Visions and Tears
by ^death^ Himura
Note: I am death Himura and I am also ^death^ Himura. Just didn't want to give trouble to the ff.net team for my specially characterised nick. ^_^. So anyway, as per usual, characters do not belong to me. Have fun, and for Final Fantasy 7 lovers... I guess this is for you guys. Just don't flame me for my obviously horrid writing styles. ^_^. Oh yeah. The lyrics don't belong to me either. Kekeke. They're from N*Sync. I just thought the song suited my present melancholic mood. Yup yup yup!!!
The pond surface rippled, lights shimmering and reflections distorted. As it slowly settled back into a smooth mask, another disruption and the once-calm surface broke again.
Farewell tranquility...
Farewell to those I love...
Farewell to my lost innocence...
Farewell...
My love...
When
the visions around you
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that's around you
Are secrets and lies
Tifa sighed and propped her chin with her hand. She lay down on her stomach, facing the small pond. Her other hand grasped around her, looking for something to fling into the shimmering translucent pond. Object found, she flung it carelessly, her eyes transfixed, as though the ripples soothed her tired and aching heart.
Another ripple.
Another shimmer.
Another loss.
I'll
be your strength
I'll be your hope
"Open invitation?" asked a shadowy figure before her. She didn't bother looking up, her eyes still glued to the hazy moon in the pond's reflection. Only when the stranger posed his question again did she look up... locking her gaze onto Cid. She gave a simple shrug and then went back to idly watching the pond, her hand methodically searching for a pebble or rock to disrupt the surface with.
"Tifa..." no answer.
"Tifa. Look at me." again no answer. Cid's brow furrowed and he leaned forward to grab the girl's shoulders, shaking her as he did. Her body was limp, immobile. As though devoid of life.
Tifa Lockheart, active member of AVALANCHE, not alive?
Keeping
your faith when it's gone
The one you should call
Was standing here all along
"You're not Tifa." and he pushed her aside. Still no response. Cid froze. Perhaps this truly wasn't Tifa... maybe one of Hojo's clones. He watched her as she now sat, arms hugging her bare knees. The wind caressed her pale and ashen face, her long knee-length tresses pooled around her. Her eyes were distant orbs. Unresponsive.
Wandering.
What happened?
And
I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
'Til the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you
*~* flashback *~*
"Cloud..."
"What is it Tifa?"
"About... about Aeris."
"What is it?"
"You love her don't you?"
Silence...
And she knew...
"Cloud?"
"I don't know Tifa..." for a brief moment, hope flared brightly in her heart...
"I don't know. Maybe I am... just that. When she's around. I feel different. You know. No... you don't. It's just that... she does something to me. In me. I feel like when she's around... I can do things I thought I couldn't before. An inspiration. Yeah... that's what she is." said spiky-haired male. He turned to face the dark-haired female, a smile on his face. Light sparkling in his Mako-blue eyes.
His childhood friend.
A friend.
That was what she will ever be.
"Oh." was her simple reply. She wasn't looking at him, instead opting to see the mud caked on her boots. Her fists clenched and she fought an internal battle of not wanting to let him see how that mere sentence... or paragraph affected her.
Come to think of it. He never did talk to or about her in paragraphs. And yet for the Ancient...
The Ancient...
Aeris...
Aeris Gainsborough...
"I... I've got to go check up on Marlene." she whispered huskily, throat constricted, heart shattering. Cloud spoke not a word, turning back to scrutinise the various armaments on the metal table. There was a thud, a clink as metal hit metal and then light footsteps. She was gone.
*~* end flashback *~*
I've
loved you forever
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore
"You love him don't you?" strangely, the usually boisterous and rowdy pilot was strangely soft-spoken, his words aimed towards the silent female by the pond.
"It was that obvious wasn't it?" was the dead reply. Cid edged slightly nearer. "Obvious to all... but him..." she continued. Tifa turned her head to look at the moon, her eyes glimmering in the luminous light. Then she faced him, her - an unreadable mask. Blank for all to see. Yet a strange flicker in her eyes.
"I'm a fool Cid. An idiotic, moronic and pathetic fool. To think... to think *all* these years I harboured feelings for him! Of all people. A chauvinistic... masochistic... ambition-fuelled and egoistic idiot!" she managed to say in a somewhat even tone.
"Heh... you forgot cold and cynical too." the latter quipped but his joke wasn't taken light-heartedly.
"Cold... yes. Only to me. Cynical... very much... until he met she." she turned her head away, her fists trembling with unvoiced rage. "No... I don't love him. I loved him. Cold, unfeeling bastard." she spluttered.
"Tifa..." the AVALANCHE member suddenly got to her feet.
"Everything's over now. She died. He's off to find her soul. Might as well move on." she spoke, more to herself than for anyone else around her, namely Cid.
"I don't need him. I don't need him. I don't need him..." her voice slowly faltered and the courageous girl crumpled to the floor. Body trembling, eyes shut tightly, as though preventing tears from running down her cheeks.
I
give you my word
I give you my heart
(Give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow
Forever has now begun
He didn't even think.
He just reacted.
And Cid usually took pride in being able to think before he acted.
One moment he saw a former comrade, who was strong on the battlefield, quick with the mind and with a warm and giving heart. The next he saw her helpless, demoralising and degrading herself. Confessing to an unrequited love she had for so long.
In a moment of compassion and empathy, Cid embraced her. He knew her hurt, understood her pain. And somehow wished... pardon the cliché... he could make it all go away.
And that instant... she cried.
Just
close your eyes each lovin' day
(Each lovin', each lovin' day)
And know this feeling won't go away
(No)
'Til the day my life is through
"Cid..."
"Aa?"
"Have you ever felt... alone... torn... hopeless.. used and betrayed all at once?"
"Well... there was a time... Tifa?"
"I feel alone... I'm already torn... I'm hopeless..."
"You're not Tifa!"
"And how can you be so sure? You don't even know me."
"I may not know you as well as Barret or as Jesse, Wedge and Biggs do. But I know you well enough to know that you're a great person." he heard a snort and then a laugh, so dry and hollow it frightened him a little.
"It's a pity then Cid... that you do not know me at all..." she whispered and then turned around to caress his face. Her fingers were light and feathery and Cid got a closer glimpse of her face.
She used to be so alive... so vibrant... so active. And now... such a direct contrast.
Gaunt, with sunken cheeks. Her chocolate-brown almond-shaped shaped eyes were dull. The sparkle gone... lost within the haven of stars above. She cupped his face and leaned closer.
"Thank you Cid... farewell..." she whispered, eyes locking on to his, before she kissed him.
This
I promise you
This I promise you
It was the instant their lips met that he saw flashback's of her past.
The death of her father...
"It's all Sephiroth's fault! It's his fault! Don't die papa! Don't... please... don't leave me... don't leave me alone..."
The death of her comrades...
The death of others so close and precious to her...
And then the loss.
Whilst the latter, so engrossed in the images she had passed on to his mind, Tifa moved back. She lightly cupped his face one more time, feeling the roughness of the stubble on his chin before standing up; a small smile on her face. Her gaze darting back to the sky.
"I will join you father. I won't be alone. Not anymore."
Over
and over I fall
(Over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life, baby
I just wouldn't be living at all
When Cid awoke hours later from the dreams that perplexed him, he found himself in his room, on his bed.
"Where's Tifa?" he asked Cait who had suddenly wandered into his room. The mention of the name caused the cat's face to suddenly turn morose.
"Cait?"
"Erh... you didn't know? Oh yeah. You were out cold. So anyway... don't think you wanna know anyway."
"Where is she?"
"Er... heh... gone?"
"Where to?"
"Dunnoe. She just *poof*. Vanished ya know."
"What?!?!" the pilot leapt out of bed and ran out of the room. Moments later, his head popped back into the room.
"How long was I out?"
"Hmm... a few days."
"Specifically."
"A week."
"Shit!"
"Yeah. No kidding."
"No no... dammit. I'm going out for awhile."
"Yeah yeah. You always do huh?"
And
I will take you in my arms
(I will take you in my arms)
And hold you right where you belong
(Right where you belong)
'Til the day my life is through
This I promise you, baby
The garden was deserted and the pond surface was as calm as ever. Cid arrived, in a state of near undress and out of breath.
"Tifa... Tifa... where the heck are you?" he muttered, eyes frantically looking around, finding something. But what could it be? As if prayer heard, the cloud shading the garden from the sun moved away, letting the warm rays tumble down to earth. In the midst of the pond, something twinkled. Cid peered closer. He blinked.
"No..." down, wedged between the bed of the pond, a familiar looking metal clip twinkled brightly at him. As though winking. With the clip there... it could only mean one thing.
Every
word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you
Author's Notes: Okay. This fic sounded so... ridiculous. And ludicrous. Sorry... brain isn't functioning well again. Always happens when I have the flu. Bloody sogging flu. Hmpf! But anyway, to make it clear for dense people, Tifa is allegedly claimed to have taken her life. And for those of you who know me, you know I love her. I love everyone in Final Fantasy 7. And *especially* Reno. Gawd... is that guy cool or what? *drools with hearty eyes* But anyway, as I was saying, Tifa is sick and fed-up with everything and she feels there's nothing else to live for. Apparently Cloud has vanished to God knows where in a lame attempt to try and retrieve Aeris's soul. *shrugs and rolls eyes* So then. Yeah. That's about it. Review it ne? ^_^