"I just can't deal with this anymore. I can't live with someone who always has one foot out the door."

Lisa's words hurt. He'd heard them before, from previous partners. Lydia, Layla, Anna, Cassie. Heck, even Jo, who hadn't been looking for anything serious in the first place. No one stayed and he didn't blame them. They were all looking for love. For "the one". He hardly believed anything was meant to last long. His parents sure didn't.

His dad was a drunk, and a former Marine with PTSD, who had spent more time in bars and camped out in motels than he did with his wife and sons. After the divorce, he'd shacked up with a nurse he'd met after wrecking his car driving too fast in the winter. They split three years later, but not before having a kid together. To be fair, his mom didn't exactly stick around once he and his brother were old enough to be fully self-sufficient. And by that, he meant that she stayed long enough for Dean to be able to legally care for his younger brother. He would have preferred she'd waited until Sammy was already in university before deciding she needed to go "find herself".

As for Sammy? He thought he'd found "the one" in a pretty little blonde with a heart of gold. They'd even gotten far enough to get engaged. The "match made in heaven" went up in flames, however, when Jessica wanted kids. Sam just wasn't ready for that step and, truth be told, even Dean wasn't sure if his little brother would ever be ready.

The break-up had been particularly hard on Sam. He'd truly loved her. After, he'd gone on a pretty big downward spiral. He dropped out of Stanford and hooked up with this chick named Ruby, whom Dean was of the opinion was a total bitch. Thanks to her, he'd gotten a little too deep in experimenting with illegal substances. That had ended badly as well. Then he'd immediately fallen into a relationship with this asshole named Luke. He was worse that Ruby. In the end, Luke was in jail and Sammy was in the hospital. Man, if their father had ever known about one of his sons getting together with another man…

After that, he was so sure that, this time, he'd definitely found his one. Then Amelia's husband came back from war. Surprise! Guess who's not dead after all! She kept the dog.

So, no. He didn't blame Lisa. She had a kid to think about. He sort of knew it was over when four-year-old Ben had started trying to call him Dad. He just couldn't commit to them the way they wanted or deserved. It never would've worked for very long anyway. They would've just ended up like his parents, and the last thing he ever wanted was to become his father. Or his mother, for that matter.

Five months wasn't the longest Dean's ever been single. Actually, he didn't really mind it. His attitude towards relationships kind of made the unattached drifter lifestyle appealing to him. He could go where he wanted, when he wanted, and didn't have to answer to anyone. And, if he ever needed to scratch that age old itch, there were plenty of willing women in the local pubs or bars in whatever town or city he happened to be in. However, it was the same with friendships as it was romantic relationships. He had friends, sure, but they were spread out all over the country thanks to the way he wandered from place to place. He either utilized his skills as a mechanic or hustled pool to make enough for life on the road.

The place he was currently in was pretty nice. It had a few decent sized parks to walk or jog in. From what he'd seen of the locals these past few days, the population was fairly nice as well.

He sat in a booth at the diner just down the street from his motel. It boasted the "best pie in town". He was inclined to agree. Of the seven kinds of pie it served (each served on a different day of the week like the joint was one of those logic puzzles in those puzzle books he may or may not buy at gas stations and magazine stands), the three he'd tried so far were among the best he'd ever had in his life.

"Let me guess, the bacon cheeseburger with a side of fries, a beer, and the biggest slice of the pie of the day that you can get before we start charging double," the amused gravelly voice of the evening waiter stated as soon as he approached the booth. For the third evening in a row, Dean arrived just as the dinner rush had died down. He grinned up at the cheeky blue eyes of the otherwise serious looking man. It hadn't taken him long to realize there was much more to the stoic waiter than he showed to the world. By the end of his second visit to the diner, he'd managed to unearth the offbeat sense of warped humour the man possessed. His name tag read "Steve", but, on his third visit, the guy had admitted the tag had come with the apron and he hadn't bothered to ask for a proper one with his actual name. The guy had run an embarrassed hand through his already tousled dark brown hair and admitted his name was, in fact, Castiel – after the angel.

"That depends. What is the pie of the day?" It didn't matter what kind it was, he'd be getting the slice and they both knew it.

"Since it's Thursday, that would be pecan."

"Sounds great, Cas."

"You got it," Cas said with a thumbs up and an over exaggerated level of cheer. Dean smirked. He was a dorky little dude in sensible shoes and weird shirts.

"Name a place you've never been to, but always wanted to see," Cas demanded as they walked through the largest park in town. It hadn't taken long for Dean to see Castiel as one of his closest friends. His best friend, actually. They met up every Saturday to go for a run through the scenic area that was the Service-Hall Memorial Park – named after two cops who'd died in the line of duty some decades back. They typically ran once through the entire perimeter before taking a leisurely stroll, if the weather wasn't absolute crap.

"The Grand Canyon," he replied without even having to think about it. "Well, I've actually been there before with my dad and brother, but it was when I was, like, eight, and I don't really remember much. I don't think I was quite old enough to really appreciate the entire experience. At least, beyond riding a donkey that wouldn't quit farting the entire time." Castiel let out a startled laugh.

"You rode a farty donkey?"

Dean snorted. "That's what Sammy said when he was high on painkillers. I still can't believe he was able to remember anything about that trip. He was only four years old at the time."

"Because you rode a farty donkey," Cas smirked.

"Shut up." His words lacked any bite, accompanied by a grin that could be called affectionate. "So, Sammy called a few days ago."

"Oh? And how is the world's biggest little brother?"

"Great. He met a guy last week. Some janitor at a college somewhere, I dunno. I didn't really pay attention."

"So how deep into this one is he?" Cas quirked an eyebrow, knowing Sam's romantic history.

"Oh, can't you tell? It's true love!" Dean replied in fake enthusiasm.

"Hmm." Cas was distinctly unimpressed. It was hard to tell if it was over Sam's declaration or Dean's reaction. Possibly both… Probably both.

"So, how's it going with what's her name?"

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes. He took a seat on the edge of the huge fountain that was installed in the center of the park. "Meg and I are just really good friends. I feel I have been very clear on this point."

"Yeah, yeah," Dean brushed the protests aside, taking a seat beside him. "So, have you slept together yet?"

"You're an impossible horn dog," Castiel declared. "You do know that, right?" Dean just snickered in lieu of a response. "So have you thought any more about actually finding a place to live that isn't a rent-by-the-day crap hole with questionably clean bedding and a rodent that lives the bathroom?"

"What you got against Murray anyway?" Dean joked. "It's not like he's crawled up your pant leg."

"Dean, I'm being serious."

"Yes, I know, that is your serious face."

Castiel rolled his eyes again. "That was one time. Are you ever going to let it go?"

"Nope," he replied, giving a loud 'pop' on the p. Castiel sighed dramatically. "What's the big deal about getting a place anyhow? It's not like I'll be here forever."

Cas pursed his lips. "That's not the point. You've been living in that flea infested 'box in a wall' for over three months. I just think it would be nice to visit you in a place that doesn't require I sanitize myself every time I leave."

"First of all, it's hole in the wall. And dude, you're borderline OCD. You'd do that everywhere."

Castiel huffed in annoyance. "OCD is a serious diagnosis which I do not have… My mother had me tested."

"The assessment is still valid. Anything I choose would need to live up to your lofty expectations. Snob."

"I am not—" he huffed again and crossed his arms. "Well, I suppose you may have a bit of a point."

"Huh? What? What was that?" Dean held up a hand to his ear. "Could you say that again, I'm not sure I heard you correctly."

"Shut up." They mock glared at each other. "I suppose you'll just have to move in with me."

"Say what now?"

"What."

Dean snorted. "Now I'm being serious." He batted his eyelashes at Cas. "See my serious face?"

"Ugh, I take it back. You can go live in a refrigerator box."

"Nuh-uh. No take backsies. We're roomies now."

"Huh?" Castiel looked at him in surprise.

"You win. I'm moving out of the flea box. I'll give Murray my notice." Castiel smiled. Like a real, proper smile. "What?"

Before he knew it, they'd been living together for whole a year. A full twelve months. That was longer than any of his relationships had ever been. His girlfriends usually got sick of him by the eight month mark. Castiel and Dean had shared an apartment in the middle of downtown until four months ago when they moved into a very comfortable house. It was close to the park where they liked to spend their Saturdays. Sammy and the janitor were sickeningly happy whenever they talked on the phone or he saw their photos on social media. They had plans to get married in Vegas. Their dad would flip his lid when he found out. Who the heck knew what their mom would think. She was hanging out with an odd group of British friends these days.

If he thought about it too hard, their cohabitation was on the dangerously domestic side. Lately, Meg like to joke about whether it was them who should be getting hitched in Vegas. Destiel, she called them. Like Brangelina or Bennifer or Shamy. Funny… not. He and Cas weren't like that. Between the three of them, if anyone were going to elope it would be the slightly less irritating than originally thought woman and Castiel. Megstiel. He'd laughed for a week over that one.

"You're not actually anywhere near as funny as you think you are," she smirked at him. Sam thought it should've been Dea-stiel. The traitor. There goes the waffle iron he was planning to give him as a wedding present.

He knew it would be bad. He knew his dad would flip. He just didn't know it would be over him and Cas.

John Winchester had showed up out of the blue. They'd done their best to accommodate the man on such short notice. He'd started making snide comments almost as soon as he'd barged through the door, criticizing everything from the pattern of the couch to how tidy the place was kept.

They made it through nearly a week of putting up with his insinuating things about their sexualities for simply living together, and his overall judgemental attitude towards literally everything about the two of them. He finally said something outright derogatory and Dean, for the first time in his life, reached his limit when it came to his father. The little jabs he'd heard his father say while growing up were one thing. Those he could handle. Hearing him outright accusing Castiel of being a faggot who was trapping Dean in a hedonistic lifestyle of sodomy and sin was something that had actually managed to sideswipe him out of nowhere.

He lost it.

He yelled at his father. He aired out more than he intended when he did so, then he kicked the old man out and told him never to come back. John didn't go quietly. The entire time he was going on and on about exactly what he thought about their lifestyle and how their souls were damned for eternity. Dean couldn't believe it. He knew his father was a discriminating bastard, but this was beyond anything he had ever witnessed before. When the heck had he found religion? Figures the old man'd come across that particular side of it.

The room was silent after John slammed the door. They heard the engine in his truck start and fade as he drove away. Dean's heart was pounding in his ears. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe what he'd just done. The room started to spin. He was…

"Dean?"

Cas had spoken quietly but Dean still flinched. His chest constricted. He gasped for air. It was getting hard to breathe. His eyes were burning. He just… just…

"Dean!"

He was running. He didn't know where, but he was running. It was dark and it was raining and he didn't care. He didn't care that it was the middle of the friggin night. He actually didn't care that he'd just had it out with his father in a way that would likely never blow over. He just… He pushed forward faster, not even really paying attention to where he was going. He just ran. He ran until he couldn't take it anymore and sat down on the edge of a fountain with his head in his hands. He let the emotions swirling around his head course through him and allowed himself to cry.

He jumped when a hand settled on his shoulder and looked up to see a drenched Cas standing in front of him in the rain. The glow from a nearby streetlight was lined up with the back of his head making him look like one of those iconic religious paintings with the haloes. Any other time he'd have laughed at it.

"Dean?"

"Cas?" He looked into those blue eyes he'd come to care about more than he'd ever thought he'd admit. He wondered if Cas could see the helplessness in his eyes. "Cas, I—"

"Did you mean it?"

"Wh-what?"

"What you said to you father," Cas clarified. "Did you mean it?"

"I—"

"Dean," he interrupted. "It's two-thirty in the morning and it's pouring out. Let's go back home and talk about this."

Dean scoffed and stood. "What's the point?" He threw his arms out and started pacing. "What's the point of talking about it?"

"You need to calm dow—"

"I know how this is gonna end, Cas. Okay? I know." He stopped pacing about two feet away from his friend, defeated. "The same way it always does." Cas opened his mouth to say something but Dean kept talking. "And this time…" He shook his head and pointlessly wiped the rain from his face. "This time, I think it might actually…"

Silence followed this admission. He still couldn't believe he'd said it. To his father, no less. When he was yelling at him, John had snidely suggested Dean marry Cas. Unthinkingly, Dean had shot back that, if he had it his way, he would. Then he'd immediately told his father, in no uncertain terms, that he was no longer welcome in their house.

He didn't mean it. Actually, he did mean it, he just hadn't meant to say it.

Castiel was the best friend he'd ever had in his entire life. It had only taken three weeks of living with the guy to realize just how much he loved waking up and having breakfast with the guy in their own kitchen. Considering how not a morning person the other man was, that was kind of a big clue that he was falling hard. For a guy. Harder than he ever had for a woman. Because it was Cas. Yeah, he hadn't known the guy for more than four months at that point, but he'd started dating women after less time. And… he didn't want to lose this one like he'd lost all the rest. Love was heartbreak.

"I'm right here, Dean." Cas' slightly chilled hand pressed gently to his cheek. He opened his eyes, not having realized he'd closed them in the first place. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you, Dean." He smiled a little sadly. "Besides, I knew I was falling in love with the jaded son of a careless man, so incredibly careful to keep his heart in a box. All you ever had to do was ask. Can't you see that?"

Dean laughed humourlessly. "And if I'd never said anything?"

"That's your problem, Dean. You have no faith." He closed the remaining distance between them. "I would have waited for the rest of my life if that's what it took. Even if you had never admitted it and found another string of women to fill your physical needs. I would've been happy just to have been by your side in any capacity."

Dean's heart was pounding again. He was never one to use his words constructively, but he had to now. He had to let Cas know. "You're the best thing that's ever been in my life," he admitted before pulling his best friend, the only man he's ever loved like this, into a kiss. The kind worthy of the best chick-flick rom-com.

The jog back home through the continuing rain did little to warm their cold limbs. Cas had brought him his shoes, seeing as Dean had taken off barefoot. They took separate showers to warm up. After dressing for bed Dean stood in his room, uncertain. Now that the truth was out, he didn't want to go to bed alone. Not tonight. The argument from earlier had left him a little too raw, too vulnerable. He didn't want to be alone. Was that clingy?

He turned at the sound of a knock, seeing Cas standing in the open doorway.

"I wanted to see if you were alright."

Cas could probably see the answer written all over his face. "No. I'm not."

They lay next to each other, on Dean's bed. Cas spooned behind him, arms around him protectively. If Dean happened to cry again, Cas didn't judge. He wouldn't tell.

It was always nice, waking up next to a warm body. Dean curled into the heat. He didn't want to get up today. It was comfy and he was happy and well rested. His sleep fogged mind wondered who he'd gone home with last night. With a sharp intake of air, he opened his eyes and lifted his head. Cas. He'd gone home with Cas. He'd admitted he loved Cas, in a round about way. And Cas loved him back. All of him. As he was.

Cas stretched next to him and grumbled, sinking back into the mattress. He looked like a cat when he did that. Dean grinned. This is mine.

"Dean, you're staring." Castiel's gravelly voice was rougher with sleep.

"I wanna wake up next to you for the rest of my life," Dean said in a hush. He gave a lopsided grin. "And not just for the sex."

"Hmph." Cas smirked. "Let's go back to sleep and we'll see about sex later." Dean laid his head back down and pulled him close. They loosely held each other as they drifted.

"Hey, Cas?" Dean asked drowsily.

"Yes, Dean?"

"… what are we?"

"I believe we are what is commonly known as humans. Some believe we evolved from—"

Dean snorted. "Not what I meant and you know it, dork."

"Hmph, maybe," Cas chuckled. He was silent for a few moments. "We're whatever you want us to be."

Dean snuggled into him. "I want us be married."

Cas nuzzled his hair. "Then we'll get married."

"Can we sleep first?"

Cas laughed softly. "Yes, Dean."

"Cas, I…"

"I know."

- 30 -