A/N: This fic is going to be pretty depressing, I'm sorry. Someone dies and Harry blames himself.
Disclaimer: Characters all belong to J.K.Rowling.
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Sorry isn't enough
Hermione hadn't been at breakfast or lunch in the Great Hall, and Harry was beginning to get worried. She hadn't been in Tansfiguration, one of her favourite classess, and not even McGonagall knew where she was. He walked into the Potions classroom with Ron, smiling at Draco as they walked past. He'd told Ron and Hermione about Draco yesterday and suprisingly Ron had taken it really well. Harry had thought that Ron wouldn't talk to him for at least a month after he'd found out, so it had come as a bit of a shock when he'd woken up that morning to Ron shaking him to make him come down for breakfast. He wasn't sure about Hermione though, he hadn't seen her so he couldn't tell, he only hoped that she wasn't off in a corner somewhere sulking about it. As everyone sat down McGonagall rushed into the room.
Everybody to your common rooms now!' she barked Potter, Weasley come with me.' So saying she swept out of the room closely followed by Harry and Ron. Draco shot a worried glance at Harry but he just shrugged and kept walking.
Once they were out of the dungeons Proffessor McGonagall relaxed a bit, at least enough to give them a sympathetic look that is.
Dumbledore needs to see you in his office now, something has happened. The password is "chocolate frogs". Please hurry.' She said and swept off, leaving them both standing with stunned expressions on their faces.
I guess we'd better go' Harry said, turning to face Ron I wonder whats happened that could be bad enough to have to end classes?'
I don't know' Ron shrugged But I'm pretty sure that we'll find out soon enough,'
They walked the rest of the way to Dumbledore's office in silence, only speaking when Harry told the gargoyle the password. As they walked up the stairs, a growing feeling of apprehension began to fill Harry. He didn't know what had happened but he knew that what ever it was it had to be something bad. What if something had happened to Sirius? But he knew that that couldn't be right because why would they have called Ron as well?. The two boys stepped into Dumbledore's office, coming to an abrupt halt when they saw the grave look on Dumbledore's face. Harry's stomach sank, something truly terrible must have happened if Dumbledore was upset about it.
Harry, Ron, please sit' Dumbledore motioned to two chairs near his desk What I'm about to say isn't going to come easily and think that you will be better of sitting to hear this.' As Harry and Ron sat nervously in the two chairs Dumbledore continued
Something tragic has happened today and it involves you two on a personal level, now as I am sure you are aware, Miss Granger has not been seen today' Harry and Ron both nodded silently
Unfortunately the cause for her absence is most distressing and I believe that it would be best if you heard the reason from me.' He looked at them both and then continued gently I am truly sorry that this has happened, and it couldn't have happened to a nicer, more kind, and loving student. In all my years that I have taught at Hogwarts I have not had the pleasure of teaching a young lady as outstanding as Hermione was.' Ron's eyes widened and Harry mouthed a silent "no" as realisation dawned on them.
I am sorry' Dumbledore said
No' Ron cried No please, please let me be wrong, please Proffessor please tell me that she's just sick, she'll be back in the morning won't she, everything will be normal, please!'
I'm sorry Ron, Hermione was found earlier today in the library. She committed suicide.' Dumbledore spoke sternly but tried to put as much sympathy into his voice as he could.
Tears were streaming down Harry's face No she can't be dead, she can't be, she wouldn't have killed herself, she had no reason to die and every reason to live. She can't be dead' Harry trembled uncontrollably Proffessor you must be wrong. Why would Hermione kill herself? She had so much to live for. She was going to become a teacher here at Hogwarts, she was going to teach Arithmancy, that was her dream, she wouldn't have just left it. We were all going to go on a trip around the world when we finished Hogwarts you know, we'd been planning it for so long, we were going to go to France, and then she wanted to go to Bulgaria so that she could visit Viktor. We used to laugh that someday maybe I'd play proffessional quidditch and that I'd have to verse him, Hermione used to say that she'd have to have one side of her in the Bulgarian colours and one side in my colours because she wouldn't be able to choose which of us to go for. She was always so happy, why would she have killed herself. It must be a mistake, it must be!' Harry broke down, burying his head in his arms and sobbing. He couldn't bring himself to believe that Hermione could be dead. He couldn't bring himself to believe that what Dumbledore said could be true.
I'm so sorry, she left these for you though, we haven't opened them as they were adressed specifically to you.' Dumbledore said, handing Harry and Ron each a letter with their names written on the in Hermione's neat and careful hand-writing. Harry slowly opened his terrified of what he would find inside. He unfolded the letter and began to read:
Dearest Harry,
By the time you are reading this I will be gone, I'm sorry if this causes you any pain, thats not what I would wish on anyone especially you, but you do have Draco after all so he will be able to comfort you. Speaking of Malfoy, Harry, how could you? How could you love him? Why him? Harry why couldn't you see? I've loved you for so long but you never seemed to notice. Then you went and shoved it all back at me when you said that you loved him. It was bad enough finding out that you didn't love me and never would, then you had to tell me that he was a guy, and then to make it all worse you told me that it was Malfoy. All as if it was the most innocent thing in the world and that there couldn't possibly be anything wrong with it. Then there was the fact that you kept looking at Ron as if he might suddenly snap and go on a killing rampage or something because he was disgusted and upset about the whole thing. You never even thought to think about how I might be feeling, you just assumed that I'd be logical and not care who loved or why. Well to hell with bloody logic, I'm sick of it! I'm leaving, I can't stand this world anymore not with you and Malfoy together in front of my nose. Maye when I'm gone you'll spare some time to think about how poor smart little Mione felt, but by then it'll be too late. I'm sorry Harry, tell Viktor not to dwell on me, tell him to get on with his life for me will you, and don't even think about giving up Draco just because I'm gone. It's too late for that and there'd be absolutely no life in making your life hell because of me. I couldn't stand that. I guess where I'm going I'll see your parents, I'll say hi for them for you, I'll tell them that your ok, that your in good hands and that you've got all that you needed. I guess that I'm following in your mother's footsteps in a way, sacrificing myself for you. Please understand Harry that I love you so very much, enough to die for you and please try to remeber that this was my destiny, just like it is yours to survive and to live, to be somebody for the rest of the wizarding world to look up to, and maybe someday even the muggles wil remember you as a hero like Merlin was. Go on, make me proud, make your parents proud too. Help to prove Sirius's innocence, help to bring Wormtail to justice.
And most importantly Harry,
Live
I will love you for Eternity and more,
forever yours Hermione.
I killed her, Harry thought, It's all my fault, so many people loved her and I've gone and ruined their lives. Ron, Viktor, her parents, relatives, the teachers here, her friends, other students, Sirius, Remus, everyone who knew her she influenced and now she's gone, there'll be a hole in so many peoples lives. Even when she was about to kill herself she was still in a sense logical, still thinking of others above herself, I wish I was dead, but I can't, I can't kill myself, for her sake only, I couldn't betray her like that. Its my fault but I can't just give up. That wouldn't be fair to her memory. I can't just say sorry either, sorry isn't enough, sorry can't bring her back. Why are people always dying for me? It's not like I've really done anything to be special. I didn't do anything to earn the title of the Boy Who Lived, that was my mother's doing, if it hadn't been for her I wouldn't have lived. If it hadn't been for Lily and James Potter I wouldn't be alive. If it hadn't been for Ron and Hermione I couldn't have made it through Voldemort's attacks on me. They're the only reason that I survived. If it hadn't been for Cedric I never would have survived Voldemort's attack at he end of fourth year. He owed to all of the of the people who had sacrificed themselves for him to keep going. He knew that it truly was his destiny to bring Voldemort to an end. But right now he had to deal with his grief and help others with theirs. He silently vowed to Hermione to do what ever it took him to uphold her memory and realise her dreams for her.
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A/N: I'm sorry to all you Hermione fans, I'm sorry for killing her. I like her too. Please review still, there's a little box below especially for that purpose.