The 12 Hours Of Halloween
By: Sedi
A/N: This is a fic that I did a LONG time ago and had it off of ff.net, but I decided to put it back on. It's old, so of course it sucks a bit, but I think it's the only humor that I was able to successfully do. ^_^'
The 12 Hours of Halloween
Duo slammed the door of Heero's house and walked away, obviously ticked. Heero sighed, wondering where he was going to go to next. They just had a fight about who's Gundam killed more Mobile Suits, and they both were screaming on the top of their lungs to defeat their opponent.
Duo stopped walking, and a smile spreaded across his face. It was twenty minutes before noon, just enough time to pull off his plan...
On the first hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Batman in a pear tree!
Heero heard a noise and went outside to see a chubby kid in a Batman costume hanging from Heero's pear tree by his underwear, screaming.
"Go away, kid. I'm not passing out candy." Heero slammed the door shut.
On the second hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Two kidnapped pilots!
It was one o'clock now. Heero decided to go outside to shoot the boy if he was still there. When he opened the door, he not only saw that the boy was still there, but Quatre and Wufei was tied to the very same tree.
"I'm gonna kill you!" Heero screamed. "GET AWAY FROM MY TREE!"
Not even letting them reply, he ran back into the house, slamming the door shut a second time.
On the third hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Three confused Maguanacs!
Heero already saw that this was going to be a pattern, so he walked outside at two o'clock, hoping to catch the intruder, but was met with a surprise. Three Maguanacs were tied to the lamp post by the sidewalk infront of his house.
"Why me? WHY ME?" Heero thought that he was going insane. He turned to slam the door behind him again, but he did it too soon, and got whapped in the butt. Heero yelped and ran inside as fast as he could, leaving the door open.
On the fourth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Four backyard Gundams!
Three o'clock. Heero peeked outside the door to see what awaited him, but there was nothing new or surprising to him. Only seven people tied up and some kid in a strange costume hanging around in a tree, his underwear stuck to a branch. Curious, Heero went outside, and circled around the house to the backyard.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
All of the Gundams were in the yard except Deathscythe. It was becoming quite apparent to Heero who was doing this, but he didn't want to give up, so he went back inside his house to wait for his next "preasent."
On the fifth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Five baby pictures!
Four o'clock. Sighing, Heero walked out, nearly smashing his nose on a bulliten board that was too close to the door for comfort. Heero looked at the five pictures, and his eyes widened.
They were... Heero's baby pictures!!
"DUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
SLAM! Heero was back in the house.
On the sixth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Number six in the apple tree!
Heero was scared. It was five o'clock, and his sixth gift was out there... outside the safety of his home... Heero went outside, and saw Zechs in the apple tree that was next to the pear tree. He and the kid were in an arguement over who had the coolest mask.
Heero felt like fainting, but instead returned to his bedroom. THEN fainted.
On the seventh hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Seven loaded pistols!
Heero made a mental note to slaughter Duo when he gets his hands on him, and walked outside at six o'clock. The sun was setting already, and Heero WOULD have admired the colors in the sky if it wasn't for those dang guns shooting at him when he opened the door!
Heero's fast reflexes allowed him to dodge out of the guns' way. When the firing stopped, he stood up to the door and saw seven guns pointed at the door with strings attached to the triggers, going up, around a nail on the roof, and then tied to the doorknob.
"Is Duo trying to kill me?" Heero asked out loud. He looked at all of his "gifts" then went back into the house and waited for another hour...
On the eighth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Eight killer swords!
Heero knew that Duo would kill him to prove himself right, so Heero was careful when opening his door. He opened it, and jumped inside on his couch by it. Eight swords and katanas came swooshing by him, sticking to the wall. Heero closed the door, heart pounding, and layed back on the couch to think of revenge.
On the ninth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Nine OZ soldiers!
At eight o'clock, Heero heard someone knock on the door. Carefully, he opened it and was faced with nine OZ soldiers. They had moved away the bulliten board with the forbidden pictures and walked up to the door.
"Are you Heero Yuy?" One asked.
"Omae O Korosu." Heero quickly wipped out his gun out of Spandex Space and shot all nine of the soldiers. He walked back in, leaving the corpses on his doorstep until he received all of his gifts.
On the tenth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Ten video cameras!
It was ten o'clock. Heero opened the door. To be faced with nine video cameras pointing in different directions. Heero ran to the back and saw another video camera that was aimed at the Gundams. He took out his gun a second time and shot it. He went back to the front and shot the other ten that was aiming at the tied-up people, the two masked people hanging from trees, the dead corpses, and the door.
After finishing the job, Heero went back inside, exhausted.
On the eleventh hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Eleven Relenas screaming!
Heero went out at ten o'clock, hoping that it would all be over. At first nothing happened. Nothing was different. He circled around the house. All of the Gundams were there. Nothing different. The corpses hasn't been touched. But everyone that had been captured was gaping.
Heero turned around quickly to see eleven LARGE tv screens facing towards him. On them was a picture of Relena, eyes closed, screaming. But there was no sound coming out of it.
"Hey! Is this the remote?" Heero turned around to see the remote at Abdul's feet. Abdul kicked the remote, pressing the mute button.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Heero ran inside, hands over ears, trying to excape the sound of Relena screaming his name.
"DUO IS GOING TO DIE!"
On the twelth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Twelve shiny apples!
Someone knocked on the door. Rubbing his eyes sleepily, Heero opened the door and was knocked out instantly when someone threw twelve apples at him. Duo walked up to the door with apples in his arm, just in time to see Wufei throw the apples while Quatre ran away.
"Aw man! I was going to do that!" Duo dropped the apples and whined.
"Shut up!" Wufei snapped. "He tied me up! Yuy deserved it!"
Duo glared at him, then an idea popped into his head... He looked at his watch. It was almost midnight, just enough time...
The End
Moral: Don't tick Duo off, and never keep trees in your front yard!
By: Sedi
A/N: This is a fic that I did a LONG time ago and had it off of ff.net, but I decided to put it back on. It's old, so of course it sucks a bit, but I think it's the only humor that I was able to successfully do. ^_^'
The 12 Hours of Halloween
Duo slammed the door of Heero's house and walked away, obviously ticked. Heero sighed, wondering where he was going to go to next. They just had a fight about who's Gundam killed more Mobile Suits, and they both were screaming on the top of their lungs to defeat their opponent.
Duo stopped walking, and a smile spreaded across his face. It was twenty minutes before noon, just enough time to pull off his plan...
On the first hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Batman in a pear tree!
Heero heard a noise and went outside to see a chubby kid in a Batman costume hanging from Heero's pear tree by his underwear, screaming.
"Go away, kid. I'm not passing out candy." Heero slammed the door shut.
On the second hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Two kidnapped pilots!
It was one o'clock now. Heero decided to go outside to shoot the boy if he was still there. When he opened the door, he not only saw that the boy was still there, but Quatre and Wufei was tied to the very same tree.
"I'm gonna kill you!" Heero screamed. "GET AWAY FROM MY TREE!"
Not even letting them reply, he ran back into the house, slamming the door shut a second time.
On the third hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Three confused Maguanacs!
Heero already saw that this was going to be a pattern, so he walked outside at two o'clock, hoping to catch the intruder, but was met with a surprise. Three Maguanacs were tied to the lamp post by the sidewalk infront of his house.
"Why me? WHY ME?" Heero thought that he was going insane. He turned to slam the door behind him again, but he did it too soon, and got whapped in the butt. Heero yelped and ran inside as fast as he could, leaving the door open.
On the fourth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Four backyard Gundams!
Three o'clock. Heero peeked outside the door to see what awaited him, but there was nothing new or surprising to him. Only seven people tied up and some kid in a strange costume hanging around in a tree, his underwear stuck to a branch. Curious, Heero went outside, and circled around the house to the backyard.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
All of the Gundams were in the yard except Deathscythe. It was becoming quite apparent to Heero who was doing this, but he didn't want to give up, so he went back inside his house to wait for his next "preasent."
On the fifth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Five baby pictures!
Four o'clock. Sighing, Heero walked out, nearly smashing his nose on a bulliten board that was too close to the door for comfort. Heero looked at the five pictures, and his eyes widened.
They were... Heero's baby pictures!!
"DUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
SLAM! Heero was back in the house.
On the sixth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Number six in the apple tree!
Heero was scared. It was five o'clock, and his sixth gift was out there... outside the safety of his home... Heero went outside, and saw Zechs in the apple tree that was next to the pear tree. He and the kid were in an arguement over who had the coolest mask.
Heero felt like fainting, but instead returned to his bedroom. THEN fainted.
On the seventh hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Seven loaded pistols!
Heero made a mental note to slaughter Duo when he gets his hands on him, and walked outside at six o'clock. The sun was setting already, and Heero WOULD have admired the colors in the sky if it wasn't for those dang guns shooting at him when he opened the door!
Heero's fast reflexes allowed him to dodge out of the guns' way. When the firing stopped, he stood up to the door and saw seven guns pointed at the door with strings attached to the triggers, going up, around a nail on the roof, and then tied to the doorknob.
"Is Duo trying to kill me?" Heero asked out loud. He looked at all of his "gifts" then went back into the house and waited for another hour...
On the eighth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Eight killer swords!
Heero knew that Duo would kill him to prove himself right, so Heero was careful when opening his door. He opened it, and jumped inside on his couch by it. Eight swords and katanas came swooshing by him, sticking to the wall. Heero closed the door, heart pounding, and layed back on the couch to think of revenge.
On the ninth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Nine OZ soldiers!
At eight o'clock, Heero heard someone knock on the door. Carefully, he opened it and was faced with nine OZ soldiers. They had moved away the bulliten board with the forbidden pictures and walked up to the door.
"Are you Heero Yuy?" One asked.
"Omae O Korosu." Heero quickly wipped out his gun out of Spandex Space and shot all nine of the soldiers. He walked back in, leaving the corpses on his doorstep until he received all of his gifts.
On the tenth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Ten video cameras!
It was ten o'clock. Heero opened the door. To be faced with nine video cameras pointing in different directions. Heero ran to the back and saw another video camera that was aimed at the Gundams. He took out his gun a second time and shot it. He went back to the front and shot the other ten that was aiming at the tied-up people, the two masked people hanging from trees, the dead corpses, and the door.
After finishing the job, Heero went back inside, exhausted.
On the eleventh hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Eleven Relenas screaming!
Heero went out at ten o'clock, hoping that it would all be over. At first nothing happened. Nothing was different. He circled around the house. All of the Gundams were there. Nothing different. The corpses hasn't been touched. But everyone that had been captured was gaping.
Heero turned around quickly to see eleven LARGE tv screens facing towards him. On them was a picture of Relena, eyes closed, screaming. But there was no sound coming out of it.
"Hey! Is this the remote?" Heero turned around to see the remote at Abdul's feet. Abdul kicked the remote, pressing the mute button.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Heero ran inside, hands over ears, trying to excape the sound of Relena screaming his name.
"DUO IS GOING TO DIE!"
On the twelth hour of Halloween that baka gave to me,
Twelve shiny apples!
Someone knocked on the door. Rubbing his eyes sleepily, Heero opened the door and was knocked out instantly when someone threw twelve apples at him. Duo walked up to the door with apples in his arm, just in time to see Wufei throw the apples while Quatre ran away.
"Aw man! I was going to do that!" Duo dropped the apples and whined.
"Shut up!" Wufei snapped. "He tied me up! Yuy deserved it!"
Duo glared at him, then an idea popped into his head... He looked at his watch. It was almost midnight, just enough time...
The End
Moral: Don't tick Duo off, and never keep trees in your front yard!