And He Cried
Spoilers for the season 4 episode "The Light"... this takes place during that episode. Jack pov.
----
Ah Daniel, you're doing it again.
As I rush forwards to grasp your arm, I can see the sheen of recently shed tears on your cheeks. You're crying.
You're always doing that. Ever since I first met you. We go to Abydos. You cry. We leave Abydos. You cry. You come down off of drugs. You cry. You go berserk, you cry. Your wife dies, and, damn it, you're allowed to cry then...
Honestly Daniel. I used to think it to be a sign of weakness, to see another man cry. I still do sometimes. Yup, but I've learned to make major exceptions when it comes to you. Daniel, you're just different.
Yeah, sure, my relationship with you is different then, say, between Teal'c & I. Teal'c is my equal in a lot of things. We can understand each other. Us... I mean look at us. Sometimes we still have troubles connecting... even after 5 years. We share no common interests. You're smarter than me... maybe smarter than Sam. We do nothing together except share the occasional beer... in relative discomfort at that. And we see each other almost every day at work. That's it. Yet I treat you like I should no other man... I treat you a bit like the son I lost...
Isn't that how it works Daniel? Isn't that why you turned your head and said my name with such heart-breaking trust? You could bring yourself out of whatever it is that has driven you to stand at the very edge of your balcony wanting to jump because you knew I would be able to save you.
Yeah, somedays I wish I could beat you senseless and knock some of that trust and naiveté out of you... but then who would save you Danny? Who would wipe away your tears and tell you it's okay?
You wipe those irritating traces away from your face yourself as I lead you down to my car, saving me the embarrassment of doing so myself. I watch out of the corner of my eye as you silently sit there in the passenger seat as I start down the drive. You're obviously unwell. Sick. You're skin looks sallow. As your eyes look out of the window I know that they aren't really seeing anything.
I am concerned. I don't want you to be sick, I don't want you to be unwell, and I definitely don't want you to try to suicide again like you just tried to and like Lieutenant Barber did. I love you. Like a Colonel does all of his subordinates. But more than that I guess. Like a good friend you never really had, and a little bit like a father loves his son.
And you cry.
----
---
--
-
Dedicated: To my male friends... they know who they are... who feel and hurt and, yes, cry just as much as everyone else, but insist on trying to keep it hidden. -- I love them to death.