi gave her a towel and they made their way upstairs to her room. Nadeko carefully sat on the bed as Tsukihi ran about trying to find clothes. She found two suitable yukatas and joined Nadeko on the bed. They dressed slowly and Tsukihi began to dry her hair carefully with her towel as Nadeko did the same.

Soon they were done. Tsukihi got up again, feeling restless. "I'll get a brush." Before Nadeko could answer she ran back down the stairs and came back up with the brush. She handed it to Nadeko, who hesitated. "What is it?"

"…Rara-chan, could you do it?"

"Of course I can!"

Thus began the rhythmic strokes of going up and down – even though Nadeko's hair was shorter than her own, she marveled at the strand's individual lengths. She wanted to make Nadeko's hair as pretty as it could be, if more. She was interrupted as Nadeko giggled faintly.

"What is it?"

"Its just…you're always so gentle with me, Rara-chan."

"Am I? Are you sure you aren't imagining it?"

"I know you are." Nadeko spoke softly yet firmly, a hint of a smirk in her voice. Tsukihi scowled back. "Well, are you telling me to be rougher than, Naa-chan? Huh?" Nadeko's shoulders flinched but Tsukihi went straight to her sides, tickling the other girl fiercely.

Nadeko laughed loudly. "No, please, don't!"

She fell to her side and Tsukihi straddled her, tickling her even more. "Tsuuuukiiiihiiii!" Nadeko squealed, unable to laugh anymore. Tsukihi stopped and laughed as well, watching the shaking Nadeko writhe in bed. Her yukata slid down to one shoulder, revealing Nadeko's smooth underarm.

Nadeko, still in the throes of laughter, did not notice Tsukihi's carefully lowering her body next to hers on the bed. Tsukihi lay beside her, gazing at Nadeko's face. Her neck was slender, her collarbone as well. The lines that connected her limbs and body together were seemingly never ending. She wanted to trace them.

Nadeko noticed Tsukihi's gaze and turned to her. The two girls lay there, simply observing each other's faces. Tsukihi spoke first. "You have such a strong gaze." Nadeko blushed again. "Y-Yeah, people told me that it's kind of creepy…"

Tsukihi shook her head. "Its not. Its lovely."

Nadeko did a little bow. "Thank you."

Tsukihi bit her lip and then… "May I touch your shoulder?"

Nadeko spoke quietly. "Yes."

Permission granted. Tsukihi carefully lowered her hand towards Nadeko's shoulder. She traced an invisible line, from the top near her neck to where the yukata fabric cut her off. Nadeko's skin seemed even softer than before, as if the previous layer from earlier today was shed. Nadeko's scent mingled with Tsukihi's own, creating an interesting smell that made Tsukihi feel prideful.

Tsukihi cupped Nadeko's shoulder and squeezed, not too hard. An extremely pleasant feeling that made her want to do it more. Tsukihi moved closer and laid her head in the nook of Nadeko's neck, feeling the scents from the bath hit her strongly than before. Intoxicating. She wanted to burrow more and more into Nadeko.

To make a safe, warm nest.

Nadeko stayed quiet throughout the whole thing, but cuddled closer to Tsukihi when she nuzzled into her neck.

Tsukihi closed her eyes and murmured. "You're so soft, Naa-chan. I'm jealous. "

"Thank you. Umm…Rara-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Could…could you touch me more?"

Tsukihi smiled and nuzzled further into Nadeko's neck until she could feel the girl's neck on her lips. She planted a small kiss. "Of course I can." Nadeko let out a small squeal. "Tsu-Tsukihi!"

She loved hearing Nadeko's small cute noises. Tsukihi turned her attention towards Nadeko's collarbone, caressing it tenderly. She laid her head on Nadeko's chest then, carefully listening to the heartbeat within. It beat fleetingly.

"You're so cute, Naa-chan." Tsukihi whispered.

"…you too, Rara-chan." Nadeko whispered back.

They slept after that and woke after Karen returned. Nadeko called home and she was able to stay for the night. Nothing else had happened but that was fine for Tsukihi. There was going to be more time for them to be together anyway.

TO BE CONTINUED